by Robin Nadler
“Here we go,” Lila brought in a little Rubbermaid tub filled with warm water. She placed it down and gently took Eve out, placing her in the water.
“Should we play some music?” David asked.
“They don’t hear things like that.”
He rolled his eyes. “For us. This sitting in silence watching a lizard lay eggs is just weird.”
“She isn’t a lizard.”
“Of course not, because I wouldn’t want to offend her.”
Lila glared at him. “So if the person doesn’t understand an insult it’s okay?”
“This isn’t a person.”
“So she has no feelings?”
“Seriously? Are you seriously asking me if I hurt the feelings of your lizard, or reptile?” He raised his voice in exasperation.
“I can hear you just fine, there is no need to yell,” Lila glared at him.
“You are the most frustrating woman I have ever met. You have this incessant need to be right and it’s infuriating,” he exhaled loudly.
“Because I’m usually right,” she said, matching his anger.
“I don’t know why I’m sitting here.”
She shrugged. “You’re welcome to go. I’ll unlock the chains,” she rolled her eyes.
He was frustrated and angry, more with himself for allowing her to get to him like that. He was overwhelmed by his feelings and he felt the walls closing in around him. “Why are you so intent on being alone?”
His words cut her and she didn’t meet his gaze. “We all have our demons, David. Sometimes it’s just best to let things be.”
He knew all too well what she meant. “Right.”
“You know, you are so good at pointing out my issues, but you don’t say anything about yourself. You start to open up and then you shut down. How do you expect me to be such an open book when you don’t say anything? Relationships aren’t like that.” Shit, she said the word she shouldn’t have.
He was surprised. “Are we in a relationship?”
“No, maybe, I don’t know. I don’t know anything about you. I don’t know why you’re here and I don’t know why I care, but I do. I like you, but you make me crazy. You seem to care and then you turn away. I feel like you’re holding back because of something huge and I don’t know if it’s my MS or if there’s someone else or if you’re simply not interested. I just don’t like games and I feel like we’re playing one.”
He looked at her and his eyes were wet. “I was attacked and held prisoner and almost raped.”
She stared at him and they both looked as Eve pushed out two more eggs.
Chapter Sixteen:
David paced back and forth in the bathroom. How could he have just told her that? What was he thinking? He should just go. He looked in the mirror and saw the beads of sweat on his forehead. He was in serious trouble.
Lila finished placing the eggs in the incubator and placed an exhausted Eve back into the tank. She cleaned up and waited, but David stayed in the bathroom. She needed to talk to him. She needed him to come out. She hesitated, but went to knock when the door opened.
“Oh, sorry, I was coming to see if you were okay,” she said as he walked past her. She watched as he gathered his things. “Are you leaving?”
“I think it would be best.”
“Why? Did I do something wrong?”
He stared at her. “Don’t you want me to go? How can you sit here and not think about what I told you.”
“Well I would like to talk to you about it. You just ran into the bathroom and I haven’t had a chance to talk to you. I don’t want you to leave.”
He exhaled and turned to face her. “I’m really embarrassed. I don’t feel right talking about this. I’m really mad I brought it up. I’d just like to forget about it.”
“My guess is that hasn’t been working so well for you, has it?”
“No, but I’ll get over it.”
She walked over to the couch and sat down, motioning for him to sit with her. Against his better judgment, he did. “Thank you for confiding in me.”
Again, he couldn’t figure her out. Why wasn’t she laughing? How could she look at him like she really meant what she said?
“Can you tell me more about what happened? I think it would help.”
“Help who?”
“You. It’s obvious to me that you haven’t talked about it and you need to.”
“Right. So now you’re an expert on what I need?”
“No, but your continued need to deflect your anger to me is evidence that you are struggling. I’m a really good listener.”
He looked at her, ready to argue, and then he stopped. “I had this patient about a year ago who decided to try IVF. She told me she was married, but since they lived out of town, she came to see me alone after waiting for months for an appointment with me. If I felt she was a candidate, then he would come in for the procedure. That wasn’t all that unusual; at the time, I was booked way into the future. Anyway, I saw her, did an exam and everything looked okay on the surface.”
“What do you mean on the surface?”
“Susan, my assistant and nurse has been with me since I started. She and my mom were best friends and I’ve known her my whole life. She is like a second mother to me, especially after my mom died.”
“I’m sorry to hear about your mom,” Lila had no idea about his personal life.
“It was a long time ago, but thank you. Anyway, after June, that was her name, after she left, Susan came to see me. She had concerns about the stability of the patient and advised me against working with her.”
“That must have been strange.”
He nodded. “It was, but with Susan, it was something I couldn’t ignore. She never did that and I had to respect her intuition. Susan told me that June asked if I would be willing to be the donor for her child and that I was known as a player, so it shouldn’t be a problem.” He smiled. “Susan didn’t take kindly to that. She’s very protective of me. After I spoke with Susan, I told June that I would be happy to refer her to a top doctor in the field, but I couldn’t help her.”
“She didn’t take it well?”
He sighed. “She threw a fit. Made all sorts of accusations that I was all talk and had no respect for my oath as a doctor. I had to have her escorted out of the building and we later found out that she had no husband, and actually lived in the area.”
“So she was just trying to get you to be her donor?”
“I wasn’t sure. I mean I deal with a lot of women who use a donation bank and it’s certainly not necessary to have a husband, so I was at a loss; I didn’t really know what she was all about; until about a month later.”
She scooted closer and faced him. “What happened?”
“I got a call from my service to come to a house for a house call. They said there was an emergency and the doctor on call couldn’t get there. Apparently the woman was in trouble and I needed to help. I went, of course, and when I got there, I was immediately overpowered. When I woke up, I was tied to a chair and my pants were off. June was there and it was obvious from what she had set up in the room that she had planned to use me as her donor,” he stood up and shoved his hands in his pockets as he paced.
She stood up and walked to face him. “Can you tell me what happened next?”
He shrugged, “I was shocked. I couldn’t believe what was happening and I think, for the first time since my mom died, I was truly scared. I tried to get free, but she had injected me with something and I was having trouble getting my body to cooperate. That was a definite flaw in her plan. The drugs in my system affected my ability to respond to stimulus.”
She felt her eyes fill with tears as he spoke of what happened and she couldn’t believe how strong he was and how brave he was to confide in her. He noticed her deep in thought and he stopped.
“Do you want me to leave?”
Her eyes flew to his face. “No, of course not. Why would you ask?”
“This has to be a turn off; not real m
anly,” he smirked
“Actually, what you just told me takes strength and courage and those are two of the best qualities in any man. David, none of this was your fault and this woman deserves to rot in jail for what she did. She tried to rape you, no different than a man doing the same to a woman. You were put through a terrible ordeal and you survived. I can’t think of anything more inspiring than that.”
He stared at her and she returned his gaze, neither one of them knowing what happens next.
“Can I ask how you got away?”
“Susan. She saved me. I had called her to tell her where I was going and if she had time, to come by, because I might need some help. She came to the door and when June opened it, Susan recognized her immediately. She shoved her way in and punched June before calling the police. I spent a couple days in the hospital because my system had a hard time getting rid of the toxin. June is in jail and I don’t know any more than that.”
“How long ago was this? If you don’t mind me asking.”
“Almost a year ago. I actually stayed away from work for almost five months. I almost quit entirely, but Susan and Brian convinced me to come back.”
“I’m glad. You are a brilliant doctor and the world needs you.”
He exhaled and walked to sit down. “I never told anyone about that.”
“Well I’m honored you felt comfortable enough to tell me. Can I get you anything?”
He smiled. “A distraction?”
She laughed. “I don’t know about that.” They were quiet for a minute when they both heard a strange chirping. Lila paled and jumped up, going to the tank and opening the cabinet below. “Shit.”
He walked over. “What is it? What’s that noise?”
She held up the cricket box, which was wide open. “So maybe I should have been more specific about closing the lid?”
“Hey, don’t blame me for that. I closed the cabinet door.”
“But the lid for the cricket house has to be closed, too.”
He opened his mouth and then closed it. “Oh, right. Sorry?”
She ran her hands through her hair and they both looked as a cricket hopped across the floor.
Chapter Seventeen:
David was sitting at his desk at work and he was whistling. He smiled to himself as he realized he was happy. He wasn’t sure the last time he was actually happy. He also knew why. It was Lila. He was happy and it was the most remarkable feeling.
It had been three days since he confessed everything to her. He thought about how compassionate she had been and it occurred to him, for the first time since the incident, that maybe it truly wasn’t his fault. He had spent so many months feeling responsible for what happened. It didn’t matter what anyone said, he was a man, and these things didn’t happen to men. He was humiliated and even though he knew in his mind that June was the one who was sick, he felt somehow responsible for putting himself in that position. It wasn’t until Lila showed him so much compassion and understanding that he began to feel like maybe he wasn’t to blame.
“David? Your last patient rescheduled, so you’re done for the day,” Susan buzzed his office.
“Thanks Susan. Did you get the package I asked?”
“Of course. Shall I bring it in?”
“Sure, thanks.” David looked up a minute later when Susan walked in. She put the box down on his desk and smiled at him.
“Are you going to see Dr. Lila?”
David rolled his eyes. “You don’t pull any punches, do you?”
“When you’re my age, you don’t have time to beat around the bush. I like her. She’s made you human.”
“Nice. Was I that bad?”
Susan grinned. “You weren’t happy. You didn’t smile enough and your dimple wasn’t as deep as it should be. Now that’s changed and I think it’s because of her.”
David smiled. “We’re just friends.”
“That’s a start. Have a good evening,” she smiled as she walked out.
David chuckled and picked up his phone to call Lila. He was worried about her and knew her meds would be kicking in now. He hadn’t talked about what she was going to do.
“Hello?” her voice came through tired and weak.
“Lila? It’s David. You sound terrible. Are you okay?” His voice was filled with concern.
“I’m okay. Thanks for calling,” she went to hang up.
“Wait, do you need anything?” he asked her quickly.
She was quiet and he heard her sigh. “No. I’m okay.”
He went to say more when she hung up. “Shit.” He stood up and decided to go over and see if he could help.
*******
Lila was trying to get a bag of her things together to go to the rehab center. She knew she was in trouble and she was scared this was going to get worse before it got better, if it got better. She loved that David called her, but he couldn’t be a part of this. She heard her doorbell ring and groaned. She told Carrie not to come over. She opened the door and was surprised to see David standing there.
“Oh, David,” she said and held the door.
“Can I come in?”
“It’s really not a good time. I’m not feeling so great,” she said, leaning on the door. “Maybe another time?”
“I brought you something that might help,” he needed her to let him in.
“I need to sit down, so do as you please,” she said and turned to walk into her family room, crawling onto the couch and shivering.
He followed her in, closing the door behind him. He saw her shivering and touched her forehead. “You’re feverish.”
“I’m fine. Just leave me alone, please. I’m going to check into the rehab facility later and they will help me. I’d be happy to talk to you after I feel better.”
“You don’t have to do that,” he covered her with the blanket she had on the couch.
“Please go away. This is so humiliating, David.”
“No it isn’t. Will you let me help you?”
She glanced at him. “Help me how?”
“I’ll stay here with you. You shouldn’t have to go to a facility. I can take care of you.”
“No way,” she closed her eyes.
“Why not?”
She sat up and faced him. “Why do you want to help me?”
He was quiet. “Do I have to have a reason?”
“Yes.”
“Why do you get to make the rules? Why does everything have to be planned out? Why can’t you just accept that I want to help you?”
She looked at him and tried to figure him out. “People aren’t like that.”
“That’s a sad way to look at things.”
“So I’m a sad pathetic loser. You can go now.”
He rolled his eyes. “I didn’t say that.” He stood up and walked to the incubator. “How are the eggs?”
“Only one has started to grow, but it’s still early.”
“Do they need to be turned?”
“No. Bearded Dragon eggs shouldn’t be touched until they hatch. They are like turtles. They lay their eggs in the sand and leave. Whatever hatches has to fend for itself.”
He crossed his arms, “Seems kind of heartless.”
She smiled. “Not everything needs to be coddled. Sometimes it’s good to know you can survive on your own.”
“And sometimes we need a little help.”
She closed her eyes, exhausted. “I’m going to lay here and try to sleep. Please see yourself out.”
He shook his head and walked into the other room, making a call and getting a few things set. He walked back into the room and saw she was asleep, but still shaking. This was cruel and he felt a deep ache in the pit of his stomach. She asked him some pretty pointed questions and to be honest, he deflected because he didn’t know the answer. He didn’t know why he wanted to help her. He didn’t understand any of this. He sat on the chair next to the couch and closed his eyes when she screamed and he jumped. “What is it?” He looked and saw she was having
a nightmare. She was still asleep, but she was sobbing and tossing.
“Lila? Wake up, hey,” he knelt down next to the couch and touched her shoulder.
“Get away from me,” she screamed and hit him with a right hook across the face.
“Ow, shit,” he fell back and held his nose, feeling the blood trickle down. “Damn.”
