Jim’s brows pulled together and he clenched his jaw, but Evelyn smoothed out his scowl line and smiled. “He was right. He said it’d be better for me to stop wearing the ring now instead of after someone had stolen my heart.” She swallowed and looked away from Jim’s piercing gaze.
“So there is someone else?” he asked.
Fresh tears fell from beneath her dark lashes. For so long she had pushed back any feelings as she tried to protect her heart. Now she felt as if her heart had betrayed her by letting her feel something for Sterling.
Jim groaned. “Of course, there would be. Look at you, you’re so beautiful.”
“Jim, please,” Evelyn cried and put her arms around him. “You’re alive. I don’t even know what’s going on inside my heart right now.” Her body shivered from the remnants of another sob as Jim put his arms around her and pulled her onto his lap. She rested her head on his shoulder. For a moment neither of them spoke.
Then she heard a noise, a vibration in his chest—the song—he was humming it, just like he did almost three years ago when he first gave Evelyn the music box.
“You remembered the tune?” she murmured.
“When they put me in the rehabilitation center, I felt like I was trying to crawl out of a deep hole. As if I was reaching for something but I didn’t know what it was.” He rubbed the jagged scar line along the side of his scalp. “Then one day they took me to a different area of the hospital. I heard music, and suddenly it was like we were dancing again in the kitchen to the tune of that music box.”
Evelyn stared at the rug by the foot of her bed and sighed. “There is someone.” She swallowed, stalling for time to come up with an explanation, but nothing seemed right. Finally she murmured, “He knows our song.”
Jim stopped humming and pulled Evelyn back. “Look at me.”
She raised her eyes to his.
“Do you love him?” Jim asked.
She wanted to look away, but his gaze held her steady. “I told him I did.”
His mouth opened and closed. He dropped his hands from her side. “Evelyn, I don’t want to mess up your life. I prepared myself for the worst—that you might be married to someone else already. I can give you some time if you need . . .”
“No.” Evelyn put her finger to his lips. “Jim, I love you. You’re my husband. I just didn’t know that I could love two people.” She put her forehead in her hand. “His name is Sterling Dennison. He was wounded in the war. His brother died. His father died while he was gone. He has no family left.”
Even though she could see that each word inflicted pain on Jim, he listened intently. “I met him at the Silver Lining. He heard me singing our song.”
“Wait. Singing?” Jim asked. “You mean there are words to the tune?”
“No, but I wrote lyrics and sang it to Danny every night when I rocked him.”
“Will you sing it to me?”
“I don’t think I could get through it right now, but I will soon.” Evelyn rested her hand on the sleeve of Jim’s white dress shirt. “Danny looks so much like you.”
“You think so?” Jim smiled.
She nodded and smoothed his burgundy silk tie between her fingers. “It hurt so much to think you never even knew you had a son, and now you’re here.”
“But am I too late?” Jim said.
For a moment, Evelyn stared at him, feeling the pull of her heart in two different directions. The part of her that loved Jim so deeply had ebbed to a comforting reminder of what used to be. How would it feel to open her heart again and rekindle the love she once had with Jim?
Sterling’s face flashed through her mind and she squeezed her eyes shut as a jolt of pain coursed through her heart. He would be devastated. It had taken so long for him to gain courage to ask her on a date. After Harlan, he’d been so patient, so strong. When she might’ve given up, he’d forced her to see the good things worth living for.
Sterling had spent the past year nurturing her heart. Most couples would’ve been engaged and married in that time frame. Evelyn felt certain Sterling planned to ask her to marry him any day now.
The sound of a deep breath inhaled brought her back to the present. She opened her eyes and focused on Jim’s face. The worry and heartache were evident in his eyes. Everyone would be hurt in this situation, no matter what she did.
Outside, dusk had fallen and the branches of the oak tree twisted under frigid gusts. Evelyn thought of the many nights she’d listened to the sound of the wind while lying in bed alone. Her pillow was often tearstained and sometimes in dreams she could feel Jim’s rough whiskers against her cheek and the musky smell of his aftershave.
Her nose twitched and she recognized the very scent from her memory. Leaning toward Jim’s neck, she breathed in and smiled as she pictured the bottle of aftershave she’d given him after he’d proposed. The aroma was subtle, a woodsy scent mixed with something she couldn’t identify but liked.
“I can give you all the time you need,” he whispered. Jim rested his cheek against her face. Evelyn knew what she needed to do.
Evelyn slid off his lap and onto the floor. She crossed the room in three steps and opened the top drawer of the bureau. Pulling out a piece of tissue paper, she walked back to Jim. The tissue paper crinkled as she unfolded it, releasing the scent of vanilla and cinnamon from the sachet in her drawer.
When the light caught on something golden, Jim leaned closer. Evelyn smoothed out the last edge of tissue paper to reveal her wedding ring and the locket Jim had given her. They both stared at the objects that represented their union—a marriage that had somehow survived death.
With trembling fingers, she gripped the ring and placed it in Jim’s palm. “Of course you’re not too late. But I hope you’ll understand it might be hard to piece together the parts of my heart that have been broken for so long.”
Jim stared at the ring, rising slowly from the bed. He picked it up and held it toward Evelyn. She spread the fingers of her left hand apart. He smiled and slid the ring onto her finger. “I love you so much. I can’t wait to get to know our son. Thank you, Evelyn, for giving us a chance.”
She stared at the simple gold band remembering the feel of the wedding circle that had identified her as Jim Patterson’s wife. “I’m glad you’ve come home.”
She lifted her eyes and smiled at Jim. He pulled her into his arms and coughed several times. It wasn’t until Evelyn heard a sniff that she realized he was crying. She threaded her fingers through his dark brown hair. It wasn’t black like Sterling’s, and she noticed how different it felt to stare into the vivid blue eyes of her husband compared to the green eyes of Sterling.
Jim stood much taller than Sterling, and he buried his face in the soft waves of her hair and held her close. He lowered his head until his face was only inches from hers. Evelyn’s heartbeat was erratic, one beat wanting Jim, the other in anguish for Sterling. She closed her eyes and allowed her husband to kiss her.
As his lips touched hers, Evelyn heard the grandfather clock downstairs chiming the hour of six o’clock and jumped. “Sterling will be here soon. I need to talk to him.”
It was the wrong thing to say and she wished she could reclaim the words as soon as they left her mouth. She watched the muscle in Jim’s jaw flex and then relax. He took two steps toward the door. “I can stay at the inn tonight.”
“No, please don’t leave.” She hurried to his side and grabbed his left hand. She turned it over and traced the gold band on his finger. Then she placed her left hand in his, so the light glinted off the gold band on her own finger. “This might be more difficult than either of us can imagine right now, but I won’t let you leave me again. I do, however, owe Sterling an explanation.” She looked at Jim, thinking of the worry she felt over losing either of the men she loved.
“All right, we can take things slow,” Jim said. “I can stay in the spare room for now.”
He pulled open the bedroom door and stood in the doorway. Evelyn’s hand was on the do
orknob when she heard three knocks on the front door. “Jim, wait, I don’t want you to meet Sterling like this. Please, can you wait until I’ve had a chance to tell him?”
Jim’s lip protruded as he ran his tongue over his teeth, considering her request. He dropped his chin and hurried into the spare bedroom, swinging the door shut behind him. She listened to the sharp squeak of hinges as the door closed and took a deep breath.
Sterling knocked again, and Evelyn guessed that her mother didn’t want to face him. She gripped the banister and rushed down the stairs. Marie waited near the entrance of the sitting room, her face drawn out in worry.
“Jim’s in the spare bedroom. I asked him to wait,” Evelyn said.
Marie squeezed Evelyn’s hand and a current of strength seemed to pass from mother to daughter. The words weren’t vocalized but Evelyn knew her mother understood the pain she felt.
Crossing the room with hasty steps, she tugged the door open before Sterling could knock again. He stood there with his hand raised, ready to do just that. His face broke into a wide smile. “I figured you couldn’t hear me knocking because you must still be celebrating.”
Chapter 20 ~ Two Hearts
December 2, 1945 ~ Evelyn
Evelyn felt like the words were lodged in her throat. There had been no time to prepare, no moment to clear her head. The scent of Jim’s aftershave clung to her dress, and it mingled with the scent of Sterling she knew so well. The mechanic’s cologne, he joked, was free, but one could never be rid of it.
Sterling held out a present wrapped in blue paper. “You look beautiful.”
Before she could speak, he set the gift on the floor and gathered her into his arms. “I’m so sorry I couldn’t be here earlier.” He pressed his lips against hers and she succumbed to his kiss. The wave of emotions running through her broke and she struggled to return Sterling’s affection. Her resolve withered as he pressed a gentle kiss on her cheek. “I love you so much.”
Evelyn stepped back. “I need to talk to you.”
Sterling’s smile faded as he processed the painful timbre of her voice. “What’s wrong?”
There it was, the same question asked by a different man this time. She wet her lips and dug for courage from the deepest corners of her heart. “Would it be okay if we talked in your car?”
“My car?” Sterling glanced behind him to his Cadillac parked on the street. “It’s freezing out here. Evelyn, what’s the matter?”
With a deep breath, she grabbed her coat and pulled the front door closed behind her. Sterling helped her slide her bare arms into the coat. “Are you angry because I missed Danny’s party? I thought you’d understand. Are you going to let me give Danny his gift?”
The questions tumbled out of him so quickly that Evelyn didn’t know which to answer first. “It’s nothing you did, but we need to talk.” She attempted a smile, but she knew it didn’t reach her eyes.
Sterling’s brow creased and he opened the car door for her. As she slid onto the bench seat, she thought how everything was familiar—as if they were heading out on yet another date. A romantic evening with Sterling professing his love for her, trying his best to win her heart. She swallowed away the tears threatening to spill over as she covered her legs with the soft blanket Sterling always kept in his car for her.
How could she do this when everything Sterling did provided yet more evidence of his love? She blinked away the tears as Sterling pulled the door shut and put his arm around her, holding her close to his side. His eyes asked the questions hovering on his lips and she looked away.
“Whatever it is, you can tell me,” he whispered. He kissed her brow and reached for her left hand.
In a panic, Evelyn moved her hand and felt the weight of her wedding ring against her finger. She had to tell him now, before he saw the ring. “Today during Danny’s birthday, someone knocked on the door.” She bit her lip. “I thought it was you, that somehow you’d fixed the milk truck. But it wasn’t you.”
“No, I’m sorry. It took me a lot longer.”
“Shh.” Evelyn placed her hand on his leg. “Just let me talk. I’m not angry. How could I be angry? You’re a good man, Sterling. It was the right thing to help out the Charlesworths.”
A bit of the tension eased out of him and he leaned back against the seat. “So who was at the door?”
“At first I thought it was a ghost. It was impossible, especially since it’s Danny’s birthday.” Her eyes met the confusion in Sterling’s gaze. “It was Jim.”
Sterling sat up. “Jim? You don’t mean . . .”
“Yes. Jim Patterson. My husband.”
“But how?”
“He was a prisoner of war,” Evelyn explained. “He had a terrible head injury and some paralysis. They left him for dead. He lost his memory as a result of the head injuries and then apparently contracted polio. He’s been at a rehabilitation hospital in Minnesota learning how to walk again.”
“But it’s been over two years,” Sterling said.
“I know. I can’t believe all this time he’s been alive,” Evelyn murmured. She smoothed the blanket over her knees and heard a sharp intake of breath from Sterling.
He grabbed her hand and rubbed his thumb against the gold band. “Just like that. You’re married.”
The tears couldn’t be kept inside any longer.
“Sterling, I’m so sorry,” Evelyn cried.
“You still kissed me tonight.” He studied her face, his eyes dropping to her lips then meeting her tear-filled gaze.
She felt her lips, now cold, with trembling fingers. “I didn’t know what to do—how to tell you.”
Sterling caught her hand again and glared at her wedding ring. “Are you sure this is what you want? What if you had been remarried already?”
“But I’m not,” she said. “Maybe this is for the best. I’m all wrong for you. You need someone stronger. My heart’s been through too much.”
“No, don’t say it. Don’t diminish what we have because he’s back. I know you love me. I know it now.” He leaned close to her, until he was eye level. “I felt it when you kissed me.” His lips parted and closed the distance between them. The kiss was gentle as all Sterling’s kisses had been, but somehow he infused his very soul into it.
Evelyn tried to pull back, but Sterling embraced her and claimed her lips with another kiss. She couldn’t deny the feelings his kiss stirred within her own heart. Knowing she should stop him wasn’t a powerful enough reason to escape his lips pressing against hers. He was right, she did love him.
But she loved Jim as well.
Sliding her hands up his chest, she pushed against him lightly. “You’re right, Sterling. I do love you.”
He smiled and leaned in to kiss her again, but she pressed her hand more firmly against his chest.
“But I love Jim, too.” She forced herself to look him in the eyes. “I didn’t know it was possible to love two people.”
“Then choose me,” he pleaded. He caressed Evelyn’s cheek, his eyes glistening with emotion. “Please.”
“I can’t. Jim hasn’t even been able to hold his son today because Danny kept looking for Stir.” Evelyn smiled through her tears. “I just found out my husband is alive and he learned that he’s a father. I used to dream of this—that Jim would come back, that I wouldn’t be alone, and now he’s here.”
Sterling released Evelyn from his embrace and shook his head. “I can’t believe the timing,” he whispered. Then he reached into his coat pocket. “I was going to ask you to marry me tonight.”
Her breath caught when she saw the white velvet box in his hand. He lifted the lid to reveal a gold band with a sparkling diamond solitaire winking in the dim light of the car’s interior.
“You’re telling me I missed the chance to be the happiest man in the world by a few hours?” Sterling said.
Pulling her gaze from the sparkling diamond, Evelyn shook her head. “Even if I had been engaged, Jim’s alive and that means I’m still marr
ied to him.”
“So you would have said yes?”
A tremor ran through her body and her eyes felt swollen from too many tears. She closed the ring box and held Sterling’s hand. “I would’ve said yes.”
“Will you think about it—about me—before you decide to go back?”
Evelyn pursed her lips. “I’m sorry, Sterling.”
He sighed and the last of his hopes seemed to escape on his breath.
She squeezed his hand. “Would you like to meet him?”
Sterling frowned. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
“I understand. Danny will be disappointed. But I still want you to be able to give him his gift.”
“Maybe you could bring him by my house.” Sterling pushed the ring box back down into his pocket and opened the car door.
Evelyn knew what he was thinking. Why would he come back here again when he wasn’t welcome? She had to help him understand. Sliding across the seat, she grabbed onto Sterling’s sleeve. “I owe it to Danny to let him spend some time with you. He won’t understand.” Evelyn clasped his hand and brought it to her lips. “I don’t want to hurt you. Please tell me you’ll be okay.”
He looked at her and the pain magnified in his eyes made her breath catch. “I won’t be okay, but I’m not going to let myself get lost again if that’s what you’re asking.”
She gripped his hand and allowed him to pull her to her feet. They walked toward the front step, and Evelyn thought of the distress on Sterling’s face when he had first described the panic attacks he’d suffered after the war. She covered her mouth with her hand to muffle the sob that pushed against the back of her throat.
He had been there for her when she began suffering the same type of panic, the panic that still threatened to overtake her some days when Harlan’s face flashed through her mind. Sterling. The man who had patiently helped her through the most frightening period of her life, was the same man she was letting go. There were no words she could give him that would make anything better.
The wind whipped the bottom of her coat against her legs, and she turned to see the shadows of the trees dancing against the chill air. She searched the fragments of her heart for something she could give Sterling. If she could, she would pull one jagged piece from her heart and give it to him, but, no, she already had.
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