I’m not so confident that’s going to go very well because, without Savannah’s sound advice, I’m bound to do something extremely stupid. When it comes to Dixon, I become a completely different person around him. I don’t know if that’s a good thing or a bad thing. For now, I’m leaning towards the latter.
Chapter Two
Dixon
I managed to fall asleep for all of maybe twenty minutes before I was back up and wide awake. I’m tired as all hell, but my brain just won’t shut off and let me sleep. All I can think about is Kayden and Savannah. The security breach at the Beaumont Offices building. And then of course Brooklyn. She has crawled into my damn head and refused to get the hell out.
This is not how I imagined this evening going at all. Who the fuck kidnaps people? I pray those cops find that piece of shit before Kayden does. I know if they don’t, that kid will be leaving in the back of a Hurst and not a cop car.
Now being here with Kayden and Brooklyn, it’s too much. It was hard enough being by Kayden’s side when he was losing Melody. I don’t know if I can stand by and watch the past repeat itself. It’s too hard. I feel like an asshole because all I can think about is how I can get out of here as soon as possible. But I can’t stand by and watch the clock tick by as we all wait for her to wake up or take a turn for the worst.
My plan is to use Kayden being here, and me being needed at the office to get out of here. The other reason I need to get as far away as possible from this hospital room is because of Brooklyn. I don’t even know what the hell I was thinking by flying to Los Angeles to see her. Despite the red flags popping up all over the place, I still fueled-up the jet and flew out there to see her.
I feel it in the pit of my stomach...this guilt twisting inside of me. I knew the minute I gave in and slept with Brooklyn that I making the worst mistake of my life...going against my first instincts to avoid her at all costs. But Brooklyn, like all bad things that we know we shouldn’t want or have, makes me we want her even more. After a hit of her, I was instantly addicted. I tried to ignore the constant cravings I had for her, but they were too intense. So I gave in. The only thing is my plans to fuck her out of my system didn’t go as planned seeing that we had to cut our time together short and fly back to Houston together.
I run my hands over my face and let out a tired yawn. I’m exhausted, but it seems insomnia is my best friend tonight. I don’t know how anyone sleeps with the constant noise of machines. Rolling onto my side, I settle my eyes onto Brooklyn, who looks to be sleeping peacefully beside me.
I’m glad to see her resting. Tonight has taken a toll on her. When she collapsed in my arms and broke down after seeing Savannah, I felt something snap inside of me. I suddenly found myself holding her against me as I tried to soothe her and reassure her that everything was going to be okay. Right there, at that very moment, I knew I was in deep with this girl...deeper than I’ve ever been with anyone in my entire lifetime.
The best thing for Brooklyn and me is to make some distance between us. Let us both regroup and let the high fade that we’ve both been floating on since our hookup the night of the party at Tank’s house.
I lift my gaze over her shoulder and see Kayden staring up at the ceiling too.
“Can’t sleep?” I ask quietly, trying not to wake Brooklyn and, in the process, startling Kayden. His body jolts at the sound of my face.
Exhaling through tightly pressed lips, Kayden fists his hair before turning his attention from the ceiling to me. “Yeah. My mind won’t stop racing. I keep checking my phone for updates from the police. I can’t believe that piece of shit is still out there. We can only hope he’s injured from the wreck and lying in the woods somewhere bleeding profusely and dying a slow painful death.”
I nod silently in agreement. Neither of us say a word for a few minutes as we allow Kayden’s words to linger between us and stir around in our thoughts. The idea of Zak still being out there leaves us all uneasy. Now, knowing Jacob is dead, Zak is going to more than likely want to seek revenge if by chance the lucky SOB is alive and not dying a slow miserable death somewhere on the side of the highway.
Sitting up, I swing my legs over the side of the pull-out bed, and rest my elbows on my knees and ask Kayden, “What do you say we take a walk and find a vending machine or something. We can try to distract ourselves from all of this for at least a little bit.”
“Okay,” Is all he says before climbing out of bed and slipping on his boots.
He walks over to Savannah, stopping beside her bed. It’s hard seeing him like this. He seems so lost and defeated. The usual 'take on the world and knock anyone who stands in my way onto their ass' cousin I’m used to seeing is nowhere to be found. I hate it. Right now, he should be boiling with anger, pouring every ounce of energy of his energy into finding Zak. Hell, we have more money than we know what to do with. He could easy throw money at the police and widen the search party looking for Zak.
I don’t doubt he’s already thrown an obscene amount of money to the doctors, making sure Savannah has only best. He’s only been with her a little over a month, but I can tell what they have is the real deal. He hasn’t been this way with anyone since Lulu. I am praying for him as much as her that she pulls through this because I don’t think Kayden can handle losing another person he loves.
A person can only receive so many blows in their life before they finally give up and lose that will to get back up and continue to fight. One thing Kayden has learned from the heartbreak and devastation he’s endured in this lifetime is life is too short, and you’re never granted tomorrow.
You can have the whole world in the palm of your hands. In a blink of an eye, everything you thought was good and solid turns to water in your hands and slowly slips away with no chances of holding onto it.
He presses a kiss to her forehead and whispers something into her ear before turning around and following me out of the hospital room.
I glance back at Brooklyn and immediately feel the pain in my chest intensify as I force my gaze to leave her as I exit the room. My head is all over the place. A part of me says to look at what Kayden and Savannah have. Hell, I never thought Kayden would find a girl who would mesh so well into his world, but he did. Maybe I could have that with Brooklyn. But then I think about my life and her life. With our two completely different lifestyles, we would be destined for failure. We’ll do each other a favor and stop this train wreck before it happens.
Plus, neither she nor I have any desire to settle down and commit to one person. So I doubt she’ll even care if we go our separate ways. We shared some hot hookups, and it ends at that. Better to stop a good thing while it’s still going well than wait for it to turn into a ticking time bomb that's ready to blow up at any moment, destroying everything in its wake. At least this way, we can continue to be in one another’s lives with Kayden and Savannah without things being awkward.
“So, you and Brooklyn? What’s going on with that?” Kayden’s question, even though I’ve been expecting it, catches me off guard.
I politely smile at the charge nurse as we exit the corridor to the ICU. The minute we push through the double doors and head towards the wall of vending machines, I finally answer him.
“Brooklyn and I are just two people who enjoy fucking one another.” For the first time since we got here, I hear Kayden laugh. It isn’t much. It’s only a light chuckle. But still it’s something. If he has to laugh at my expense, so be it.
“Well, you two do enjoy getting laid. That isn’t news to anyone. The last time I had checked, you were not the least bit interested in her. Hell, you acted as if you couldn’t stand to be around the girl.”
I keep my eyes focused on the array of assorted candy and chips and avoid eye contact. The last thing I need is Kayden calling me out on this messed up situation. If he knew I was getting in deep with Brooklyn, he’d bust my balls then go into the full on ‘You better not fuck with her and make it so she wants to flee the state of Texas forever and blah, bl
ah, blah.’
Punching the buttons, I watch my Snickers bar fall and say a silent prayer that Kayden will drop the topic and focus on the matter at hand: Zak. Not me and who I’m fucking at the moment.
“I don’t have to like someone to enjoy fucking them. Sure, she’s an animal in the bedroom. Other than that, I have no idea. It’s not like I wine and dine her for Christ sake. We hooked up. End of story.”
Kayden claps me on the shoulder before sliding his dollar bill into the machine and lets out another chuckle.
Keep laughing it up, buddy.
“For someone who’s just fucking around, you sure are getting pretty defensive. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you like Brooklyn a little more than just for her skills in the bedroom. You have your pick of any woman in Houston, yet you fly to Los Angeles to get laid?”
I take a massive bite out of my candy bar and glare at Kayden with my best ‘drop it or I’ll beat your ass even if we’re standing in the middle of the hospital’ look before swallowing hard and coming to my own defense.
God, sometimes I seriously hate him. He knows me too well. It gets more annoying the older we get.
“I’m not on the defensive. I just want to make it perfectly clear to you that we are only fucking. We’re not even friends. I don’t need you getting twisted ideas in your head and picturing cutesy double dates and shit. I already decided tonight that we’re done. The last thing I need is her getting mixed signals. Because you know how girls can be. They swear up and down they aren’t looking for a boyfriend and are fine with just hooking up and then all of a sudden they’re getting clingy and jealous. The last thing I want is to cause strain between you and Savannah. She’ll have enough on her plate as will you when she wakes up. Y’all don’t need me adding women drama to the mix. She’s going to need her best friend.”
Kayden’s eyes grow large and a look of stunned shock flashes across his face. “Who the fuck are you? Where the hell did my selfish little prick of a cousin go?” He says with his voice dripping in sarcasm and amusement.
He drapes his arm over my shoulder as we begin to head back towards Savannah’s room.
“Laugh it up asshole. I’m standing here trying to be the bigger man and still ya sit here and bust my damn balls.”
Shaking his head in disbelief, Kayden gives me a sympathetic smile and his eyes turn dark and fill with sadness once again, “I appreciate ya bein’ here right now, Dixon, and looking out for Savannah like you are. I’m not blind. I can see Brooklyn is a gorgeous girl, and I’d think you’d turned gay if you weren’t tryin’ to bone her. But I’m glad that you’re thinking with this head.” He says patting the top of my head before opening his bag of Doritos. “Rather than the other head which you think with ninety-nine point nine percent of the time.”
Now it’s my turn to laugh.
I quickly seal my lips together and give the nurse a slight wave of apology as she glares at us both, shhhing us as we reenter the ICU.
“Don’t get too used to it, bro. Because this is a one-time thing. I don’t take passin’ up pussy lightly. Especially with a girl like her.”
Chapter Three
Brooklyn
I open my eyes as I feel sunshine warming my face. I blink a few times as I slowly wake up. For a moment, I forget where I am and roam my eyes over the walls of the hospital room and quickly remember exactly where I am and why I’m here.
Leaning up, I glance towards Savannah’s hospital bed and spot Kayden immediately. He’s sitting beside Savannah, leaning back casually in the chair with his left foot resting on his right knee while watching a show, but at the same time not watching. He seems like he’s lost in thought, which is understandable considering the circumstances.
I glance around and look for Dixon, but don’t see him anywhere in the room. A pang of sadness hits me as realization dawns on me. I actually miss him and I’m hurt that he isn’t here.
Who the hell have I turned into?
I notice the two beds Kayden and Dixon slept on are all closed back up into chairs as I stand and stretch, trying to ease my aching muscles. These things were definitely made for convenience and not for comfort. I rub at my neck, which is as stiff as Dixon’s dick was just yesterday evening, and slip my flats on at the same time.
“Morning, Kayden. Any change?” I ask as I pad across the tile flooring, causing the short heel of my flats to click clack off of the floor.
My eyes settle on Savannah, who looks just as she had last night. My stomach knots with fear as I run my hand gently over hers, cupping it under mine.
“No change as of yet. But I guess it’s better to have her staying the same rather than having her take a turn for the worse. All we can do is let her know we’re here waiting for her and nothing will change that. We’ll stay by her side until she wakes up.”
I nod in agreement as his words sink in. I can’t help but feel the same way. I’d rather have her stay as she is now at least for the time being at least it means she isn’t being rushed away for more surgeries. I haven’t prayed in I don’t know how long. But right now I feel this overwhelming need to pray, beg, bargain. Whatever it’ll take to get the big guy upstairs to bring my best friend back to me.
“She’s going to wake up. I just know it.” I’m shocked with how well I pulled off sounding so sure of myself just now. Inside I’m quivering with fear that I’ll never get the girl I love like a sister back.
Kayden and I lock eyes momentarily. Without speaking a word, we both see the same thoughts reflecting in one another’s gaze. We’re both terrified that she will never wake up or if she does, she may not be the same person we love. His lips curl up into a weak smile before he shifts, bringing his attention back towards the television.
I plop down in the chair, still holding Savannah’s hand, and close my eyes, savoring the calm silence that’s settled in the room as Kayden gets lost once again in whatever TV show he’s watching.
I take the moment to have a powwow with God. I’d go to the chapel here, but I don’t want to leave Savannah’s side just yet.
Okay, God. I know it’s been way too long since I’ve talked to you and you probably have a lot of people chatting up your ear right now, but I hope you’ll hear me and answer my pleas. I’m not one to beg, but at this moment, I’ll do just about anything because I know if the roll was reversed, Savannah would do the same for me. Even though I know it’ll be hard, I promise to try and be a better Christian and even possibly attend mass sometime in the near future. I haven’t stepped into a church since my Confirmation…well because I was too busy getting laid and partying. But I’m growing up. I know, it's a shocker. I’m just as shocked myself. I’m turning twenty-five this year and still haven’t landed my big break in Hollywood. So I’m making a promise to you now. Save my best friend and bring her back to us and I’ll make it my life’s ambition to be a better Brooklyn in 2013. If I screw up, I hope you’ll cut me some slack because this is...ummm...all really new to me. Mmmkay?
Nice chat, big guy! We should do this more often.
The sound of my phone going off beside me on the stand next to Savannah’s bed brings me out of my thoughts. It’s blasting Move’s Like Jagger alerting me that Reagan is calling me. It was his jam for like ever after it first came out. He would make us listen to it every time we went in his damn car somewhere, so that’s been his special tone on my phone ever since. Now it brings a smile to my face. I remember a few months back, Reagan started bitching about how it’s been a year and I still have that song for him instead of something sexy. He’s always trying to get into my panties one way or another. But that is never gonna happen. Sure he’s sex on a fricking stick, but its Reagan. I swear it’d be incest some way. He’s like a big brother to Savannah and me. We could never cross that line.
I snatch my phone and cringe as a nurse pops her head into the door, “Can we please have all mobile devices set to silence.” Her tone is short and snarky as she makes her way into the room and over to Savannah. I qu
ickly climb out of the chair, giving her room to work.
“Sorry.” I say, giving her and Kayden each a sympathetic smile.
Opening the text, I see that Reagan has landed in Houston along with Rebecca. I’m so glad she was able to come too. I know it’ll mean the world to Savannah being surrounded by her best friends when she needs us all the most.
I type out a quick reply letting her know to message me when he gets here so I can meet him at the entrance of the hospital.
Turning to Kayden, I clear my throat softly to get his attention. Pointing towards the door, I tell him, “I’m going to see if I can find something to eat and some coffee. Do you want anything?” I’d run to a store and get us something better than hospital food but I don’t have a vehicle.
Of course he shakes his head no. Stubborn man. He needs food to keep his strength up. I’ll grab him something and, if I have to, I’ll force feed it to his stubborn ass.
I almost ask where Dixon went, but then stop myself. The last thing I want to do is make myself look clingy and reveal to Kayden that I’m into Dixon more than I’m letting on. I opt to text the asshole instead. I can’t believe he’d leave and not even say a word to me. I guess I was just seeing what I wanted to see when he appeared on my damn doorstep yesterday.
Rubbing the tired out of my eyes, I head down the corridor and look for signs that’ll direct me towards the cafeteria. I catch my reflection in the chrome doors of the hospital elevator and cringe. I’m grateful the place is pretty empty seeing that it’s like seven in the morning.
It dawns on me what the date is as I’m smoothing my hair with my fingers trying to tame the tangled mess. It’s New Year’s Eve. This will be the first year that Savannah and I won’t be wishing each other a 'Happy New Year!' at the stroke of midnight.
We’ve celebrated together every year since we were kids and our parents took turns throwing lavish parties to ring in the New Year. This was going to be the first time since we’ve been best friends that we weren’t going to spend it together. Though we’d planned on calling one another as soon as the clock struck midnight and she finished sucking face with Knox.
Heart of Dixon Page 2
