Chapter 17
Ian’s attempt to forget Sage over the past few weeks and focus his attention on his work was met with disdain by Jeffrey. He wasn’t this involved in Lawrence Enterprises on a day-to-day basis; usually he left the running of his media empire to the team he’d put in place who were more than competent. They were the cream of the crop. This time was different. For the first time, he couldn’t shake a woman out of his mind. Of course, Sage wasn’t just any woman, which was why he was driving his staff crazy.
He’d asked for advertising sales figures for several of his television stations, examined every number much to his sales force’s chagrin, reworked Craze’s magazine cover and ripped a young writer’s article to shreds, sending her crying from the editorial meeting. He was on a tear and anyone in his path shook in fear. Ian supposed that was why Jeffrey arranged a few choice appearances at the latest restaurants and hot spots to get his attention on something else and off everyone’s back.
Ian had agreed, against his better judgment, to a date with Jade Reynolds, an upcoming young actress on a new television drama. She was beautiful enough, but something was missing. He’d thought he could go back to the way he was before, moving from one woman to the next, but instead, all he could think about was Sage.
He ended the evening early and escorted Jade back to her apartment. “I’m sorry, Jade,” Ian apologized as he walked her to her door and held out his hand for a handshake.
“I have to admit I’m surprised you’re turning down a night in my bed,” Jade replied with her hands on her hips. “Everyone told me you were a man who loved women. This is a real disappointment.”
He nodded. “And they were right, I did.”
“Did, meaning past tense? What’s the problem, Ian?”
Ian paused and for once answered the question truthfully. “The problem is…I want only one woman.”
Jade chuckled. “So someone has managed to tame the great Ian Lawrence, playboy to the stars. Wow! I’m impressed. She’s one lucky woman.”
“No,” Ian returned. “I’m a lucky man.”
As he drove away from Jade’s condominium, Ian realized what he’d known for a long time but refused to admit. He was in love with Sage Anderson, but he’d walked away from the love. Why? Because he was afraid to love anyone, he admitted to himself.
Sage had changed that. She’d given herself over to him and what had he done with her love? He’d thrown it back in her face as if it meant nothing. The question was, would she take him back now that he was ready to love? Would she give him another chance to make it right?
“Can you believe Quentin and Avery’s wedding is tomorrow?” Sage asked Dante on the cab ride over to the happy couple’s rehearsal dinner at one of their favorite restaurants in Manhattan. “Time really flew.” With moving into her new office and her new assignments, Sage had hardly had a chance to breathe, let alone think about a certain publishing magnate with bedroom eyes and a killer physique. Her focus had been the bride-to-be and the big event. It had to be. Yet something was missing. Her breakup with Ian had forced Sage to take a long hard look at her life. She finally had everything she wanted. She’d made partner at Greenberg, Hanson, Waggoner and now Anderson and Associates, but she wanted more.
Case in point, Ian had already gone back to his playboy ways. Sage had picked up a tabloid just the other day and seen him splashed over the headlines. Same ol’ Ian.
“I know,” Dante replied. “And I still have to come up with my toast for the reception.” He and Malik were both best men and Malik already knew what he was going to say.
“You’ll think of something.” Sage smiled. “I’ve never known you to be at a loss for words.”
“It’s good to see you smiling again.” Dante glanced over in her direction. Over the past few weeks, she’d looked pretty miserable despite having achieved her long-held dream of making partner. He knew she was still struggling with her feelings for Lawrence.
Sage gave Dante a tentative smile. “I’ve just been taking it one day at time and sometimes it’s hard knowing that Ian doesn’t want or return my love. But I’m trying to make peace with it.”
“I’m not surprised. You’ve always been a tough cookie,” Dante said, lightly stroking her cheek. “How else to explain how you’ve dealt with three male egos for the past twenty years?”
“Hmm…” Sage rubbed her chin. “You have a point there.”
Once they arrived, the host ushered them into a beautifully decorated banquet room filled with several long tables. Veronica and Clay Roberts, Avery’s parents, were center stage standing by their daughter, but Quentin didn’t have any family standing by his side, until now.
“Q.” Sage came forward and tucked her arm inside his. “We’re here.”
“Thank you.” Quentin sighed loudly. He was relieved to see their smiling faces. “I hadn’t realized just how alone I felt until Avery’s relatives started pouring in.”
“Well, you’re not alone anymore, man.” Dante gave him a pat on the back. “Your family is here.”
A half hour later, Malik and Peyton arrived. “Sorry, I’m late, Q. I had a fire to put out at the Harlem Community Center.”
“No worries. Just join these two knuckleheads at my side.” Quentin laughed.
“Hey!” Sage nudged Quentin in the middle. “No name-calling or I’m going to leave you here by yourself,” she teased.
“Congrats, Q.” Peyton leaned in and kissed Quentin’s cheek before taking a seat at Quentin’s “family” table. Despite his soon-to-be mother-in-law’s desire that they mingle, Quentin had insisted that they all sit together.
“I’m really glad to have you all here,” Quentin whispered. “Because I’m nervous as all hell about tomorrow.” He knew he loved Avery with all his heart, but saying “I do” in front of a crowd of folks was nerve-wracking to say the least. He guessed the guest count was upward of two hundred.
“Don’t be,” Malik said. “You’re marrying the woman of your dreams. What could be better than that?” He couldn’t wait to make an honest woman out of Peyton.
“Not a thing.” Quentin grinned. “Not a thing.”
“I’ve made a real mess of things, haven’t I?” Ian commented. He’d asked Jeffrey to meet him at his penthouse for a stiff drink after work and revealed his true feelings for Sage, which was that he was head over heels for her. He’d called Sage’s office earlier and had been told that she’d left early for the day. He’d charmed her assistant into revealing that she would be attending Quentin’s wedding rehearsal dinner. Now he just had to figure out what to do.
Jeffrey didn’t sugarcoat his response. “I’m not going to lie to you, Ian. You’re in the doghouse. You reeled the woman in and when you finally had her, you tossed her back into the ocean.”
Ian glared at Jeffrey. “I wasn’t that bad, was I?”
Jeffrey glared at him.
“Okay, I suppose I was. So how do I get her back?” Ian asked his most trusted advisor and best friend. This was all new to him. He wasn’t used to putting himself out there. What if she rejected his love just as he’d rejected hers?
“Be honest,” Jeffrey stated. “Tell her she’s the only woman for you and beg her to take you back.”
The bartender slid Ian a scotch on the rocks and Jeffrey a whiskey. Ian took a generous sip, even though he knew liquid courage would do him little good. “You make it sound so easy, Jeffrey. But you know I have never been someone to express my emotions freely.”
He was right. Ian rarely expressed his true emotions except when his father died. Jeffrey swore he’d seen a stray tear at the cemetery when they’d laid Myles Lawrence to rest. But no sooner than he saw it, Ian had been back to being stalwart. “Well, you’re going to have to lay your heart on the line if you want Sage back,” he responded. “There’s no easy way around this, Ian. You’re going to have to say the three words you’ve been dreading to say your entire life.”
“What if I tell her I love her and she still doe
sn’t take me back?” Ian asked. He was used to getting what he wanted and he wanted Sage badly and not just for his bed partner, but for a lifetime.
“That’s a risk you’re going to have to take, my friend.”
Ian thought about what Jeffrey said and knew he was right. It was amazing how he could take a risk on a business investment or on real estate, yet when it came to matters of the heart, to love, he found himself running scared. He’d been a coward and let the best thing that had happened to him go. When she’d told him she’d loved him, he should have embraced her with open arms. Now if there was any chance he could salvage what they’d shared, he was going to have to be open with Sage and pray that she could see he was sincere and head over heels for her.
Sage heard everyone discussing how delicious the food at the rehearsal dinner was, but she’d only taken a few bites and shuffled the rest of the chicken cordon bleu, mashed potatoes and asparagus from one side of the plate to the other.
As she watched Quentin and Avery bask in love’s glow, Sage had to admit that although she was happy for him, she was a little envious of what they shared. She was also coming to accept that she and Ian would never be.
It was a cold realization, but she had to face facts. He was commitment-phobic, easily content with the status quo. Loving her would complicate his life and that, Ian Lawrence would never have. He would never give up control of his heart without knowing it was a sure thing. And in love, no one could ever be certain. You had to take risks and believe that the love you have for the other person can withstand the storm. That was what Quentin and Avery would be doing tomorrow, taking that leap of faith.
While she wallowed in what would never be, Quentin and Avery rose to give a few short speeches. Avery thanked her parents and her best friend, Jenna, for help with the wedding and bridal shower.
Quentin was last to raise his flute. “As most of you saw, I don’t have a mother or father here with me today. But who I do have are my friends…no, correction, my sister and brothers, Sage, Dante and Malik.” He turned to face them. “We’ve weathered some rough times together, shared some highs and some lows, but despite it all, you are the best family I…” Quentin choked a little on his words. “I could ever have.”
Tears welled in Sage’s eyes at his warm words.
“I want to thank you for supporting me, encouraging me, loving me all these years and although I move into a different phase of my life and join Avery into our tight-knit family, you guys will always be with me and will forever be my family.”
“Oh, man.” Dante sighed from Sage’s side as his eyes teared up. “Is he trying to make a grown man cry?” Dante reached for his water glass.
“I’m close to crying, man, real close,” Malik whispered from his other side as Peyton patted his knee.
“If you guys will excuse me for a minute.” Sage rose from the table and headed toward the restroom. She hadn’t realized tears were streaming down her face until she felt her face become damp. She needed time to compose herself before going back in.
Thankfully, the women’s room was empty. Sage glanced at her reflection in the mirror and noted her red eyes. Was she crying because of Q’s speech or because she feared she’d never have a love like Quentin and Avery’s?
“Excuse me, I’m here for the Davis-Roberts rehearsal dinner,” Ian told the host when he arrived to the restaurant where the rehearsal dinner was being held.
The host glanced down at his watch. “Sir, the party is already under way and you’ve missed dinner.” A tone of disdain was in the host’s voice at the interruption.
“I realize that,” Ian replied curtly. “But I really need to see one of the guests at the dinner.”
“So be it. It’s down the hall and to the left.” The host waved his hand to the left.
“Thank you.” Ian rushed down the hall. He didn’t know what he was going to say when he saw Sage, but somehow he would find the words to tell her just how much she meant to him and that he couldn’t see his life without her in it.
Ian found the correct banquet room down the hall. It read: Davis-Roberts Wedding Rehearsal Dinner. Ian pulled opened the French double doors and glanced among the crowd. He saw Quentin and Avery at the head of the room, but no Sage. He finally laid eyes on Dante and Malik at a table nearby, but still no Sage. He knew neither of the gentlemen would be too happy to see him. He’d hurt their sister, so they would be in full protective mode right now and he would expect nothing less. But Ian wasn’t giving up; he was there for Sage and he wasn’t leaving without her.
Determined, he walked through the crowd until he arrived at their table. Dante was the first to look up and when he did, a pair of stormy brown eyes connected with Ian’s dark ones, but Ian would not be put off.
Dante immediately rose and nudged Malik. Once again, Ian received another withering look.
Ian held up his hands in defense from the onslaught he knew was to follow. “Listen, I know you guys don’t want me here, but I’m not leaving until I see Sage.”
“Oh, you’re leaving,” Malik returned, punching his fists in his hand as he stood up. “One way or another.”
“Malik!” Peyton jumped up out of her chair and grabbed his arm. She loved her man, but he did have a quick temper.
“Peyton, this guy used Sage and when he was done with her, he tossed her aside.” Malik took a threatening step toward Ian. “And I for one am not about to let him get away with it.”
“I agree. There’s nothing I’d like better than to rearrange his face,” Dante added.
Oh, great. Ian sighed and looked upward. He didn’t want to fight Sage’s family. It certainly wouldn’t win him any brownie points with the lady, but he would if he had to. He glanced across the room and saw Quentin look his way. Ian didn’t want to spoil his night either. Luckily, he didn’t have to because a feminine voice behind him spat out, “What the hell are you doing here?”
When he turned around, Ian was happy to see Sage. She looked stunning in a one-shoulder bubble dress that hit just above her knee, revealing her beautiful brown legs. The fuchsia color was bold, beautiful and bright just like the lady herself.
“I’m here, Ian.” Sage put up her first two fingers and motioned to her face when she caught him eyeing her up and down.
Ian blinked several times to snap himself out of his daze. “I know and I’m happy to see you.”
“Is that a fact?” Sage couldn’t believe he was standing in front of her. She hadn’t heard from him in over a month. Why had he come? She was making her peace with how they’d ended things. Why did he have to come back now?
“Can we talk privately?” He’d prefer to say what he had to say with just the two of them present.
“Why?” Sage asked, folding her arms across her chest. “It must be important if you’re here. So spit it out.” She glanced in Quentin and Avery’s direction and mouthed, “I’m sorry.” She wasn’t trying to spoil their evening, but neither was she going to let Ian sneak his way back into her heart. She needed backup, which Malik and Dante would provide.
Ian swallowed as several sets of eyes shot daggers at him.
“Speak.”
“Sage, if you want us to handle this guy for you, we can.” Malik spoke up.
“No, he came here to say something,” Sage responded, glaring at Ian. “And I want to hear it. So speak.”
“Okay…” Ian glanced around the room. The entire group was looking and waiting on him. He hadn’t intended to lay his heart on the line with an audience listening. “Well, if this is how it has to be, then here goes,” he replied. “You were right about me, I’m a playboy.”
“See, I told you so.” Malik took a step forward.
But Ian held up his hand to fend him off. “Or at least you were. I was a playboy and proud of it. I was used to having anything and anyone I wanted, and from the moment you sneaked into my hotel room, I knew I had to have you.”
“You’re not telling me something I don’t already know,” Sage said. A
lthough she wasn’t entirely blameless, he had been relentless in his pursuit of her.
“I stopped at nothing to have you. I used every excuse in the book and I manipulated the situation to suit my own needs.”
“Go on.”
“I even chose your firm for the lawsuit because I was attracted to you. But somewhere along the line, Sage, something changed for me. I don’t know when exactly it happened, maybe it was that day aboard my boat, but somewhere along the line I fell in love with you.”
A silence fell over the table and even Sage was taken aback. Did he just say he loved her? Those were certainly not the words she expected to hear. When she’d seen Ian, she thought he was coming back to stake his claim, as if he had a right to her. As if she was his possession. But love? Love? She hadn’t expected to hear those words.
“I refused to admit it to you, let alone myself. I hid behind my reputation and my past. A past I’ve allowed to define me for too darn long. I’ve let what my father said define me and become a self-fulfilling prophecy. He told me love made people blind. I saw my mother leave my father for another man. I saw her abandon her child for a man. So the more he said it, the more I believed it.”
“I don’t understand.”
“Don’t you see? I thought that love was synonymous with hurt. I saw how my father became bitter when love turned sour on him and I never wanted to end up like him. So I closed myself off to love.”
If You So Desire Page 18
