by Megan Smith
She rushes out, “I have to go.”
“Layla, wait.” I urge not wanting her to leave like this but there is a tap at the window.
Layla curses. “Shit,” before opening the door and quickly shutting it behind her.
I wait a second debating on whether I should get out of the car and explain to her mom why she was late. I turn the radio down trying to hear the conversation happening just outside of my car but I can’t hear anything but muffled sounds.
Layla opens the car door again. “Thank you for the…” she clears her throat. “ride.”
Biting back a smile, I say, “You’re welcome. I’ll see you later.”
She smiles before shutting the door, talking to her mom again as I pull away and watch her out the rearview mirror until I can no longer see her.
When I pull up to my house a sense of loneliness washes over me, it’s too big, too cold. My dad, the asshole that he is, at least made sure that Erin and I have our own houses. I guess by making sure we have the bigger things in life that it makes up for the smaller ones, the important ones to me. He’s so wrong though, so fucking wrong. I know that I’d rather have my dad in my life than to have all the luxuries that he’s giving me. I wanted someone to come to my baseball games, teach me how to work on cars, take me fishing, just do stuff with me; but instead I’m left with a house that’s big enough for two families. Never seemed to bother me in the past but now it’s all I can focus on as I drift off to sleep thinking about Layla…and those legs…and those eyes…and her lips on mine.
Layla
Mrs. Stein tapping on the window of Eli’s car scared the shit out of me. I wasn’t expecting her, although it doesn’t surprise me that she didn’t come out to see who was parked in front of her house. She and my mom go way back to high school, they were great friends until my mom let alcohol and drugs ruin her life. At least she doesn’t have the drug problem anymore but the alcohol is a whole different story. Mrs. Stein has also helped me out a few times with watching Fallon so I didn’t miss school. She loves Fallon almost as much as I do so she’d do anything for her.
“I’m sorry to disturb you, sweetie, but we have a little bit of a problem.” She glances back towards the house and I see Fallon’s sad little face through the glass door. “You’re mom dropped her off about a half hour ago.”
I place a hand on my hip. There goes that sober streak. “Great.” I say, shaking my head in disbelief. “Can you give me just a second?”
A smile graces her face. “Of course.” She says then walks back into the house.
Opening Eli’s car door I stick my head in, “Thank you for the…” I clear my throat. “ride.” I shake my head. That sounded dirty.
Eli bites back a smile. “You’re welcome. I’ll see you later.”
When he pulls away I head into Mrs. Stein’s house to grab Fallon and get her home. She has school in the morning and should already be in bed fast asleep.
Fallon sadly trudges over to me. “I’m sorry, squirt.”
She shrugs her shoulders then slips an arm into her jacket.
“Thank you, Mrs. Stein. I hope it wasn’t too much trouble keeping her.”
She waves her hand dismissively. “Nonsense.”
Fallon walks to the door without saying anything and steps out onto the porch. I wait for the door to shut before asking Mrs. Stein, “Any idea where she went?”
“She wouldn’t tell me anything. She waited for me to come to the door then left before I even had it opened.”
I hate my mother.
“Well, thanks again for keeping Fallon for me.”
“You’re welcome.”
I open the door stepping out. “Layla?”
I turn around. “Yeah?”
“If you need anything I’m always here for you girls, you know that, right?”
I smile at her kindness. “I do, thank you.”
I’d never impose on her or anyone for that matter. Hopefully in just a few more months I might be able to get Fallon and me out from underneath my mother. It’s the only choice I have if I want to become successful in life and give Fallon the life she deserves. And it’s sad knowing that I’m more of a parent to her than our own mother is.
Fallon walks with her head down and doesn’t say a word on the walk home. When we near Jax’s we can hear the music blasting. A few people are standing out front and a guy is leaning up against a telephone pole smoking a cigarette when we walk by. We turn the corner and some guy has a girl pinned up against the side of the building. Fallon squeaks and hurries along while I mutter under my breath to get a room.
The door leading upstairs to our apartment was left cracked open. “Christ.”
I reach for Fallon stepping in front of her so I can go in first in case someone is in the room. I flick the lights on waiting a second before stepping in. I don’t hear anything so I push open the door wider for Fallon to slip in past me. I lock the door and set the deadbolt before taking the steps two at a time. Fallon sits on the couch, legs crossed, rocking back and forth. It’s a tell-tale sign that mom must have went off the deep end before hauling Fallon out so late. It’s not the first time this has happened and it won’t be the last.
I stroll into the kitchen; it’s a mess, drawers opened, and a cup of coffee spilled on the table and dripping on the floor. I leave Fallon to her rocking while I go and change into shorts and a t-shirt. I turn to walk down the hall and notice the door to the closet is open. No one ever goes in there except me because it only holds my stuff.
“Fuck,” I say rushing to the door hoping and praying mom didn’t touch the top shelf.
Every single thing in the closet is sitting in a pile on the floor. The sweatshirt that was hiding the money for the rent and electric bill lies on the floor. I lean down picking it up knowing damn well the money is gone.
“Shit,” I fall to the floor. “No, no, no! She did not do this to me!” I scream as the angry tears spring to my eyes.
I throw the shirt into the closet, kicking the door shut, but it bounces back open with all my stuff in the way. This can’t be happening, that was all the money I had. How the hell am I going to pay for the bills now? They’re due tomorrow, I was spending the morning paying everyone we owe money to and now I’m fucked.
Fallon crawls over and lays her head on my shoulder. “I’m sorry, Layla.”
I pull her onto my lap hugging her close. “Squirt, you didn’t do anything wrong, mommy did.” I squeeze my little sister. “We’ll fix it all tomorrow, okay?”
I try to push all the anger aside, I have to for Fallon. I’m all she’s got in this fucked up world we live in. Fallon begins to cry softly. She knows that what happened is bad, that I’m upset because of it. I don’t normally let her see me get upset but every once in a while it happens and I hate it. Hate that she has to see that. She should be worried about where her favorite Barbie doll is or where she left her shoes when she took them off. But at the end of the day we don’t have the same problems like normal kids do.
The only thing I can do is hold her while she cries and I let a few of my own tears escape. What did I do to deserve this life? Was I that horrible of a mistake? Why did she keep me if this is what she planned to do?
Fallon settles down after a bit. I continue running my fingers through her hair soothing her as her eyes grow heavy. “Let’s get you to bed.”
She nods sitting up and rubbing her sleepy eyes. Fallon climbs into bed while I go into the bathroom to change and wash this make-up off my face. I never should have gone out tonight. I should have stayed here like Fallon wanted me to but I didn’t and look what happened.
I lie down on my bed beside Fallon who’s staring up at the ceiling. I hate seeing her like this. I hate to think of her going to bed being sad and upset. I need something for her to look forward to. “Have you decided what you want for your birthday?”
I want her to think about something happy, something that will make her smile, even if it’s just for a second. “Yes.
”
“Care to tell me what it is?”
She sits up on her little elbows and glances over at me. “Heather,” her friend from school, “got a new pair of earrings. I want a pair, too.”
That’s easy enough and shouldn’t cost a fortune. “What kind of earrings, little ones, ones that dangle?”
“I don’t know.”
I smile. “Earrings it is.”
She cracks a smile, too.
“Goodnight, squirt.”
“Nite, Layla.”
I may not have money for the rent or the electric but I will find money to buy her a pair of earrings for her birthday. She deserves that much.
Knowing that I want to go to bed with a smile on my face also, I turn over facing the wall and bring my fingers up to my lips, smiling, as I think back to the perfect kiss. Eli is turning into my silver lining in this dark cloud that’s hanging over my head.
Eli
Wednesday night Jaylinn and I decide to test our hands with Cooper. It was time that he dove for home plate or took the out. We’re both banking on the home plate. I knew he would be stopping by Fierce tonight; he hasn’t been there in a few days.
I pull in front of Jaylinn’s mom’s house, turn the car off and then make my way to the door and knock. Ms. McCormick lets me in.
“Hello, Eli.” She smiles.
I lean in and kiss her on the cheek. “How’s my favorite lady doing?”
“I’m doing just fine.” Jaylinn calls from somewhere in the house.
I chuckle. “I wasn’t talking about you. I was asking about your mom.”
Jaylinn steps up to the door looking more tempting then she should. She is seriously trying to kill Cooper. “Such the charmer.”
I shrug. “What can I say, I’m good with the ladies.”
“Oh, dear.” Ms. McCormick snickers.
Jaylinn steps out on to the porch laughing. “Let’s go charm the pants off someone your own age.”
I lean forward again placing another kiss on Ms. McCormick’s cheek. “See you later.”
“Be careful.” She calls out to us as we climb into the car.
Jaylinn and I arrive at Fierce after grabbing a few slices of pizza on the way over. We didn’t want to do dinner in case we missed Cooper. I feel like an ass meddling in his relationship but someone has to do it. I’m tired of his miserable shit.
We walk over to bar and order drinks from Layla.
“I’ll take a Corona and Jay wants a Sex on the Beach.” Layla’s face instantly blushes and I can’t keep the smirk off my face when she keeps glancing at my lips. Layla slides me my beer and then puts the Sex on the Beach down on the bar and spills some because she can’t keep her eyes off me.
“You,” Jaylinn taps her nails against her glass. I know what she’s about to say and before she can I walk over to an empty booth and sit down.
Jaylinn sits across from me, her mouth opens and then closes a few times looking like a fish out of water. She glances back over at Layla who is trying to keep her eyes on the task at hand. Jaylinn turns around laughing.
“You—”
“Shut up.” I growl just as Jackie walks past us. I don’t want anyone knowing. I personally don’t care but I’m sure Layla does since she is the one with the boyfriend.
Jaylinn leans across the table and says just loudly enough for me to hear her. “You kissed her. Eli, you fucking kissed her, didn’t you?”
I shrug my shoulder. I’m not about to gossip like some girl. If Layla wants her to know she can tell her the details.
Jaylinn still laughing shakes her head. “I can’t believe it. She didn’t even tell me.” She turns to glance back at Layla but then does a double take. Her wide eyes meet mine. “Cooper’s here.”
All the traces of laughter are long gone now. I sit up and lean forward so that I can see Cooper. He gives me a head nod back towards his office and walks away before I can even nod back to him.
“Shit!” Jaylinn says with a panic to her voice.
I reach over and put my hand over hers. “It’s fine. This is what we wanted remember.”
Tears pool in her eyes. “I know but he’s pissed Eli, like really pissed.”
I offer her a smile although I know it’s not going to help. “At least it’s getting a reaction out of him. It means he still cares.”
She wipes a tear that has fallen. “Right, a reaction is better than no reaction at all.”
I stand from the booth and hold a hand out to Jaylinn. We walk towards Cooper’s office, letting go of her hand I put both hands on my hips acting like he better have a good reason for calling me in here. Jaylinn is cowering behind me like a scared little girl who got caught with her hand in the cookie jar.
“You want to explain what the fuck I just saw?” Cooper seethes.
I cock an eyebrow. He can’t be serious right now. He asks me to practically babysit Jaylinn and now that we are out having a good time he has a problem with it?
“You were kissing my mother fucking girl, Eli!” Cooper spits. “What the fuck? I leave for a few weeks and you swoop in for the fucking kill?” He bangs his fist on the desk before knocking everything off of it in one swoop.
Shit, he thinks that Jaylinn kissed me when she was leaning over the table.
“Fuck!” Cooper charges me. “You fucking promised you wouldn’t ever go after her. I fucking told you shit was complicated between us but you couldn’t help yourself, huh?”
I can’t even get the words out of my mouth. I thought we were better friends than this. How could he really think I’d go after his girl?
Cooper grips my shirt in his hands, ready to lay shit down when Jaylinn wedges her little body between ours and pushes against Cooper’s chest.
“Stop it.” She yells.
Cooper doesn’t even look at her, his eyes trained on me ready to hit me. “You’re going to let her defend you?”
I smirk egging him on. Go ahead, asshole, make yourself look like a bigger ass right now. “You ‘bout done?”
“Oh,” Cooper laughs bitterly. “I’m just getting started, asshole.”
He tries to lunge for me but Jaylinn steps in again pushing against his chest. “What the hell are you talking about? I’m not your damn girl, you gave that right up.”
Good girl, Jay, give him the hell he deserves.
“I saw you.” Cooper yells. “I fucking saw you!”
I huff forcing a laugh. “Whatever you think you saw, you didn’t.” He’s seriously making me doubt our friendship.
“Fuck you! I saw it with my own eyes.” He reaches past Jaylinn and shoves my shoulder. “You kissed her.”
The room grows silent; the only sound is coming from Cooper breathing heavily. I glance to Jaylinn, her body is stone still, I’m not even sure she’s breathing right now. The tension in the room is thick it’s kind of hard to breathe.
I take a step back into his office shaking my head. “I would never do that to you.”
Jaylinn gets her bearings about her and pushes Cooper against the wall. “I can’t believe you would ever think that I could do that to you.” Her nostrils flare. “You can’t stand to see me with anyone else and yet you can’t stand to be with me! It’s one or the other Cooper, you want me or you don’t. You can’t have both. Either stay with me or let me go!” She turns on her heel and storms from the office.
Still shaking my head, “You’re an asshole, you know that, right? She was leaning over the table to whisper something in my ear so no one would hear what she said. You better go after her.” I kick the stapler that’s on the ground. “And just for the record, I would never ever go after someone that is yours. I’m not that guy.”
I feel like an ass because I am doing that to someone but that someone isn’t him and my situation is different. I glance back at him once more before I walk out.
“Well, fuck!” I hear Cooper yell and then something crashes down.
Layla
I’ve been avoiding Eli all week at work since ou
r kiss on Sunday night. It shouldn’t have happened. I’ve got a boyfriend and Eli is my boss. I don’t even know if Eli has a girlfriend, it’s never come up in any of our conversations and I certainly haven’t seen any girls hanging out in the bar waiting on him. He was at the pier that night clearing his head; maybe he was having problems with his girlfriend? Maybe something happened at Fierce and the stress of not having Cooper there is getting to him? I really don’t know, but what I do know is I can’t get that freaking kiss out of my head.
His soft warm lips meeting mine were something I hadn’t experienced with anyone else. I’ve kissed other boys besides Brian and Eli but nothing that affected me like those few moments.
Brian didn’t call me until Tuesday afternoon claiming he was up to his eyeballs with problems at work. I call bullshit. He got a promotion but not a manager’s position so what kind of problem did he really have to deal with at work? I didn’t argue with him, didn’t tell him how pissed off I was that he couldn’t even call me to cancel, to let me know he was alright, not that I really cared though. I simply said I understood and told him I hope he gets everything handled as soon as possible.
“Layla, can I see you in my office for a minute?” Eli asks in passing.
“Ohh...” Jackie teases me. “What did you do?”
Rolling my eyes, I bump into her shoulder. “What don’t I do around here?”
Jackie starts cracking up before I catch on to what I said. My cheeks burn with embarrassment, I know people are probably talking about us with the way we’re always watching out for each other. “Shut up, you know what I mean.”
“Uh, huh.”
My hands start to sweat as I make my way to Eli’s office. I don’t think I’ve done anything wrong that could have warranted me getting called into his office, maybe he just wants to talk about the other night. I leave Jackie by herself since it’s quiet for a Thursday night, well at least for now.
