by Kylie Walker
“What are we going to do?” she whispered, speaking about something far beyond Rachel and Marnie.
“She called you my girlfriend, just like that?” I said, unable to rip my eyes away from her.
“It was almost too easy,” Quinn replied.
Before I knew it, I leaned toward her and caught her lips between mine. All hesitation, all knowledge that this was a bad idea—off-limits—flew from my brain. Her lips were so soft and supple between mine. I lifted my tongue toward hers, parting her lips, and gliding my tongue across her teeth, inhaling the taste of her. I felt her moan, and it grumbled into my throat, telling me she wanted so much more.
After we had broken the kiss, our noses were pressed together. Our hearts seemed to beat as one. Quinn murmured, “I know this is wrong. This isn’t what you want.”
With my cock throbbing in my pants and my blood rushing against my eardrums, I wasn’t so sure anymore. Drawing her back toward the table, I paid for our food and then led her back to the truck. It now looked tainted, unfamiliar, after so many days staying out west. I wondered if Quinn was unimpressed. But her eyes were like saucers, filled with lust for me, and I started the engine without another thought.
After paying Brittany and I said goodnight I led Quinn to my bedroom. It seemed that our choice to do this again—after each saying that we didn’t want to had ripped us from any feeling of our drunkenness. With more passion than last time, I drew her across the bedspread, kissing her neck, her cheek, that soft spot beside her eye. “Did you sleep in my bed while I was away?” I asked her.
She shook her head no. “I couldn’t handle the smell of you. Thinking I would never be able to have you again,” she whispered.
Overcome with emotion, I reached for her camisole and drew it over her head, revealing her supple breasts, bouncing into my grasp. She looked innocent, bright in the glowing light of the moon that spilled through my window. Bringing my finger across her nipple, I then eased my mouth over it, drawing my tongue across the hard, brown tip. She moaned again, sliding her fingers through my hair. Fuck it felt so good.
With a gruff voice, I said, “You’re the hottest fucking thing I’ve ever seen. I couldn’t stop thinking about you.”
Our motions were quick after that. I pulled her skirt down from her waist, revealing her muscular legs and black panties. She unbuttoned my shirt with nimble fingers, flinging it back from my wide shoulders. Easing her fingers across my coarse, black chest hairs, she gazed into my eyes, showing just how much she needed me.
I ripped the panties from her waist and dove between her legs. Her pussy lips were dripping wet. I found her clit, hard and sensitive, and centered on it, sucking at it and rubbing it with a firm tongue. She brought her legs as far apart as she could. Her lips emitted several soft, long moans, which made my cock draw tighter with blood. Reaching up, she wrapped her hand around the thickness of it, her eyes growing large, as if she remembered, just then, how much I had filled her before.
Drawing my head toward hers again, she kissed me with the softest of lips and then whispered, making me shiver, “I want you inside me.”
Without another word, I thrust myself into her, parting her pink lips and drawing myself into her soft tunnel. She gasped, drawing her hands across my back and ripping her nails into my skin. Bringing her legs around my abdomen, she bit her lip, cradling me, before I began pounding into her, over and over, with a pure animalistic drive. It felt so good to be inside her like I was where I belonged. I wanted to go slow, to savor every inch of her, but I was so overcome with a need to fill her and make her mine. My thrusts were quick and hard, pummeling her from within. Hearing her cry out my name softly in my ear was too much but everything I wanted to hear.
That night, we came in one another’s arms, our eyes linked together as if we no longer truly cared that a million things were in the way of this new relationship. When it was over, we slept soundly, inhaling the air, which smelled like sex and promise and sweat. We didn’t care about what we woke up to, in the light of the morning.
Chapter 14
Quinn
My eyes flickered open at around six in the morning. I found myself wrapped in Tyler’s firm, muscled arms, his hands near my breasts, my body fatigued and spent after a night of lovemaking. I sensed Tyler was still sleeping. I could hear his deep breathing, and then, after a long moment, as reality set in, I felt my heart begin to race with fear.
We’d been tipsy. Lost in each other’s eyes and we had fallen into our lust-filled fantasies, without giving another thought to what would happen in the morning. I sensed that once Tyler realized what had happened, he would say it again and would tell me it couldn’t work between us because there was still too much in the way.
And I couldn’t handle another blow like that. Another humiliation.
“Jesus,” I whispered, drawing myself away from him and allowing my feet to fall to the carpet below. My new lab job started in only two hours, giving me time to drink coffee, to shower and to drive myself to work. I couldn’t stay here and wait for Tyler’s assurance that we would see one another again. I couldn’t allow myself to hope.
Bringing my finger against the firm strain of his bicep, I woke him after I dressed. He blinked at me, confused.
“I have to go to work,” I said. The words were cold. They didn’t ask for anything in return.
“All right,” he said. He drew himself up, leaning against the headboard. A bit of light was streaming in from the window.
“She’s um. She’s done all her homework,” I said then, referring to Rachel.
“Ok,” Tyler said.
The silence hung between us. I felt as if we existed in a vacuum. I couldn’t get the right amount of oxygen. Backing toward the door, I stretched my hand into a wave. Don’t say anything, I told myself. If I tempted him, he might use the space to say he didn’t want me again. That it wasn’t worth it and that everything he’d said about being careful and putting his job and his daughter before everyone else was still valid.
Even in the wake of such emotion.
“Bye—“ I said, then whisked down the hallway, down the steps and into the grass below his bedroom window, bringing Randy with me. I brought my face into my hands and gasped, my air coming in staggers, trying to force myself to take one step, then another, back to my house. Randy nipped at my heels, always a ball of energy. Feeling diligent, I fed him and watched him eat. Already, his muscles were elongating, and he seemed larger. He was more adult than he’d been a week ago.
The lab work was just what I needed. I threw myself into the intricate work, into setting up future experiments with the mice, and in recording what the other scientists had already created. Everett, the operator of the lab, was eager to get to know me, asking me to lunch and telling me about the history of the lab, their connection with other labs across the country, and the fact that he’d spent nearly five years in Switzerland, studying sleep patterns. As we spoke, I kept one eye on my phone the entire time wondering if Tyler would contact me and tell me we’d made a mistake. But the phone remained silent.
At around three that afternoon, I took a break—getting a soda from the machine and sitting in a sunbeam on campus, strewn across a bench. As I sat, sipping, I felt my phone begin to buzz in my pocket. With a lurch, I realized Tyler was calling.
I couldn’t avoid it.
With all the strength I could muster, I answered it. I felt my voice quiver in my throat, making me sound meek, unsure.
“Hello?”
“Quinn,” Tyler said, his voice again dominant—without the sweet tones he’d had that morning. “Everything okay?”
I sighed, bringing my lips together and pressing them tight. How could I answer this? Should I tell him the truth? That I wanted him to be with me?
“Sure,” I said, feeling the inward shrug.
“Great. Um. I have a problem,” he said. “And I’m sorry for asking. But I just got called for a minor emergency back
in San Francisco. They’ve been relying on me with this recent client and I—I can’t just blow them off. Not this early in the game.”
“When do you have to go?” I asked, feeling so far away.
“As soon as possible. The next flight leaves in about two hours. So I need to get to the airport. Which means—“
“You can’t pick up Rachel?” I asked. After a long, heavy pause, I continued. “I can get her from school. She’ll have to hang out in the lab for a bit. But I know she won’t mind.”
“God, thank you,” Tyler said with relief. “Jesus, I can’t tell you how much this means to us. Putting her in Marnie’s care is starting to frighten me, to be honest. Marnie has a lot of power over our custody lawyer. They had a friendship before we even got married, and he tends to believe her over me. I just—“
“Oh,” I remembered. “Marnie had asked if the custody check could be paid early this month. She said there were some extra bills or something?”
Tyler seemed caught off-guard. I kept going, trying to sweeten the awkwardness. “It’s really no trouble,” I said. “Really. Rachel feels safe with me. And I need someone to run around with Randy, anyway.”
“She’s not getting that money,” Tyler growled in response. His anger seemed to grow like a wave, obstructing everything else between us. “No more money. If she can’t handle being her mother…” There was a sudden pause. “Jesus. I’m sorry Quinn.”
A moment later we ended the conversation. My heart ached for both of them. I jumped in my car and drove the few blocks to Rachel’s school bringing my car into the pick-up line and waiting with the other mothers. My blood hummed with confusion, knowing that I was caring more and more for Rachel, but that I wasn’t sure Tyler had space in his heart for me. At least, not yet.
When Rachel saw me and flung her arms around my neck, tears started to drip down her cheeks. I sensed her fatigue, her anger. She was afraid of the kids at school who had nothing better to do but call her names. And she was so, unbearably grateful to have me, rather than Marnie. I dove into that love, feeling it unmatched in any other facet of my life.
All I wanted, at that moment, was to belong to someone. And at that moment, Rachel filled that void.
Chapter 15
Tyler
I felt like I was living a double life. Stretched thin, and tired out from airlines. I found myself back at the airport, ready to bolt across the continent all over again. Glancing at my phone, I remembered the conversation I’d just had with Quinn. I’d ranted like a lunatic about Marnie, sounding probably insane and angry; so unlike the man I truly was. I was falling for this woman. There was no doubt about it.
Would I allow it though?
It seemed too complex to consider, now. I boarded the plane and kept myself busy with work emails, connecting to the business class Internet and prepping for the afternoon of meetings. A new client emergency. My ass! Probably several too many beers with Hank, and then falling into another sterile hotel bed.
“You should probably just get a place out here,” Samantha had joked again, sounding sultry, as if she were telling me to get undressed.
After the long meeting, I met with the other partners and Samantha to divulge what had happened. Miraculously, the client had agreed to our terms, after initially getting cold feet. As I read through my notes, flashing the presentation on the white board, I held their attention.
And when it was over, Hank began to clap. His face was red-blotched as if he’d already slung back a few. Then he said, “Listen, Tyler. I think we need to have a serious chat about your performance here.”
The others nodded their heads, shifting in their chairs. Dropping my finger over the power button, I turned the presentation off, sensing a darkness falling around us.
Then Roger began. He was over sixty and dominant and spoke with the air of someone narrating a documentary. “We know that you took this job with the idea that you would spend the majority of your time out east. But, I’ll tell you, Tyler. In the past few weeks, we’ve been incredibly impressed. The performance at this office has increased dramatically. And for this reason, we’d like to request that you move out west. For good.”
Shit!
I hadn’t expected this.
“Wow,” I began, spreading my hands wide on top of the table. The five of them blinked at me, leaning in close. Samantha’s fingers were poised on top of her laptop, taking rapid notes.
“We didn’t expect it would come to this, either,” Carlos said. “But honestly, we’re going to be moving away from the eastern offices more and more over the coming years. And the money is over here, in the west. Your problem, I take it, is with your daughter? You don’t want to uproot her?”
“Yes, it is,” I said, shrugging slightly.
“With the money, you’ll be making over here; you can send her to some of the best schools in the city. You mentioned she’s interested in science? You can send her to one that will basically fast-track her into whatever field she’s into. Medical, research, whatever. You can afford to send her on a fucking safari to study elephants, you know? You should consider that before you say no.”
Exhaling deeply, I glanced toward the wide floor-to-ceiling window, which stretched out toward the bay. With one, single flash, I felt I could see our entire future out west, away from the treachery of her mother; far from those kids who wouldn’t stop teasing her.
“I’ll have to speak to her about it,” I responded. After a long, empty pause, I added, “But honestly, guys. It sounds like it’s probably the right move.”
Standing up, I shook each of their hands, avoiding eye contact with Samantha. I spun out of the room, thinking about an evening alone, perhaps with a burrito and beer, simmering the events of the previous day.
This career move would be beneficial for all of us. It would negate the need to send Marnie all those horrible ‘custody’ checks (which I knew she spent on gambling). And it would help Rachel on her quest to rule the world.
But—and I hated that this thought even formed in my mind—what would happen to Quinn?
She was gradually becoming a part of our family even in the short time we had known her. The person I called when I was stuck.
The person I’d wrapped my firm arms around at night, inhaling the gorgeous scent of her hair that left me absolutely intoxicated and wanted more of her.
Could I really cut off the first relationship I’d had in the years since my divorce? What was the point of life, if I couldn’t accept love? What was the point if I didn’t pay attention, when a chance at living again reared its gorgeous head and requested my love, in return?
But in reality, I knew Quinn was in no position for this. She’d just been deceived. Her opinion of love was slight, if in any way existent, as she tried to repair herself after her boyfriend had cheated on her.
I didn’t know what to do about us, or if there was even an ‘us’ to consider. And so I spent the evening alone, nibbling a burrito and sipping a beer. Knowing that across the continent, Rachel and Quinn were collapsed in front of my television, each of them anticipating my return for very different reasons. My damn heart ached for both of them.
Chapter 16
Quinn
After a brief altercation with Marnie, over the phone, I dropped Rachel off at her mother’s on Tuesday evening—hating the look of dread that spread across Rachel’s face. Dropping her book bag along with her elbows, she gazed up at me, frustration was written all over her face. “She’s not even going to pay attention to me while I’m there,” she whispered as if she were telling me a secret. “And you know my dad doesn’t mind that you’re watching me. He prefers it.”
“I know, honey,” I said, leaning down and catching her shoulders. Her eyes were pure, sizzling with a kind of magic I couldn’t describe. Hope for a different life, maybe. “But she’s your mom. And she loves you, you know?”
Marnie ripped open the door, mid-conversation, and gave us a glimmering smile.
She reeked of cigarettes, the whole place did, and it wafted in my nose, making me cough. Pressing my hand against Rachel’s back, I eased her into the house.
“Quinn, darling,” Marnie said. “It’s good that you brought her over here. I don’t know what I would do if I had to spend another week away from her. We normally don’t go this long, now, do we sweetheart?”
Rachel didn’t answer. Marnie spun her eyes toward me, transitioning the conversation. “I don’t suppose you spoke with Tyler about what we discussed?”
The custody money. Shivering slightly, I watched as Rachel scampered inside, past her stepfather and into her room upstairs. A moment later, the radio blared with new pop songs she liked.
“You don’t mind if I come in, do you?” I asked.
Marnie raised a questioning eyebrow. “Oh. Sure,” she began, cranking the door open a bit wider.
“It’s just. You and I are going to have to work together anyway,” I continued, speaking delicately. “And I’d love to get to know you.”
In reality, I knew that Tyler and I weren’t in the least bit official. We’d slept together exactly twice, and now I was doing him favor after favor, and for what? Was it all based on my feelings for Rachel?
Was it simply because, as a scientist, I wanted to work, continually, for the goodness of the world?
In the kitchen, Marnie poured us two glasses of cheap chardonnay, then guzzled half of hers. I sensed my presence made her nervous. She leaned back against the refrigerator, blinking her strange, fish eyes at me.
“So. How was it that you met Tyler, anyway?” she asked.
The question caught me off-guard. Stumbling into it, I mumbled, “Oh. When I moved to Raleigh, that’s when we—“
“And where? Don’t you have a good story? A cute meeting?” she asked, her voice growing snarky. Her anxiety was lessening as I gave her more power.
