by Coleen Kwan
“I…haven’t decided that yet.”
She dipped her head to hide her scars from his sight. That was the first time she’d ever done that to him. He reached out to her chin and tilted her face back to him.
“Don’t ever hide yourself from me like that,” he said roughly. “I’m not your pernickety spouse. To me your face is perfect. Perfect, I tell you.”
A tide of colour rose in her cheeks. “Now who is the fanciful one?”
He brushed his thumb over the dimple in her chin, relishing the feel of her warm skin and delicate bone structure. “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. If your boy flinches at the sight of your scars, then he is not worth having.”
“Perhaps, but…” She chewed her lower lip pensively. “Perhaps I will write him a letter first.”
“A letter? That is hardly the way to confront him.”
“But I have no desire for confrontation or accusation. I wish only to know the truth.”
Reluctantly Julian released her chin and tucked his hand into his trouser pocket. He would never stand a chance with Nellie if she continued to harbour these conflicted feelings for Phillip. Once and for all the truth had to be wheedled out of Phillip, and without the need for Nellie to show herself.
“I have an idea on how we could trick Phillip into revealing himself,” he said, “but you may not approve.”
She glanced up, her interest piqued. “Oh? Why not?”
“It involves Madame Olga.”
“I see. Well, go on.”
As he proceeded to outline his plan, she remained silent, only the startled flickering in her eyes showing her response. Finally he stopped. Her furrowed brow did not auger well for her reaction.
“Well, what do you think?” he prompted when he grew tired of waiting.
“I think your plan is quite outlandish.”
“I hardly think insults are—”
“And I approve.”
He blinked. “You do?”
“Yes. Yes, I think it’s so peculiar it just might work.”
He rocked back and forth on his heels. “Ah. Well. A lot depends on you, you realise. You will have to give quite a performance.”
“Indeed. I’ll take instruction from Madame Olga and practice my part thoroughly.” For a few more moments she contemplated his plan, and when she lifted her gaze to him there was suffusing warmth in her eyes. “Oh, Julian, you’re brilliant. This has given me fresh hope.”
The glimmer in her moss-green eyes lit a spark in him. Without warning, desire rippled through his veins, causing his fingers to tremble, but he made himself give her a bland smile. “At least you will have a resolution of sorts.”
She moved forward and touched his arm. “You’re so ingenious. I never would have thought of such a scheme. In fact, you’ve done so much for me already. Thank you, Julian.”
Leaning forward, she rose on tiptoe and planted a light kiss on his cheek. For a split second he just stood there, transfixed by her action. A moment later, his body responded viscerally, and he wrapped an arm around her waist and slid his mouth over hers. She made a tiny gasp, and he feared she would pull away, but then her lips softened and yielded against his, and it felt as though the blazing summer sun had burst through. The honey of her kiss poured out like hot lava through him, surging to every region. It was as if he’d been frozen for eons, and now the heat of her mouth was flooding his body, dissolving all the ice.
Lifting his hand to the back of her neck, he cradled her head as he bent her over his arm and ravished her mouth once more. Her fingernails dug into the sleeves of his coat. For a moment it seemed she was about to rip herself away, but instead she pulled him closer, so close their bodies were plastered together and he could feel every delicious inch of her. The mounds of her breast pressed urgently against his chest, the layers of cloth between them insufficient to disguise the hardening of her nipples. The discovery of her arousal only fed his own. He plundered her lips once more, only to find her tongue sliding into his mouth, shy and teasing and lascivious all at the same time. His heart leaped. How sensual and abandoned she was! Sweet and carnal, adorable and voluptuous, she was an intoxicating concoction that went straight to his head. He tasted her tongue and penetrated her mouth, all the while conscious of the pounding need building in his body. The tightening of his trousers came as no surprise. By heaven, he was in the grip of an unaccustomed fervour! He’d long ago discarded his chasteness, but Nellie in his arms triggered new sensations of such overwhelming power he wasn’t sure he could control them.
Lifting his head, he gazed down at her. Their panting breaths rose in the still air and mingled with the steam rising from their heated bodies. Nellie’s face was flushed with ardour, her lips swollen and wet and utterly enticing. Her glittering green eyes and striped cheeks gave her the exotic allure of a feline in heat, and the need to get her naked and on her back clawed at him like a ravenous beast.
“Nellie,” he groaned, smoothing his hands over her hair as he battled to control his primitive desires. “I didn’t mean to… You took me by surprise…”
“I am a shameless wanton,” she whispered back. As her hands moved feverishly over his chest, her spurs unsheathed and caught in the soft fabric of his shirt, tearing a rent at his collar. She sucked in a breath, then bent her head and licked at the patch of bare skin exposed.
Julian inhaled as the warm moist tip of her tongue swirled over his skin. “Sweet Jesus, don’t stop.”
She laved him again, her tongue and claws switching between playful and greedy. Sensations spiralled out of him, layer upon layer. He lanced his fingers through her tumbled hair, and the silkiness of her curls sharpened the pleasure of her lapping tongue. As the edge of her teeth nipped at his flesh, she drew back, dazed and panting.
“I—I don’t know what came over me. I didn’t mean to bite—”
“Don’t apologise, my sweet. I want to feast on you too. Every inch of you.”
Her eyes widened, but she did not seem appalled by his suggestion. “I don’t—I’ve never…” She licked her lips nervously, and the sight of her wet mouth made the blood pound harder in his loins.
She’d never experienced such an explosion of desire, he conjectured. Never felt such primitive lust. Well, neither had he, despite his former experience. This was something new, something altogether different, for both of them.
“Yes,” he murmured against her mouth. “I understand. This is unfamiliar for me too.”
This time the heat of his kiss flared even higher. She didn’t shrink away but wound her arms around his neck and pulled him closer. Spurred on, he slipped his hand down her back, following the contours of her spine until he reached her bottom, where he squeezed her flesh through her skirts. She let out a miniscule squeak against his lips as her buttocks perked in delightful fashion beneath his greedy grip. Before he knew what he was doing, his hand lifted the hem of her skirts and sought out her leg. A rounded knee was the first thing he encountered. He smoothed his hand northwards over her cotton drawers and closed his palm around the firm mound of her derriere. The heat of her flesh radiated through the thin material like fire.
“Nellie, sweet Nellie. You are Venus come to tempt me sorely.”
Though lust hazed his brain, he hung on to the remnants of his self-control. Nellie was not her usual self, understandable after the events of the night, and he had to be mindful of this though she clung to him and kissed him with wild abandon. He had to maintain command of the situation. But even as he thought this, his exploration of her bottom drew his hand to the cleft between her buttocks, and to his enchantment he discovered her drawers were of the open-crotch variety. Without pause, his fingers slipped involuntarily through the opening and sought out the sweet moistness between her thighs.
Nellie exclaimed, her fingers digging into his shoulders as she first tensed then slowly relaxed against him. Heat shot through him as he caressed her slick folds. He could no more stop himself as fly through the air. Indeed, his heart h
ammered so hard he feared his ribs would burst. He felt as though he were drowning in her melting, dizzying temptation. Moaning softly, she shifted her legs, rubbing herself against his urgent fingers. Sweet lover mine. How ravishing she looked with her head thrown back, her hair wild and her breasts heaving.
His gaze flickered to the stairs leading up to the hayloft. It would take a matter of seconds to get her upstairs, and once up there they would tear off their clothes, and she would recline naked on a pile of hay and spread her thighs wide. His crotch swelled even harder, the urge for release biting at him. His hand tightened on her bare thigh; he could practically feel himself thrusting into her.
Then his gaze fell upon her dazed and trusting face, and shame pricked him. Good God, Nellie was special and precious to him. She was no amiable tart to be carelessly tumbled in the stable. She deserved rubies and emeralds, the stars and the moon, everything her heart desired and more. And he wanted more, too. More than a befuddled coupling at midnight, he wanted her trust and regard, and groping at her like a lust-addled satyr was no way to win her esteem.
Slowly he withdrew his hand from her legs. He straightened her ruffled skirts and buttoned her jacket, all the while trying to ignore his baying, boiling need.
“Julian?” Nellie asked, her voice shaky. “What… Is something amiss?”
“Yes.” His hands shook as he smoothed her curls. The lure of her red mouth was almost too much. “I should not have fondled you like that. It was uncouth and brutish.”
Her mouth formed an O of astonishment. “You didn’t enjoy it?”
“Of course I enjoyed it!” To curb his frustration, he turned back to the horses and snatched up the forgotten pail. “I enjoyed it too much, that is the problem.”
He marched to the pump in the corner and filled the pail. When he returned to his mare, Nellie was still standing there, her fingers twisted together. “Julian, I am as much to blame as you.”
Blame. Why did she have to put it like that? “Look, why don’t we forget it happened? Least said, soonest mended.”
“Is that what you want to do? Forget it?”
Scowling, he dumped the water pail in front of his mare. “I don’t want to forget it, but for now it’s probably best, what with all your…dilemmas.”
She fingered the loose ends of her hair for a while. “I suppose you are right. While I’m all at sea, it would not be fair to you.”
“I don’t give a fig about fairness.” He grabbed a couple of blankets and threw them over the horses. “And I make no bones that I’d like you in my bed, but if that does happen, I want it to be your conscious, measured decision, not a temporary lack of judgement.”
“You—you make it sound so dispassionate.”
“Don’t worry. If the time comes, I’ll have plenty of passion to show.”
He turned his back on her, as there were limits to his self-control, and he was beginning to regret not taking her by the hand and leading her up to the hayloft. If it weren’t for his damned principles, by now they would both be buck naked and he’d be in seventh heaven.
He busied himself securing the blankets. When he looked up, Nellie had disappeared, leaving behind only a tantalising trace of her scent. He uttered a curse under his breath, and his mare whickered in response.
“At least you will be sleeping comfortable tonight,” he muttered into her ears.
The freshly lit fire gave off a flickering illumination over Julian’s bedroom. The air was growing warm, but beneath the crisp sheets goose bumps dappled Nellie’s skin. Sheer nerves. Even now, lying naked in Julian’s bed, she couldn’t quite believe what she’d done. What she was about to do.
Her gaze darted about the room. This wasn’t her first visit to Julian’s chamber. A few days ago, with the aid of Mrs. Tibbet, she’d given the room a thorough going-over. The carpet had been beaten to within an inch of its life, the windows and curtains had been washed, and the furniture waxed and polished. At the time, her only thought had been to provide Julian with the comfortable, clean room he deserved; she’d never dreamed she’d be bold enough to visit his chamber in the role of seductress.
Was this the right way to go about things? When it came to the seduction of men, she was an ingénue, and Julian was far more experienced than she. Would he find her sufficiently alluring? She’d brushed her hair until it gleamed like copper, and she’d washed the dirt and mud from her body and rubbed rosewater over her skin, and now she lay in Julian’s bed with her hair fanned out over the pillows. But was that enough? She had no diaphanous negligee or French perfume or artful skills. Nothing but her body and her burning desire. Would that satisfy a man like Julian? Perhaps she should—
The door latch clicked and Julian walked into the room. As soon as he saw her, he stopped short, his eyes widening.
“Well.” He shut the door and moved to the foot of the bed, his steps slow and deliberate. “I did not expect this.”
She held the sheet up beneath her chin as her bravado rapidly deserted her. “Um, if you would rather I leave…”
“Oh, no.” His eyes gleamed like jet, possessing her. “If I’d known you were here waiting for me, I’d have been much speedier.”
Her heartbeat quickened. Down in the stables it had been so easy and natural to fall into his arms and kiss him, but here, in the intimate confines of his bedchamber with his personal effects around them, it was a different matter.
As he pulled off his jacket, he continued, “I take it this is your considered decision?”
“I, er, yes, it is. My—my considered, measured decision.”
“I’m glad.” Next came his boots. She jerked in alarm as they went flying across the floor. “What has brought this about?”
He had good cause to ask, she conceded. Once, she had been too puritanical, and now she sat in an unmarried man’s bed without a stitch on. What had effected such a turnabout? “I’m not the same person anymore,” she answered slowly, choosing her words with care. “The old Nellie Barchester is no more, the new one is still in the making, and for now I am…in transition. I know not what I’ll become, but the feelings I have for you—the emotions you stir in me—they are so urgent and powerful that I cannot deny them.” She paused to lick her lips as her thoughts churned. “Julian, you are a force of nature I cannot withstand, nor do I wish to. For this one night, and this night alone, I wish to…to escape from all other ties and simply be with you.”
His chest rose and fell with the force of his breathing. His gaze pinned her to the pillows. “You wish to forget everything else?”
“Yes.”
“Are you nervous?”
“A little,” she confessed. “No, more than a little.”
His mobile mouth lifted at one corner. “So am I.”
“You?” She found her lips twitching in response. “I find that difficult to believe.”
His eyes darkened as he bent over her. “Believe it, my dear Nellie.”
The resonance in his voice shook her, and she knew she’d never regret her decision. Whatever happened in the future, she would have this night with Julian. This night was an interlude from the past and the future, an escape from reality, a dream carved out of time. And Julian was her dream lover, the man of all her erotic fantasies. Eager to touch him, she sat up, and the sheet fell away, revealing her bare body.
Julian sucked in a deep breath as his sight riveted on her exposed breasts. “Be careful, my crumpet. I’m only human.”
She breathed heavily, stimulated by his frank admiration. “If you do not get rid of those clothes of yours, I shall be forced to use my claws on you.”
In a matter of seconds he shucked off the rest of his clothes, then tossed back the sheet to take his fill of her naked length. Instead of pulling her into his arms as she expected, he drifted his fingers over the scars that peppered her chest and shoulders. Unhurried, he moved to her face and lovingly stroked the marks crisscrossing her cheeks, his touch almost reverent. In the reflected glow of his eyes, she felt
infinitely beautiful and precious. Her heart swelled. How fortunate to receive such tenderness from such a man. Impatient for more physical contact, she twisted up onto her knees and curled her arms around his neck. Mildness gave way to animal appetite. His mouth came down greedily on hers as he toppled her onto her back with his weight. At the first touch of his lips, her senses sang. Their mouths melded together in a fusion of ecstatic heat. The warm scrub of his body against hers ignited her every nerve. He was hard muscle and soft skin, rough hair and delicate fingertips, brute strength and athletic grace. The bulk of his chest rubbed up against her breasts, exciting her nipples to hard peaks.
He was not tentative with her. He cupped one breast and possessed the other with his covetous mouth, his lips and tongue and teeth toying with her nipple. Rings of pleasure rippled out from her nub, joining with the erotic titillation caused by his thumb roughly and urgently caressing the other. She couldn’t control the sensations exploding through her, couldn’t stop—didn’t want to stop—herself arching her back, pressing her breast to Julian’s mouth and begging him for more. She was on a wild ride into the unknown landscape of sensual pleasure, with Julian as her guide. When his lips drifted away from her breast, she almost cried out in frustration, only to realise he was not abandoning her but rather following the map of her curves down to her stomach. He nibbled at her belly while his hands worked their magic on her hips and thighs. Against the white sheets and the paleness of her skin, his body glowed like a river of bronze, licked by the flickering firelight, enticing her to touch. Obeying her instincts, she trailed her fingers over him, exploring every sculpted inch, revelling in his glorious beauty. She traced her lips over him, lapping and sucking at his tangy flavour. Nothing was forbidden, no inhibition held her back. His eyes sparked with devilish humour as he let her have full rein on his body. Only when she’d explored his pulsating erection with her lips and fingers and tongue for several ecstatic minutes did he reluctantly draw her away.
“Now is not the time for that, my darling.”
