We rested on the bed, tangled together as he stroked my stomach. “You felt amazing. Do you have any regrets?”
“No, I think that was a perfect first time. You were so careful with me and so good. I think there’s a lot to be said about an older man,” I smiled as he looked at me, licking his lips.
“Want this to continue through your visit?” Nathan asked as I raised an eyebrow at him. “I’d even come to California to see you.” I smiled, and he moved next to me on the pillow. “This is more than just sex, though I can’t pinpoint it. We can hide it, so you don’t get a lot of shit from your dad, but I need to see you.”
“I want to see you again,” I told him as he moved forward to kiss me.
I spent the night, and he took me home in the morning before going back to the office. Sherry looked at me when I walked in with my bags and smiled. “That fun, huh?” I knew that I looked a mess, but that would be the case if I slept anywhere.
“We ended up having drinks and dinner and just got a room. It was a good catch up time,” I smiled as I watched her pour some coffee for me, excusing myself to take my bags upstairs. I changed into yoga pants and a loose sweatshirt before I cleaned up in the bathroom and pulled back my hair.
“It looks like nobody was home at all last night,” Sherry observed as she shook her head. “Is he sleeping at the office again?” Dad did that a lot right after Mom died, leaving me crying in my room all alone, night after night.
“Maybe, or perhaps he’s seeing someone. You know he doesn’t tell me anything,” I reminded her before I sipped the coffee.
“You two will come back together at some point,” Sherry said to me as I shrugged. We weren’t that close before the accident. Now that I was sleeping with his partner, I didn’t see myself opening up to him. I couldn’t open up to anybody about that right now.
I made my way to my room after eating breakfast with Sherry, since Nathan and I didn’t have time for that. He’d nearly been late taking me home, making me wish that I had a car here in town. I knew we’d work around that since last night had been incredible. We’d had sex three times in total, as he revealed that he did have a dominant side to him that he wanted to show me little by little. I welcomed it, wanting everything that he had to give me in the time that we had.
I knew that I was biting off more than I could chew but I couldn’t help it. I needed Nathan in my life.
We planned on me staying at his house that night, and I pulled out my phone to get an Uber car after dinner. Dad was home for some reason, and he looked over my jeans and ruffled shirt suspiciously. “Going somewhere?”
“I am going to take a car to Melinda’s. We’re going to watch some movies and hang out,” I lied as I saw the worry cross his face.
“Charles can take you.” I looked at him and saw the look in his eyes as well as the way that his jaw was set.
“He has dinner with his family tonight. I can get a car, Dad. People do it all of the time.” I stared at him as he opened his mouth to argue with me. “You can’t keep me in this shell. You can’t be so scared of it happening again. That’s not living, Dad. You barely notice me anyway, so why are you so worried?” I realized that I’d gone too far and I stomped up to my room to get my purse and wipe the tears away from my eyes.
“Alyssa!” Dad called as I walked out of the house and down the driveway to search for the blue Camry that was picking me up. He came out of the house, but I was already inside and closing the door as I regretted saying that. It was better for Dad not to notice me right now since he might wonder who I’m spending time with. He might want to know more about my life, and he’d hate me.
I rode silently as the guy drove, pulling up to Nathan’s house as I slipped him a bill and got out to walk up to the door. Nathan lived in a similar neighborhood to me, but his house was smaller, more modest. He opened the door, wearing worn jeans and a Henley before pulling me into his arms as he kicked the door closed.
The only thing that I knew to do was to kiss him. I wanted to forget everything that was said back at my house, and I wrapped my arms tighter around him. He lifted me and carried me to his couch, in front of a roaring fire. “You okay?” Nathan asked as he lowered me to the soft leather to look at me. “You look like you’ve been crying.”
“It’s nothing,” I assured him and pulled him close to me. He seemed to understand that I wasn’t ready to talk yet and kissed me again, leading us smoothly into us making love right there in front of the fire. My body was craving him as it would breath or water, and I let him bend me over the back as he took me from behind this time, hard and fast. His hands gripped my thighs tightly as he spread me open and I cried out with the intensity of it all, screaming as I came around him.
Chapter Seven - Nathan
The affair continued for the short time that Alyssa was in New York. I’d work, then meet her at my house or the apartment where we’d go at it like animals. I knew that I was getting attached and it bothered me more and more with every event that I had to pretend that there was nothing between us. I was her father’s best friend, as much as I could be, and I had no local family. He always invited me to Christmas, and I couldn’t say no. There were even a few dinners at the house where I had to pretend that we were nothing to one another before she’d sneak away and meet me at my place or just get out of the house to let me drive her. I knew that Alyssa made the excuse that she was spending time with friends, and I watched the tension between her and Brad. Something happened between them, but she didn’t talk about it, just pulled me in and gave me more of her body each and every time that we were together.
I went over on the holiday and opened the presents they gave me as Alyssa watched me warmly from the couch. I’d brought some over for everyone as well, though there was another one under my tree for her to open later. It was something that couldn’t be seen, as it would raise curiosity that we didn’t need.
We had dinner, sitting what felt like miles apart as I watched one of the younger attorneys flirt with Alyssa. She laughed and chatted with him. I knew that she was doing it to keep the cover going and that he had no shot with her, but it still hurt. Her family was there, surrounding her as they asked her how California was and nodding at her positive replies.
I wanted to tell everyone that she was mine. I wanted to tell them that I’d enjoyed her every possible way, recently discovering that Alyssa was into being tied up and even spanked. I couldn’t think of another woman now that I was with her, and I held her in my arms in the apartment as we watched the ball drop on television. Alyssa was returning home the following evening on the red eye, to get back to work. I traced the small diamond that shimmered on her chest, the only thing that she wore in the light of the fire as we recovered from a rough session. Alyssa loved the gift and wore it under her clothes, risking being asked what it was, but so far, we were lucky.
It made me smile when she told me that she’d wear it proudly back home.
I was supposed to be at the company’s New Year’s party but I’d chosen to spend it alone with Alyssa. I needed to taste her skin and feel her in my arms as the reality of the situation hit us. This was ending tomorrow, and neither of us wanted that. I was in love with her, despite the taboo nature of the situation. It could ruin my livelihood, my friendship with her father and even my reputation. Men my age dated younger women all of the time, and it was admired unless it was your partner’s daughter, a woman that you’d known for twelve years. It was dirty when you’d watched her grow up, seen her through the loss of her mother. I knew that there were no legal ramifications involved in this, but there were multiple moral ones. “Are you and your father alright?” I asked her as I held her in my arms.
“I’m not sure. He's so protective, and I can see how mad he is when I leave the house. I tell him that I’m with friends, but when he knows I am in a car he just freaks out. I prefer the nights when he isn’t home, but I guess that won’t matter anymore come tomorrow.” Alyssa sighed and nuzzled her nose against my chest. “I don’t wan
t to leave.”
“I’ll visit you within a couple of weeks for a long weekend,” I promised her as she stared into my eyes. “I promise, baby.”
“Good. I’m going to miss this so much,” Alyssa breathed as her lips brushed against my skin, sending the blood to my groin as I groaned. I watched as she slid down my body to take me into her mouth, sucking me hard and deep before I took her head in my hands and started to fuck her mouth as I watched. It was so hot, and I knew how I felt about her as I shot deeply into her throat and she rested her head against my stomach.
We slept a matter of a few hours that night, both of us hungry for each other. I felt closer to her every time I was inside of her, but I didn’t voice that. I took her home in the morning, after one last time in my bed, kissing her goodbye in my bedroom before I had to let her go.
I went into the office, feeling empty and sad. Linda didn’t even affect me this way when she was my wife or after she left. “What’s with you?” Brad asked me as I lost my focus for the hundredth time that day. “You’ve been off for a couple of weeks.”
“Just the holidays or something,” I responded as I ran my hand through my hair. “I can’t wait to go see Kim for a while.”
Brad didn’t take any vacation, though I hoped that would change with the woman in his life. We were both millionaires, and at least one of us deserved to spoil the woman that he loved.
“Alyssa will be there. Will you see her?” He asked as I froze for a moment.
“Maybe I should take her to dinner. She made it sound like she was always working.”
“That would be nice,” Brad agreed as I gave him a long look.
“Are you taking her to the airport?” I asked as he glanced at the clock on the wall.
“I’m taking her to a late dinner before her flight.” That was a good thing, though the selfish side of me wanted it to be me.
We finished the work, and I went to my office to sit and stare out of the window. I sent Alyssa a text, keeping it light as we started a conversation while she packed. Alyssa joked about having trouble fitting the clothes that she bought in her suitcase and I said something vaguely funny back before I looked at the picture of her that I’d taken when she was sleeping. She was beautiful, and I shook my head.
The day passed slowly, and I left before Brad, going to my apartment for the night. I didn’t want to be too close to her, afraid I won’t be able to resist the urge to go to see her.
I woke up the following day knowing that she was gone, feeling ripped apart inside. I rolled over to smell her pillow and closed my eyes. Two more weeks and I’d be there.
Chapter Eight
I returned to California a different person. Dad and I talked over dinner, and he apologized for being so cold since Mom died. He just didn’t know how to handle it apart from working as much as possible. He assured me that he wanted me to live my life and even admitted to dating a woman in the city. I told him that I was happy for him and gave him a tight hug before I boarded the plane.
I missed Nathan more than I ever imagined I would. I knew that he was coming to see me and we talked every few days as well as sent a lot of texts. The conversations were casual, but I think we both felt what was bubbling underneath the surface.
When he was at my door a few weeks later, I hugged him and pulled him into my apartment. His lips were crashing against mine as he pressed me against the wall and released the apparent desire in both of us. I took him to my bed, inviting him into my life as my heart broke into a million pieces at the idea of him leaving.
We had a great week together before we returned to our long distance relationship. I’d nearly told Nathan that I loved him before he left but held it back. I wasn’t ready to face that yet.
Life had a different plan for me. I started feeling sick a couple of months later, thinking at first that it was just the flu. After some time passed, I thought back to a few of the times when I’d been careless with Nathan in the heat of our passion. I took a test once I couldn’t stand the mystery anymore and cried brokenly on my bathroom floor when I realized that I was pregnant.
I admittedly pulled away from Nathan after that, actually from everyone back in New York. I had to sort through what was happening and decide what to do, though abortion and adoption weren’t options for me. I loved this baby, this little piece of Nathan and me. I just wasn’t sure how to tell him.
One Saturday morning Nathan came knocking at my door and I burst into tears all over again. He took me into his arms, and even though I wanted to send him away, some powerful hormones came with this pregnancy, so I dragged him into bed instead. I fucked him as many times as I could stand it before I was exhausted and he watched me as I snuggled next to him. “What’s wrong with you, Alyssa? Why have you been avoiding me?”
“I…I found out I was pregnant about a month ago. I’ve been lost about it and tried to figure out what to do,” I told him after several moments of silence, burying my face in my pillow.
“Pregnant? With my baby?” Nathan questioned as I groaned out loud and closed my eyes.
“I haven’t been with anyone else,” I shot back as I felt him move close to me, lighting the fire inside of me all over again.
“I know that. I’m sorry.” Nathan apologized, and I raised my head to look at him.
“Have you?” My voice was high, and I stared at him as he gave me an incredulous look.
“Fuck, no. I miss you, Alyssa. Come back to New York. We can make it official and raise this baby.”
“Are you insane? Dad will be pissed, Nathan. You might lose your job and your life there.”
“So what?” He asked as I rolled away from him. “Alyssa, come back. I can work anywhere, here or there.”
“You’re not throwing away your career there for me,” I scoffed as I pulled on a robe and walked into the kitchen.
“I love you, Alyssa. I want all of this with you. I just didn’t know how to say it before.” I looked out of my window and wondered when everything went so wrong, why this happened to us. It was good sex, hot and wild, nothing that needed to turn into shared parenthood.
“I’m tired. I can’t deal with this,” I told him as I went back to bed and pulled the blankets over my head.
I shut down, and he went home angry and resentful at my attitude. I didn’t know what I was doing as I worked through my days and cried myself to sleep. I missed him so much, but it seemed hopeless in my mind.
I noticed that the phone calls stopped and the texts just didn’t come through as I kept being silent. I was scared that I’d lost Nathan, but maybe that was best. I had a good job, and I could raise this baby myself.
I was checking the mail and found an envelope that was marked with Nathan’s return address. I carried it to my place and sat down to open it, finding a plane ticket for the following weekend. I grabbed my phone.
Me: What the hell is this?
Nathan: I want you to come here so we can figure this the fuck out. I am going to talk to your dad and tell him everything, Alyssa. I love you, and I hate that I’m missing everything about this pregnancy.
Me: Are you insane? I wasn’t going to tell him that it’s yours.
Nathan: I want the world to know that this baby is mine. I’m sick of hiding this. Get your ass back here on that flight and face your life. I've had enough of this.
I smiled and started to cry.
Me: Okay. Know something? I love you too.
I was scared to death the entire flight as my stomach twisted and turned inside. Nathan picked me up at the airport and drove me to his house, announcing that we were having dinner with my father the following night. I still tried to argue the idea, but he shut me up with a kiss, something that I needed.
It felt good to have him bare inside of me. It was not necessary now, and I rode him that night hard and deep as I gave into the orgasm that I desperately needed. We stayed in bed until we needed to get ready for dinner, and I slipped on some leggings and a long t-shirt as I pulled my hair back
.
Dad looked shocked when I showed up with Nathan. He stared at us as we sat down at the table and his face turned beet red as Nathan told him what was going on. “She’s my daughter. How dare you think that this is okay.” Dad growled as I jumped in my seat and felt Nathan take my hand.
“I wouldn’t have chosen this for her, but it happened. I love her, and we’re going to have a family. I’ll do right by her, Brad.” Nathan told him as Dad threw down his napkin, stomped out of our dining room and slammed a door in the house.
“That went well,” I muttered as Nathan stroked my hair.
“Give him time,” Nathan murmured before he led me out of the house, getting Thai food on the way back to his house.
Dad wasn’t there when we found out the baby was a boy, at a doctor’s office in New York. I’d agreed to move back in the week that I was visiting. Nathan insisted that I take it easy and we stayed in the house after I’d sorted everything out in California. I knew that I wanted to work eventually, but I let him have his way for now.
He had proposed a week before the baby was due, in front of the fireplace. I was heavy and full of our son and cried buckets as I sobbed that I would marry him. We’d worked through a lot in the few months that I’d been back and I suspected that Dad was coming around. Nathan worked it out enough to stay at the firm, and he even agreed that Dad was warming up to the idea of us.
Epilogue
Braden Leo Moore was born on an early November morning, beautiful and loud. Nathan bent over me as I held him against my bare skin and cried for what we created with our love. I struggled from time to time with us, but now everything was perfect. It wasn’t what one might classify as a normal relationship, but we both knew that it was a genuine one.
His sister was out in the waiting room, and she came in with flowers before she carefully picked up the little bundle of blue. There was a tap at the door, and I glanced up to see Dad coming in, holding a huge vase of white roses and purple lilacs. They were mom’s favorite flowers and I smiled as he came in and set them down beside me.
Hungry Cowboy Page 39
