We finished our meal slowly and I pushed my plate away with a long groan. “So good,” I said. Lance laughed.
“We always split a piece of apple pie a la mode,” he said as my stomach protested the large meal. “Want to share?”
“A bite. Any more and I’ll die,” I said. He nodded at Mabel. “How often do you guys eat here?”
“I’d say once a week. It gives us a break from the ranch and some time alone. We eat well and bond with Mabel here. It’s nice,” Lance replied as he looked around the room.
“You’re there a lot, aren’t you? The ranch?”
“Well, when my father passed away I had a new baby. I needed to do something to support him, and the ranch was successful. It was what I knew, so I made it my permanent home. I have a great staff to assist me and now a good nanny. The others weren’t that great and always leaving. I want someone that Logan bonds with,” Lance said. I smiled. “I think that’s you.”
“Thanks. I hope so.”
We talked about the college studies I was planning on as he paid the bill (at my protest) and went out to the car. He secured Logan and showed me around town before winding back to the ranch. Logan was quiet in the back. I turned my head to see him sleeping soundly.
“Time for bed?” I asked Lance. He smiled and nodded before giving me a look. “Why did you take me to the room last night? Your couch is really comfortable.”
“I wanted you comfortable, and I was nursing some wounds. I just wanted to sit in front of the TV and drink, as you saw. Thanks for cleaning that up.” I nodded. “He’s young and wouldn’t get it, but I want to set a better example for Logan.”
“Want to talk about it?” I asked as he stopped at a sign and looked at me.
Chapter Eight
“I don’t know you well enough to dump my drama in your lap,” Lance said as he pulled forward with a hard press on the gas pedal.
“You can, though. I’m a good listener,” I offered, seeing the pain on his face. “It’s okay to let go.”
“Were you able to when your mom died?” Lance asked me. I pressed my lips together.
“I had friends there that helped me through it, though they were all missing her as well. I had support, though.” I shrugged. “I think it’s a process, personally. Did you find that?”
“In a few ways, yes,” Lance admitted as he pulled into the driveway. “You have a day off. What are you going to do?”
“I don’t know,” I admitted as he parked in front of the house. “I might sleep this meal off for a bit. I might spend some time with Irene.”
“I’ll make you a deal. If you’re up, meet me by the pond later and we can check out some stars. I remember a few of the constellations from astronomy class. We can go back to the house and have some coffee on the porch a little closer to Logan.”
“That sounds great,” I told him as I opened the door slowly. “I might see you later.” I smiled as I slipped out of the cab and walked over to the house with my stuff in my hand. I wondered if Lance wanted to talk about what was bothering him. I wondered if he did this kind of thing with girls at all since his breakup.
I walked through the front door to find Irene and the family lounging in the living room watching television.
“Hi, Brie. Last night ran late, huh?”
“I fell asleep and he didn’t wake me up,” I replied. “We went into town for lunch with Logan.”
“Mabel’s?” Michael asked as he stroked Irene’s hair. He grinned at me. “Everyone loves it there, but he’s been going since he was a kid. Mabel’s nice, isn’t she?”
“Very. So warm. The burger was amazing,” I told them as I took a seat on the recliner and stretched out. “This feels so good. Logan gets up at six. Do you know how much energy he has when he first wakes up?”
“I can imagine.” Irene laughed as she looked at me.
“How does he do that on his own all of the time and work so hard? Has Lance had nobody in his life since Logan’s mom left?” I asked in a tired voice, waiting for the answer with my eyes closed.
“Lance isn’t a casual kind of guy,” Irene explained carefully as I pretended to relax. “If he’s dated, he’s kept it away from the ranch and Logan. I don’t think he’ll introduce a woman to him until he’s serious about her.” Irene paused. “I’m almost surprised that he hired you so quickly, but Kathy quit so quickly on him… It worked out well.”
“It did,” I agreed as the need for sleep washed over me. I snuggled into my chair and sighed as I compared my life three months ago to now. It was so different. I liked my new life.
I woke up a few hours later to the smell of fried chicken and blinked slowly. The television was on and I was alone. I glanced out of the back door to see the sun low in the sky.
How long had I slept? I moved and stretched before I stood up and walked into the kitchen. “That smells so good,” I told Irene as I looked at her and the clock. “I slept that long?”
“You must’ve been tired,” Irene said as she smiled at me. “How did it go with Lance?”
“Good. He’s kind,” I replied thoughtfully. She smiled, almost to herself, and I bit my lip. “Did you have anything… particular in mind when you asked me to move here?”
“Between you and Lance?” Irene asked in what was meant to be an innocent voice. She blushed and looked down at the potatoes that she was boiling. “Well, I’d never force an issue that way, Brie. Never. I just understood that you were a sweet gal, and he’s a good man. I wouldn’t mind if something developed between y’all. That’s all.”
“He’s got a son, though. I’m so young,” I protested.
“A son that you’re so good with. Logan loved you from day one and continues to do so,” Irene assured me as I frowned. “If there’s a connection between you and Lance, I’d see where that goes. I love him like a son, and I want to see him happy.”
“I just feel scattered still. It feels too soon to be getting into anything like that since I’ve been here for just a week,” I told her. I heard the front door open and Michael walked in.
“I fell in love with Michael after just two weeks,” Irene told me happily in a low voice. “Did she get there okay?” she called to Michael. His “yes” echoed from the front entryway. Irene looked at me. “Sarah has a sleepover at a friend’s tonight. We’re eating here and maybe going to see a movie.”
Michael walked into the kitchen. “They’re going to be just fine. Justine’s mom has a whole night planned for them, and I’m confident that Sarah will come home and collapse when she comes back tomorrow.” He smiled at me. “You always pay a price when you send your kid for a sleepover!”
“I suppose so,” I replied. I glanced at the time. “I’m going to take a quick shower before we eat. Is that okay?”
“Sure, honey,” Irene assured me as I smiled and walked back to my room.
I pulled out some leggings and a pink tunic before I walked across the hall for a hot shower. The shower felt so good after my overwhelming day, and I closed my eyes for a few minutes. I washed my hair and used the peppermint soap that I’d fallen in love with since I’d arrived. I wondered if I’d go through with the loose plans that I’d made with Lance tonight. Irene’s words played through my mind, and I couldn’t help but consider her words. Would I be a good match for Lance? Could I handle the responsibility of a stepson–one that didn’t have a mother?
Considering everything, the thought of dating him was silly. He was my boss. What if things went wrong and exploded in my face? I couldn’t shoulder that, and, therefore, I’d remain friends with him and be his nanny. That’s all.
I finished the shower and dried my body and hair. I glanced in the mirror. I was thick around my stomach and hips, something my mother always complimented me on. I didn’t see myself in the same light, and I wondered if Lance thought I was pretty. He’d said so but maybe he was just trying to be nice. People here just seemed friendly to begin with.
There was nothing there.
I dri
ed my hair and pulled my clothes on before I went back to the kitchen to help finish dinner. It was a big platter of fried chicken, mashed potatoes with gravy, and some salad. I loved Irene’s cooking. It was so homey and comforting after eating heat-and-eat food for so long. It made me want to learn to cook myself. After dinner, I watched her separate the leftovers into a few plastic containers before she winked at me. “Feel free to drop some off at Lance’s if you’d like.” She held up a large container with hearty servings of chicken and potatoes before she popped it into the fridge. “He loves home-cooked meals, but he insists on giving me weekends off to spend time with my family.”
“Sure thing,” I replied as she and Michael went back to their room to change for their date. I wiped the counters down and turned on the TV when they left. I thought I’d like the quiet house, but I found it reminded me too much of New York.
When I get restless, I bake. I scoured Irene’s cabinets and found the fixings for some chocolate chip cookies. I mixed them in a bowl as I caught myself looking at the clock. I could have some ready for later, at which point I reminded myself that I wasn’t going to meet Lance. I was going to stay home and relax.
That plan went out the window when I sent him a text after eating a few of the cookies and watching bad reality television.
Me: Want to meet at your house? Irene has some food for you.
Lance: Sounds great, Brie. Come over whenever you’re ready. We’re just watching a movie.
I checked my hair in the mirror and added a hint of plum lip-gloss before I groaned. “Stop it. He’s just a friend.”
Chapter Nine
I packed about half of the cookies and added them to the bag with the food before I left. Since it was only a short walk, I slipped my feet into some sandals. I clutched my house key as I locked the door. What was I doing?
Meeting up with a friend and his son. Scratch that. I was meeting up with my boss and the child that I cared for.
I made the short walk and wasn’t feeling too sure of myself as I tapped on his door. I heard a squeal and watched as Logan opened the door and wrapped himself around my thick legs. “That’s a greeting a girl could get used to,” I remarked as Lance watched the exchange. “Let me give this to Daddy and I’ll carry you, Logan.”
“He has you wrapped around his little finger,” Lance teased me as he took the bag. I picked Logan up. He wore loose pajamas and smelled like he was fresh from a bath. I inhaled the scent for a moment with a smile. We all walked inside to the kitchen where Lance started digging in and grinned. “She made dinner and cookies? Right on. Want a treat before bed, buddy?”
“I baked those. I was a little bored and started searching the pantry,” I admitted. “I figured you boys would enjoy them.”
“What kind of cookies?” Logan chirped. I smiled at him.
“Chocolate chip with pecans. You can eat nuts, can’t you?” I asked as he nodded enthusiastically. I knew that already but I liked seeing the joy on his face. “I think that Daddy is getting some milk. Let’s go get you a couple of cookies.”
They both ended up eating a healthy helping of the food as well as a few cookies. Lance groaned as he put everything away and I took Logan to brush his teeth. He wanted us both in there for his bedtime story, and I sat in the recliner while Lance sat on his bed and did the reading, his voice changing with every character, making Logan widen his eyes. What an amazing father.
We both kissed him good night, and Lance let me lead him to the living room. “He adores you, Brie.” I smiled and walked over to the sliding glass door. I saw that he had the monitor. “Want a beer?”
“Sure,” I told him. He said that he’d meet me out there. I wandered out and looked at the comfortable chairs set up under the sky around a fire pit. There was also a fancy BBQ with a lot of space for food prep. I admired it all for a moment. I made my way to the seats, sat down in one, and looked up at the night sky with a happy smile.
Brooklyn was amazing, but this… this was stunning. I could hear the animals around the farm settling in for the night and the moon brightened the land for easy viewing. The stars were bright and twinkling in the sky. I looked up and heard the door open behind me. “Here you go.” Lance handed me a cold beer before he sat down in the chair beside me.
“Thank you,” I told him as I took a deep breath. “It’s so beautiful out here.”
“It’s my place where I let everything go after a long day. I had a chance to move to the city a few times over the years. I never did, even when Lauren suggested it while she was pregnant.” I looked at him, seeing that he didn’t realize that he was telling me about Logan’s mom. “She wanted the city life, but I always loved it here. I thought it would be better to raise Logan here.” Something crossed his face, and he looked at me as if to ask if I minded him talking about her. I just smiled and nodded, encouraging him to keep going. “Anyway, when she left I was worried she would take him away from the farm. That wasn’t an issue, as it turns out.” I saw sadness cross his face as he sipped the beer and relaxed against the cushions.
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry that she chose not to be a part of his life,” I told him in a soft voice. He nodded abruptly.
“I’ve accepted it for the most part. I’d rather him being completely without her than dealing with such back and forth.” He took a deep breath. “I saw her at the rodeo that night. She was with one of the riders, and she was carrying a baby. It was about six months old, and she had this smile on her face. What is it about that child that Logan didn’t give her?”
“That’s why you were drinking,” I said, and he nodded in shame.
“I don’t miss Lauren or even have any feelings remaining for her,” he told me as he met my eyes. “My pain was for Logan, and it tormented me that night. I didn’t know what to do about it until I got home. I saw you here, and I was so at peace knowing that you were here with him. I didn’t want you to leave so I carried you to the bed so you wouldn’t wake up. I just needed to work it out somehow, but I was so angry with myself the next morning. I trusted that you would get up with him to let me sleep, but that’s presumptuous of me to do. I couldn’t apologize enough.” I saw regret cloud his handsome face. I reached out a hand to touch his arm.
“Lance, stop this. You’ve been doing this on your own for a while now, and you deserve a break. I didn’t mind doing that for you at all. Logan is a wonderful child.” I smiled as he stared at me with something in his eyes. “You do pay me generously, as well. I don’t know any daycare that charges that.”
“You deserve it. You’re doing Logan a world of good. I gave you a raise from what Kathy was making, to be honest.” I raised my eyebrows. “I was going to fire her if she didn’t leave. I knew from word of mouth that she was on the phone more than she was interacting with him. She didn’t put him first and once I knew that she was looking to move into the city, I was prepared to hire someone else. I just didn’t think she’d quit so fast.” A smile crossed his face. “When Irene mentioned that she was getting her niece at the airport and what a doll she was, I hoped that you would be the answer to my prayers. You were… in more ways than one.”
“What do you mean?” I asked.
“I came home that night to what I realized I wanted. It wasn’t Lauren or anything that she might have convinced me to want. It wasn’t what she seemed to want with someone else. I had my home with my son and you in it. It felt right once I got drunk and worked that through my head.” He watched my eyes widen and reached up to cover my hand with his. “I know that you are here from an entirely different place–starting over. I know that you’ve suffered a loss. I also know that you’re beautiful and kind and that my son loves you. He told me that the first night that he met you, Brie.” My heart started pounding, and he moved his hand to stroke my cheek. “I got wise to my feelings a few days after that, but it seemed too soon to tell you. Even after the rodeo, it seemed too soon to me.” He smiled and looked into my eyes. “Is it still too soon?”
“Oh, Lan
ce.” I stared at him and then down at the ground. “I like you as well… so much. I thought I was foolish for thinking such things.”
“Why?” he asked as I tried to sort through my mixed emotions.
“You’re a handsome, successful ranch owner. You have an amazing son. I didn’t know what I had to offer you, especially after just a week,” I replied as he chuckled.
“It’s fast, I know. From here, we’ll take it only as fast as you’re ready for. I don’t want to rush a thing, but I do want to get to know you better.” Lance smiled at me as he tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. “For the record, you have a lot to offer, but I also have baggage that you might not be ready for. A son is a lot to take on for a girl.”
“Not when he’s as sweet as Logan, and you’re his father.” I smiled weakly. “I’d like to give this a try.”
“Good,” Lance said. He licked his lips and stared at me.
My body felt like it was flying right up into the sky as I stared back at him. There were so many fears rushing through my mind as I wondered how this would work and what I should do. I was new to relationships and Lance…well, he wasn’t. He had a son. He had a ranch and so much going on. I felt like I was nothing compared to him.
We moved to a chaise lounge that was wide enough for both of us, and that was saying a lot. We sat together and sipped our beer as we chatted about our pasts and looked up at the stars. After a few hours, we went inside and had more cookies before turning on a movie and snuggling on the couch.
“Irene wanted this, you know. She told me that tonight,” I confessed to him as I looked at him with a soft smile.
“I sensed that. She wants the best for Logan and me.” He smiled as he moved closer to me and looked into my eyes. “Can I kiss you, Brie?”
“Yes,” I whispered as he moved forward just enough to brush his lips against mine. They were so full and soft, and it made any of the stupid kisses that I’d shared with anyone before pale in comparison. I felt my innocence strong in my bones, threatening the joy that I felt before I shoved it down. His lips claimed mine again, and I whimpered as he tilted his head and teased my lower lip with the tip of his tongue.
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