Mom blinked and then reached out to cup my cheek. “I can’t make this decision for you, but I can tell you that I like Bryce. He’s a wonderful man, and the best damn doctor I’ve had since my body decided to go haywire. From what I can see, he makes you very happy, but do you want a future with him?”
“I-I don’t know.” I liked him a lot, too, but was it enough?
“Well, then, close your eyes and picture that same possible future, but with someone else. You said before you knew how Sam felt but you didn’t feel the same. Do you now? Do you picture yourself with him or are you just scared that if you don’t choose him you’ll lose him altogether?”
I popped my eyes back open and stared at her in wonderment. She’d summed it all up in a matter of minutes. “That’s my biggest fear—losing him,” I admitted. “But I know it can’t be the deciding factor.”
She brought my hand up to her lips, kissed my palm and then rested it against her cheek. “Do you love him?” she asked.
Over the course of the weekend, my thoughts had been a muddled mess, my visions so unclear. I’d tried to do exactly what she just said—close my eyes and picture the future I dreamed of. The problem was, the images were fuzzy. Was it Bryce? Was it Sam? I couldn’t make out the who no matter how hard I strained my eyesight or explored my heart.
Now that it was in front of me, now that I’d talked it out, searched my soul, and had Mom’s insight—the vision was becoming more vivid. “I think I—”
“Sorry about that,” Bryce opened the door and cut my words short. “One of the nurses needed me to sign off on discharge papers.”
Mom’s lungs deflated and my heart pounded so thunderously I could barely make out what he said. “Where’s Sam?” I looked past Bryce but couldn’t ignore the tick of his jaw at the mention of his name.
He walked closer to the bed, summoning me to stand and go to him. “He told me to tell you he had to go and he’ll touch base later. He got a call from the realtor; seemed like he was in a rush.”
The tips of my ears tingled at the thought of Sam with Patricia again. I thought Bryce might’ve noticed my reaction by the way he narrowed his eyes. But I was certain he had when he closed the distance between us and pulled me against him, speaking so only I could hear. “I tried to get him to change his appointment but he flew out of here before we could discuss it any further. In fact, why don’t you let Ella rest for an hour and come down to my office with me so we can talk some more. Maybe you and I can even try to reach Memphis together.”
It didn’t like not knowing why Sam left so suddenly. That wasn’t like him. But maybe something happened with the contracts for the house. Yeah, that had to be it. Either way, Bryce made it clear that he didn’t want to rush into the surgery before getting in touch with Memphis. Sam wasn’t exactly leaving me and Mom in a lurch. He was following doctor’s orders and dealing with his own non-London issues. The world didn’t revolve around me. I only hoped he wasn’t hurt by Bryce’s insistence on waiting. I’d give him a call as soon I was done in Bryce’s office.
I looked over to Mom, who was doing the most amazing job of not meddling when I was sure she had so many questions, so many things to say. I’d left her hanging, and just glancing at the way her hands fidgeted feverishly in her lap, I could tell it was taking everything she had not to jump out of that bed and kick Bryce out of here so we had a few more minutes alone. But patient and understanding as always, she remained quiet and let me do my thing.
“Get some rest,” I said to her. “I’ll be back in an hour, tops. We’re going to try to get in touch with Memphis, okay?”
“Sounds good.” She nodded her head and looked past me to Bryce. “Everything’s okay with Sam?”
“Of course. Why wouldn’t it be?” Bryce smiled through a slight chuckle.
Mom gauged the two of us together and reached over to pick up her coffee from the table where Sam left it. “Just doing my job,” she said before taking a sip and dismissing us to catch the last five minutes of her soap.
I laughed against Bryce’s side, knowing that was Mom’s way of reminding me there was a lot to sort out before I made a hasty decision.
BRYCE HELD MY hand as he guided me to his office. He spoke softly on his cell, following up with another patient as we navigated the hospital hallways.
My eyes darted around as we walked, searching for Sam at first until I finally convinced myself that my efforts were ridiculous. He left—to be with her. It was childish to be annoyed by his absence, to presume he’d rather be there than here. But a small part of me believed Sam made an excuse to get the hell out of Dodge because he wasn’t happy with the way Bryce dismissed him.
Maybe he did leave and made an excuse to spite me. Maybe an issue with the new house did come up after all. Maybe I was overthinking things because that green-eyed monster finally sank its teeth into my marrow with no intent to ever release me.
Either way, I was still on edge—about everything—and Bryce’s fingers tangled with mine no longer calmed me. Now his touch fueled me with more tension, more confusion, more indecisiveness.
We arrived at his office and he ushered me inside. Closing the door behind me, he motioned for me to take a seat at his desk. I did, and he came around to sit in the upholstered leather chair on the opposite side.
Facing me, he smiled and then folded his hands atop the mahogany surface that was neatly organized with what I imagined were patient files and all sorts of hospital documents. He took a deep breath as if clearing his head, and then pulled a pen from a fancy crystal tumbler and grabbed a notepad from inside a drawer at his lap.
“Give me your brother’s info, all of the possible numbers and emails where you think we can reach him.” Pen in hand, his attention was focused on the blank paper as he waited for me to respond.
I sighed and gripped the arms of my chair. “I think Sam is right. We’re wasting our time.”
The hand in which Bryce held the pen fell to the desk and his eyes met mine. There was a glimmer of displeasure, but then his features softened and one corner of his mouth turned up in a gentle grin. “London, I know you’re eager to help your mother, but I really think we should—”
“Bryce,” I interrupted, closing my eyes and pausing for a beat before opening them again. “What Sam said back there—he was probably right. Memphis is unreliable and for whatever reason, he’s chosen to ignore us. I don’t know why, but either way, I don’t want to upset my mother right now. We have a match. Let’s work with what’s in front of us and get this done. I’ll call Sam and tell him to come back as soon as he’s finished with the realtor. We’ll work it all out and get the paperwork squared away so we can move on and get my mother what she needs.” I reached into my bag to grab my cell, but Bryce was out of his seat and around the desk so fast I never had a chance to pull it out.
“Baby, please.” He sat on the desk and leaned forward to still my hands with his. “In my professional opinion, I’m telling you that this is for the best. Let me at least try. If Memphis gets the message that your mother’s doctor is trying to reach him, maybe he’ll finally take it seriously.”
“He should be taking me seriously.” Through clenched teeth and a drumming pulse reverberating in my ears, I tried not to lose it. Not because Bryce was being pushy—it was his job to convince me to make the best decision for my mother—but because Memphis wasn’t even here yet and he was screwing everything up.
Tears burned the backs of my eyes, nose, and throat. I held them at bay by clamping my lids shut, but every emotion of the last year, plus so many I’d kept repressed, were coming to a head and I couldn’t contain them any longer.
“Please don’t cry, beautiful.” Bryce kissed my temple and cradled my head in his hands.
I wept into his chest, frustrated that it had come to this. Once again I was weak, unraveling, out of control, and before I could reign in any of my emotions, Bryce was kissing me.
At first, I tried to resist. This wasn’t the time, even
if it was a way to lose myself and simply feel. But before long, Bryce’s lips coaxed me to surrender and his tongue invaded my mouth, imploring me to give in to what he knew I needed.
An escape from reality.
Bryce had been that escape from the moment I collided with him outside my mother’s hospital room. It was almost as if he’d been sent to me with that sole purpose in mind. In a reality filled with so much anguish, he helped me forget and taught me to let go.
My body would not allow me to overlook that. It knew what he could do; that he had the power to override my brain by taking control of the rest of me.
I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him closer. Breathy moans and husky growls permeated the small space as hands and fingers and limbs flailed about. Without really knowing when or how, Bryce tugged me off the chair and bent me over his desk. In a matter of seconds, my shorts and panties were down around my ankles. Bryce folded over me and took me hard and fast from behind.
He whispered into my ear as he thrust into me. “I know what you need. Let me give you what you need.” It was as if he’d read my mind.
But it didn’t provide the comfort—the escape—I expected because he was too rough, too determined.
“Bryce,” I called out, craning my neck to garner his attention. His strong hand pressed down on my back as if admonishing me to stay in place.
There had been a time or two in the past when sex got a little more intense than usual. Bryce was a domineering man and I often enjoyed the push and pull that came with submitting to him. It was a thrill.
This was different.
The vigorous pace at which he hammered into me was frenzied and forceful. His fingers dug into my waist, pulling me against him with each deep plunge. His words were repetitive grunts, switching between Let me give you what you need and Tell me that you’re mine, and what normally drove me wild and made me beg for more began to frighten me.
“Bryce. Please, slow down. You’re hurting me.”
At that, he stilled. His tight hold loosened around my hips and he jerked out of me, leaving me breathless. I was too ashamed to turn around and face him so I rested my forehead against the desk and closed my eyes.
He fumbled behind me. I was pretty sure he finished himself off with his hand because he let out a soft growl and then zipped up his pants.
Vulnerable in this position, I reached down to pull my clothes up my trembling legs but Bryce’s large hands covered mine to aid me.
“I got it,” I snapped.
“Please. Let me.” His tone was gentle, nothing like his actions of moments ago. I still hadn’t looked at him, but I could feel his eyes on me, waiting for a response.
I released the breath trapped in my lungs and relented. He pulled my panties and shorts over my thighs and then caged me between his body and the desk.
Bringing his hands to my face, he cupped my cheeks and turned my face to his. No longer dilated, his caramel eyes apologized before he could even say the words. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you. I get so carried away with you, beautiful.”
I was sure he hadn’t meant to, but I needed to understand why. Something told me it had to do with Sam, but then again, maybe my guilty conscience was making excuses for him. Who knew what admitting that might do to him, so I remained silent and waited for more. I was still too shaken to speak.
“I need you to understand that I want what’s best for Ella because what’s best for her is ultimately what’s best for you, too.”
My eyes narrowed and I tilted my head. Bryce was crossing a boundary, and weak as I might have seemed to him, I needed to stand my ground. “So, that’s what this is about? You want to fuck me into taking your advice? Just because I sometimes submit to you in the bedroom, it doesn’t mean I need to adhere to your every suggestion outside of it.”
A man in his position was used to getting his way, to having people follow his instruction, but I wasn’t his patient. I was his girlfriend, and in this moment I started to second guess that, too.
“I think I should go.” I tried to push past him, but he grabbed my arm before I could escape.
“London, you’ve got the wrong idea. It’s not like that. I didn’t mean anything by it.”
I spun around and pulled my arm from his grip. “Then why are you acting so . . . possessive? What really happened between you and Sam outside my mother’s room, because you’ve been different ever since. Does this have anything to do with him?”
“This has nothing to do with him and everything to do with us.” He pulled me against his chest and gazed into my eyes with purpose. “I told you I was falling in love with you, but I’ve already fallen so fucking hard. I love you, London. You mean more to me than anything in this world. I want to do everything in my power to prove that to you, to make all your pain go away and to be the hero both you and your mother need.”
As much as I hoped to, I couldn’t reciprocate those words. Not yet. Not now. Until this very moment, my feelings for Bryce had not wavered. In my heart, I was certain they would one day grow into an everlasting love. But right now, the jealousy in his actions overshadowed everything else. This entire scenario was a power trip gone wrong and I couldn’t allow him to manipulate me, not if he ever expected me to love him back.
“Bryce, let go of my arms and let me go. I need to clear my head.”
“Clear your head?” He laughed through his nose. “I just told you I love you. That’s your response?”
The broken and helpless London from not too long ago might’ve given in and stayed to hear him out, but a flashback of his reckless driving after the carnival in addition to the way he just tethered me to the desk with his unrelenting force cautioned me that things could get dangerous if he didn’t get his way.
Calming myself, I steadied my breathing and met his eyes. “A lot has happened today and I need time to think about it.”
“What does that even mean?”
“It means exactly what I said, Bryce!” I was agitated and he still wasn’t letting go. I slapped my hands against his chest and that finally got his attention.
Raising his hands in the air, he backed away to set me free but turned to follow me as I grabbed my purse and headed for the door. “Please don’t go. Not like this. I really didn’t mean to upset you.”
“But you did.” As I reached for the doorknob, I paused and collected my thoughts, realizing I wasn’t being fair. Bryce had been so good to me, so patient. He just told me he was in love with me and here I was walking out on him. I’d probably seemed distant ever since hearing Sam’s confession and truth was, my thoughts were distant—I couldn’t get Sam out of my head. I was struggling with my own feelings at every turn. Bryce must’ve noticed and was most likely reacting. That shouldn’t be an excuse for his behavior, but still, part of me understood.
I turned to him, registering his rejection, understanding his pain. “I just need a breather, okay?”
He swallowed hard and then looked down at his feet. It was as if he was deciding whether or not to come to me or give me the space I desired. When he looked back up at me, he nodded his head and gave me a tight smile. “Go ahead. I’ll be here when you’re ready.”
I smiled in return, leaving him with a peace offering. “I’ll text you Memphis’s contact info. Maybe you’ll get through to him. Maybe you’re right about everything.”
Sam
THE FIRST THING I wanted to do after leaving the hospital was call London and tell her that her boyfriend was a lying sack of shit. But I’d watched enough Lifetime movies with my mother to surmise that lashing out would only paint me in an unforgiving light. A jealous, vindictive light. And that wasn’t me. No, I didn’t have to resort to that because I was the good guy and London would soon see that she was sleeping with the enemy.
There was no way in hell I would recklessly accuse him without proof. And believe you me, I was certain that SOB was hiding something beneath that very shallow surface of his. A huge part of me sensed he was bei
ng territorial because he knew I was also vying for London’s heart. What guy wouldn’t react to a threat like that when someone like London was at stake? But it wasn’t just that. There was more to it. Something I couldn’t quite figure out.
But I would. I was determined as fuck.
First I’d uncover whatever it was Bryce was hiding. Actually, first I’d get in touch with that asshole Memphis myself and then I’d get the proof I needed to show London who Bryce really was. A self-righteous, pompous prick.
I pulled my car over after exiting the parking garage and driving a few blocks from the hospital. I needed out of there, away from him, but there was no way I could wait until I was home to deal with Memphis. The adrenaline from telling Bryce the game was on had me pumped and ready to do whatever it took to step up and get shit done. Ella needed a kidney—my kidney—and Bryce was biding time by putting this whole rejection rate bullshit in London’s head. And while we were on the topic of Monroe women organs—London’s heart belonged to me.
I couldn’t wait to see the look on the good ol’ doctor’s face when she picked me. Because she would pick me, and not only because I was about to prove Bryce unworthy of her love. Because we belonged together.
For as long as I could remember, London was the air that I breathed, the reason my blood coursed through my veins, the only woman my heart beat for. And now I knew she felt the same because ever since I told her, the way she looked at me had changed.
She didn’t even have to admit it with words; her face said it all. She could no longer glance my way without a tinge of pink blushing her flawless olive complexion. The smile she tried to hide when I walked into a room or when our eyes met was unmistakable, and fucking adorable. I sensed these changes because I could define the meaning of every one of London’s expressions in detail. I had studied them for so long. And in all that time, I prayed and hoped that one day she would see me as more than a friend.
Every Breath You Take (The Every Breath Duet Book 1) Page 23
