by Robin Nadler
He needed to see Lila.
*******
Lila walked around her office and cleaned up all of the things Paul had been a part of. She didn’t want any remnants of him anywhere near her and the more she tossed his notes, the angrier she got. How long had he been poisoning her? How long had he been plotting to get to her? How did she not know? The bad taste in her mouth was worse the more she went over the events in her mind.
She tore up his notes and threw away his coffee mugs. She opened the drawers to her desk and looked for the key she had to the cabinet in the office and saw he had left a spiral notebook in the drawer. She took it out and began to read the pages, a feeling of nausea coming over her. She dropped the book and took the key, walking to the cabinet she had kept her meds in and opened it, stunned at what she saw.
******
David had stopped at the gift shop and picked up some roses on his way to Lila’s office. He was humming to himself as he reached her door and when he went to knock, his body filled with dread as he saw the door was open and her office was a mess.
“Lila?” He yelled as he rushed in.
He saw her and he immediately relaxed, but knew all was not okay. He dropped the flowers on the floor and walked to her on the couch, stepping over the mess on the floor. “Hey, what happened?”
She looked at him and shrugged. “I was so stupid David. I don’t understand how I could have been so incredibly stupid.”
He saw her hand was wrapped and he went to help her.
“What did you throw? What am I missing?”
“I found this,” she handed him the notebook.
He took it and began to read the notes Paul had written. He had kept a log of her personal information. When she took her meds, what she ate and when she went to the bathroom. He had notes of the subtle changes in her routine when the meds began to change and he had messages of praise to himself and how happy he was to see her health decline. David felt his blood boil as he read about how Paul wanted her to get so weak he would be the only one to help her. He would make her love him.
“There’s more,” she said. “Go look in the cabinet.”
David got up and walked to the cabinet. His anger mounted when he saw what Paul had done. There were pictures taped inside of Lila. She was asleep on the couch and he had taken photos of his hands on her in different inappropriate places, and some of his images were naked. He had notes of how many meds she had to take in order to sleep deeply enough for him to be able to do things without her waking up. He also had her real meds pushed in the back and the meds he tampered with in front. One of the pictures of him naked was what Lila had thrown and it was how she cut herself. David took a deep breath before he turned and looked at her.
“How did I let this happen? How could I have been so blind? What do you think he did that I just don’t remember? What if he raped me? What if there are pictures out there he will use? Why did I trust him to work so close to me? How am I such a bad judge of character?” She began to cry and he sat down next to her, pulling her to him and holding her.
“We need to call the police to come here and you and I need to leave. Please let me take you home.”
She nodded and he called the police. He put on some gloves and unwrapped her hand, seeing the small cut and cleaning it before he bandaged it. She sat on the couch and didn’t say anything as David let the officers in and showed them what happened before he walked to Lila and they walked out.
“Did you bring these?” she said as she saw the roses on the floor.
He picked them up and smiled. “I did. I haven’t seen you in almost three days and I wanted you to know I missed you.” He handed them to her. “For you.”
She took them and inhaled the sweet scent. “They are beautiful, thank you.”
He put his arm around her as they walked out. “Do you want to go home or to my hotel room?”
“Do you mind if I take a rain check? I think I want to be alone.”
He looked at her. “Lila, let me help you with this, please. I missed you and I don’t want you to be alone. I don’t want either one of us to be alone anymore.”
She looked at him and her resolve crumbled. “I’m scared, David. I don’t know what’s right. I don’t want you to get hurt.”
He cupped her face in his hands. “Being together is what’s right. I need to know you want that, too, Lila. I need to know this isn’t just me who feels this.”
She pulled him to her and kissed him deeply. “After everything we’ve been through, how can you doubt what I feel?”
He held her close and kissed her head. “Just don’t shut me out, please.”
“Okay. Let’s go home.” She took his hand and smiled. “Our egg should hatch soon.”
He grinned and they got into the car and headed to her house.
Chapter Forty-Two:
Lila opened her door and disarmed the alarm as she and David walked in. He watched as she walked to the tank and looked at Adam and Eve and then she checked the incubator.
“Anything yet?”
“No, but it should be soon, if it hatches. It’s possible it won’t,” she walked to the couch and sat down.
“Why not?” He looked into the incubator and smiled.
“It just might take them a couple times to get it right,” she sighed. “Look, I know I said I wouldn’t shut you out, and I don’t want to, but I’m not feeling like having company. I need to take a shower and figure out what to do next.”
He nodded and walked over to sit next to her. “Okay. I’ll just watch some TV and go over some charts and you can do as you please. I won’t bother you.”
She went to protest, but found she didn’t have the energy. “Whatever you want.” She went into her bedroom and felt her stomach churn as she looked at the bed. Shaking her head, she pulled her clothes off and walked into the bathroom, turning the shower on and looking at herself in the mirror. It had been a long time since she had been so angry with herself. She had fought to pick herself up after her diagnosis and continue living. She made a name for herself in research and med students had clamored to work with her. She always considered herself to be selective and smart when it came to those she worked with.
And then there was Paul. Through all of this, the fact she was so duped by him just set her back into her cocoon. Were there others who were the same? Was she known as the easy target? Her biggest issue was the fear that maybe he had done something to her. Had he touched her? Worse? The thought filled her with anger and contempt and she felt dirty. She stepped into the shower and sobbed as she let the hot water fall over her.
******
David waited for a long time and decided to see if she was okay. He knocked on her bedroom door and waited, but he didn’t hear anything. “Lila? Can I come in?”
He listened, and heard a noise, but wasn’t sure if it was her or not. He opened the door slowly and saw her sitting on the floor, wrapped in a towel.
“Lila? Are you okay?” He walked to her and knelt down in front of her.
“I can’t do it, David. I tried, and I know I have to, but I can’t do it,” she sobbed.
He didn’t know what she was talking about. “What can’t you do?”
She looked at him and he wiped her tears. “I tried to get into bed. I wanted to just sit there, but I just can’t. I’m a failure David. This is the dumbest thing in the world and I’m acting like a child. I don’t want to live in fear and I don’t want to have to sleep on the floor.” She hiccupped. “What if he touched me in ways I can’t imagine? What if he did something worse? How can you look at me and not see that?”
He cupped her face in his hands and tilted her chin up to look at him. “Simple. You are not what happened. You are the woman I love and I have never said that to anyone before. You are strong and capable and you will get through this. What happened to you is horrible and disgusting in how it violated your privacy and your sense of comfort, but it isn’t a reflection of who you are anymore than I am less of a
man because of what I went through. You helped me to see that, Lila. You showed me my worth and I will help you remember yours.” He walked and grabbed a nightshirt from the chair and pulled her up, removing the towel and helping her put the shirt on.
“Do you think I will be able to forget?”
He shook his head. “No, I don’t think that’s the issue. I think you survive and take your experiences to show you just what you’re made of. It will become something you look back on and say ‘I’m stronger because I lived through this’. “
She wrapped her arms around him and hugged him tightly. “I’m sorry I’ve been such a jerk. Thank you for not leaving.”
He held her to him. “Let’s go into the other room. I have something I’d like to share with you if you’ll let me.”
She looked quizzically at him and nodded, following him into the family room.
******
“Susan held it this long?” Lila took the envelope David held. He had told her what Susan had said to him.
“Apparently she wanted me to have it if I found someone and fell in love.” He smiled. “It’s funny, because I’ve dated women before, and Susan has met a handful of them, but she has never brought this up before. It’s not like I told her I was in love with you. I wonder why she decided to give it to me now?”
Lila grinned. “I think she sees what we see. Susan is a pretty amazing woman.”
“She is. I don’t think I would have made it after my mom died if it weren’t for her. She really is family.”
Lila snuggled against him. “So are you going to read it?”
“I don’t know. I want to,”
“But,” she pressed.
“I guess I’m just nervous.”
“Do you want me to leave you alone to read it?”
He looked at her and his eyes were wet. “Will you read it to me?”
She was overcome with love for him. “Are you sure? This is really personal and if you don’t want to share it with me, that’s okay.” She needed him to be sure.
He shrugged. “I would really like it if you read it to me.”
“Okay.” She moved over a little and gently opened the faded envelope. She pulled out a folded piece of paper and opened it, looking at David before she began.
“My dearest David,
This is probably the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. It’s one thing to look at your own mortality and confront the possibility of leaving this world. It’s another to know it will happen, and there is nothing you can do about it. It’s quite something else to know you will be leaving behind your heart and soul.”
Lila looked at him and saw his tears fall. She saw him nod for her to continue, so she did.
“I am actually sitting in your bedroom while you are at school. I know, don’t get mad, I’m not going through anything or looking at anything I shouldn’t, but I needed to be close to you for a little while. Looking around this room, I remember you as a baby in your crib, crawling out and trying to escape any chance you got. Your long legs were always getting you ahead of me. I remember the first bed you had and how your dad and I were so proud of you and how brave you were for staying in there, even when there were noises you were scared of.”
Lila smiled at the love she could feel through the words on the page. She wiped her own eyes and continued.
“I know you’re scared right now. I know that your senior year of high school should be full of fun and memories of school and friends, and not the year your mother fought cancer and lost. For that, I am profoundly sorry. I wish it didn’t happen. I wish I could tell you that I will be okay and life will go on as it should, but I can’t. What I can do, is tell you what I see for you, what I wish for you, and what I know you can do.”
David stood up off the couch and paced a little. Lila put the letter down and walked to him, putting her hand on his back. “Hey, it’s okay,” she said softly, seeing his torment.
“I’m okay. I need to hear it. Please finish.”
She nodded and walked back to the couch. She picked up the letter and continued.
“I think we all know how handsome you are, and no, it isn’t just because I’m your mom. You have been blessed with amazing looks, but that’s not where your true beauty comes from. The way you treat others is how I know you were blessed with beauty. They way you help me and care for me shows me every day how much of a man you have become. Your attention to your studies and to medicine in how you volunteer at the clinic shows me your future will be one that will change the world for many people.”
“What I wish for you is to be happy. I want you to know what it feels like to share your life with someone who makes you happy to wake up each day. I want you to be proud of yourself and know that no matter what you do in life, I am so proud of you. My buttons are bursting already and I will continue to watch you from above.”
“David, know this. You will never be alone. In your darkest hour, when you feel isolated and you don’t know what to do or where to go, I’ll help you. I’ll be there, guiding you and cheering you on. When you find someone to give your heart to, I’ll help you find the words. When you need encouragement to be the man I know you are, I’ll whisper in your ear. I will be with you, always.”
Lila took a deep breath and read the last part.
“The best day of my life was when you were born. I wanted to be a mother more than anything and for a while, it didn’t look like it would happen. Your dad and I had some trouble getting pregnant and when you arrived, it was truly a miracle. I want that for you. I want you to get married and have a family and feel the joy in your life you have given me.
I love you, my beautiful little boy,
Mom.”
Lila put the letter down and walked to David. She touched his shoulder and he turned, pulling her into his arms. She held him tightly and he took comfort in her arms. They stood that way for a long time and finally stepped back from each other.
“Thank you for reading that,” he said and exhaled.
“What an amazing gift that was for you, David. Your mom loved you so much and I could feel that with every word I read.” She sat down and put the letter back in the envelope. “She sounds like an amazing woman.”
David sat down next to her. “She was the best.”
They looked at each other and there was a strange scratching sound, which caused them both to stiffen. Suddenly Lila squealed. “It’s the egg!”
They both jumped up and went to the incubator and looked inside as their tiny egg began to move.
Chapter Forty-Three:
“What should we do?” David asked excitedly as they peered into the incubator.
“Nothing. It will hatch on its own,” Lila said, laughing at his excitement.
“What do you mean nothing? Can’t we help crack the egg? It’s got to be hard to break your way into the world,” David watched the tiny egg move.
“If it was buried in the sand in the desert, no one would help crack the egg. We have to let nature work its magic,” she said, resisting the urge to do what he said.
“Do you have a camera?”
She laughed. “We don’t need to take a picture.”
He took out his phone and snapped a picture. “Just one.”
Lila watched the egg and finally, they saw a tiny claw start to reach out. “Look!” she squealed.
He snapped a picture and they watched like proud parents. Suddenly, David gasped.
“What?”
“Um, look there,” he pointed and suddenly two other eggs began to move.
“No way,” Lila grabbed his hand and he laughed as she grinned in excitement.
“What do we do?” David stared. “Should I grab some blankets?”
“No, they have to stay in there for at least 36 hours. After that we can move them into a tank. We need to get that ready for them,” she smiled at his confused look.
“Should we bring Eve to watch? She is their mom,” he said.
“She will kill them, so no,”
Lila laughed.
“She wouldn’t kill them, she’s their mother,” David countered.
“They don’t have any maternal instincts, David. They lay their eggs and that’s the end of it.”
“That’s sad. Everyone needs a mom,” he said, thinking of the letter.
“You can be their mom,” she giggled.
They watched as the first baby popped its head out of the egg.
“Can I be honest for a minute?” he asked.
“Always.”
“It’s kind of creepy. Looks like Godzilla.”
