Angels Like Me

by Karen McCombie

  The hug is fleeting, but it’s real. As Hazel lets go and hurries to her little girl, I’m immediately scooped up in another hug, from Dad this time.

  ‘Riley!’ he says.

  Actually, he cries. His shoulders are shaking, his breath coming in gulps.

  ‘Dad, I’m OK, honest!’ I assure him, patting his back as if he’s the child and I’m the parent.

  ‘Oh, Riley,’ he mumbles, his head pressed against mine, ‘you are SO like your mother it hurts.’

  From the crack in his voice, I know that his heart is breaking.

  And, from somewhere deep inside me, I know what I need to do.

  Leaving the silky blue bundle nestled in my lap, I lift both my hands and place them gently on his head.

  Ha! Who knew the warmth would feel so funny? Prickles and tickles of electricity flow through my fingers, as the gentle heat builds.

  Straight away, Dad’s shoulders relax, the warmth easing his pain and worry away.

  And the angels smile, smile, smile … I think they’re pretty pleased with their little trainee.

  ‘Riley?’ says Dad, beginning to lift his head.

  ‘Yes?’ I reply, quickly letting my hands slip away, so this doesn’t seem awkward or weird. (Pearl just whispered that instruction to me.)

  Dad stares intently at my face, as if he’s trying to take every detail of it in or remember it forever. ‘I think we need to talk about your mum …’

  Closer than close …

  Dad is about to tell me another piece of the puzzle, I’m sure of it.

  We’re nearly at the top of Folly Hill and I’m so bursting with excitement I feel like yelling, ‘JUST TELL ME!’ at the top of my voice.

  But shy girls like me aren’t so good at yelling.

  Or should I say, shy girls who are part angel like me aren’t so good at yelling?

  So I do something else.

  ‘Shall we sit over there?’ I suggest, pointing to the bench close to the Angel statue.

  Sitting on a bench is way too boring for Dot. She borrowed Bee from the Angelos this morning, so she’ll happily scamper off with him and Alastair, playing today’s game of let’s-be-baby-unicorns. (She’s doing a lot of whinnying and trotting.)

  Which finally leaves Dad and me alone to talk.

  ‘That was quite some sleep you had last night, Riley,’ Dad says with a wry smile, as we park ourselves down on the cold wood of the bench.

  ‘It was, wasn’t it?’ I laugh, hardly able to believe it was so long, that no one could wake me. Apparently I slept through Dot shaking me, singing me a shouty ‘WAKE UP!’ song she’d made up and holding a mirror to my face to check that I was still breathing.

  My epic sleep was just one reason our promised talk about Mum has had to wait.

  Yesterday, Dad and I never had a chance to be on our own anyway. After the lake drama, we all went home in a big family huddle, dropping off Coco on the way.

  While Dot was dunked in the bath – to rid her of chills and muddy lake water – I stood in the shower for forever, washing the grit and grime away, feeling as fresh and new as I’d ever felt.

  Then I went to get changed and lay down for a minute – which turned into eighteen hours straight.

  ‘Thank you for tucking me in, by the way,’ I tell him. ‘And for the flowers …’

  I’d fallen asleep on top of my duvet, so Dad had draped the spare one on top of me. I hazily remember feeling the comforting weight of the duvet and the kiss on my forehead. Then he’d propped a sprig of scented lavender beside Mum’s photo on my bedside table.

  ‘Not guilty!’ says Dad, holding his hands up jokily. ‘That was all Hazel’s work. She bought the lavender at the Frost Fair, and thought you’d like it in your room.’

  ‘That was nice of her,’ I say, blinking with surprise. (It was Hazel who’d kissed me goodnight?)

  ‘She’s still learning, you know,’ Dad says gently. ‘How we can all fit together as a family, I mean. She doesn’t want to force you into thinking of her as your stepmum, if you’re not comfortable with that.’

  How funny! All this time, Hazel’s been stressing over what I think of her? Sounds like she’s been as wary as me. I’ve always thought she’s been a little bit distant, but perhaps she’s just been worried that I don’t want a replacement mother.

  ‘You know, I think I could get used to the idea of her as my stepmum,’ I tell Dad, as we watch Dot galumphing around in her wellies.

  Things have changed in so many ways after what happened yesterday. Since I plunged into the lake to save her, I’ve ditched the ‘sort of’ and even the ‘step’. Dot is my sister and I love her. Even if she does steal my stuff (I spotted that her toenails were sparkly blue before she put her socks and shoes on to come out).

  ‘Brilliant. That’s brilliant, honey,’ says Dad, stretching his arm round my shoulders. ‘And me loving Hazel doesn’t change how much I loved your mum – you know that, don’t you?’

  ‘I know,’ I say.

  We’re both quiet and thoughtful for a second, and it’s lovely to share a comfortable silence with him. But Dad had better get on with this talk he promised me soon, or I’ll be attempting my first-ever spring …

  ‘So, about Annie.’

  Good. He’s not going to let me down (or be a guinea pig for my new powers).

  ‘She was very special, Riley. I mean, really special,’ Dad begins, rubbing at his face as if he’s struggling to know how to say something. ‘A total angel.’

  ‘Go on,’ I urge him, with the strangest fluttery feeling in my tummy. Does Dad know the truth about her?

  ‘She’d help anyone. Never a thought for herself.’

  Oh, OK, he doesn’t. To Dad, his lovely wife was just a good kind person – woman, human.

  ‘To be honest, Riley, I wasn’t ever going to tell you. But I’ve suddenly realized it’s not fair – you need to know what happened the day she …’

  Dad can’t bring himself to say the word ‘died’, and I can’t blame him.

  But his distress is like a cold wave sucking him under into a black sea, so I reach for his hand, concentrate hard and hope my first attempt at virtual stroking works.

  ‘She was killed saving a teenage girl, Riley,’ Dad carries on, unaware that I know this already, from Friday’s spring by the angels. I feel the tension draining from him, muscles relaxing as my own fledgling magic begins to take effect. ‘She saw a lorry coming towards the girl, and pushed her out of the way.’

  ‘She was a hero, then?’ I say, my heart soaring with pride.

  ‘In some ways, Riley,’ Dad replies, lifting his gaze to look straight at me. ‘This witness – a man on a motorbike – saw it all. You were in a sling on your mum’s chest, but when the lorry hit … well, you were somehow flung from the sling. You landed on the road, right by the girl’s smashed iPod. But you only had bruises. Just bruises! Can you believe it? Riley, you could have been as broken as the metal and plastic …’

  Hold on.

  I was in the accident?

  I was with Mum till the moment she died?

  Shock freezes the blood in my veins.

  So this is why Dad was always so very sad and angry about Mum’s death. The fact that Mum left us both behind was awful enough, but he was also torn up inside with anger because she put me in danger that day, that terrible moment. He’s missed her and blamed her all these years …

  Suddenly I feel something – the chilly grip of the shock melting with warmth. Somewhere close by, somewhere unseen, the angels are taking care of me.

  And now babbles and burblings of whispers fill my head, overlapping so I don’t know which angel is saying what.

  ‘She loved him so much she settled for a human life …’

  ‘She stepped out into the road, forgetting which world she belonged to …’

  ‘She thought of herself as pure angel, there to help …’

  ‘You’ll have to take care too, Riley …’

  Dad is staring at me,
waiting for a reaction, worried what it might be.

  ‘I’m fine, Dad. Mum was a hero,’ I say, leaning over to give him a hug.

  ‘Oh, Riley.’ Dad sighs with relief at spilling his bottled-up secret at last.

  Over his shoulder I can see three dancing dots of light by the stone Angel. I’m glad my friends came; I’m glad they’ve shared this moment with me. And, after all this time of feeling so far from her, now I know I was close, so close to Mum till the very last second of her life.

  ‘Told you it would be soon!’ a giggly voice fills my head, and I see one of the dots practically bouncing with delight.

  I smile at Pearl, in her non-girl form.

  ‘Stuart, STUART!’ Dot suddenly squeals, cantering over to us at high speed, with Alastair bumping behind her, Bee bounding by her side.

  ‘What is it, Dotty?’ asks Dad, gently breaking away from our hug.

  ‘I need to get home NOW!’ Dot demands. ‘It’s Coco’s princess birthday party soon and I need to get ready and SPARKLY!’

  ‘Do you want to borrow my glittery blue nail varnish again?’ I say with a grin, knowing it’s hidden in her room somewhere.

  ‘Mmm,’ mumbles Dot, biting her lip and wriggling with guilty embarrassment.

  I’ll let her off this time. I’ll give her the big-sister chat later, and tell her she’s welcome to borrow my stuff, as long as she asks first – and as long as she promises not to fall in the lake and give me a heart attack ever again.

  ‘Didn’t realize that was the time,’ Dad says, glancing down at his watch. ‘Sorry to cut this short, Riley, but I guess we’d better get going.’

  ‘I think I’ll stay for a bit. I’ll let Bee run around some more,’ I tell him.

  ‘Fair enough,’ says Dad, giving me a squeeze of the shoulders before he stands up. ‘But we can talk anytime, about anything, OK, Riley? Your mum … anything.’

  I smile, incredibly happy with that promise. It’s all I ever wanted.

  Well, that and friendship. When Tia left I had no one, and now there’s Sunshine, Kitt and Pearl, Woody and Marnie. Even Etta feels like a friend to me, especially since she knew Mum.

  Maybe once Dad and Dot are far enough down the hill, the angels can materialize and we can plan what to do for Etta, figure out how to brighten her world and bring back her –

  ‘Here,’ says Dot, turning and running back to me.

  She’s holding out Alastair. His dopey face is looking straight into mine, his drawn-on tongue lolling. What does she want? For me to give Alastair a kiss bye-bye or something?

  ‘I have a NEW New Year Wish, Riley!’ Dot announces. ‘It’s for Etta to have her OWN doggy. I think it will make her MUCH happier. So can you give her Alastair?’

  ‘What?’ I say in surprise. ‘But you love Alastair.’

  ‘Oh, I don’t need him any more now I can have Bee to play with whenever I want!’

  And, with a tra-la-la, Dot deposits Alastair in my lap and hurries off down the hill after Dad.

  With Bee’s head resting comfortingly on my lap, I stare after Dad and Dot for the longest time, till the crunchy flint path leads them down into the tangle of streets below.

  Then I hear crackling and rustling all around me.

  Wings rising, Sunshine and Kitt appear on the bench either side of me.

  ‘Aw, that’s so sweet of Dot!’ says Pearl, perching on the back of the bench. ‘And Etta is going to adore him.’

  ‘It’s only a stick!’ I laugh, gazing around at my three friends.

  ‘Not quite,’ says Kitt.

  I look down. For the last few minutes I’ve been lost in my thoughts, absent-mindedly stroking a sea-smoothed, hard hunk of driftwood with doodles drawn on.

  But there’s been a slight change …

  ‘Hey, whoa! Hold on,’ I giggle, as the puppy in my lap tries to bounce up and lick my face.

  ‘He’s perfect,’ says Sunshine. ‘He will bring back Etta’s shine. Well done, Riley.’

  ‘Well done?’ I reply, confused. ‘Wasn’t it Bee who made this happen?’

  But, as I wrestle with the wriggly sausage dog, I feel a tell-tale vibration in my hands. So it was me.

  Between Dot’s kind New Year Wish for Etta and my own brand-new powers, we’re going to give Marnie’s nan a fresh start.

  And the new start starts now.

  ‘I’d better take him to her, then,’ I say, standing up and aiming for the brow of the hill in the direction of Marnie’s house. ‘Coming?’

  I glance over my shoulder and see the three angels still sitting on the bench, Bee panting happily on the ground. Their eyes shimmer and shine with silver light and love.

  ‘Not this time,’ they whisper in quiet words.

  That’s OK. I can do this on my own. I’m not shy Riley any more; well, not totally.

  I give them a wave and go to carry on – then clearly hear Sunshine’s voice in my head.

  ‘Hey, do you want to know what the answer is?’

  She’s sitting tall and serene, red hair dancing in the breeze. Beside her Kitt stares intently at me, and Pearl giggles with delight, obviously knowing what’s coming.

  ‘Yes,’ I reply in my own quiet words, as the puppy yelps noisily in my arms.

  Sunshine’s going to tell me what they are, isn’t she? What they are, what Mum was, what I’ll never be, since I’m rooted here on earth.

  ‘Those random out-of-the-blue moments of sudden joy you can feel. Shafts of sunlight peeking through the clouds. An answer that comes when your head’s been crammed with worries. A daydream. That’s us. That’s who we are.’

  I smile my brightest smile at Sunshine.

  I have no idea what she’s saying and yet it makes perfect, beautiful sense.

  As I walk away I smile up at the stone Angel on her white block and think once again how lucky I am that the angels like me.

  Then I laugh to myself when I realize that, after all, now I know the truth, they are angels like me.

  Angels – just like me …

  Acknowledgements

  Big authorly thanks to Wendy, Jennie, Kimberley and Marcus for their sharp eyes and tender tweaks (ooh!).

  Make your own friendship bracelet

  Friendship bracelets are great fun to make and even better when you make one with your best friend! Just follow our step-by-step guide and you’ll have a unique gift – one that’s really simple, but really special to you both!

  1. Choose three colours of embroidery thread or old wool – pick any colour combination you like. Why not check out the ‘What colours mean’ chart below and pick colours that represent your friend’s character?

  2. Take two strands of each colour.

  3. Tie a knot at the end of the six strands and separate the different colours from each other.

  4. Get your friend to hold the knotted end of the bracelet and start plaiting the three colours together – cross the two strands on the left over the two strands in the middle, and then do the same with the two strands on the right.

  5. Repeat this until the bracelet is long enough to go round your wrist, then tie a knot at the other end.

  6. Snip off any straggly ends and tie round your wrist.

  7. Now repeat the above to make a second bracelet for your friend!

  What colours mean

  Red: Enthusiastic Orange: Friendly Yellow: Cheerful

  Green: Chilled Blue: Loyal Purple: Imaginative

  Pink: Sweet Brown: Kind

  White: Honest Black: Deep thinker

  www.karenmccombie.com

  Create a Friendship Collage

  A collage that’s all about you and your friends – that’s got to look great on your wall, right? Or why don’t you make one in secret, as a surprise for someone? Of course, there are websites where you can create an online collage, but there’s nothing like getting a bunch of photos and images and snipping, sticking and gluing them together by hand!

  1. Decide on the theme.

  What do you and your
friend(s) like to do together? Share a hobby?

  Watch movies? What makes you laugh, squeal, drool? Decide on your theme – and you’re ready for Step 2 …

  2. Grab some photos.

  The snaps you use should be of you as well as your friend(s), or group shots of you together. Choose a variety of sizes and shapes, as well as photos taken from different times of your life. (If you don’t want to use the ACTUAL photos, copy them on a printer and use the copies instead.)

  3. Flick through some mags or the internet.

  Browse through magazines or online to select headlines or images or even just fun words that represent the theme of your collage.

  Rip out the pages or print out your favourites to use. You could also look for a quote from a film or book that you both love, or maybe even a phrase you always say to each other.

  4. Get creative.

  For a cool collage, cut each photo into an interesting shape. If you have a photo of you and a friend, for instance, cut round your bodies and discard the background. Or maybe stick your heads on to a star made out of silver foil, or transplant yourselves on to a funny background, like a scene in Harry Potter!

  5. Add the words.

  The words and phrases you’ve picked from magazines or online should be a variety of sizes, shapes, fonts and colours.

  6. Get gluing!

  Stick the larger images on to a poster board (from art shops) or just some cardboard, and then paste other images around them. Try to cover every area of the backing board with either a photo or words. Remember: you can get clever with your background too – if you don’t want to have just one big rectangle, you could cut it into a circle, or even a chunky letter from the alphabet, like the first letter of you or your friend’s name.

  7. Final touches.

  Got any tickets from shows you’ve been to together? Even tickets from things like swimming or ice skating are nice last-minute additions. And scrabble around for some craft stuff to add sparkle, like bits of ribbon or sequins.

  Even buttons look cute!

  8. Tah-nah!

  Your collage is ready. Stick it up on your wall, or present it to your friend. And don’t forget – you can always update it by adding a new photo to it now and then.