"Oh," was I all said.
"You don't have to worry too much. The maids have seen anything and everything. I doubt anything you would own could shock them at this point."
A small fit of pique rose in my chest. Did he still think I was just an inexperienced kid?
Well, the inexperienced part was right, but…
"How do you know?" I folded my arms over my chest. "Maybe I'm into something really weird and kinky."
Cameron raised an eyebrow. "And what exactly might that weird and kinky something be?"
I wracked my brain. I couldn't come up with anything racier than handcuffs, and maybe a paddle for spanking.
"Don't strain yourself," he said, his eyes twinkling with humor. "I don't expect you to be well versed in the perverted arts like I am."
I suspected he was just making fun of me. "And what weird kinks are you into?" I challenged.
"Ever heard of Daddy Dom?"
I made a face instinctively. "You're really into girls calling you Daddy?"
"Is that judgment I hear in your voice?" he teased.
I fought to smooth out my expression. "Well. I mean. I guess if that's what does it for you…"
Cameron laughed in my face. "I'm just fucking with you. There's nothing weird about my tastes."
"What do you consider not weird?" I had a feeling Cameron Thorne and I had very different standards for weird.
He shrugged casually. "I like sex."
"That's it?"
"I didn't clarify how I like to have sex."
There were several ways I could imagine Cameron having sex. And I was vividly imaging it happening with me.
I swallowed hard as Cameron's eyes flashed, half full of wicked amusement, half full of simmering heat. As if he knew exactly what I was thinking. As if my thoughts were written across my face.
"Maybe little Lily Hart does have perverted thoughts after all?"
"Don't call me that," I said automatically. "It's bad enough when the twins do it."
"You have some sort of complex about that, don't you?" he asked curiously. "You hate it when people remind you how young you are."
"I'm not young," I retorted. "I'm older than you were when your band first hit it big."
"That's different."
"How is it different?"
"I'm not anyone's baby sibling."
"Just because Noah—"
"It's not just Noah," he interrupted. "I still remember when you were in knee high socks and pigtails."
"I never wore pigtails."
"It's a metaphor." Cameron gave me a rueful smile. "It's hard to look at you now and not remember the little girl you used to be."
I looked down at the papers and books on my bed, avoiding his eyes. "Is that really how you see me? Just a little girl? A little sister?"
He went silent.
"No," he said eventually. He didn't elaborate.
I met his eyes. "I've always been treated like a kid. First Noah acting like the protective older brother my whole life, then being stuck at boarding school. I hoped that by coming home I'd finally be able to live the kind of life I want."
Cameron cocked his head at me. "And what kind of life is that?"
I opened my mouth to speak, but paused.
"I… don't know," I said slowly. "All I ever cared about was coming home, going to art school. I didn't think much past that."
"You really have a problem with thinking ahead, don't you?" Cameron teased, referring to my failed plan to show up backstage and surprise Noah.
"I hate feeling like I've missed out on half my life," I blurted out. "I feel like I'm years behind everyone else."
Cameron looked at me thoughtfully. He strode across to room and sat next to me on the bed.
"Listen." His tone was earnest. "I know you're insistent on everyone treating you like an adult, but you're only nineteen. You have the rest of your life ahead of you. Whatever you think you missed out on, you've got time."
"I've never been drunk," I blurted out.
Cameron looked astonished. "Never?"
"The other women and I at my artists' retreat would have wine with supper. That's it. Anyone caught sneaking in alcohol at my boarding school got expelled, so few risked it." I took in a deep breath. "I've never gone to a rock show that wasn't my brother's. I've never gotten high. I've never snuck out of my bedroom window at midnight."
The appalled expression on Cameron's face would have been amusing, if I hadn't been so disgruntled. I gave him a helpless look and gestured wildly with my hands.
"I've missed out on so much. I want to finally experience life, and I don't want it to be under someone else's rules. Is it really that hard to understand?"
"No. I get it. I guess we had the opposite problem." Cameron ran a hand through his bangs, revealing both blue eyes. "As someone who had to grow up too fast, I can tell you there's nothing wrong with taking your time."
"I think my brother would have a word or two to say about you applying the word grown up to yourself."
"I haven't set fire to the place yet. That counts for something, doesn't it?" He flashed me a grin before going serious. "I promise, I don't see you as a little girl."
My heart thumped in my chest as I met Cameron's eyes.
"How do you see me?"
I knew what answer I wanted.
I wondered what answer Cameron was going to give me.
"Lily…" His face was pained.
Cameron's phone buzzed, saving him from having to respond. He gave it a quick glance.
"Pizza's almost here," he murmured. "Let's head down to pick it up."
I followed Cameron silently through the mansion. We didn't speak. Our footsteps echoed against the walls. This place was so empty. It wasn't creepy-empty.
Just lonely-empty.
I was beginning to understand why Cameron threw so many parties.
He met the pizza guy at the front door and pushed a wad of cash into his hand. From the look on the guy's face, the tip must have been over the top.
"Thanks, man!" he said with a wide grin.
"All the delivery guys fight over who gets to bring me my food." Cameron kicked the door closed with one foot, holding the box of pizza in his hands. "That's why it never takes more than twenty minutes for it to get here. They speed the whole way. They all want the big tip."
Cameron threw me a look, close to a leer, and wriggled his eyebrows.
Big tip.
I groaned. "That's awful." But secretly I was pleased. Cameron was back to his usual self, flirting and using innuendo around me.
"Lots more where that came from, Angel."
That pet name made me flush. It was the same thing he'd called me before. It reminded me of that night at the concert. Reminded me of his offer.
I had to stop thinking of that. Had to stop remembering those words on his tongue, and the look in his eyes as he said it.
We were just friends.
That's all we were ever going to be.
Chapter Eight
I followed as Cameron took the pizza to the kitchen. He pulled out two plates from the cupboard. I was half surprised he didn't just eat off paper napkins. I told him as much.
"I know I have a bachelor reputation to uphold, but I do know how to behave like a civilized human being."
"Do civilized human beings casually talk about their kinks and love of sex?"
"I said I know how to act civilized. I didn't say I always did it."
As we spoke, Cameron placed slices of pizza on the plates. He handed me mine with three slices. Just the right amount of broccoli and spinach, perfectly proportioned.
"You sure you want to eat that?" The look of distaste on Cameron's face made me laugh. "There are more vegetables than pizza on that plate."
I nodded to his slices. "So fruit on a pizza is fine, but vegetables are gross?"
"Point taken." His eyes met mine, as if debating something internally. "You want to watch a movie while we eat?" he finally asked.
I was surprised he wasn't planning on just running away again.
"Sure. I could use a break from studying."
I thought Cameron would show me to one of his living rooms, probably with a big screen TV and comfy sofas.
Instead, he took me to the fourth floor and opened up a set of double doors. Inside was essentially a small movie theater. A dozen soft leather armchairs faced the screen, which took up most of the far wall. From what I'd seen of the house so far, I should have expected it. I was still taken aback.
"Have you got a bowling alley tucked away somewhere, too?" I asked. "A helicopter pad on the roof, maybe?"
Cameron looked around, as if seeing the place for the first time.
"It is a bit much," he agreed.
"If it's too much, why did you buy the place?"
"You thought I bought this mansion?" He shook his head ruefully. "Rock stars make a lot of money but I wouldn't blow all of it on a place as crazy as this." He gave the room another look, not meeting my eyes. 'This is my parent's house."
I stifled a giggle. "You live with your parents?"
Cameron threw me a dirty look. "No. They've got another place of their own. This one's mine now."
"I can't believe the famous rock star Cameron Thorne still lives at home."
The disgruntled look hadn't left his face. "Laugh it up. You're just jealous you don't have a swanky pad like this."
"It is pretty swanky," I agreed. "What in the world do your parents do, that they can afford a place like this?"
His face fell for a brief instant before he flashed me a smile, covering up the downcast expression.
"Dad's in banking. Some sort of high powered CEO. I dunno. I never paid much attention to it. They've got more money than they know what to do with."
"So they just gave you a mansion?"
"It was my sixteenth birthday present."
I frowned, reading between the lines. "Is that when they stopped living here?"
He took note of my frown. "Yeah, well, they were always off traveling together for business or whatever. Turning sixteen didn't make much of a difference."
I couldn't believe Cameron's parents had moved out and left him alone at the age of sixteen. "I'm sorry."
"You kidding? Being given free rein was like a dream. I could do whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted." Cameron threw me a forced grin. "Best birthday present ever."
I smiled back, but my heart wasn't in it. The whole story just sounded sad. He'd been left all alone while he was still just a teenager.
I understood what it was like to be abandoned. My mom had taken off when I was young. My brother had gotten me out of foster care the moment he could, but then…
My mind quickly skimmed over the but then.
Afterwards, I'd been sent to boarding school overseas. I knew Noah had done it for my own benefit, but still. I would have much preferred to stay at home with him.
"So if you're worried about anyone walking in on you swimming in your bra and panties, you don't need to be. I'm the only one around."
Cameron was back to his usual self. Using innuendo to deflect.
"Jen promised to take me shopping soon," I told him. "I'll pick up some swimsuits then."
"Don't put yourself out on my account. I don't mind the bra and panties thing."
I flushed and crossed my arms over my chest.
"Just teasing," he said with a laugh. "I promise I'll be on my best behavior."
What if I don't want you to be on your best behavior?
The thought came to me, but I didn't say it out loud. I liked how Cameron had flirted with me at first, but I knew he'd never follow through now.
Cameron flopped down on the armchair closest to the screen. It was the perfect distance away. Not too close so as to hurt your neck while craning up.
"So which movie do you want to watch?" he asked.
"What have you got?"
"Everything."
"Are you telling me you own every DVD in existence, too?"
"I've got this cool little box. You hook it up to your TV and it gives you anything you could ever want. Even movies still playing in theaters."
I gave him a skeptical look. "Is that legal?"
"I'm sure it's not illegal." He stressed the first syllable.
"Between the weed I smelled at your party, the speed at which your food delivery guys drive, and now this, I'm beginning to think you're a bad influence."
"Only beginning to think? Damn, I'll have to try harder." He threw me a remote with a slow underhand toss. I fumbled to catch it with both hands. "Scroll through and pick something. I'm easy."
"So I've heard," I replied without thinking.
"Ouch," he said, deadpan. "I'm wounded."
"Sorry."
"You're going to keep throwing my reputation in my face?"
I opened my mouth to throw out a snappy comeback. His expression made me pause. He did look vaguely wounded. Was he really that sensitive about it, or was he just playing me?
"I won't bring up your sex life if you don't bring up mine," I said instead.
He arched an eyebrow and sat up straight. "So there is a sex life to speak of?"
"Didn't I just say we weren't going to talk about it?"
"No. You said you won't talk about mine if I don't talk about yours. I'm more than willing to let you speculate on my sexual escapades if that means I can tease you about yours."
"You really do like pissing people off, don't you?"
"Not my fault you and your brother are such easy marks."
"Remind me why I agreed to move in here again?"
"My incredible wit? My not-inconsiderable charm? No, wait." He faked a thoughtful pose. "It was my astounding good looks, wasn't it?"
I couldn't disagree with that, so I kept quiet.
Cameron got serious. "If you really don't want me talking about this kind of stuff with you, I can try to keep a lid on it." He gave me a sly look. "But that might mean I won't have much else to say."
"I'm sure you have more to add to a conversation than just sexual innuendo."
The quickest of expressions crossed his face. Something almost like surprise. Then he smirked and it was gone. "Thank you for thinking so highly of me. Not many would."
I knew Cameron could hold a regular conversation. He'd talked about his parents, and how they moved out and left him alone. He hadn't put it quite that way, of course. But it was the most real I'd seen Cameron since I'd first run into him.
I wanted to drag more of that man out into the light. I wanted to get to know the real Cameron. The man behind the wild, crazy parties and playboy ways.
"So you gonna choose a movie or what?"
I looked down at the remote in my hand.
"There's a million buttons on this." I tossed it back to him. "You choose."
He caught it in one hand easily. "Any preferences?"
"Nothing scary. Or sad and tragic. Or too serious and dramatic. And nothing too action-y with exploding cars."
"You want to watch G-rated kid's cartoons, then?"
"Hey, some of those Disney-Pixar movies are emotionally devastating."
"Why don't we watch a classic?" he suggested.
"What do you consider a classic?"
Cameron didn't seem the type to enjoy Breakfast at Tiffany's or Gone With The Wind.
"Come sit down," he said, ignoring my question.
I took a tentative seat in the armchair next to his. He flipped through various options, finally settling on one. The title came on the screen. I laughed.
"Back To The Future? That's your idea of a classic?"
"Of course. It's the quintessential eighties movie."
"I thought that was The Breakfast Club."
"Technically it's Ferris Buller's Day Off, but I'm in the mood for a trilogy. Now, you want to watch a movie or you want to debate the definition of classic?"
I sat back in my seat and nibbled on a piece of now-cool pizza. We'd taken our sweet time deciding what t
o watch.
As the movie began, I noticed Cameron's expression relaxing. There had been slight tension in his forehead I hadn't even noticed was there until it was gone. His lips were soft and slightly parted. The one deep blue eye not covered by long bangs reflected the light of the screen, making it shine. He looked as boyish as he ever had. No defenses.
"This part here is my favorite," he said suddenly.
I blinked, my attention taken away from the movie. "Oh," was all I said. I wondered why he'd bothered to tell me.
Cameron continued to talk through the movie. He recited some of the lines along with the characters and imitated some of the sound effects. He laughed out loud at the funny parts and cursed at the dramatic parts.
Was he going to be like this through the whole thing?
An hour in he turned to me and found me staring.
"Something wrong?" He tilted his head, questioning.
I gave him a weak smile and shook my head. I returned my attention to the screen.
Maybe that explained it. Why Cameron had come to my room and asked me to eat with him. Asked me to watch a movie with him.
How long had it been since Cameron had last done this? Sat and talked through a movie with a friend, making jokes and laughing together?
He always had tons of people over. Always had a house full of friends drinking and partying.
But how many of them stayed the next morning when the weed and alcohol had run dry? How many would sit and watch stupid eighties movies with him?
"This part right here." He turned to me. "It's so cool, right?"
"It's definitely cool," I agreed.
As the movie continued to play and Cameron continued his commentary I couldn't help remembering one thing.
How lonely this place had felt as I walked through its halls.
Chapter Nine
I hadn't meant to take that long of a break. I still needed to finish the readings for my seminar the next day. But when Cameron put in the sequel, and then the threequel — which was a real word, according to him — I hadn't been able to say no.
It was past midnight by the time we finished our impromptu movie marathon. I hadn't realized it was so late.
The hallway was dark when we finally stepped out of the movie theater room. The tall windows which had let in so much light during the daytime now showed only the dark night sky. The curtains were all wide open. I saw my own reflection in the blackness. I shivered.
Hard Rock Sin: A Rock Star Romance Page 5
