Blaine’s back is to me so I can’t see his face, but no words are coming out of his mouth; he’s speechless. There’s nothing he can say to get himself out of this one. He was caught with his pants down, literally.
“Get out of my house!” Salem’s voice is beginning to waver. He takes a step towards her.
“Baby, I’m sorry. She means nothing. You’re the one I love, you know that.”
I watch her give in to him, wrapping her arms around him as she cries into his shoulder. Why does he have such a hold on her? How can she forgive him? She caught him in the act! I can feel my heart shattering into a million pieces as I watch them through the door. I clench my fists tightly together, not caring about how much it hurts. If I could pound a hole in the wall right now, I would.
He tries to kiss her. “No!” she pushes him away from her. “Not this time, Blaine,” she says confidently, as she stands up tall.
“I think it’s time for you to go, Blaine,” Jocelyn orders as she enters the room. “Don’t worry, I’ll pick up the pieces like I always do,” she pats him on the back.
“Salem, please,” he grovels as Jocelyn leads him out by his arm.
“It’s too late for that. You should’ve thought of that before you had your cheap whore sucking your dick,” she turns her back to him.
Atta girl. I smile to myself. I watch her through the door as she sits down on the corner of her bed, wiping the tears from her face. I want to run out to her, to comfort her, but I need to be sure Blaine’s gone before I do.
“The prick is gone,” Jocelyn opens the bathroom door.
Pushing by her, I rush to Salem, taking a seat next to her on the bed, “I’m so proud of you,” I caress her hair. She leans into me and begins to bawl. “Shhhh… you did so good. You held your own and didn’t back down. I wanted so badly to come out here and knock his lights out.”
Salem begins to laugh through her tears; her face all splotchy from crying.
“Don’t you shed another tear for him, Say, he’s not worth it.” Jocelyn growls angrily. “You should’ve dumped his ass.”
“You know it’s not that easy, Jocey.”
“Oh, it is that easy. Watch and learn,” she boldly walks up to Jase. “Blaine, you’re a cheating fuckball,” her finger pokes into his chest. “Go fuck yourself!” She turns to us, smiling, “See, easy as pie,” she then leaves Salem’s room and leaves behind a completely stunned Jase.
He finally finds his voice. “Wow,” he whispers in awe.
My arm is snugly around Salem as she rests her head on my shoulder. I can feel her smile even though her body shudders every few seconds from crying.
“That girl is a trip,” I laugh.
“I don’t mean to interrupt,” Jase says cautiously, “but we only have about fifteen minutes until my appointment, and I’m not feelin’ so good.”
I look over at him. His complexion is ashen; beads of sweat are covering his brow, and his lips are dry. His hands are stuffed into his pants pockets, but I can see him fidgeting.
“Oh God, Jason, I’m so sorry,” Salem looks up at him. “Let’s go,” her voice is urgent as she jumps from my hold. “Come on, we’ve got to go!” she shakes her head at me impatiently, holding her hand out.
I look up at her with a smile; she amazes me yet again. She’s putting aside all her hurt and pain for Jase, a man she hardly knows. Hell, I hardly know him anymore.
As we head down the stairs in her condo, I stop halfway down, “You don’t think Blaine is waiting for you outside, do you?”
“No, I heard the pansy-ass peel out when he left,” Jocelyn chimes in from the top of the stairs.
“Good, I hope he wraps his car around a tree,” Salem sneers.
“You don’t mean that,” I give her a gentle squeeze.
“Yes she does, and so do I!” Jocelyn yells.
I shake my head, laughing at Jocelyn’s comment.
“How you holding up back there, Jason?” Salem asks.
I look at him in the rearview mirror. He’s biting his fingernails again, “I just want to get this over with.”
“You’re going to be just fine,” Salem reaches around to touch his knee, giving him a warm smile.
“I’m glad you think so,” he forces a smile.
The waiting room of the clinic is small and stuffy. There are at least half a dozen people waiting who look just as bad or even worse, than Jase. Salem walks up to the frosted window and lightly taps on it. The window opens, and an older, heavy-set woman asks briskly, “May I help you?”
“Jason Vega,” Salem says, keeping her voice down.
The woman turns to her computer. “Does he have an appointment?”
“Yes, he does,” I interject. “It could be under ‘Jase Vega.’”
“Well, I don’t see either name in here,” her tone is short as she peers up from her glasses. “Are you sure it’s here?”
“Gabe,” Jase moans.
I turn to look at him, and he’s doubled over holding his stomach.
“I think I’m gonna puke.”
“Do you have a bathroom?” Salem looks over at the receptionist.
“It’s only for patients.”
“Well, he’s gonna puke on your floor if he doesn’t get to one,” I bark at her.
She huffs loudly, getting up from her desk. The door to the right of her window opens. “It’s down the hall, second door on the right.”
I walk by her with my arm wrapped around Jase, not even acknowledging her.
“Thank you,” Salem says to her kindly.
“Can you believe that bitch?” I say to Jase.
He begins to gag, so I pick up the pace as we walk down the hallway. “Hang in there, Jase,” I struggle to open the bathroom door and hold him up at the same time.
“Gabriel, let me help you,” Salem quickly walks down the hall.
Jase’s body has become limp, and his shirt is soaked from his sweat. “Can you get the door, Salem?”
No sooner does she open the door than Jase pukes. Everything he’d eaten for breakfast is now covering the bathroom floor. “Aw Christ, Jase.”
“I’m sorry, Gabe,” he says faintly as he wipes his mouth with the back of his shaking hand. His eyes look very dark and are sunken into his head.
“I’ll get someone to help clean up,” Salem volunteers.
I manage to get Jase fully into the bathroom without stepping in any of his vomit. “I’m gonna puke again,” he covers his mouth.
I rush him into one of the stalls, just in time for him to kneel down in front of the toilet as he pukes his guts out.
“How long’s he been usin’?” asks a deep voice from behind me. I turn around to see a man stepping over the puke. His salt and pepper hair is in a crew cut, and he towers over me, standing at least six-three. The name “Chris Pearson” is on the badge pinned to his white lab coat.
“To be honest, I don’t know,” I answer, ashamed. “He’s my brother, but we’ve been estranged for a while. I’m trying to help him get back on his feet.”
“You got a long road ahead of you. Is this his first time coming to the clinic?”
“It was supposed to be,” the frustration in my voice is shining through.
“What do you mean?”
“We were told by Judge Ferriter to come here today at eleven. But, the lady at the front desk says she can’t find our appointment.”
“Judge Ferriter?”
“Gabe,” Jase moans.
I stick my head into the stall he’s in, “What’s the matter, Jase?”
“I think I’m good,” his head is resting on his forearm.
“Okay,” I kneel down to help him up.
I lead him to one of the sinks and hand him some paper towels, “Here, wash your face up and rinse your mouth.”
“So, you say Judge Ferriter sent you to us?” Chris asks curiously. “How do you know him?”
“He helped me out when I was a kid. My boxing trainer, Frankie, and the judge are good friends. Jase got
picked up yesterday. Frankie called the judge and well, here we are.”
“Judge Ferriter is a great man,” Chris begins to smile, “I know him very well.”
“They’re sending someone to clean up,” Salem enters the bathroom. “Oh… Hello. I’m Salem,” she introduces herself.
“Forgive me,” he smiles and turns to me. “I never introduced myself. I’m Chris Pearson; I run the clinic.”
“You do?” Salem’s face lights up. “Can you help Jason?”
“It’s nice to meet you, Chris. I’m Gabriel, and this is my brother, Jase. It would be really cool if you could maybe give us a hand.”
He smiles at Salem then at Jase and me. “I can certainly try to help him, but he has to want to help himself,” Chris says seriously. “Only Jase can take control of his addiction. Why don’t you three come into my office so we can talk?”
“That’ll be great,” I say appreciatively, as he walks us to his office.
“Have a seat and make yourselves comfortable. I’m going to get a patient information sheet for you to fill out.”
I help Jase into a seat, and he immediately slumps over. “Jase, come on, sit up,” I tap him on the shoulder.
“Don’t touch me,” he hisses at me.
“Jason,” Salem says.
“Don’t
‘Jason’ me,” he shoots her a dirty look.
“Don’t, Jase. You can disrespect me, but not Salem. She’s been nothing but nice to you.”
“It’s okay, Gabriel, he’s not himself right now.” She takes a seat next to him, reaching for his hand.
“Unfortunately, I am myself right now. This is me. The real me. The person you’ve seen so far is the Jase on shit. Not so pretty, is it?” his voice is harsh and full of resentment.
“Thanks for waiting,” Chris walks back into his office, shutting the door behind him. You can cut the tension in the room with a knife. He looks at all three of us, “Is everything okay?”
“Everything is peachy keen,” Jase responds sarcastically.
Chris begins to laugh, “Oh, I love this stage.”
Salem and I give him a confused look.
Chris sits in his chair behind his desk, “He’s going through withdrawal and, of course, it’s everyone else’s fault. You’ll probably see a bunch of different emotions pour out of him today.”
“I don’t need this bullshit,” Jase attempts to get up from his seat.
“Have a seat, Jase,” I push him back down. Standing over him, I warn, “This is it, you either try or you’re going to jail.”
“Gabriel,” Salem chastises me in a voice full of compassion for my little brother.
“No Salem, he needs to hear this!” I’ve lost my patience; not with Salem, but with this entire situation, with the fact that we’re here for Jase, and he just wants to give up and runaway to get high. Looming over him, I continue, “Jase, you have a pretty hefty list of charges waiting for you back at the station. And if you think you’re going to run, don’t forget about your ankle bracelet.”
“Why don’t we all calm down?” Chris tries to gain some control of the room. “Gabriel, take a seat and let’s see what we’re dealing with here. You getting angry at Jase is not going to help him get sober.”
I drop heavily into my chair. I know what Chris is saying is true, but I can’t help getting irritated with Jase; he’s throwing his life away on drugs. In my eyes, he’s taking the easy way out. Instead of fighting his addiction, he’d rather feed it.
“Like I told you in the bathroom, this is not going to be easy. Jase is going to need you to be there for him, and if you fly off the handle over every little thing, you’re not helping him.”
I hang my head at Chris’ words.
“I know it’s frustrating and at times you’ll probably want to kill him, but you have to realize it’s the drugs, or lack thereof, talking. It’s not him.”
“I’ll try to keep both of them under control,” Salem smiles, looking at the three of us.
“This is going to put a strain on everyone’s relationships,” Chris informs Salem as his eyes glance over to me. Salem’s smile quickly turns to a frown. “I’m not here to upset anyone. I’m here to share with you all what to expect of an addict.”
Over dinner, the three of us barely speak a word and Salem is constantly checking her phone. I’m trying to ignore it, hoping she actually wants to be here instead of feeling obligated, since it was her suggestion after all. Jase has hardly touched any of his food. He’s spent more time pushing it around his plate than actually eating. He’s blaming the Methadone, saying that it’s made him nauseous. Salem thought it was important to get some food in his stomach since he’d thrown up everything from this morning.
She finally breaks the silence by asking Jase, “How’s your spaghetti?”
“It’s okay,” he shrugs his shoulders.
I, on the other hand, am scarfing down the pizza I ordered. It’s been too long since I’ve eaten a piece of Luigi’s pizza. “You want a slice?” I look over at Jase.
“Nah, I’m good.”
“How ‘bout you,” I turn to Salem, who’s sitting next to me.
She smiles and raises her eyebrows at me, “Are you sure you want to share it? You’ve almost eaten the entire pizza all by yourself.”
“It’s the best pizza on the planet,” I stuff the rest of the slice into my mouth. I pick up a piece and bring it to her mouth, “Here, have a bite.”
“I can feed myself,” she laughs.
“Is everything okay here?” Nico stops by our table and addresses Jase, “You do not like your spaghetti? I can make you something else if you would like.”
“No, it’s fine, I’m just not that hungry,” Jase avoids eye contact with Nico.
“Who is this lovely lady sitting next to you, Saint?”
“I’m Salem,” she stands to shake his hand.
“Ciao bella,” he says, taking her hand and kissing each of her cheeks.
Salem blushes in embarrassment.
“Saint is a very lucky man,” he winks at me.
“Well, that’s very kind of you,” Salem murmurs softly, sitting back down.
“Please let me know if you need anything else,” Nico is now directing all of his attention to Salem.
“Okay,” Salem looks at me uncomfortably.
“Thanks, Nico,” I answer for her, hoping he’ll get the hint. He lingers for a moment or two longer before the phone rings, and he walks away. Saved by the bell.
“He’s harmless, I swear.”
“If you say so,” she responds hesitantly, looking over at him.
I smile and give her a wink, “He’s probably just dazzled by your beauty and charm.” Then I try to change the subject, “So, what do you guys wanna do tonight? Go to a movie or something?”
“I don’t really feel up to doing anything,” Jase groans.
“What about you?” I ask Salem.
She gives me a hard look, her eyes glancing over towards Jase. His elbows are on the table and his head is in his hands.
“What?” I mouth.
“You can’t leave him alone, not tonight,” she whispers.
“I invited him, he doesn’t wanna come.”
“I should really get going soon, anyways,” she looks down at her phone again.
“Fine,” I sigh heavily, pushing the plate in front of me to the middle of the table.
“Gabriel, I’ve got class in the morning,” she touches my leg gently.
“Whatever,” I push her hand off my leg. I want to believe her, but something about her facial expression makes me doubt what she’s saying.
“Yeah, I’m tired,” Jase adds.
“Let’s go,” I edge myself closer to Salem.
“You mean, right now?” she asks with surprise.
“Yeah, now,” I can’t hide the annoyance in my voice, “you got class in the morning and he’s tired.” I’m nearly pushing her out of the booth at this point.
“Oh, ok
ay…” she slowly gets up from her seat, looking at me; puzzled.
I walk over to the counter to pay Nico for dinner. “You want a to-go box?” he asks me, but he’s staring over at Salem.
“Nah, I’m good. What do I owe you?”
“Twenty-seven, eighty-two, and that beautiful lady’s telephone number.”
“She’s taken.”
“You do not want to share with your old friend, Nico?”
“How can I share what’s not mine?” I look over my shoulder at her, she’s again on her phone.
“What do you mean she is not yours?”
“She has a boyfriend Nico, and it’s not me.” I throw forty dollars onto the counter and mutter, “Keep the change,” as I turn to walk away. “You guys ready?” I call out as I walk right past the booth and out the door.
“What’s your rush?” Salem walks briskly, trying to catch up to me.
“No rush. I just figured you’d wanna get home,” I look away from her.
“Are you mad at me?”
“Mad? Why would I be mad?”
“I don’t know Gabriel, you tell me,” she crosses her arms.
“It’s been a long day for all of us,” I exhale. “Come on, Jase, we’re gonna walk home.”
“Walk? Don’t be silly, I can drive you home,” Salem reaches out for my hand as I start to walk away from her. “Gabriel, wait. When will I see you again?” she nuzzles up against me.
I shake my head to clear my thoughts, “I…”
“You what?” she kisses my neck.
Closing my eyes, I try to fight off my desires. You’re dreaming, man. She has a boyfriend. This’ll never work, so do the right thing.
“What happened last night, it can’t happen again,” I exhale heavily. I can’t believe those words just came out of my mouth. Never in my life had I expected that. But I can’t, for my own sanity. There’s no way I can handle sleeping with her again knowing she’s not really mine, knowing she belongs to someone else. I will want more than she can give, just like she said at the fiestas patronales. It’s killing me inside to know that she was right, that I need her more than she needs me; that I need anyone for that matter.
“I know,” she sighs, “and I won’t fight your decision. I just want one more kiss to remember you by. Please, Gabriel.”
On the Ropes Page 25
