by Jessi Gage
A smile stuck on his face as he deleted the message. Looked like no-nonsense Reynolds was a softy deep down. And Camilla had gotten his flowers.
He couldn’t fault Cade for overstepping his bounds yesterday; Derek would probably be the same way if he had a sister. He could respect a man being protective of the women in his life. But Camilla didn’t need protecting from him, especially now that he’d decided to make some changes in his life. He’d do his best to prove that to Cade, though it would take time. Camilla, on the other hand… Nothing would stop him from making sure she knew she could count on him, especially now that he had a green light to go see her.
Unfortunately, that green light had come from Reynolds, not Camilla. He’d bet anything she’d punched his number into her phone and stared at it for a good long while before chickening out and calling Reynolds instead. She was the same DG he’d known, brave and afraid at the same time, independent and needy, desperate to plunge into the unknown but so certain she didn’t deserve whatever greatness awaited her that she’d never take the leap.
The contradictions were what made her special. She constantly pushed back against who she thought she was supposed to be, as if her spirit refused to settle. Every second of every day Camilla fought against a past that bogged her down, a past he’d witnessed and planned to help her overcome.
He’d meant every word in that letter, including his certainty she would forgive him for cutting her off last Friday. But forgiveness didn’t mean she was ready to see him. Otherwise, she would have pushed through her insecurity and made that call.
She might be afraid to take a leap of faith, but he wasn’t afraid to give her a gentle push.
Ready or not, Camilla, here I come.
* * * *
Cami was such a coward. First she couldn’t bring herself to send the call through to Derek’s number, choosing instead to call Officer Reynolds to get the scoop on Cade’s presumptuous behavior yesterday afternoon. Then Cade had returned from lunch, and the rebuke she’d practiced in her head fizzled out at the sight of him strolling in with a big smile on his face, a smile just for her. A smile her heart had craved for eight years.
After reading Derek’s letter, she’d desperately wanted to see him. But after talking herself out of the only two endeavors she’d taken on today, she realized something. Derek might be the same person she remembered from their nights together, but she was not the DG he knew.
DG didn’t give up when faced with doubts and insecurities. She was brave, bold, and sexy, all the things Cami could never be because she let herself get bound up in chains of guilt.
The real Cami constantly sought approval and retreated at the first sign of opposition. She’d even given up on an eight-year self-imposed freeway ban because she hadn’t wanted to let down a woman she hardly knew.
Derek would hate the real Cami. He’d be disgusted with her meekness and indecisiveness. His confident, dominant personality would steamroll her. Someone like her could never make someone like him happy.
The intimacy they’d shared had been possible because she hadn’t known who she was. Freed from her past, she’d been what Derek needed. He’d been having nightmares because his conscience had required some heavy-duty house cleaning. The last night they’d had together, the night she’d woken from her coma, he’d acknowledged his guilt. That had been her purpose, to help him get to that point. Since he had, he had no need for DG. Maybe that’s why she’d woken up when she had.
Her time with Derek was over. Trying to prolong it would just hurt them both.
Cade had taken over the visitor’s chair and TV, again. She should thank him for coming between her and Derek yesterday. He’d saved them both a lot of awkwardness. Unfortunately, knowing it didn’t stop sadness from dragging her mood into the gutter.
To keep from sinking any lower, she drank in her brother’s appearance. Every time her eyes lit on him, a little thrill went through her. She could hardly believe he’d come. But his behavior yesterday soured her enjoyment. A woman worthy of Derek would call Cade on it, but not her. She would maintain the status quo and be thankful her brother had come at all.
Speaking of maintaining the status quo… She glanced at Derek’s bouquet. It sat on the windowsill next to the helmet the nurses strapped on her every time she got out of bed. Cade hadn’t demanded details about who had sent the flowers or why—one positive thing about the distance between them was that he didn’t stick his nose in her business. But her mother wouldn’t be so accommodating. She’d fawn over the roses and brighten at the possibility that Cami might be seeing someone. Since she wasn’t…
“Cade?”
He turned in his chair. “What’s up, Cams? How you feeling?”
She shrugged her good shoulder. “Okay. Headache. When’s Mom coming, do you think?”
His gaze returned to the TV. “Not sure. When she’s done with work, I guess.”
“Do you think you could do me a favor?”
“Sure.” He inclined his head her way, still watching his sports show.
“Can you get rid of the roses?”
That got his attention. He faced her with raised eyebrows. “Get rid of them?”
She scrunched her nose. “I don’t want to have to explain them to Mom.”
“So don’t.” He gave her a look like that would be the easiest thing in the world. Not to her, it wouldn’t. Not when her mother never missed an opportunity to inquire into her personal life. Her face must have broadcast her thoughts, because he said, “That’s like a two-hundred-dollar bouquet. I’m not going to throw it away. Just tell her it’s from a friend.”
She didn’t want it thrown away either. She would never disrespect Derek’s gift that way.
“She won’t let it rest at that, and you know it. I thought maybe you could take it over to my apartment.”
“Where you won’t get to enjoy it?”
She sighed and rocked her head back on the pillow. Why did this have to be so hard? She didn’t want to snub Derek’s thoughtful gift. It felt like snubbing him.
“Please?” she asked, her voice weak with doubt.
He stared at her a few seconds, then shrugged. “Okay.” He turned off the TV, and she thought he’d leave right then, but he scooted his chair to face the bed. “I’ll leave before Mom gets here. But first, there’s something I wanted to talk to you about.” He leaned forward and put his elbows on his knees. Rubbing his hands together, he continued. “I was thinking I might hang around a few days and see what I can do for you in setting up a civil case. I wouldn’t charge anything, of course, and I think it could all be handled relatively quickly.”
She went stiff at the mention of civil court, remembering Derek’s letter. Was Cade going to confess to his lawyer-zilla moment yesterday? Nervous sweat broke out on her forehead at the possibility of having a confrontation with him, or worse, the possibility of talking about Derek with him. How could she tell her brother she’d spent part of her coma in the bed of the man who’d cut her off? He’d have her committed.
“That’s not necessary,” she said. “I don’t want to sue anybody.”
“Of course you don’t. You’re too nice. But the perp’s insurance is only going to cover medical bills, and maybe not even all of them. You’re going to have other expenses besides, like lost wages and pain and suffering. You might need PT. From what I could find out with a call to the precinct, this Summers—” He spat Derek’s name like a dirty word. “Is charged with reckless driving and felony hit and run. That’s code for road rage. Juries are very generous in road rage cases. You could really take this guy to the cleaners, make him pay for what he did.”
Bile climbed her throat. When had her brother become so vindictive? And if Cade felt that way about Derek, did that mean he’d wanted her to pay for causing the accident that killed their father?
“I said no.”
Cade’s head snapped back and his eyes widened. She’d surprised him with her vehemence. She’d surprised herself even mor
e. She never raised her voice. Never.
“It’s a no brainer, Cams. Come on. You have to sue. Teach this guy a lesson. You want him to do this to someone else? Because that’s what’ll happen. And it’ll be your fault.”
She flinched. Then she regrouped.
No. It wouldn’t happen. She’d witnessed Derek’s transformation. And if seeing him admit to his fault their last night together hadn’t proved it to her, the letter certainly did. He would be a different driver from now on. Her chin quivered at the thought of the potential consequences he faced without the complication of a civil suit. “He’s already going to court,” she said. “He might have to go to jail for up to a year or pay a fine of ten thousand dollars. Isn’t that enough?”
“He’ll get a slap on the wrist. His driving record is clean. I’ve asked.”
Anger shot through her like lava, burning an unfamiliar trail. Cade had violated Derek’s privacy. A concerned family member inquiring about an arrest charge was one thing, but throwing credentials around to dig into a person’s driving record—not public knowledge—that was despicable.
“You had no right.” Her voice shook with conviction, and a part of her couldn’t believe she was standing up to Cade. That part urged her to shut up, but for some inexplicable reason, she kept going. And it felt darn good.
“You’re not my lawyer. You’re my brother. And you’ve been a pretty lousy one of those for the past eight years. Now you want to waltz back into my life and start dictating who I can and can’t see, and sue everyone in sight?”
Her anger rolled downhill, gaining speed. “I don’t know why I’m surprised. You declared me guilty eight years ago, and you’ve been punishing me ever since. Well, guess what, Cade, you’re not a judge. It’s not up to you to dole out justice. You leave Derek alone.”
Cade’s eyes bugged out. He was one of those physically blessed men who had to work to make himself unattractive; this look did it. Indignation and offense.
She pressed herself back into the bed as he stood up to tower over her. Where was the bravery that should have come with that bout of righteous anger?
“Derek? You’re on a first name basis with this guy? This perpetrator? This asshole who almost killed you?” He scoffed, an ugly sound to match his expression. “It’s not an attorney you need. It’s power of attorney. Your brains got scrambled in that accident. You’re not thinking straight.”
Her eyes were hot. They filled with tears. She’d always looked so far up to Cade that his opinion of her had meant more than anyone else’s, except her father’s. His open disapproval had destroyed her eight years ago, and it threatened to do so again. She was tempted to apologize, to backpedal and smooth everything over, go back to how things had been a few minutes ago. Go back to pretending.
But Cade was threatening Derek.
She swatted at her tears. Her gaze fell on the roses, which caught the sunlight on the windowsill. The sight of them gave her strength, and she wondered how she could have ever considered sending them away.
She took a breath and said, “Get out, Cade.”
He wasn’t listening. He followed her line of sight. “Oh, hell no,” he said. “They’re from him, aren’t they?” His yanked at his tie, loosening it as his neck turned red. “That asshole sent you flowers to try to talk you out of suing him. I’ll murder him in the courtroom. He knows he’s not supposed to have contact with you. That son of a bitch.”
He turned the vase roughly, inspecting the bouquet. “Where’s the note?” he asked. He turned harsh blue eyes on her. “Where is it? What did you do with it?” He scanned the room, his gaze landing on her again. No, not on her. On her pillow.
Oh, no.
He strode to her bedside and thrust a hand behind her pillow, drawing out the precious letter. She reached to stop him, but he was too quick. Her attempt left her wincing with pain all through her left shoulder and her back.
“Give it back, Cade!” Her pain made her voice shrill. She didn’t care. “Give it back right now!”
He shook it open and started reading. “Never told you that I loved you? What the fuck, Cams? This guy’s as big a nut job as you are.”
“That’s private. Give it back!” She felt like a kid again, discovering her brother on the back porch with his friends, all of them giggling over her journal. Despite mortifying embarrassment, she’d marched directly into the horde of older boys and grabbed her journal back. Old habits died hard. Her legs were over the edge of the bed before she could think better of it. She gripped the rail with her good arm and used it to launch herself onto her feet.
Chapter 18
Derek signed in at the third floor visitors’ desk and got a nifty badge with his picture on it. As he went up a floor to the IMCU, he kind of missed Reynolds’ presence. At first, he’d thought she was a pill, but she’d turned out to be all right. When he’d been with her at the hospital yesterday, he hadn’t had any doubts about belonging there, but oddly, without the uniformed, no-nonsense cop, he felt conspicuous and out of place, as if at any moment, security would spot him and usher him out.
Probably just nerves. And the fact that Camilla’s brother despised him. It had been a long time since he’d cared what another guy thought of him, but he found himself caring now. He wanted to get along with Cade. For Camilla’s benefit. But pulling it off would take a miracle.
He flashed his badge at the IMCU desk and asked for her room number.
“Four-twelve,” the receptionist said.
He waited a beat, expecting to have to answer questions or defend his existence, but the gray-haired woman in scrubs only smiled at him and pointed him down the hallway. No sign-in sheet or anything.
Industrial tan carpet and cool light from overhead fluorescents led him down the corridor of patient rooms. Handrails lined the walls, obscured here and there by a stray wheelchair or a hulking piece of medical equipment. Every twenty feet or so was a recessed bay with a computer monitor and keyboard where nurses could make their patient notes. He took advantage of the quiet and coached himself for the coming encounter.
Say you’re sorry. Ask her how much she remembers. Tell her you love her.
He got to room 412 and lifted his hand to knock on the closed door.
A muffled, “Right now, Cade. Give it back,” met his ears. The command was followed by a wounded cry.
His heart jumped into double-time. He shoved open the door in time to see a slender form in a hospital gown crumple to the floor.
Camilla!
He rushed to her, his knees hitting the linoleum. As he pulled her into his arms, a tall form crowded over them.
“Cams, shit.” He recognized Cade’s voice. “I’m so sorry.”
“Get a nurse,” Derek said through gritted teeth.
Camilla looked nothing like he remembered. Bandages wrapping her entire head replaced the auburn waves cascading around her shoulders. Bruises colored the left side of her face, and swelling hid her delicate bone structure. A line of stitches bisected her left eyebrow. Her lips were semi-recognizable. Their lush fullness struck a chord deep inside him, but they were bloodless and parted in a mask of pain. Her eyes, familiar and crisply blue, locked on his.
He had no idea what had happened, but it registered with the primal part of his brain that it had been Camilla’s voice he’d heard. Her cry. There was no one else in the room, so she must have been talking to Cade. This was her brother’s fault.
He bit back a curse, tamped down his rage. It wouldn’t do any good here. She was in trouble, and she needed him.
After Cade’s footsteps retreated at a run, he said, “Are you hurting anywhere?”
She touched his cheek and said, “Not anymore.” Then her eyes rolled back in her head and her body began shaking.
All hell broke loose. People in squeaky shoes came running. Carts were rolled in. Two people took Camilla from his arms and put her on the bed. A woman in a white coat was shouting at him, but he couldn’t tear his gaze from Camilla, shaking uncontr
ollably as gloved hands held her down. Helplessness tried to swallow him whole.
“What happened? Hey, you! What happened in here? What was the patient doing out of bed?” Fingers dug into his arm, making him look away from Camilla.
His mouth was dry, but he managed to say, “I don’t know. I just got here. Is she going to be okay?”
The woman in the white coat had short brown hair, and she looked pissed. “If you don’t have any helpful information, then you need to get out of here. Now. Before I call security. You too.” She pointed at Cade, who stood shaking his head in shock.
She’d said the magic word. Security. He wouldn’t let anything come between him and Camilla again. He didn’t think he could survive if he got thrown out of the hospital. And he didn’t fool himself into thinking he could do anything for her right now. He snagged Cade’s arm on his way and dragged him out of the room, leaving the experts to fix whatever the hell had gone wrong.
He wandered to the cluster of armchairs and potted plants near the elevators, fell into a chair and held his head between his hands. Worry for Camilla had him sick to his stomach, and he shook with the effort not to pin Cade to the wall and demand answers.
After a couple of tense minutes, the IMCU doors hissed open and several staffers pushed a gurney past him toward a set of double doors marked Service Elevator. Camilla lay in the bed.
She was terribly still. He recognized the woman in the white coat. She was squeezing a bag over Camilla’s face, giving her oxygen.
He rocketed out of his chair. “Where are you taking her?”
The woman in the white coat glared at him. “To CAT scan.” She offered no more information as the gurney was wheeled through the doors, which sighed closed with a soft thump.
He stood staring after them. What the hell was happening? He couldn’t lose Camilla when he’d just found her. He pulled at his hair.
Not going to lose her. She’s strong. Persistent. She’d shown him over and over again during their nights together. She’d get through this.
