Leaving Lana'i

by Edie Claire

  Maddie tried not to grin as she pretended not to listen. There was something about Pidgin that made outsiders think whatever comments they couldn’t understand must necessarily be crass or rude. Pidgin could be crass and rude, but it could also be anything else anyone wanted to say. It was no different from any other language whose sole purpose was social communication. In this case, communication about what awful parents such-and-such neighbors were because they fed their four-month-old baby ice cream from a spoon.

  Maddie’s eyes strayed back to the beach. Why hadn’t Gloria and Kai joined her yet? Surely they weren’t just going to stand around all morning?

  She spotted them and understood the delay. They had met up with friends. The tallest one looked like Kenny Nakama, but she didn’t recognize either of the other two guys, at least not from this distance. She dropped her gaze back down to look for another yellow fish. Whoever the newcomers were, if they wanted to say hello to her, they could come in the water.

  She was busy.

  “Riku…”

  Maddie stiffened. The couple with the baby had seen the same group of people on the beach, and now they were talking about Kai’s cousin. Keeping her head down, Maddie moved slightly closer. She couldn’t catch much from the woman, but she did note her use of the word lolo, which meant foolish or crazy and which appeared to be lobbed at Riku’s AWOL wife. But the man’s words were clearer, and they made Maddie smile. Loosely translated, his response to the woman’s spiel was, “Kai Nakama will help him. He’s smart as they come, and he’s a good guy. The best.”

  Maddie was still smiling as she moved off down the beach out of earshot, her conscience having finally caught up to her. Listening in on random conversations between strangers on Maui was one thing, but sooner or later, here on Lana'i, she would get herself into trouble. For all she knew, she could run into this very couple over at Nana’s this afternoon.

  She waded into knee-high water and turned to look for dolphins at the mouth of the bay. They weren’t terribly hard to spot if they were in the mood to play — spinner dolphins were born acrobats and loved to leap. But even if they weren’t feeling quite so frisky, they showed their presence with random little spouts and splashes and the occasional dark back or fin arcing out of the water. Maddie stared hard, but could see no activity. The dolphins traveled in pods; either they were around or they weren’t.

  “Looking for whales?”

  Maddie sighed to herself. She did not need to lower her eyes from the horizon to know that the voice she heard had most likely come from the same middle-aged man who’d been circling her like a great white shark ever since she hit the water. She’d been hoping he was one of the “admire from afar” types who wouldn’t actually approach her. Or perhaps he had a woman waiting for him on the beach somewhere already, but was merely bored. At least the latter was still possible.

  Realizing that her shirt was plastered to her torso, she made as subtle an effort as possible to grab the hem and release it with a shake. Drat. She’d lost her ponytail band as well. “No whales, no dolphins,” she replied in a practiced tone. Not rude, but not overly friendly, either. If the man really did want to talk, as opposed to flirt, he should be open to academic conversation. “But the coral reefs here are lovely. You can see tangs and parrotfish even without snorkeling gear.”

  “Are you a model?”

  Maddie gave up. She was trying to decide whether to exit the conversation via land or water when she realized that Kai and the others had begun to walk toward her. She smiled broadly. “Yo, guys!” she called loudly, waving a hand above her head. “You going to get wet, or what?”

  Kai smiled and waved back to her, as did Kenny. She still didn’t recognize the other two men, although she noticed that Gloria was tagging along closely with the skinnier of the two. The other guy was quite heavy. All were in their twenties. Maddie looked over her shoulder and chuckled to herself as “great white” melted back into the ocean.

  Maddie waded deeper into the water, deciding to make the crowd come to her. As they neared, the heavier of the two new guys began to look familiar.

  “Yo, Maddie!” Kenny cried loudly, flinging himself into the waves so as to create the largest, messiest splash possible. He always had been a goofball. “What happened to your haole friend?”

  “He was scared of you,” Maddie said with a grin. “But not of me. Imagine that.”

  Kenny laughed. “Fool! I’m afraid of you!”

  “Thank you,” Maddie replied.

  The others soon joined them in the water. “You remember Sam?” Kenny asked, nodding his head to the heavy guy.

  Maddie turned and looked closer. “Sammy?”

  Holy crap! The boy had practically been her nemesis. He was the only kid her age who had been both taller and bulkier than she was, and he had always despised her. He’d started on day one giving her the typical “haole girl” grief, but unlike most of the others, he’d never let up. The two of them had never actually rolled around in the dirt trading punches, but she never doubted for a moment that he would like to, if circumstances were different. But besides her own strength and tendency to fight dirty, Maddie had one thing going for her that Sammy couldn’t get around. Too many of his guy friends, including Kai and Kenny, liked her just fine.

  “You’re in trouble now, brah!” Kenny squealed. “She does remember you!”

  Maddie watched in shock as the once-jeering face before her cringed with embarrassment. “Aw, man,” he said sheepishly, unable to meet her eyes.

  Are you freakin’ kidding me? Maddie did a double take. Yes, it was the same Sammy. Fifteen years later he’d wound up exactly the same height as she was. But while she had slimmed down, he’d packed on the pounds till his face was hardly recognizable. Even less recognizable was his attitude. Sheepish? Shy? Sammy?

  “Why’s he in trouble?” Gloria piped up suddenly. She had been hanging back looking bored, but now her interest was piqued. “What did he do?”

  Kenny merely laughed. The last unknown member of the group, who looked a lot like Kenny and who Maddie suspected was his younger brother, looked as confused as Gloria.

  “I was kind of an ass,” Sammy said in a low voice, still hanging his head. He couldn’t seem to look at her, but the ghost of a smile on his face made him look childishly hopeful. “Sorry about that.”

  Maddie could swear the guy was sincere. She threw a “what the hell?” look at Kai, who had been standing silently in the water throughout the exchange, and he lifted his shoulders with a shrug. Kai had always been big on wordless shrugs, and as Maddie stood there watching him it occurred to her that despite a fifteen-year hiatus she could read his body language as easily as the day she had left Lana'i. Which, if you thought about it, was pretty darn cool. Translation: Seems legit to me.

  Maddie felt an urge to shake herself. The scene was surreal. Here she was, standing chest deep in beautiful Hulopo'e Bay with a blue sky above, a balmy breeze ruffling her hair, her oldest and once-dearest friend back at her side, and yellow tangs darting around her legs — and Sammy “the cyclone” Santos was apologizing to her for being an ass.

  Life didn’t get any better than this.

  “Apology accepted,” she said with a smile.

  Sammy’s brown eyes twinkled as he responded with something halfway between a grin and a smirk.

  “Group hug!” Kenny yelled.

  Maddie dove underwater. She reemerged a few feet away between Gloria and the new guy, who nodded at her and introduced himself. He looked older than Gloria, but still several years younger than Kenny or herself. “I’m Dan. Kenny’s brother. You wouldn’t remember me, but I kind of remember you.”

  “He says you were a beast on the Tarzan trees,” Gloria chipped in.

  The older guys all laughed, and Maddie grinned smugly. “I,” she proclaimed, looking back at them, “was the undisputed king of the Tarzan trees, and don’t any of you losers forget it!”

  The guys all cracked up again, and Kenny bowed with
his arms extended in homage. The “Tarzan trees” were banyan trees covered with long, strong vines that had grown on the hill behind the historic Hotel Lana'i, at the opposite end of the park from the school. At least, most of the vines had been strong — strong enough to let a grade-schooler swing a good distance without falling and breaking something. When it worked, it was tremendous fun, and Maddie had loved it. The old men told her they could hear her Tarzan yells from all the way down on the bench. She was always Tarzan. Woe be unto anyone who called her Jane.

  “She was a beast, man,” Kenny continued playfully, talking to his brother. “Not just on the trees, either. She nearly threw me off the cliff into Shark’s Cove one time.”

  “Oh, I did not,” Maddie argued. “You were always nearly falling off of cliffs.”

  “So were you!” Kenny argued back.

  “It’s a miracle either one of you lived to adulthood,” Kai said wryly.

  “Who’s an adult?” Kenny teased, splashing him.

  “Good point,” Kai returned.

  “Hey,” Sammy said to Kai, “I haven’t seen you out here since forever, man. You going to catch us some fish?”

  “Yeah, man!” Kenny agreed. “We’ll have us a barbecue, just like old times!”

  Maddie’s heart leapt with joy at the mere mention. They used to build the most wonderful cooking fires, made with sticks gathered from the nearby mesquite trees. The alternately raw or charred fish was never that great, but she loved the smell of the smoke. And the thrill of being able to fend for themselves for the day. Or rather — letting Kai fend for them.

  “Hey,” Kai protested lightly, “if you people haven’t learned how to feed yourselves by now, it’s not my problem!”

  Kenny laughed. “Aw, but you were so good at fishing, brah!”

  Maddie treaded water and enjoyed the irony as a particularly large parrotfish swam a few feet behind Kenny and Sam without their noticing. They’d been every bit as lousy at spearfishing as she had been. Too restless, too loud, too impatient. It was always Kai who’d been the master. They would hitch a ride to the beach on a Saturday morning, sometimes just her and Kai, sometimes a half dozen kids or more, and everybody else would splash around and goof off while Kai caught enough lunch for everybody. They weren’t supposed to spearfish in the reserve, of course, but as local children with every intention of consuming their spoils they felt entitled to an exemption, and no one ever bothered them about it. Maddie herself preferred to hunt for the local variety of lobster, which conveniently had no pincers and required more quickness to catch than patience. She rarely caught sight of one, however, no doubt because the creatures weren’t dumb enough to show themselves in her obvious presence.

  “Maybe we could sneak into the pool!” Sammy jested.

  They all laughed, including Maddie, even as the memory gave her a sharp pang of melancholy. She shot a glance at Kai, knowing that the memory bothered him too, although for a different reason. Kai had always been both naturally cautious and a deep thinker, and whenever he disapproved of something the other kids were doing — like when Maddie attempted a particularly stupid leap off the Tarzan trees — she always knew, even if he didn’t say anything. She knew because he got a tiny furrow right between his eyebrows.

  He had it now. Even as he smiled.

  Kai had never wanted to sneak into the pool.

  The resort had been sold and completely remodeled since they were kids, and Maddie was sure the pool was magnificent now, but even back then, it was a thing of beauty. So pristine and clear… such a fabulous fantasy of a play place… and with such a view! Of course no child could resist it. Of course it was reserved for guests only. And of course that didn’t stop any of them.

  Except Kai.

  Kai, much to Maddie’s annoyance, had always been the moral compass of the universe. He didn’t see why they wanted to sneak in the pool and risk the embarrassment of getting publicly thrown out when the ocean was… well, the ocean. He thought they were being stupid and he wanted no part in it, and no amount of peer pressure could make him change his mind. Kai could reason away the no-fishing sign, and he even turned a blind eye when the other kids sneaked toilet paper out of the restrooms to help kindle their cooking fire, but he would not sneak into the pool.

  So Maddie had sneaked in without him. Many times. And in all those years of keeping watch and laughing and screaming and making quick retreats and dodging close calls, they had only technically gotten caught once. That was the time the manager on duty had locked all the gates before calling them out one by one and threatening to fine their parents if he ever caught them there again. It was also one of the most mortifying days of Maddie’s life. Because while every other kid in the group had gotten yelled at and thrown out, the manager had looked Maddie right in the eyes — and then looked the other way. And it wasn’t because her father worked for the resort. All of them had parents who worked for the resort. He had let her stay in the pool because she was a haole.

  Maddie’s gaze found Sammy’s. He’d been a spiteful little jerk, but that didn’t mean his resentment of her was entirely without cause. As his dark eyes looked back at hers without any strong sentiment one way or the other — except, perhaps, the usual involuntary male appreciation — she appreciated his willingness to forget the childhood baggage and move on. “Nah,” she said loudly, smiling back at him. “Screw the pool. The ocean’s better. I miss my waves.” She picked her feet up again, drew in a full breath, and floated on her back.

  She looked up, watching gulls and the occasional fluff of cloud move across the sky above. Ocean water covered her ears on and off as her head bobbed, blurring the words of the others’ conversation into muted blips. For several long, blissful moments, Maddie felt as if time were standing still. She was back on the islands and back in the ocean doing nothing more than enjoying life and the planet. She had a group of friends to enjoy it with, and her best bud Kai was at her side. She was officially at one with the universe. She had come full circle; she was a kid again. Life was good.

  “Yo, Maddie!”

  Kenny’s call jerked her rudely back to reality. She turned to find all four guys staring with various levels of surreptitiousness at her chest, which by necessity when floating on one’s back was visible above the surface.

  Crap. So much for being a kid again.

  Maddie put her feet down and stood up. “What?”

  “Sammy wants to know why you came back to Lana'i now, after you’d been gone so long. Like, did you really just show up, without even, like, talking to Nana or anybody at all since you left?”

  Maddie resisted an urge to look at Kai. She had to stop blaming his non-response to her letter for her own failure to keep in contact with anyone else. She should have pressed her father harder, made her grandparents understand that it wasn’t just her friends at school that she was missing. Instead she had accepted vague redirections like “you need to concentrate on making new friends here.”

  Why couldn’t she explain herself back then? Surely her father must have understood, even if her grandparents did not, that her feelings for her second family could not just be erased. Nana had raised her, dammit!

  “Maddie!” Kenny prompted again, splashing her in the face.

  She splashed him back with twice the volume. “I just showed up,” she answered. “I thought it would be more fun to freak everybody out. Worked on you.”

  Kenny cackled, and in her peripheral vision, Maddie noticed Gloria grinning at Kai, though there was nothing about Kai’s neutral expression that would seem to warrant it.

  “Besides,” Maddie continued lightly, suspicious that she was missing something, “it’s fun going around incognito, eavesdropping on people who think I can’t understand Pidgin.”

  “Nah, man!” Kenny protested good-naturedly. “That’s not right.”

  Maddie smirked, having no intention of confessing her loss of skill. She had always liked Kenny, but she had never completely trusted him. He was a good-hearted s
oul overall, but he lacked something in the empathy department, as evidenced by his shameless flirting with Maddie despite the existence of an almost-fiance somewhere.

  “I can’t get away with it forever, though,” Maddie laughed, thinking of the couple with the baby and how likely she was to meet up with them again. “I keep forgetting how small Lana'i City is. Twice now I’ve stopped and stared at my old house, and of course the people living there now have no idea who I am and think I’m some psycho stalker tourist. And you know some day Nana’s bound to introduce us!”

  “You went back to your house?” Sammy asked incredulously.

  Maddie stared at him. As little as he’d said to her so far, this seemed like an odd time to jump in. “Well, sure. Why not?”

  His dark eyes widened. He blinked at her. “Well, it’s just, I mean… I’m surprised you’d want to, that’s all. After what happened with your mother and everything.”

  Maddie was confused. Her mother?

  Of course her mother’s death at such a young age was a tragedy. But what did that have to do with Maddie’s memories of her childhood home?

  Kenny had gone oddly quiet. So had Dan and Gloria. Maddie shot a questioning look at Kai.

  He looked horrified.

  Chapter 16

  Maddie was baffled. “Oh,” she said finally. “You mean, because she died there?”

  The temperature of the ocean seemed to have dropped a few degrees. All of the others stood stone-faced. As if they were afraid to speak. Afraid, even, to move.

  Maddie struggled to clarify. “I guess I can see why you’d think it would be upsetting, but I don’t have any memories of… that particular event. The memories I have of my mother in our house are all happy ones.”