Chapter 8
Ethan stood at the bottom of the porch, waiting. PJ exited the house and stood on the top step. Even from a distance of five feet away, tension bounced and crackled between them.
“I’m sorry about Chrissy,” he said at last. “Sorry I brought her here and inflicted her on you.”
“Have you been together long?” she asked.
He shook his head. “I had no idea she was so, um, whatever she is. We’ve only been dating a couple of months, and I’m beginning to think the reason she’s been so unavailable is because she’s been trying to hide her true identity from me.”
“Superhero?” PJ guessed.
“Superjerk,” he replied. “Are you going to come down off that porch?” he asked when she made no motion to leave it.
Unaccountably nervous, she pitched around wildly, searching for a distraction. “I promised Ivy I would check her horses tonight. Want to come with me?”
In answer, he held out his hand to her. She slowly descended the steps and gave him her hand. He clasped it in a friendly gesture, allowing their arms to swing lightly between them as they walked.
“Where is she now?” PJ asked. She being Chrissy.
“She sneezed. Convinced she has what everyone else has, she has confined herself to her room for the night.”
“Wow, that must be the fastest-working virus in history,” PJ noted.
Ethan nodded. He should send the virus a thank you note for getting Chrissy out of his hair for an evening. How had he been so wrong about her? On the plus side, now that he knew things were soon going to be over with Chrissy, did that leave him available for PJ?
They reached a horse barn with a fancy-looking security gate. PJ punched in a code with her free hand and led Ethan through. She stopped when she reached a stall, staring intently at a horse. Ethan let go her hand and eased his hand up to rest lightly on the back of her neck.
“You know I’m not going to stay with Chrissy,” he said.
His voice, so low, warm, and soft, turned PJ’s insides to molten lava. Before tonight she never would have guessed that a man’s voice could have such an effect on her.
“There are still barriers between us,” he said, taking a step closer. “But I’m willing to give it a try and see where it goes.”
PJ remained rooted to the spot, staring unblinkingly at the horse.
“PJ,” Ethan whispered, stepping even closer so her back was pressed to his front. “Say something. It’s like you’re petrified.”
“I am,” she choked.
“You are what?” he asked, confused.
“I am petrified.” She turned, so close to him that when he put his arms up she was in his embrace.
“It’s risky, and you’re younger than me, but you’re not a kid. This isn’t your first time around the block.”
She nodded. “It is my first time around the block. In fact, I’ve never been in this neighborhood before.”
Now it was his turn to stare unblinking at her. “What?”
She didn’t reply, not wanting to repeat her embarrassing admission.
“But you’re beautiful.” His whisper was filled with awe, the way one might talk about the Sistine Chapel. His eyes skimmed over her face while the back of his hand pushed a stray strand of hair off her cheek. How was it possible that she had never dated anyone before?
Her eyes darted away from his frank yet flattering assessment. “I guess I’ve been sort of holding out for someone special.”
There it was—the gripping fear that had caused him to back out of so many promising relationships. PJ was supposed to be a fun flirtation, an intriguing challenge in a faraway land. But she wasn’t looking for fun; she was looking for forever. In addition to taking a huge figurative leap back, he dropped his arms and took a literal step away from her.
PJ laughed and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “Note to self: don’t tell a guy you’re looking for forever when he’s making the first move.”
“I’m sorry, I’m not…it’s just that…there’s so much…” Ethan would have floundered longer, but PJ put up a hand to halt him.
“Forget about it, Ethan. I understand, and I feel the same way. I was trying to tell you that I think the two of us together would be a really bad idea. Obviously I’m attracted to you, but we’re looking for two different things.”
No one had ever let him off so easily before, and he had no idea how to respond. Usually when he made his emotional escape, the woman in question followed, reaching for him and trying to reel him back in. No one had ever told him she agreed with him. “Oh, okay then,” he said. “Where does that leave us?”
PJ’s answering smile was enigmatic. “It leaves us where we started: nowhere. You’re a stranger—a cute one—but still a stranger. At the end of your visit, we’ll say goodbye, and I’ll never see you again.” She stood on her toes to peek over his shoulder. “Not to be rude, but the daylight is fading, and I really need to check on Ivy’s horses.”
“Okay,” he said, taken aback by her openness and honesty. Where were the games? Where was the drama? “Goodnight, then.”
“Goodnight,” she called cheerfully. She waited until he was safely out of the barn, and then she turned and pressed her face to the nearest horse, releasing her pent-up tears.
Ethan stumbled back to the house, unaware of his surroundings or his breath which crystallized and hung in the cold night air. What had just happened? Hadn’t he promised himself to turn over a new leaf? Hadn’t he declared that he was looking for forever, too? Why, then, had he practically run away screaming when PJ said the same thing?
Old habits die hard, he thought. Since high school he had fancied himself something of a ladies’ man, moving through a steady stream of girlfriends, always searching for the next best thing. Only in the last few years had the thought of settling down become more and more appealing to him. In fact, he could almost trace the exact moment to the day that Belle had invited him to her quickie elopement. He and her parents had been the only family present because Cam wanted to wait until he returned home to announce his marriage to his brothers.
He had been skeptical of their whirlwind romance, afraid it would end in disaster and divorce. But after observing them together on their wedding day, he realized how well-suited they were to each other. She was the yin to his yang, and vice versa. From that day forward, a secret yearning had started in Ethan. He began looking beyond the superficial when he decided to go out with a woman.
At least he thought he had. But now he was stuck with Chrissy whose depth could fit in a thimble while he ran from PJ whose depth was like an ocean abyss. He paused on the top step and looked back at the horse barn. Should he go tell her he had changed his mind? Should they hash it out tonight and agree to work on something together?
He shook his head. Better to try in the morning when he had a clear head. Later, he would regret waiting.
Christmas With the Kings, Kings of Montana Bonus Book Page 8
