Noah's expression turned murderous. His fists were balled and shaking with rage.
This was exactly what I'd been afraid of.
"Cameron, be quiet for a minute." I turned my attention back to my brother. "I know what you're thinking. But you need to listen to me."
I brought my hands to my brother's face and forced him to look at me. He reluctantly turned his gaze from Cameron to me.
I swallowed hard. I'd never been the recipient of Noah's glare like this. It was scary. No wonder Cameron had been so hesitant in the beginning. I powered on.
"Cameron and I are together." I kept my voice firm and calm. "We're dating. He's not using me, he's not tricking me into anything. We're a couple."
Noah's glare softened into a look of confusion.
"I know you want to protect me from the world, but you don't need to protect me from this. Cameron and I—"
I stopped and turned my eyes to my boyfriend. Noah followed my gaze.
"I love her," Cameron said softly, his eyes on me and me alone.
Noah let out a noise in the back of his throat, almost like disbelief.
"You think you can just lie to get my baby sister into bed—"
"It's not a lie," Cameron said sharply. It was his turn to frown. "I love Lily. I want to be with her."
The fury on Noah's face flickered. Uncertainty began to take its place. Noah looked to me, then back at Cameron.
Cameron continued speaking, having sensed that Noah was finally calming down.
"You can kick the shit out of me or kick me out of the band or whatever. But I'm not going to let you, or anything else, get in the way of me being with the woman I love."
Cameron pulled down the collar of his shirt, exposing his upper chest.
Tattooed on his skin was a lily. The same lily I'd been drawing for years.
"Cameron…" I was near speechless. I went over to him and traced the tattoo with a light touch. He placed his hand over mine.
"I want you to know how much you mean to me. I want your brother to know. You're it, Lily. You're the only one for me."
Tears sprang to my eyes.
"It's beautiful," I whispered. I stood on my tiptoes to place a soft kiss on his lips.
Noah growled, but didn't say anything. He continued glaring for a few more moments. Slowly, bit by bit, his stance softened. His balled fists relaxed at his sides. That burning hatred in his gaze eased somewhat.
My brother looked to me.
"You're serious about this?" he asked, his voice still low and dangerous.
I stood in front of my brother, hand in hand with Cameron. "I am."
"We're both serious," Cameron added.
His eyes snapped to Cameron.
"If you're just playing with her—" he warned in a growl.
"I'm not." Cameron's voice was final. "I love her."
"And I love Cameron," I said. I went to Noah and took his hands in mine, squeezing them tight. "I'm not a little girl anymore. I know what I want. And I want Cameron."
Noah squeezed back reflexively. "You know he goes through women like tissues?"
"Hey!" Cameron protested.
I flushed, half embarrassed, half upset. "Like you and the rest of your friends are any better? I've heard the stories, too, you know."
Noah had the decency to look chagrinned. He let out a long, slow breath through his nose. He lifted his eyes to the ceiling for a brief moment, the way he always seemed to do when mustering up the patience to deal with Cameron.
"Out of all the women in the world to fuck, you just had to pick my baby sister?"
"Noah!" I smacked him in the chest. He grunted.
"Lily's an amazing woman," Cameron said. His voice was stable and solid, not a hint of doubt. "She's talented and smart and kind and thoughtful." A small smirk crossed his lips. "Not to mention sexy as hell."
Noah growled and took a step forward. I held him back.
"Could you not?" I said with a groan, speaking to both of them.
"I'm serious," Cameron continued. "In the time that Lily and I lived together I fell for her. Completely. And I want to continue living with her." Cameron looked to me proudly. "Lily's going to stay with me when school starts."
"What?" Noah said flatly.
I cringed without meaning to. "Um. Actually…" I hedged, not knowing how to say it. I took a deep breath. "I decided I'm going to move out on my own."
Cameron and Noah both stared at me.
"No," my brother said, his stance unequivocal.
"What?" Cameron said, utterly shocked.
I babbled, knowing I had to try to explain before anyone got hurt.
"I feel like I've been living under someone's thumb my whole life. Foster care, and then living with my brother, and then being in boarding school. I never got to live life on my own. I feel like a sheltered bird in a cage."
Cameron's mouth dropped open, hurt flooding his expression. He began to speak.
I cut him off.
"I love you Cameron, and I want to be with you too, but on my own terms. As a fully fledged adult. I don't want to just move in with you by default because I have no other choice."
I turned to my brother.
"I'm so grateful for everything you've done for me. I know how hard it is for you to let go and watch me spread my wings. But I need to know what it's like to be by myself, even if it's only for a little while."
I stopped talking to take a breath.
The two of them continued staring at me, silent. I could see my words working through their respective heads.
I continued, trying to make them understand.
"Cameron, I'm not saying I want to leave you. That's not the case at all. You know how much I love you. And Noah, I'm not saying I don't want my big brother by my side. But I need this. I need this for me."
Slowly, ever so slowly, Noah nodded.
"Fine. I get it," he said eventually. "You need your freedom."
I let out a relieved sigh. "Yes. I need the freedom to make my own choices. To live life on my terms."
"Where will you stay?" Noah asked.
"Jen's old apartment. She and her roommates are all living with their boyfriends now, but they still have their lease until the new year."
Noah's eyebrow twitched. "You talked to Jen about this?"
"She figured it out on her own."
My brother looked put out, but didn't complain any further. I hoped he wasn't upset with Jen for not telling, but I knew Jen could hold her own against Noah Cranky-Pants Hart.
I turned to Cameron, hoping that he would take this well. His face was pained.
"You don't want to live with me?" he asked.
It seemed that was the one part he was stuck on.
I went to him and wrapped one arm around his shoulders. With my other hand, I traced his new tattoo through his shirt. Noah averted his gaze, looking uncomfortable at our display of affection.
"I do want to live with you. But I need to be on my own for a little while." I stood on my tiptoes to meet his gaze. "I don't want to just be the little sister crashing at your place. I want to be your girlfriend, your partner. I need some space before I can feel like I'm your equal. Can you understand that?"
"You are my equal," he said, confused.
"I don't always feel that way. I rely on you so much. Too much. You're always taking care of me. I need to feel like I can take care of myself, first."
The hurt in his eyes didn't completely go away, but Cameron nodded.
"Okay," he said quietly. He buried his face in my hair and clutched me to his chest.
"I'm not going anywhere," I explained. "We're still going to be dating. We'll still see each other all the time. I just need to have a place to call my own, at least for a little while."
Cameron pulled back, keeping his arms around me. He met my gaze, serious and intent.
"I suppose that just means one thing," he said solemnly.
"What's that?"
He gave me that familiar car
nal grin, those dark blue eyes glinted with wicked mischief. "We'll have to have lots of sleepovers." He cupped my ass with both hands and squeezed.
I squeaked. Noah growled. Cameron laughed.
"At least have the decency to wait until I'm out of the room before you molest my sister." Rage threatened to take over Noah's expression again.
Cameron's face lit up, eyes sparkling. "So I have your permission to molest her?"
Noah snarled. "Don't push your fucking luck."
Cameron smirked. Noah scowled.
I let out a small laugh at the two of them.
With those familiar looks, Cameron's sly smirk and Noah's grumpy scowling, I knew we were going to be okay.
Epilogue
"Stop picking at the turkey." I smacked Cameron's hand away as he darted under my arm for another piece of crispy skin.
"If I don't get the good stuff now, Damon's going to snag it all," Cameron complained.
"The both of you need to leave some for everyone else." I finished checking the internal temperature and put it back in the oven for another fifteen minutes.
Cameron rubbed at his stomach. "But I'm starving. This is like a real life Hunger Games. Why can't we eat now?"
"Because everyone isn't here yet," Jen said as she came into the kitchen. She carried an armful of fine china in her hands. She held out the heavy dishes to Cameron. "Here, make yourself useful."
Cameron took them easily. "Why aren't we just using paper plates?"
"Because we're not heathens," I said.
"Some of us aren't," Noah muttered as he came up behind Jen. He wrapped his arms around her waist and tugged her to his side. He whispered something in her ear. She blushed and melted into his arms.
I averted my gaze. It wasn't as bad as walking in on them having sex, but the quiet moments were almost more intimate. I supposed if my brother had learned to deal with mine and Cameron's displays of affection, I could deal with his.
We were all gathering for Christmas dinner at Cameron's place. It was a bit odd, being here again. I'd only been back a few times since I'd moved out. I'd wanted to make a clean break. Cameron mostly spent time at my apartment — which was in actuality Jen's apartment.
The lease was ending in the new year, and I still hadn't figured out where I was going to go next. I knew I could always move back into the mansion, but for some reason that thought made me oddly uncomfortable. Maybe it was knowing that the place would never truly be mine. Maybe it was that it only reminded me of all the panic attacks I'd had here.
Either way, I only had a few more weeks to decide what to do.
"August texted to say he's on his way," Noah told us.
Cameron perked up. "And then food?"
I laughed. "Yes, when August gets here we can have food."
My boyfriend fist pumped the air, forgetting he had dishes in his arms. They wobbled and almost came crashing to the ground. Jen and Noah steadied them at the last second.
"Why don't we go put these on the table?" Jen pushed half the plates into Noah's hands and ushered him into the dining room.
Cameron barely noticed, still overly excited about the prospect of food.
"You're acting like you hadn't eaten in years," I said.
"I've had no appetite since you moved out," Cameron said mournfully. "I'm wasting away."
"You're over at my place every day," I said with a laugh.
"It's not the same."
I nodded thoughtfully. "Things do seem different."
Cameron cocked his head. "Bad different?"
I smiled at him. "No. Good different. I finally feel like I'm my own person. I don't just feel like Noah's sister or your girlfriend. I feel… like Lily Hart. Moving out of the mansion was a good decision for me."
Cameron gave me a considering look. "You don't want to move back in, do you?"
I looked down at the counter, busying myself with wiping it down. "I just… don't think it's the best place for me to be. Not yet."
"Good."
I looked up at Cameron, confused. "Good?"
He nodded. "I'm selling it."
I blinked. "Selling… the mansion?"
"Yeah."
"Why?"
"Seemed like the thing to do," he said breezily.
I put down the towel I'd been cleaning with. "Cameron…"
His expression turned serious. "It's not just about you. I've been thinking about it for a long time. This place is pretty big for only one person. And you're right." He smirked. "It's pretty embarrassing for a grown man to still be living at home."
"Who says you're a grown man?" I replied automatically.
He raised an eyebrow and stalked towards me with a carnal grin. "Angel, you really need me to show you how much of a man I am? 'Cause I'll do it, right here and now."
He backed me up against the counter, hips pressed into mine. I flushed, but allowed it. If Noah walked in, let him growl. I'd seen worse with him and Jen.
"How will you throw all those raging house parties?" I asked.
"I guess I won't."
I faked a gasp of shock. "No more famous Cameron Thorne parties? How will we survive?"
"I only had those parties 'cause…" he shrugged, uncomfortable. "It got lonely, you know? Before I met the guys, it was just me alone in this huge house. Growing up, I was only able to throw them because my parents were gone. Because they didn't care what I did. And the crazier my parties got, the more I was reminded of that."
Not for the first time, my heart ached for Cameron.
He must have noticed my sad expression, because he shook his head and grinned.
"Don't get me wrong, I love a raging party as much as the next rock star. I'd just rather not have them in this mansion anymore."
"Where will you live? Are you going to get a new place?"
His expression turned oddly nervous. He pulled out his phone and swiped a few times.
"Take a look." He turned the screen to face me.
There was a series of photos of the interior of a house. It wasn't quite a mansion, but still big. It looked new and modern, but not in that sterile, austere way. Dark hardwood floors and black marbled countertops gave it a homey feel.
"I like it," I said approvingly.
Cameron looked relieved. "You do?"
"It looks cozy, in a weird this house is five thousand square feet kind of way."
"It's not that big," he laughed. He turned serious. "I'm glad you like it." Cameron put his phone back in his pocket. "Because I want to ask you something."
"You want me to help you decorate?"
"No." He took my hand and placed something in my palm, a cool, light weight. I looked down.
A key.
"I'd like you to move in with me. Officially. For real."
My heart swelled. I looked from Cameron to the key and back again.
"I want this to be our house," he said earnestly. "I want you to feel like you have a home."
Tears sprung to my eyes. I threw my arms around Cameron's neck. I fought back a rush of tears.
"Of course I'll move in with you."
Cameron let out a relieved breath. "Oh thank fuck."
I snorted a laugh. "Were you worried I'd say no?"
"A bit," he admitted.
"I love you," I said simply. "Of course I want to live with you. I just needed some time to myself first, that's all."
I reached into his pocket, fishing for his phone.
"You want to take me up on my offer to show you how much of a man I am?" he teased.
"I want to see my house again."
Cameron and I put our heads together, scrolling through the pictures. As he explained the details of each room, I ruminated on that thought.
My house. My home. A place to call my own.
I snuck a peek up at Cameron. His dark blue eyes were alight with happiness.
No, it wasn't my home.
It was our home. Mine and Cameron's.
Free of fears.
Free of
secrets.
Free of loneliness.
I was no longer just Noah Hart's little sister. He was no longer just the playboy bassist of Darkest Days.
We were Cameron and Lily, two lovers ready to start our life together.
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Coming Soon:
Darkest Days #4: Hard Rock Heat
Featuring guitarist of Darkest Days Damon Drake and Hope’s sister Faith, Hard Rock Heat is the fourth novel in the Darkest Days Rock Star Romance Series.
Want a sneak peek of Noah’s story? Continue reading with an excerpt from Hard Rock Tease >>>
Hard Rock Tease Excerpt
My heart thumped wildly in my chest. I took deep breaths to try and calm myself. It didn't work. I was going to miss my interview with Etude Entertainment. I was going to lose the best chance I had at getting my foot of the door in the music industry.
The building had too many twists and turns. The corridors all looked the same with their eggshell white walls and marble-tiled floors. Rushing around one more corner, I pushed my way through a set of double doors with shaky, clammy hands. I didn't know which way I was going, but I hoped if I continued on I'd at least find someone to ask.
Light strains of music hit my ears the moment the doors swung open. Piano music. Some of my rising anxiety eased. Maybe there was finally someone I could ask for directions.
Following the music down the hall, I found an open door. A quick peek inside showed me a man sitting at a piano. Broad shouldered, black hair, and tall. Even though he was sitting down I could tell when he stood he'd reveal an impressive height. No doubt much taller than me.
I was about to knock on the open doorframe when the man began to hum. Lithe fingers spidered across the keys, a soft, tinkling melody that complimented the humming. Every so often he would stop to make a notation on a piece of paper laid flat on the top of the piano's surface.
Even without words, the man's singing was lovely. Almost sweet and romantic, somehow. The music made my heart swell, touching something inside of me. Such a sad song, yet at the same time hopeful. There was a longing beneath the light humming.
Hard Rock Sin: A Rock Star Romance Page 20
