If You So Desire

by Yahrah St. John

  “Yes, sir.”

  Ian smiled. He wanted Sage all to himself for the duration and he didn’t want any interruptions. He’d waited long enough to have the temptress in his bed.

  She emerged twenty minutes later in a floral summer dress and espadrilles. Her short hair had been sleeked back to the nape, while her face was natural with only shiny lip gloss as her makeup.

  Ian felt his groin harden. “You look sexy.” He bent down and swept his lips across hers. She tasted sweet, too, like peaches.

  “Thank you. So do you.”

  A short while later they were driving up the coast to his Malibu home. “You’re going to love my house,” Ian said as he whipped his Aston Martin DB9 Volante up the Pacific Coastal Highway. “It’s right on the beach and on a clear night, there’s a sky full of stars.”

  “Sounds romantic.” Sage smiled over at him. She hadn’t taken Ian for the romantic type, but then again, it wouldn’t be the first time she’d been wrong about him. She was right that he was a fanatic about cars. The DB9 was one hell of a sports car, but with an understated elegance rather than a Lamborghini or Porsche which she’d figured him for. The walnut finish interior and smooth leather seats were all beautifully designed.

  When they arrived, Ian pushed a button on his visor and the gates swung open to a modern one-story home. Ian grabbed their bags from the backseat and walked up the driveway. As Sage exited the vehicle, she realized she had never seen a place like this before except maybe in the movies. The home was surrounded by walls of glass. The inside was bright and airy with stark white walls. The gourmet kitchen was state-of-the-art with stainless-steel appliances and opened onto a dining area with a fireplace and sophisticated entertaining area complete with a Mediterranean-inspired sofa and colorful pillows.

  Ian dropped their bags. “So what do you think?”

  “Ian, this really is beautiful,” Sage said, turning around to face him. She circled her arms about his waist. “Thank you for bringing me.”

  Ian had been waiting to see that smile all day. “You’re welcome and I’m glad you like it. I probably don’t come here nearly enough.”

  “You should. It’s an oasis.”

  “Let me show you another oasis.” Ian grabbed her hand and led her to the master suite. It was nicely decorated with a king-size bed, fireplace and sheer white curtains. But the centerpiece was the sunken spa tub in the corner with a view of the Pacific.

  “Nice touch.”

  “I thought so.” Ian grinned devilishly. He imagined they would make great use of it.

  “So what are you in the mood for?”

  “Do you really need to ask that?” Ian pulled her toward the bed until she fell on top of him. “Because if so, I must have been remiss in showing you just how much I want you.” He scooted back until his head was on the pillows.

  Sage raised her dress so she could straddle him. Ian’s hand immediately went underneath and was shocked when he found she wasn’t wearing any underwear.

  “Sage, you bad, bad girl.” Ian tore the trifle of a dress off her body as if it were nothing more than a nuisance. If he’d known she was naked underneath the dress, he’d have stopped on the highway and would have probably taken her right there along the side of the road, which was probably why she hadn’t told him.

  “I know what time it is.” Sage lowered her head and her lips came down over his. She welcomed the firmness of his lips and when she felt the sweeping thrust of his tongue, she grabbed hold of it and sucked voraciously. While their mouths fused, she reached for the belt on his trousers and unbuckled it. Her fingertips brushed his hard shaft as she tugged the pants and his briefs down his legs.

  “Mmm,” Ian groaned, kicking off his pants. He not only wanted to taste her lips, but he also wanted to taste her sweet nectar.

  Ian gripped her hips and then slid underneath her to give her the most intimate kiss of all. Ian spread her outer lips and found Sage hot and slick and ready for him. He blew on the sensitive nub before flicking his tongue across it, her body involuntary jerked forward. Sage had to clutch the headboard to keep from falling.

  “Easy, love,” he said, spreading her legs farther apart so he could have complete access to the task at hand. He slid two fingers inside her, moving them slowly in and out, then faster and harder until he felt pressure building inside her.

  “Ian…don’t stop.” Sage writhed above him.

  Even though his penis was hard as a rock, Ian grabbed her hips and tongued her even more, until Sage cried out. “Oh, God, Ian!”

  Let it go, baby.

  He didn’t stop until she started to shudder uncontrollably. Flipping her over, he quickly reached for a condom in his nightstand drawer. He ripped open the wrapper and protected them before lying back on the bed.

  Sage lowered herself onto his waiting erection. She was so hot and wet; her body easily took him deep inside her. Their lower bodies ground together in unison, slow and rhythmic, until Sage said, “Any slower and I’m going to die.”

  “But, oh, what a way to go.” Ian chuckled, sliding his hands over her firm buttocks and increasing the pressure. His mouth then found its way to her breasts and his teeth tugged at her rigid nipples, causing Sage to thrash and moan above him. He slid one of his hands farther to tease that sensitive nub at her womanhood and Sage exploded.

  “Ohmigod!” Sage cried out as an exquisite climax overtook her and she fell over his chest.

  White-hot sensations eclipsed Ian as a feeling of euphoria intensified then burst around him. He held her close, their bodies still joined until the spasms subsided.

  When he finally released her, Sage was overwhelmed by the intensity of their encounters. He knew exactly the right spot to hit to have her crying out in ecstasy. She didn’t recognize the woman she was becoming. Sex with Ian was exciting, spontaneous and erotic. The fact that Ian could bring that kind of passion out in her scared Sage. If she let it, she could become addicted, which wasn’t a good thing. She couldn’t forget Ian Lawrence was an infamous playboy who bedded women as easily as he took over magazines and television stations.

  “How about a dip in the ocean before dinner?” Ian asked.

  “Sounds perfect.”

  The rest of their day was as splendid as the beginning. A swim in the Pacific followed by a succulent seafood dinner at a small café along the beach and then more passionate lovemaking with the doors wide-open, the cool breeze blowing and stars in the distance. Lying next to Ian, Sage worried about whether she’d made the right decision getting involved with him. She slid from underneath his arm and out of bed. She snatched her satin robe from a nearby chair and wrapped it around her naked body and tiptoed outside to the deck to look out at the dark ocean. She was deep in thought when she felt Ian’s presence behind her.

  His arms circled around her waist and he rested his chin on her shoulder. “Is everything okay?”

  Sage glanced behind her and feigned a smile. “Everything is fine.” Sage turned her back to him and faced the ocean again.

  “You’re worrying about what’s ahead. Can’t you just enjoy the present?”

  “I can try,” she said sincerely.

  “Good. How about we go back to bed? It’s late.”

  “Sounds good.” Sage took his hand and walked back inside.

  As she drifted off to sleep in the safety of Ian’s arms, Sage would remember it as a perfect evening to savor after their affair was over. Ian had not only been a giving lover that night, but a kind friend. What she didn’t see was Ian leaning over her and watching her as she slept.

  Chapter 10

  Sage was having a delectable dream. She and Ian were making love, swimming on the beach, cooking steaks and bathing together in a big sunken tub. When she finally opened her eyes and realized where she was, Sage realized it was no dream. She and Ian had spent three glorious days in heaven at his Malibu home. But he was nowhere in sight. “Ian?” she called out, but no one answered immediately.

  “I’m right
here.” He crawled back onto the bed with two steaming mugs of coffee. He was bare-chested and wearing pajama bottoms.

  Sage couldn’t resist touching his chiseled chest and brushing her fingertips across his nipples. “Thank you.” She accepted one of the proffered mugs and brought it to her lips.

  “You do realize I have to get back to work?” It was hard to believe it was already Sunday. The days and nights had flown by.

  “Who says?” Ian returned. “You’re with me. Your boss won’t care because he’ll assume you’re here trying to woo me for my business.”

  “Which I haven’t been doing a great job of.” Sage smiled. She’d been too caught up in the man himself to care about business, which was completely out of character. “So, if we’re not going back to New York, what’s on the agenda for today?” He had to have something up his sleeve. Ian didn’t leave much up to chance.

  “Well, I thought we could spend the day aboard my boat,” Ian replied. He had a forty-two-foot yacht he rarely used, but today was the perfect occasion. “You’ll love it. Sailing is one of my favorite leisure activities. And the boat, well, it’s got everything we need, a full-size kitchen, shower and a bed.” Ian winked.

  “Sailing?” Sage feigned a smile. “I don’t know anything about sailing. The best the orphanage had to offer in the way of entertainment was a television and a broken-down ping-pong table.”

  “Sage, I’m sorry.” Ian folded her into his arms. Sometimes he forgot how different their upbringings truly were. “I didn’t mean to be condescending. I realize we come from very different backgrounds.”

  “To say the least.”

  “Don’t be like that,” Ian replied.

  “Like what?” Sage asked. “You have no idea what it was like growing up with a drug addict for a mother who couldn’t keep food on the table. You have no idea what it’s been like to grow up with nothing, Ian. Me, Q, Malik and Dante—we learned at an early age to fend for ourselves, for every dime that came our way. Even with a scholarship, I had to work two jobs in college to pay for my books and expenses. I had to learn to be self-sufficient.” She and Malik had done everything they could to stay in school, while Quentin and Dante started out at the bottom of their respective fields until finally making their way to the top.

  “I have some idea about growing up with no one,” Ian replied.

  “What do you mean?” Sage asked. His father had been alive when he grew up.

  Ian turned his back. “There’s a lot you don’t know about me, Sage. We have a lot more in common than you might think.”

  “Why don’t you fill me in on the missing pieces?” Sage scooted behind him and tried to hug him, but Ian shrugged.

  “It is common knowledge that my father raised me in his footsteps,” Ian said with his back to her. “But what many people don’t know is how he came to be a single parent.”

  Sage paused. “Your mother was never mentioned in any of the articles I read.”

  “That’s because my father, being the multimedia mogul that he was, completely obliterated her from the picture,” Ian said, finally turning to face her.

  “Why?” Sage’s forehead creased in a frown.

  “Because…my mother had the audacity to run off with another man, a man with whom she’d had a former relationship. It was rumored that he could have been my father, but a paternity test proved otherwise. Anyway, when my father discovered the affair was ongoing, he gave her a choice—a life with her lover or a life with her son and him. She chose her lover.”

  “That’s horrible.” It was hard to believe a mother would choose a man over her own child, but Sage wasn’t a stranger to it. Malik’s own mother had chosen her abusive ex-husband over Malik, leaving him to be raised at the orphanage.

  “It killed my father. He was a proud man and was offering her wealth and fame, but she chose a poor man over him. So he forbade all contact between she and I and sent me off to a boarding school. I was the youngest student there, but he didn’t care. He just wanted to be rid of any reminder of her.”

  “And your mother?”

  “I never saw her again. She was killed in a car crash with her lover a year later.” Ian could still see the look in his father’s eyes when he’d told him that his mother was dead. He’d had no compassion; he’d just been cold and matter-of-fact. His father had told him that love made people blind, which was why he’d been blind to the fact that his wife had been cheating on him. “My father couldn’t be bothered with me. He left me at boarding school and when breaks or vacations came, he was nowhere to be found. I had a revolving door of nannies to attend to my every need.”

  “I’m sorry, Ian.” Sage touched his arm.

  “So you see I know what it’s like to grow up without parents, Sage. Although my father was alive, he may as well have been dead like my mother because he was no parent to me. I raised myself.”

  “I guess we have a lot more in common than I’d thought,” Sage responded and hung her head low. She’d had no idea he’d had it so bad. Ian came off as arrogant at times, but he understood the pain of feeling alone in the world. A pain that, although she had Quentin, Dante and Malik, was still acute and resonated throughout her life.

  “That’s what makes us perfect for each other.” Ian bent over and kissed her forehead. “Because we don’t need anyone or anything. We can fend for ourselves.”

  Sage frowned. Ian’s statement was exactly the opposite of how she felt. It was because she’d had to fend for herself that she wanted to have someone in her life. She just hadn’t been willing to settle. “Is that what you really think?”

  “Of course, why else would you focus your attention solely on your career to the exclusion of all else?” he asked. He knew Sage hadn’t serious dated anyone since she’d broken up with her fiancé nearly seven years ago. “You’re like me. When you need affection, it’s just a phone call away.”

  Sage inwardly recoiled. She didn’t know why she was surprised at Ian’s view of relationships. Look at what he had as an example. Of course, she didn’t have a good one either. Yet despite it all, Sage believed everyone needed someone. When she’d met James, she’d thought she had someone to share her life with, but it wasn’t meant to be.

  And now here she was in bed with a man who didn’t believe he needed anyone or anything. Sure, he enjoyed her body and all it had to offer and for as long as he wanted it, but why couldn’t he want more?

  That was when it hit her. Despite her best efforts to the contrary, she’d fallen in love with Ian Lawrence. Somehow he’d found a tiny crack in her well-maintained armor and slipped inside her heart.

  “You all right?” he asked when she remained silent.

  “I’m fine.” Sage jumped off the bed. She couldn’t let him see her true feelings, which was that she was crazy about him. “I think I’m ready for that shower.”

  “Would you like some company?”

  Sage kept her back to him for a moment and thought about it. Should she end things right now and avoid further heartbreak, or should she continue to enjoy the little time they had left together? She chose the latter. “Love some.” Because any time with Ian was better than none at all.

  The drive up the Pacific Coastal Highway to Marina del Rey where Ian’s yacht was located was beautiful. The sky was blue and the sun was warm as it beat down on Sage’s back. Fortunately for her, Ian had been kind enough to lather sunblock all over her so she wouldn’t burn in her print halter top, skimpy white shorts and espadrilles.

  Sage licked her lips when she glanced over at him as he drove. He looked particularly sexy and rugged in a T-shirt and shorts. The shorts showed off his powerful thighs and well-defined calves.

  When they arrived, the marina was already bustling with activity. Ian parked the car at one of the several docks and went in search of the business office to take care of the arrangements, while Sage unpacked the trunk with her overnight bag and a picnic basket filled with meat, cheese, crackers, fruit and wine.

  “You rea
dy?” Ian asked when he returned with the keys. Thanks to Jeffrey, everything was in order. The boat had been fueled and stocked with refreshments along with lobster, steak and the like.

  “Lead the way.”

  He took the basket out of her hand and led her up the gangplank. “This is it.” He stopped when they arrived in front of a boat called Elusive. “What do you think?” He pulled a plank from the side and walked aboard before leaning over to help her on board.

  The name suited the owner because that was exactly what Ian was. Elusive. “It’s lovely,” Sage said, walking across the deck and looking over the main channel.

  “Let me show you the cabin below.” Ian scooted down the ladder with ease and waited for her below. Sage had to pay careful attention so that she wouldn’t fall. Once downstairs, she looked around while Ian put away their bags.

  The entire galley was done in rich oak and had plenty of cabinet space. Sage was surprised to find a front- and top-loading freezer-refrigerator, microwave and propane stove and oven. There was even a small seating area and stateroom with a bed inside.

  Sage was a little nervous being on a sailboat and hoped he wouldn’t ask her to help navigate. She’d been on ferries and large yachts, but she was a city girl after all and was used to having her feet firmly on land.

  While Sage put away the items from the picnic basket into the fridge, Ian navigated the boat away from the marina. When Sage came back on deck, she sat in a nearby seat and asked, “How did you get into sailing?”

  “Well, when you’re in boarding school, you pick up a lot of sports you wouldn’t typically, like skiing, tennis, lacrosse, snowboarding and of course golf. Most of my schoolmates would take pity on me and take me on their family trips. Thus the sailing.”

  “I see.”

  “It’s made me into the well-rounded man you see in front of you.” Ian grinned.

  They spent the rest of the afternoon lying in the sun and listening to music on Ian’s portable iPod station and sipping on wine and eating fruit and cheese. Sage couldn’t remember when she’d felt this relaxed and this content. She was always working and proving herself to the senior partners that they hadn’t made a mistake when they’d hired her that she forgot to enjoy life. Sage resolved to make the most of her time with Ian no matter how short-lived.