by Cara North
“Layla, you are not a sorry replacement. You’re a good mom, and you are their mom. Savannah knows who is taking care of her, who loves her. You just can’t hide it from them and lie to them. They’re children, yes, but smart kids. Savannah remembers. This has to be confusing for her.” His brows drew toward each other and he frowned. “How did they die, in an accident?”
She shook her head no. He handed the glasses to her, and she put them on as she explained, “He came home and caught them in the bedroom. The kids were at my mom’s house because Lola was supposed to be at work. Warren had hired someone to tail her. He suspected, and it was confirmed. He came home and killed them both; he shot them in the bed and then committed suicide. His parents left Georgia, disowning the kids in the process. My parents were bombarded by the media. People came from all over to cover the story. After the funeral, we thought it would stop, but a small town is unforgiving of a scandal this size. It wasn’t fair for Brice and Savannah to grow up as outcasts because of it.”
She let out a long hard breath. The more she talked the easier it was to unload. “I didn’t know what to do. I mean they both left the children to me in their wills. I knew Warren. I… liked him. I had no idea he had that kind of faith in me. I had no idea Lola had that kind of faith in me. I mean it made more sense to give them to our parents. They raised us. I mean, here I am in school one day and driving across the country with two children the next. I drove and drove and then… I saw this huge eighteen-wheeler make a left at a stop light, and it was beautiful. It was a scene of Montana. I called my mother and told her we were moving to Montana immediately. She called my aunt and the vine of phone calls worked until I got the number to the women’s shelter, and here we are. Instead of going to my aunt in Texas, we came here. The place that saved us is now going under, and the reason I ran to begin with is catching up to us. I lied about so much to get us here and now look at me. What am I going to do?”
“You’re going to marry me and move in here. You can raise the kids and get to know them in truth. They need to know the truth, Layla. You can’t hide it from them,” he stated, so sure of himself and his convictions.
“Help me forget all this, Rafe. If just for a while, help me forget for an hour or two, one night when I can be Layla, just me, free.” Making a bold move, she kissed him. Layla grabbed his head and pulled him in tight not giving him the chance to protest or question her, or heaven forbid, propose again. She couldn’t marry him. She wouldn’t. She promised her parents she would never risk the children with a man again, and Rafe was the kind of man that took all of a woman or nothing at all.
He pulled out of her grip. “Are you going to marry me?”
“I…” Her head shook no.
“Then we can’t do this, and I won’t ask again. Three times is two times too many.” Rafe stood up and looked down at her. “I want you. I want them, but I won’t hurt them and myself anymore by continuing this charade if you have no plans of ever wanting me.”
She gulped. A tear streaked her eye, but she didn’t say anything. Fear gripped her heart and threatened to stop it. “You don’t understand. I can’t.”
“Goodbye, Layla. Please tell them the truth. At least tell them the truth, since you won’t be honest with me.” Rafe turned and walked to the door. He didn’t look back.
She sat there stunned.
Chapter 4
Enough was enough, and he had had enough already! Rafe left her at his house and headed into town. He wasn’t much of a drinker, but he needed something to take the edge off right now. Walking out the door was one of the hardest things he ever had to do. Life with Layla was the goal, two kids, maybe a few of their own to add in the mix. Life with Layla was an impossible dream, and he would not put those kids through another day of him being around just to be let down in a few years when she moved on to someone, or now that he knew part of the truth, somewhere else.
He punched the radio buttons and found a loud screaming rock station. His foot hit the pedal, and he was burning rubber down his driveway and then throwing up gravel as he hit the path out of the Johnson Family Ranch compound.
* * *
“Rafe!” Lucky shouted as he walked in the door. Everything about Lucky exuded youth and freedom. “Come on back.”
“How the hell are you?” Rafe smacked the young man on his back and followed him to the corner booth. Three lovely young things were waiting on him.
“How does it look?” Lucky laughed. Rafe shook his head and took a seat next to the brunette.
“Are you a rodeo cowboy, too?” She beamed at him with open admiration. How long had it been since a woman looked at him with such happiness?
“Oh, I don’t know about that.” Rafe shrugged. “I’m Rafe, you are?”
“Alexandra, but everyone calls me Lexi.” Lexi batted fully lashed brown eyes at him and licked her pretty pink lips. She was a cute little thing. Not as tall as Layla, certainly she was more voluptuous than Layla.
“It’s nice to meet you,” Rafe offered.
“So,” Lucky interrupted. “What brings you out tonight? I hardly see you anymore when I get back this way.”
“I’ve been busy.” Rafe left it at that. If he was going to drown his sorrows in booze and a busty brunette, he didn’t need to tell everyone he had been babysitting two great kids for one impossible woman. “But I have a lot of time now.”
“Are you thinking about riding this weekend?” Lucky asked then started before he could respond, “Ladies, Rafe here taught me everything I know about riding. I owe my sponsorship to him. I’d have been a math teacher if I hadn’t gotten into this life.”
The girls laughed. Rafe looked at Lucky. Lucky continued, “Three plus one can be a lot of fun, but three plus two equals more time for just a few.”
“That was terrible.” Lexi laughed at Lucky’s rhyme.
The girls on his side of the table were twins. They were platinum blonde, big busted, and not very bright by the look of things.
“Wow. I would love to be able to do math without a calculator,” blonde number one said.
“Rafe, this is Mercedes and Porsche,” Lucky said and Rafe could tell he used all energy to remain serious while saying it. “Their daddy owns a… what was it again?”
“A car dealership down in Phoenix. We’re up here for vacation. We wanted to meet some new cowboys. We’re tired of Arizona and Texas cowboys. All they want to do is ride, work, train, work. I mean how much work does a man have to do these days?” Porsche, blonde number two, said.
“Our daddy doesn’t work that much and he always made sure we had whatever we wanted. When they said we couldn’t go skiing in the middle of the school year, he got us a tutor and we were home schooled. It just ain’t right to make a girl miss vacation,” Mercedes added.
Lucky made a face and Lexi laughed.
“What about you? Were you home schooled, too?” Rafe asked.
“No. I study biology at The University of North Carolina. I just met Lucky, and these two came to meet him also, and then you showed up, so now I am just waiting to see what happens next.” Lexi laughed. “This is turning out to be a pretty good vacation.”
All Rafe heard was Lucky and vacation, and he knew he was not going to be taking this one anywhere tonight.
Lucky smiled at the girl and winked then looked at Rafe. “So what’s it going to be old man? You gonna ride or what?”
“I don’t know. First, I’m gonna take this gal right here on the dance floor. Then I’ll decide if I’m going to take your money this weekend.” Rafe offered a hand to Lexi. Excited she took it and then they were on their way to the floor. He looked back at Lucky and the twins. One plus two equals a choice in dance partners, and Lucky was not having much luck with the math.
“Biology. That must be fun,” Rafe said as he pulled Lexi in close for a slow dance.
“It’s all right. I mean I mainly study marine life, and I am really interested in the coral reefs… I’m sorry. You don’t want to hear a
bout all that. It’s why I rarely get dates back home. No one wants a geeky girl.” Lexi looked back toward Lucky and the blondes. “He is out of my league, isn’t he?”
“You’re out of his, sweetheart. If I know one thing, I know ladies, and Lucky is still sewing wild oats. Now, if you want a one-night stand, he’d be up for it. I know him well enough to know that. But do you really want that?” Rafe watched her big brown eyes turn sad in concentration. “You’re a beautiful young lady, and you can have your pick of guys. Maybe you’re just fishing in the wrong pools.”
She nodded. “I guess I do tend to look for…”
“People who are not available, or people you think are attractive? You look for that because you want to be them, not because you want them. But let me tell you this, I think you are pretty, and smart, and you can do a whole lot better than a one night stand in Montana on this vacation.” Rafe knew women. He knew Layla really did want to marry him, he knew Chance loved Heath, he knew Jack loved Bethany, and he knew his little sister Jan and her husband Buck would last a lifetime. He also knew this little thing in his arms was hoping to wrangle herself a wild stallion, but he also knew deep in her heart she would feel worse for it, not better.
“You’re right,” she whispered. “So I guess you’re not trying to pick me up either, huh?”
“Oh, he is trying to pick you up, make no mistake. Lucky likes to be chased. You want someone who is interested in more than just a one night stand.” Rafe looked around the room. He saw someone he thought might actually have an interest in her. “Now that one over there, he’s the town sheriff. That is a guy who could show you Montana and one you might not want to leave. He’s about thirty though; Roy just can’t seem to find a woman who cares about the things he cares about.”
“What does he care about?” She looked at him while Rafe moved them closer to where Roy was sitting, all alone, with one bottle of beer.
“The lakes, conservation of the land and preserving the wildlife here.” Roy took a lot of flak from some people, but Rafe and others who grew up respecting the bounty of Mother Nature understood him completely.
“Really?” Lexi was genuinely interested. “I’m twenty-four. That’s not a terribly large gap in age, is it?”
“Nah.” Rafe laughed as the song stopped, and Lexi practically slid from his arms and walked in Roy’s direction. “Not at all.”
“Rafe. What the fuck? Where is my girl going?” Lucky started after Lexi, but Rafe caught him by the shoulder.
“Come on, Lucky, you know you weren’t really interested in her anyways.”
“I could have been.” Lucky turned easily and headed to another table away from the twins. “You didn’t have to leave me with those two. Sheesh, I thought I was dumb sometimes. Those two better hope their daddy leaves them enough money to plow through the rest of their lives.”
“I’m sure he will get a tutor for them.” Rafe laughed. “So tell me about this weekend.”
* * *
Layla stayed in Rafe’s house. She didn’t have much of a choice since he left her there, and she didn’t have transportation with her. She wasn’t about to go to any of his family and ask them for a ride back to her place. After crying, she did what any girl should do, she called her mother. Another hour or two of crying, and she was done. Her mother gave her the answers she needed to hear. She gave her permission to live her life again, not Lola’s. She realized that everyone had been holding on to the past and living the charade for the sake of the children, but the children were not fooled.
Boredom is what got the best of her. Layla explored the house, noticed the rugs, the hardwood floors, the railing to the rooms upstairs. Once she was there, everything became clear. Rafe wasn’t really asking her to marry him because of the heat in one moment of their lives. The rooms were set up for Brice and Savannah, and he must have been working on them since shortly after they met. What a fool she had been. Or was she? Rafe loved the children, and she loved Rafe, but did Rafe love her, and really how could he? Aside from the children, he didn’t really know her.
* * *
Maybe he didn’t know she was still there. He came in, tossed his keys on the counter, and then headed into his bedroom. Layla heard every move as she got up from the bed in Savannah’s room and made her way down the stairs. “Rafe?”
He didn’t answer.
She walked through the darkness feeling the walls for a light switch. When she got to the next doorway, her hand crossed a solid mass of flesh and chest hair. “Rafe.”
“What the hell are you still doing here?” he asked. She sniffed, hoped he was drunk, but no luck. She should have known better. He wasn’t the kind of man to drink and drive. He was sober and still sore about earlier. She understood but hoped he would have softened enough to talk by now.
“I didn’t have a way home, remember?” Instead of letting him go, she placed her other hand on his chest. She could see him in shadows and light from the bedroom close to where they were standing. He probably couldn’t see her at all. “Rafe, I need to tell you…”
“You don’t need to tell me anything. I’m done with it, Layla.” His words stabbed like ice picks.
Boldly, aware that he may reject her but desperate to make him more agreeable once again, she stroked her hand down his chest, over his abs, and into his boxer shorts.
“Layla,” he warned, but she could feel his length thicken in her hand.
“Shhh,” she said and dropped to her knees.
It was too much for him to deny her since he would really be denying them both. Rafe wanted her; his body didn’t lie. Pulling his briefs down as she slid into a better position, Layla hoped she could keep steady hands and not seem as nervous as she truly was.
“This doesn’t change anything,” he said weakly.
“I know,” she lied.
Chapter 5
He had expected her to go get the children and ask Heath to take her home. He had not expected her to wait at his house for him to return. He definitely did not expect her to reach into his briefs. The touch made his body betray his intentions and then she dropped to her knees. He was mad, yes. However, he was also a man, and when the woman he had longed for and loved for so long got on her knees with his cock in her hand, he let her. Hell, he deserved this. He deserved one last roll in the hay. Maybe this would really show her how good it could have been.
Her breath caressed the head, and his eyes closed. Maybe this would show him just how badly he was going to miss her. Not what he was planning at all.
Layla inhaled one more deep breath then opened her mouth and took him inside. It had been years since she had been intimate with a man. College away from Lola had given her a little bit of freedom, a chance to meet someone and not fear her sister stealing him away. She was always careful, not like she was being now. The taste of Rafe beat the hell out of the taste of latex any day. This wasn’t something she had ever enjoyed before, but now, listening to his breathing, the sound of her mouth and his skin, the soft moans of pleasure he obviously tried to hold back, she felt as if she had power.
The rush consumed her. She placed her hands on his thighs and felt the muscles beneath her fingers tense. She let him slide deeper, farther back than she thought possible. His hands betrayed his anger and pulled her hair up and away from her face. Her glasses slid on her nose just slightly from the rocking motion.
She pulled back, and her lips made a popping sound as they left his cock. She wasn’t finished with him, but her jaw was feeling tight, and she needed to flex the muscles.
“Layla,” he started in a near whisper.
Layla didn’t want to give him the chance to change his mind. She opened her mouth and took him in again. His right knee bent and his head fell back. She sucked, licked, and took him in as far as she could without gagging.
His entire body changed. His knee locked back in place, and his hands left her hair and gripped her shoulders. He pushed her back far enough she couldn’t keep him in her mouth. “Rafe, I
want to…”
“Stand up.” He didn’t ask, he commanded as he practically pulled her off the floor. As she stood, he embraced her in a rough and demanding hug. His lips came down on hers with an urgency she had never known in Rafe. He was always gentle, easy. Now he was more like a caveman ready to knock her out and drag her back to his bedroom. She met him with equal intensity. “Damn it!”
He walked them to the bedroom stepping out of his briefs somewhere along the line. When he sat her on her feet again, he seemed angry. At her or himself she couldn’t tell. “Take your clothes off.”
She didn’t like him this way, but she deserved the distance he was trying to put up between them. Nervously she undressed as he searched through his dresser drawer for a box of condoms. The moonlight filtered in through the window and silhouetted his gorgeous body. This was Rafe, she reminded herself. Even if he was mad right now, he wouldn’t hurt her. She took a deep breath and then lay back on his bed. Completely naked, completely open to him.
Rafe turned back toward her expecting something else. Instead of scaring her, making her feel more distant, possibly making her run, because he was having a hard time keeping himself from wanting to propose marriage again, she had opened up even more and practically welcomed him to do as he pleased. He would not give her the satisfaction of breaking him tonight. “Turn over.”
Her eyes widened, and he fought the smile. She wasn’t expecting that. She was hoping for more kissing, more licking, more of him pleasing her, but he was not going to give in that easily. He had spent months at her beck and call, for what, multiple rejections and a broken heart.
He wanted so terribly bad to be like Lucky for one night; free of the woman in his bed come morning. As he positioned himself behind her, he felt her body tense. Did she think he would hurt her? Even though he was mad, hurt, and frustrated, he wouldn’t hurt her. Guilt got the best of him, and he let his hands stroke her back first. She relaxed. He realized how much weight she had lost since he met her. He couldn’t tell under the clothes she wore, and he was too preoccupied the first time they had sex with the fact she was letting him near her he didn’t care or notice.
