by Megan Smith
Not one of my finer moments but I trashed the tree house. It’s funny though, Fallon helped. I couldn’t look at it knowing you’d never step foot in it again. Every time I stepped out onto the back deck it was a constant reminder that you were taken from me.
I’m sorry I got mad. All I have left now are our memories and they weren’t enough for me then. I realize now that those are my keepsakes of our relationship and no matter how shitty or demented or happy or sad or fun that they are, those are mine. It’s all I have.
You did one thing right by me, Layla, you taught me to love life no matter what happens. So my promise to you is to live up to that.
I’m not going to say goodbye because this isn’t that. This is just a see you later.
I love you.
Eli
“Mom, I’m home!” I called out when I opened the front door.
“Hi, baby girl. How was school?”
I walked over to my mom and gave her a hug. We shuffled off to the kitchen as we did every day when I got home to make me a snack.
When we walked into the kitchen, my older brothers, Mason and Cooper—the twins—and Jackson were sitting at the table doing homework with the most handsome boy I had ever seen.
“Kenzie, close your mouth.” Jackson said, laughing.
I was standing there staring at him; I couldn’t pry my eyes off of him.
“Shut up!” I said to Jackson. The boy looked up to see me staring at him. He smiled.
I quickly looked over to Mom. She was grinning at me. “What would you like to eat?”
“I’m not hungry.” No way could I eat in front of him. He was causing butterflies in my belly. “Is it okay if Hailey comes over?”
I heard Mason groan and mumble, “Not again.”
“Of course she can,” Mom said while pouring sweet tea into glasses.
I reached for the cordless phone on the kitchen island, called Hailey, and asked her to come over.
I sat and watched TV until I heard Hailey’s mom pull up in the driveway. She walked into the kitchen as if she owned the place but stopped dead in her tracks when she noticed who was sitting at the table. I giggled and ran off to my room with Hailey close on my heels. Once she shut my bedroom door, she turned around and asked, “Umm, Kenzie, who is that at the table?”
“I have no idea. He is cute though, isn’t he?”
“You can say that again. We need to go ask your mom.”
“No way.” I sunk into the chair in front of my vanity.
“He must have just moved here.” Hailey grabbed a brush and began detangling my hair. “I’ve never seen him around school.”
Someone knocked on my door.
“I thought I heard you girls up here.” Mom peeked into the room. “Here is your drink, sweetie. Hello, Hailey, would you like something to drink?”
“No, thanks, Mrs. C. Who is that downstairs, sitting next to Mason?” Leave it to Hailey to come right out and ask.
“That’s Hunter. He just moved here with his mom and sister, Jaylinn.”
“How old is he?” Hailey asked while braiding my hair.
“Oh, he’s thirteen, the same age as the twins.”
Even at thirteen, Hunter had all the girls crazy over him at school. His dark brown hair was almost black. His bright blue eyes, and when he smiled, he had a cute little dimple on his right cheek. All the girls were swooning.
From that day on, I felt drawn to Hunter, and I had a feeling I always would be.
Our families took summer vacations together ever since Hunter’s family moved here. The year we camped in Virginia Beach was the same year a hurricane skirted the coast. Instead of swimming and tanning, we hunkered down from the rain and winds inside the tents and RV. The boys had a bigger tent, and our parents tossed a bunch of games in there. We didn’t want to play any silly kids’ games. Jaylinn and Hailey voted for us to play truth or dare. Hailey chose me to go first, of course.
“Truth or Dare?” Hailey asked me.
I looked at her and smiled, knowing that trouble would find me with either answer. It didn’t matter which one I picked, Hunter would be involved. Hailey was the only person who knew I had a crush on Hunter. Jaylinn might have figured it out, but I had never flat out told her I liked her brother.
“Dare.”
Smirking at me, she said, “Go outside with Hunter and kiss him in the rain.”
All three of my brothers growled in unison. Hunter looked at me with wide eyes while both Hailey and Jaylinn started laughing and giving each other high-fives. I expected something like that from her, but not with my brothers within striking distance.
“No way. Not happening.” Mason said.
Hailey, who was still laughing, looked at Mason and said, “A dare is a dare.”
Hunter reached out for my hand and helped me off the air mattress. Jaylinn opened the tent flap for us so we could get out.
The rain was starting to slow down to just a drizzle. Hunter and I walked out, hands held together, and turned to face each other.
“Ready?” He asked. When I nodded my head, he said, “On the count of three. One.” He took a step closer. “Two.” I took the last step, our bodies just barely touching. “Three.”
Our lips connected, and it felt as if someone shocked me and stole my breath. It was sweet and intoxicating, and I didn’t want it to end. I felt like my brothers had barely let our lips touch before they started making a giant fuss about it.
“Alright man, that’s enough.” Jackson said.
“Dude, that’s my sister. Don’t ever let me see your lips on her again.” Mason said.
“Yeah, or we’re gonna have problems.” Cooper said.
I would remember that kiss always, my first kiss. It might not have meant anything to Hunter, but it meant the world to me.
My teenage hormones were in overdrive and Hunter was a massive problem, screwing with them. Only problem was, I was not on his radar, or, at least, I didn’t think I was. Hunter was going out with girls from our school, and I hated every second of it. I wanted to be the girl who he made out with at the movies. I wanted to be the girl who he took to prom this year. I wanted to be Hunter’s girlfriend.
“You ready to go?” Hailey walked into my room without even knocking, disturbing me from my pity party.
“Yeah, just have to do my makeup.” I grabbed the bag of makeup off my vanity that Mom and I had just bought yesterday.
“You are not wearing makeup, Kenzie. You don’t need that shit.” Cooper said as he stood in the doorway of my room.
“Get out.” I stalked over to the door and tried to shut it, but he blocked it with his foot.
“Dude, what are you doing?” I had heard Hunter’s voice before I had even seen him.
I opened the door and crossed my arms. “I’m trying to shut my door, but jackass here won’t move.”
Cooper glared at me. “Give me the makeup, Kenz, and I’ll leave.”
“No.” I yelled. “Get out.”
“Why the hell is everyone yelling?” Mason asked, standing behind Cooper and Hunter.
“She thinks she’s going out with Hailey dressed like that and wearing that shit on her face.” Cooper answered.
I threw my hands up in the air, walked over to my closet and grabbed my sandals. I wasn’t dressed any differently than I was any other day. I had on a tight fitting tank top and skinny jeans, my normal every day clothes.
Hunter put his hand on Cooper’s shoulder, “Just leave her alone. Come on. Let’s go down to the baseball field.”
“Nah, not until she gives me that shit.”
“Oh my God, would you guys knock it off? We’re only going to the movies. What’s the freaking deal?” Hailey asked.
Mason eyed Hailey then me and said, “Fine, but we are going with you.” Then he walked away and Cooper followed him.
Hunter looked at the bag of makeup and then eyed me. “You don’t need that shit. You’re beautiful just the way you are.”
My breath
caught; I didn’t know what to say, so I didn’t say anything. Hunter tipped his head and followed Cooper and Mason. He had never called me that before. I didn’t think I was beautiful, average, sure. I was shorter than a lot of the kids in my school, and even at fifteen, I was curvier than most of the girls. I had long, dark chocolate hair that cascaded down my back, eyes the color of the blue sky and pale skin dotted with freckles due to my Irish blood.
“Not on his radar, my ass.” Hailey said, laughing at me. I’m sure I was bright red.
At the end of that summer, Hunter left for Old Dominion University in Norfolk, Virginia. The day he left was awful; all I did was cry all day long. Hunter stopped over and said goodbye to me after packing up, which only made me cry more. I was going to miss seeing him every day, and secretly, I think he was going to miss me too.
When Hunter came back from school that year, I realized how enamored of him I had become. The day he came home for summer break, I was standing in the kitchen at my parents’ shore house, making a sandwich. Hunter walked through the door, and I nearly cut my fingers off when I caught sight of him. He was…so sexy. He seemed to have grown taller, and obviously, he worked out more. His shirt stretched tight across his broad shoulders, his sleeves pulled tight around his biceps. His hair was slightly longer than normal, and it had that sexy just rolled out of bed look.
He walked in and reached over my head, grabbing a glass out of the cabinet. I glanced over just as his shirt rode up slightly, revealing some kind of script tattoo. There was a star on his right elbow and skulls with flames covered his left arm.
After he grabbed the glass and filled it with water from the fridge, he came over and kissed the side of my head. “Hey, CC.”
“Those tats look good on you.” I said, trying to keep my voice mild and even.
He grabbed a few chips from the bag I had left open on the counter. “I have more.” He pulled his shirt over his head and tossed it on the counter. I almost fainted. His tan, muscular abs begged me to reach out and touch them. On his left side, starting under his arm, down his ribs and ending on his hip, in script read Live Today As If You’ll Die Tomorrow. On his lower stomach, stretching from hip to hip, in the same script read No Regrets. I lifted my eyebrows and smirked at him; he smiled, shrugged his shoulders and turned around to show me a Celtic cross that took up most of his back.
“A friend of mine is working as an apprentice at a tattoo shop down by my house at school.” Hunter explained.
“I like them.” I padded over and grabbed the towel folded over the back of the kitchen chair. “I’ll see you later; I’m going down to the beach.” It was getting hot in here; I needed to stay away before I started pawing him.
Later that night, everyone was getting ready to go out to eat, but I didn’t want to go. I wanted to spend some alone time with Hunter. After talking to Hailey for a while, I decided I was finally going to tell him how I felt; I had to see if he had any feelings for me. I couldn’t keep torturing myself like this.
I told my mom that I was going to stay home because I had an upset stomach. Hunter, always so quick to look out for me, told her he would stay home and would make sure I was okay. He did exactly as I thought he would do.
After everyone had left, I went upstairs into my room. I was lying on my bed when Hunter walked in, carrying a glass of ginger ale and some crackers.
“You should try to eat and drink this.” He walked around my bed and put the stuff on the nightstand next to my bed.
“There’s nothing wrong with me. I just didn’t feel like going.” I patted the bed next to me for him to come and sit. He didn’t come over at first. He just stared at me, contemplating what he should do.
“It’s probably not a good idea that I’m in here with you.” Hunter said this as he sat down.
“Probably not, but no one is here.” I sat up so my body was facing him, my knee touching his hip. He had a peevish look on his face. I reached over and slightly pushed his shoulder back to angle his body towards mine. I drifted closer to him, like a moth drawn to light and planted my lips on his.
When our lips melted together, I swear fireworks were going off somewhere in the distance. Hunter reached up with his left hand, and put it behind my neck, bringing me a little closer to him. He moved his right hand to my hip and started to lay me back on the bed. He hovered over the top half of my body. Then suddenly, it was as if someone pulled him off me. He was up pacing the room and raking his hand through his hair.
Shocked by the sudden change, I asked, “What’s the matter?”
He stopped pacing and had a sorrowful look on his face. He started pacing again, and then he finally said, “That shouldn’t have happened.”
“Hunter, you’ve known I’ve had feelings for you all these years. Why is it such a big deal?”
“You’re brothers would freak the fuck out. Don’t you remember how they acted the last time we kissed?” He made it sound as if that should answer all my questions.
I got up off the bed, straightened my shirt and walked in front of him, causing him to look at me. “Well, they’ll just have to get over it.” I took a deep breath—here goes nothing. “I want you, Hunter.”
His eyes went wide, “What! Fuck!” He was shaking his head back and forth. “No, this isn’t happening. You can’t. You fucking can’t. You deserve someone better than me.”
The seduction was not going as planned.
“I have to go.” He announced and then, he was gone. When he walked away from me that day, a piece of my heart went with him. At least now, I had my answer even if it crushed me.
After that night in my room, Hunter acted as if it never happened. He was back to flirting with me but made sure we were never alone together. I was still hurt with the way things went down, but I guess I had to take what I could get from him.
When Hailey, Jaylinn and I went back to school that year, I started dating Dominic, whom I have known since kindergarten. Dominic was the exact opposite of Hunter; he was exactly what I needed, a distraction. He was shorter than Hunter, with a thin frame, shaggy blonde hair and honey brown eyes. He was always sweet, caring, and lovable, everything I wanted in a boyfriend. Dominic was the quarterback on our football team at school. All the girls wanted him, but he only had eyes for me.
When my brothers and Hunter came home for Thanksgiving weekend, they met Dominic since I had invited him for dinner. Dominic stood up to my brothers when they threatened him about dating me. Dominic never backed down from their threats though, as most guys would have.
Hunter hated Dominic. Anytime he saw us together, he would glare at Dominic and leave the room. When Dominic was not around, Hunter would flirt like crazy with me. I loved those times, but all Hunter would give me was just flirting. That is why I chose to stay with Dominic.
First of all, I have to thank my husband. Late last year, I decided I wanted to quit my job and become a full time writer. I was nervous because I had been with my job for eleven years. He stood behind my decision and I can’t thank him enough for being there for me.
Second of all, my son is owed a huge thank you. Every day I wake up and you do something that amazes me. I love you unconditionally.
Elaine, what would I do without you? Thank you for being there to listen to me rant and rave about things, to bounce ideas off and you never judge me. It’s an honor to call you a true friend.
Jen Bradley and Danita Bunce, I don’t think I’d be able to function without your daily help. It’s hard to find people you can trust these days who will have your back and always support your work and always be willing to help me out when I need it. I seriously love you girls, thank you for everything!
Heather Davenport, my go to girl, I’m so glad our friendship has grown to what it is now. We can talk to each other about anything and everything and we keep it real. Thank you for all your promotional support as well; I couldn’t do that part without you.
Marissa Carmel, thank you for coming with me to the photo shoot and helping
me pick the photo to use because I couldn’t make up my damn mind!!!
Tyler Gattuso, thank you for the perfect shoot. It was a pleasure to work with you.
Larry Hamilton, thank you for capturing the perfect picture of Tyler. It was a pleasure to work with you.
Jennifer Wolfel, thank you for all your help and suggestions with this book! You’re always there for me when I need you and that’s hard to find these days.
Brandy Raub, Kimberly Cote, Meghan Anderson, Jolene Obrien and Allie Worthington, thank you all for being great beta readers! You’re honest and opinions didn’t go unheard!!
Michelle Kemper, I can’t thank you enough for the help with my blurb.
Natalie Catalano with Love Between The Sheets, thank you for helping me with my release blitz!
To the girls in my street team, remember on November 4, 2014, I asked you a question and said would you listen to your heart or your head? Well, you’ve got your outcome. I went with the heart. I sat here for a few hours talking with a few friends and knew I had to go with it. Once you get that flutter in your stomach you can’t let it go. I know at the time you girls had no idea what I was talking about that night but it was the death scene with Layla. I probably should have listened to my head, huh? Thank you girls for all you help with promotions!!!
To all the bloggers that have and will help me with this book THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart!!!
And last, but never least, THANK YOU to all my readers! I wouldn’t be where I am without you.
USA TODAY bestselling author Megan Smith is a New Jersey native who creates the memorable characters her fans have grown to adore.
Smith is a wife and mother, who makes time for her family, professional life and the creation of the characters. Fans of The Love Series - Trying Not To Love You, Easy To Love You, Hard To Love You, Let Me Love You, A Christmas To Love You - are captivated by relationships, special bonds and family ties pervasive in Smith's emotional, energized and engaging work.
