****
She was going to Florida in a few months. The thought hadn’t left her mind, even once she arrived at the office. Her boss gave her the time off, she knew that wasn’t going to be a problem. She hadn’t taken a vacation since she started this job and her boss agreed that it was time that she got away from her everyday life.
As the day went on, Stacey started to enjoy the thought of a vacation. She needed something to distract her, clear her mind of Jax. It was wrong to still think of him, Stacey knew that. And yet, on those nights when she was alone in bed, her mind would go back to the month she spent with him. How wonderful it had felt to talk with him. To feel him so close to her. Stop it Stacey, she told herself. She had to stop second guessing herself about ending it with Jax. Three years had passed, it was time to put it to rest.
Except more and more she found herself hearing some of his last words as she tried to drift to sleep. Words begging her to hear him out. Hear the truth. Late at night she wondered if there could possibly be a good reason for him to be married and not tell her.
*****
Three months couldn’t come quick enough for Stacey. The plane touched down in the land of the sand and surf and she was greeted by Morgan. Morgan beamed and threw her arms around her best friend. “I’m so glad you were able to make it!”
“You really think I would miss my best friend’s wedding? Have I been delirious in thinking we’ve actually known each other all these years?” she joked.
“I’m just so glad you’re here. Wait until I show you the hotel room I got for us.”
“You’re staying with me?” Stacey asked. “Not with Ivan?”
“Don’t be silly, Stacey. I’m not going to be staying with him before the ceremony. Especially with his parents staying at their house with him,” she laughed.
Stacey couldn’t believe the sight in front of her when Morgan pulled up to the hotel. And even more so when they went inside. It was clear that Morgan was marrying into money with Ivan. Chandeliers of crystal, fine tapestries, and she could have sworn that one painting was a Monet. “This place is amazing!”
“Ivan said only the best for my best friend and me.” Morgan smiled and Stacey saw pure happiness. Now she knew why Morgan kept pushing her into finding a man that could be a potential husband. It wasn’t that she thought a man was the key to happiness, it was wanting to share the happiness she felt. Stacey shook her head. No Stacey. You can’t think like that. You’re through with relationships remember that.
“What’s wrong? Are you all right?” Morgan asked. “Want to go up to our room?”
“Sorry, Morgan. I just had a lot on my mind. Let’s get ourselves settled in. And I don’t know about you, but I want to spend some time on the beach.”
Stacey followed Morgan inside the hotel. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw a man standing at the desk checking in. It can’t be, Morgan tried to shake the image out of her mind. It had been three years since she last saw him, surely her mind was playing tricks on her. There was no way that Jax Burn was there in Destin, at the same hotel, on the same weekend.
Morgan turned around and waved Stacey over to the elevators. “You coming or not?”
Stacey broke from her thoughts and rushed over to Morgan with her bags. “Sorry. I thought I saw someone at the desk.”
“Who?” Morgan turned to see if she could catch a glimpse.
“Don’t worry about it. Come on, I want to get out and spend time on the beach.” Stacey rolled her shoulders. “I need to relax.”
“Now there’s something I agree with. I have been so stressed since I started the wedding plans with Ivan. I thought I would’ve be calmer once we flew out here, but the stress feels as if it multiplied. Guess I won’t be calm until the ceremony is over.”
“Well this weekend is all you, Morgan. We’re going to make some memories. My boss insisted on giving me more vacation days than I asked for to come out for the wedding. I think I’ll use those extra days and stay here before heading home.”
The elevator stopped at the eleventh floor and the two stepped out. “Our room is down the hall. And I don’t blame you for not wanting to go home. I wouldn’t either if I were you.” She opened the door. “What do you think?”
Stacey looked around the room. Linens with thread counts so high they felt like clouds and square footage that outnumbered her apartment. Inviting colors, soothing atmosphere, and everything so clean and tidy compared to her own apartment. “Ivan sure knew how to pick the most amazing hotel.”
“He got the bridal suite for us after the ceremony. He won’t let me see what it looks like until he actually takes me up there,” Morgan laughed.
Stacey dropped her bags onto the bed and went to change into her swimsuit. Morgan waited for her at the door. “Ready to soak up some sun?”
“I’ve been ready,” Stacey smiled.
They found a spot a safe distance from the shore and put down their blankets. Stacey was getting ready to lay down when Jax started to walk by.
“It can’t be.”
“What can’t be?” Morgan asked looking over her sunglasses.
Stacey didn’t realize she was talking out loud. “That guy over there. I could swear he looks like… no, it’s my mind playing tricks on me.”
Morgan looked in the same direction that Stacey was staring. She moved her hand to block the glare of the sun. “That’s him isn’t it?”
Stacey nodded. “I was hoping I was wrong, but that is definitely Jax.”
“Want to go somewhere else?” Morgan asked, her tone giving hints of disappointment.
“No. I’m not taking anything away from your good time.”
“I don’t want you to be uncomfortable.”
“I mean seriously, though.” Stacey said, lying down on her towel. “Out of all the beaches in the state he has to be on this one?”
“Stacey, don’t pay him any attention. Remember how he betrayed you? How he made you feel like a fool? You got him out of your life. Keep it that way.”
Stacey sighed in annoyance and closed her eyes. Morgan was right. She needed to completely forget about Jax. So what if he was staying at the same hotel as her. It’s a free country. He can stay wherever he pleased.
The warmth and the sound of the waves gradually brought her mind back to a better state. She was beginning to feel much better when –
“Stacey?” The sound was barely a whisper, but she’d know the voice anywhere.
Stacey froze hearing it. She didn’t want to open her eyes to confirm it was Jax talking.
“It is you, isn’t it?”
She stifled a grumble, knowing he wasn’t going to leave until she responded. She opened her eyes and sighed seeing Jax standing over her. Glancing to the side, she saw Morgan had apparently drifted off in her lounging. She didn’t want to wake her for fear of the arguments her best friend might cause to defend her.
Stacey stood up, wanting to be face to face with him. The tension between the two of them hung there, blanketing the mood in thick sadness.
She’d given Jax the silent treatment. They weren’t friends, and they weren’t lovers; they really weren’t anything to each other. She stared at him, waiting for him to talk. Words would never make up for how horrible she felt after him betraying her.
Chapter 4
Jax watched as Stacey stood there, clearly vexed to see him. He tried to think of how he could possibly say the right thing to make her understand. Then she suddenly walked past him.
“Stacey,” he called in a pleading voice.
She turned her head with her finger pressed to her lips and walked a few paces off. Evidently she didn’t want to disturb her friend, who Jax guessed was the ‘Morgan’ she’d told him about.
Stacey stopped a few paces off and turned to face him directly, arms folded.
“What do you want?” she muttered.
“I’m so sorry,” he began, wrapping her in his arms. She instantly tensed up and turned her head away, but he didn�
�t let go.
“Please,” he said kissing her hair. “Please just listen to me for a moment.” The embrace didn’t last but a second, but he hoped it was the start to at least telling her the truth.
Stacey pushed Jax away. Something like shock looked mingle with the agitation in her eyes.
“Jax…”
“I’m sorry, Stacey,” he began again. “I should have told you that years ago. I should have told you the truth at the very beginning, but I didn’t know I’d fall in love with you. And after I did, I was afraid to tell you.”
Stacey shook her head. “Jax, don’t lie to me. You didn’t think about me once since I called off the affair. I’ve stopped thinking about you and I’ve moved on.”
“You’ve moved on?” His heart sank. “You have a boyfriend?”
Jax had wished every night that he had another chance with Stacey. That she would forgive him and hear him out. Even if they couldn’t be together, perhaps they could one day be friends.
“I don’t think it’s any of your business if I’m in a relationship or not,” Stacey turned to walk away. Jax grabbed her arm to try to keep her from leaving, but her icy stare made him release her at once.
“I need to talk to you, to tell you everything I should have told you then.”
“There’s nothing left to say,” she replied, bluntly. “I said everything I had to say that night three years ago, so there’s no reason for this. Now if you don’t mind I have to go.”
“Please, Stacey. I beg you, just hear me out. Do you know how hard it was for me to keep from you that I was married? I loved you so much.”
Stacey looked sidelong at the waves much like she had back in that apartment doorway.
“And do you know how disgusted it felt when I found out I was the other woman? I felt lower than dirt. I’m just glad that no one ever saw us together and word never got out about our affair. I could’ve lost my job if this got out! My father cheated on my mother for as long as I could remember. I remember night after night she cried when he didn’t come home. When I found out that you were having an affair with me, all I could do was imagine your wife crying like my mother did. I hated seeing my mother go through that and didn’t want your wife to go through that pain and hurt.”
“It wasn’t like that, I swear to you.”
“But you knew very well when you started to date me that you were bringing me into the middle of this! You’re only sorry that I found you out. Why are we even discussing this?”
“Because it’s been killing me ever since that night that we didn’t end on good terms.”
“Oh I’m sorry, Jax, how should we have ended then? Should I have been happy that I was the chosen one to be your little fun on the side?” She rolled her eyes.
“Stacey you were the love of my life. You still are.”
Stacey laughed. “You cannot be serious. I can’t believe we’re even having this discussion. Jax, when I said I wanted nothing to do with you, I meant I never wanted to see you again.” She started walking up the dune, back to her hotel room, “I would appreciate it if you never touched me again either.”
“You don’t mean that.”
“Don’t you dare tell me what I mean and don’t mean. I may not know what my future holds right now. But one thing I know for sure is that I do not see you being a part of it.”
“Think back to those nights we spent together.” Jax said. “We had something special. Curled up, sharing our desire for one another and what it meant for us to be together. Nothing else in the world mattered.”
She hurt look turned to disgust. “So your wife didn’t matter to you? Well that sums up how anyone would be treated if they stayed with you.”
“No! That’s – that’s not what I meant.”
“What else could that possibly mean?!” Stacey demanded.
“I care about her as a person, but not in the same way as you. That’s what I tried to tell you -”
Stacey held up her hand. “You know what, it doesn’t even matter. The Jax I thought I was dating was a single man, and a sweet man that I cared for. That’s not the man I’m seeing now. Apparently that Jax disappeared the day I discovered his secrets.”
“No, I haven’t,” Jax said sternly. “I’m the same as I ever was. And I can prove it.”
“Mm hmm.”
“I know you felt the same thing I did, Stacey. There’s no way I was the only one who felt our connection. Don’t you see, we can be that couple again! Forget our past, we could start our relationship anew. Look! We’re here in Florida, let’s start here. A different state, a new beginning for us.”
“Are you serious? What kind of a woman do you think I am? I’m not a homewrecker! My father’s girlfriends were those types of women. They even wanted me to call them Mom. That is not the type of woman I am!”
Jax took a breath to calm himself. “I realize how all of this must sound, but I’m telling you this isn’t what it seems like,” Jax pleaded.
“Well you’ve yet to say anything in your favor yet,” Stacey said. “You keep saying I don’t understand, and you can ‘explain’ yet we’re still waiting our time here.”
“This isn’t the place to talk about it.” He took a step closer. “Stacey all I’m asking is for you to give me another chance. That’s all I want.”
“I can’t do that Jax. What you did to me was unforgivable, you don’t deserve a second chance. I really need to go.” She turned back toward the hotel, then remembered Morgan was lying not very far off. She headed toward her friend to wake her up.
“Is that really your final answer? Because I can see you’re hesitant and I don’t want you to go either.”
Tears started to fall from Stacey’s eyes and she tried to wipe them before Jax could see the effect he had on her. “I…” She didn’t know what to say. Come on brain, don’t listen to heart. He doesn’t have any sense but you do. He isn’t worth any of this. Her brain and heart weren’t working together and she remained standing still.
“That’s what I thought,” Jax said. “You have to agree with me that we do need to talk. The way we ended that night wasn’t closure. If not for anything else, we both deserve that.”
Closure. She wondered if that was what she needed from Jax. Then she could erase him from her mind completely and live her life. Go back to dating a random guy every week. She had to admit she was enjoying playing the field with no commitment attached. “We do need closure, I agree. I need to move on from you as far as possible.”
Jax looked around, “The beach is too public for us to talk about this.”
“In other words, you don’t want whoever you’re here with to know about your ex-girlfriend.”
“That is exactly why we need to talk. You can’t go around with this anger inside. I get it, you’re mad at me. You made it known very clearly that night, and rightfully so.” He looked down at his watch, exhaled, and said, “I have a business meeting to get to, but I’m free tonight. What about you?”
She looked over where Morgan still lay on her blanket. Stacey wished that Morgan was awake and would make an excuse for why she would be busy tonight. When Morgan didn’t stir, Stacey knew she was out of luck. “I really don’t think us being alone is a good idea.”
“What’s the matter, afraid we’ll rip each other’s clothes off before we say a word?” Jax said, attempting to lighten the mood
“I cannot believe how disgusting you are!”
“It was a joke, Stacey. I swear.” Jax shook his head. “I apologize. Please say you’ll meet with me?”
“I really don’t know, Jax. I don’t think it’s wise for us to meet up with each other ever again. How about letting this be our closure. I don’t think there’s anything left for us to talk about.”
“There is so much we need to talk about, Stacey. But I’m not going to force you to meet me tonight. If you change your mind, give me a call.” Jax handed her a small card with his new cell number on it and headed back to the hotel to get ready for his business
meeting.
Stacey bitterly watched him leave, then looked down at the card. Who do you think you are? She thought. You brought me into this whole mess, caused me years of struggle and heartache, then you just show up when I finally get a chance to relax and you want forgiveness?
‘I loved you so much,’ he had said. I loved you, not I love you.
Her throat tightened again. She was sick of crying.
‘You were the love of my life. You still are.’
How can that be, when they’d only been together for a month? She had half a mind to rip of the card on the spot. But she didn’t. She understood. Even within that same month, she easily could have believed she felt love for him.
Fresh tears welled in her eyes as she thought back to those weeks she and Jax dated. He was right, she had something special. Based on a lie, but it was special to her nonetheless. When she was in his arms, she felt safe and loved. Wanting to erase those thoughts, she thought about how it felt when she saw the photo of him with his wife. He had deceived Stacey. Had his wife been deceived too? Surely she had to have been. Where was she now? Was she alright? How dare he! How dare he do this to either of them.
Her heart was broken, and while it made no sense, it wanted that same comfort that he used to bring to it. She knew all it wanted was for Jax to make it better again.
“I wouldn’t go meet him,” Morgan’s voice broke her thoughts, still in the same spot on her blanket.
“Now you’re awake, Morgan? Where were you when I needed you to save me from him?”
“Oh, I wanted to. I’ve been awake the whole time, and I had plenty to say. But this is between you and him, not me. As long as it didn’t get violent, I had no real say in the matter. Plus,” she propped herself up on one arm, “I wanted to see you stand your ground. And I’m glad you did. Although if you ask me, it seems that you really didn’t want him to leave.”
Stacey sighed. “I don’t know what was going on in my mind, Morgan. But I couldn’t walk away. Part of me wanted to hear what he had to say.” Her brain tried to come up with a different perspective, one that would help her see more clearly. But it was hopeless. “Let’s head back inside.”
CEO in the Sand Page 4
