by Katie Vack
"You too, you arrogant prick." He trailed off, stunned by the anger in her voice- even by Sora's standards, she was furious. From the hatred in her eyes, she was having a mental debate as to how extravagantly she could grant him a slow and prolonged death. "You think that you can just lie to us? You think I'm happy to have found out you're the reason I'm sitting around as a cripple."
"But I didn't-"
"Didn't what? Didn't think? Didn't consider the consequences of your actions? You just don't get it, do you? The influence you can have on those around you. Screw with me again, and I'm mounting your head on a goddamn spike."
"Fine," Grayson growled through gritted teeth, "maybe I lied to you. Maybe I kept it a secret. But guess what? We all have secrets. I don't need to be a mind reader to see that Seth is the only possible honest person in this room; so don't come after me with your accusations, you pack of bloody hypocrites."
"And what?" Sora's voice dropped, her fury replaced by a kind of quiet anger. "Maybe we have secrets; maybe we don't. But that doesn't matter. I couldn't care less who or what you are in your spare time, but when you stand beside us you're a warrior. You're ready and willing to pour everything you have into the completion of your task. You follow orders. You do what you have to do. When we get ourselves involved in a mission like this, we lose all rights to our identities. We're tools. We're machines. We have to be willing to give up everything, whether that's our privacy, our personality, or even our lives. That's what you still don't understand. You being a half-blood? I couldn't possibly care less. But if you think you can hold back in a life and death situation you're in the wrong profession, and I don't want you as a partner. You aren't going to betray me, Grayson. Not you. If they enemy doesn't get to you first, I'll kill you myself."
The room was enshrouded in a thick blanket of silence. Sora turned her back to them and stalked out, expressionless. The remainder didn't seem to know what to say in her absence. She had been angry, certainly, but there was more to it than that. She had allowed her anger to control her, had let her mask slip just a little, and it was as though they had almost, just almost, been able to see beneath it. Grayson knew the others didn't get it- they didn't have his experience with people- but he'd caught something else below her hatred. She hadn't just been angry with him, she had been hurt somehow. He didn't understand it, but then he didn't understand her- none of them did.
"Why," Thief eventually asked, "didn't you tell us what you were?"
Grayson sighed, making his way over to a chair and slumping into it. "You don't understand. You aren't from here."
"No, I'm not. But why don't you give it a try?"
"Luminacht isn't a very accepting place. You have to be a lumin, and you have to follow the lumin faith- they don't like outsiders, they don't like aliens, and they don't like atheists."
"Of which you are what?"
"Worse. I'm much worse. I never really got around to telling you what casters are and what they do, so I wouldn't expect you to understand.
"We're parasites. We have the ability to drain energy, and the ability to drain life. Our lifespans are naturally around twenty years, but then nobody likes to die, and casters are no different- only unlike the rest of you, we have the power to change it.
"Physical injuries heal. Mental ones take longer, but they can mend too. But when someone steals your years away from you, sucks out your very life force, that's something you can never get back. That's what we do- we use our powers to drain the life of our victims, and whatever we steal from them we take for ourselves. Casters are parasitical creatures that build their lives upon the deaths of others.
"Like everyone native to Luminacht, casters are intrinsically linked to either the light or the dark- and in our case, it's very much the shadows. We're equal and opposite to the lumin, our powers being the exact mirror image of their own, so even our nature throws us into conflict with them. But then, it's not like we're the kind to settle peacefully anyway.
"I told you about the changes that occur when one becomes a wulf or a leech; about how you lose your compassion and your humanity. Casters are worse. At least the others have a biological reason for being the way they are- for us there's nothing. Casters are evil, nothing more, nothing less. We don't kill to prolong our lifespans; that's just a side effect. We kill because we enjoy it.
Men, women, elderly, children, retards, cripples, it doesn't matter. A caster is a monster, killing everything and everyone that they can get their hands upon. We have no need to do so, but we do it because we enjoy it. Are you starting to see why I lied about what I was?"
Thief frowned. "How many people have you killed?"
Grayson paused. "None."
"How many lives have you stolen?"
"None, but-"
"How many innocents have you slaughtered?"
"I haven't."
"Then your hands are clean. Believe it or not, you're the only non-killer amongst us. So I'll ask you again; why did you lie about yourself?"
"Because I can't change what I am. It doesn't matter how clean my hands are; I'll always be what my parents made me."
"Funny, because you never struck me as a monster."
"That's because I hide it. I'm always pretending to be an ordinary lumin. I'm damn good at it by now."
"Is it really?" Thief shrugged. "I think you're wrong. I don't think you're like that at all."
"You don't understand."
"No, I don't, and I don't pretend to. Casters, lumin, leeches, wulves- I'm not particularly good at that kind of thing. So maybe I'm wrong. Maybe you are a monster after all. But I think you're wrong. I think that you've spent so long being told that that you've begun to believe it yourself."
"You're wrong."
"Perhaps. But for what it's worth, I think you need to wake up and face the real world."
"You have no idea who I am."
"Then perhaps it's time we found out."
"What?"
"I said it's time you told us who exactly you are. No lies, nothing left out, just who you are, what you've done, and what's led you here."
"I..." Grayson tried to find an excuse for remaining silent, but realised it was futile, "I... fine. But it's not a short story."
"That's okay. We have time."
"Very well, then.
"My name is Grayson Hunter- it's not my real name, but since nobody knows what that is it's what I go by- and I'm a half-blood."
As I Am
"I never knew either of my parents, so this is all based upon what I've been told. My mother, apparently, was a lumin woman known as Faith; which it seems was a fitting name. Those who knew her told me that she was as pure and flawless as any being could be- a strong religious believer, gentle and generous of nature, and above all an extremely powerful healer. We tend to overuse the term angel a lot nowadays, but that's how people tend to describe her- then again, people are always generous to the dead so I don't really know how much of it to believe.
"She was a very isolated individual, but a pillar of the community I guess. She lived alone on a farm a few miles out of Satus, a small town dedicated predictably to religion and agriculture, and every morning she would travel into it to bring succour to the sick and injured. She was their primary healer and they relied upon her completely, and she for the most part was content simply to serve them.
"There came a time in which the town began to fall prey to a small group of casters. They would come, in the middle of the night, and soundlessly kill their victims as they slept in their beds. This went on for weeks, and the posting of guards had no effect- the casters were like ghosts, and the militia never even saw their enemy.
"After a few dozen were dead, it seems that somebody discovered the location the casters were operating from, because the town's guardsmen were mobilised, a group of some few hundred. Lumin tend to operate more on spirit than rank, so we have no dedicated military as such, depending rather upon small vigilante militias that fight using their powers over light- hence
even such a small town could muster a reasonably sized force.
"The few hundred of them set off and nothing was heard of them for five days, until eventually the scraps of the mob returned, battered and bloodied but triumphant. They told the people that there had been six casters, and that five were dead and one, mortally wounded, had escaped. In return, they had lost just under two hundred men.
"Faith had a very busy time after that, seeing to the injured and giving them life once more. She spent every waking minute of the day in the town, looking after those who had risked their lives to put an end to the terror, and at the end of every day she would return home exhausted to her farm to recharge for the next.
"Four days after the battle, she returned to her home to find that she was not alone. The door, which she had left unlocked for lack of any threat, was hanging open on its hinges, and the candles had been lit. Upon entering, she discovered a man, coated in blood, of which only some appeared to be his, passed out in her bed. He was grievously wounded, teetering on the border between life and death, and had come to find warmth and shelter.
"She knew he was a caster the moment she laid eyes on him. The more powerful lumin have that ability, which is why I don't like going to them if I don't have to. She knew too that he must be the dead group's leader, the one who had fled and had been presumed dead. She should have killed him there, should have finished the job her people had lost their lives to begin, but somehow she couldn't. She was too pure. Too innocent. Too gentle, and to generous. She couldn't bring herself to kill the man, so instead she healed him.
"I told you that she was unnaturally good at healing; that her powers were abnormally strong. Well, for some reason, that had a very great impact on the man. Just as she healed his body, for the first and only time in known history she was able to heal his mind. His anger, his violence, his hatred and malice and ruthlessness, she somehow managed to dispel them too, leaving him not a monster but a man, just like any other.
"Even with her help, it took him a week to be back to full health. Over that time they talked a lot, and eventually she got to know him. His name was Kaira. The casters were a splinter of a cult dedicated to eternal life, life at the cost of those around them, and he had taken it over by killing the previous ruler. They had been preying upon the village because it was far enough away from any major cities that they wouldn't have to worry about a mobilised counterattack, but at the same time still had a good number of victims to prey upon. They were wrong to think they were safe from reprisals, but then not many people can predict a lumin's resolve when it's backed up by an unhealthy religious fervour.
"It didn't take long for them to fall into a twisted and unnatural love with each other. She never revealed his existence to anyone else, because it would have been suicide, but I'm told that they loved each other a great deal. At some point, I was conceived.
"Lumin have a very strict, dictatorial, set of rules that they abide by. One of the key is 'never before marriage'. It never works for them, because even the most dedicated devotee can slip eventually, but the consequences for breaking it are extremely harsh nonetheless. Once her pregnancy could no longer be blamed on overeating, she stopped visiting the town lest they find out. A naive idea based upon the life of one who had never once looked at the world with pragmatic eyes, and one doomed predictably to failure.
"Sure enough, there came a time when some of the villagers came to her house to check up on her- she'd simply stopped turning up one day, and her excuse had been pathetically feeble, so they were concerned about her wellbeing.
"They arrived, and they found her with child. They were willing to leave at that, simply to kill me when once she gave birth, except that she had never been known to associate with any man. They searched the house, and they found Kaira hiding. Kaira wanted to kill them to stop them talking, but Faith wouldn't let him. Even facing the consequences of her actions, she couldn't bring it upon herself to lose that oh so precious honesty of hers.
"The lumin left, and returned that night with a furious militia. Faith, their very own prodigy, had been tainted by the temptation of evil and had to be purged. They thought that the only way she could atone for her transgressions was for her to die, taking both them and me to the grave. After a heated argument, Kaira managed to convince her to run whilst he held them off- if not for my sake, she would have chosen to die with him.
"Hunted, terrified, and eight months pregnant, Faith fled into the forest. Kaira eventually fell, having been pierced by a dozen spears of light. I'm told he died with a smile on his face. As if it matters.
"In her state, there was no way my mother could have outrun them. Even in the dark of the night, still she couldn't hide from their judgement. She was caught by a group of three who had split off from the main force to search, and found her more by luck than skill. She was forced to use her powers to defend herself, and ended up killing them in her panicked terror. In the ensuing fight, however, she was mortally wounded and would have died if not for her determination that I must survive.
"Eventually she found salvation in a rather unlikely form; a little community of thieves, bandits, and conmen who had set up a temporary camp in the trees. Bleeding to death, she stumbled into their midst and begged them to rescue me. There is, as the phrase goes, honour among thieves, and they consented. They cut me from her belly, and she died loathing herself in that forest. They fled their camp for fear of reprisal and returned to the small village they normally inhabited, a well-hidden place in a different forest twoscore miles away.
"I was raised in a pretty interesting manner. Rough as they were, children weren't really their thing, and I was the only one in the fifty person community. Instead, they raised me as just another adult of the village. They always looked out for me, but once I reached four or five they stopped looking after me. They told me that the best way to learn was through practice, and so that's what I did.
"At first I was a beggar. Not much of a living, but it was all I could do. I'd simply sit at a street corner, look downtrodden, and hold my hands out in front of me. As such a young child, people tended to be sympathetic rather than disgusted, and so I never had too much trouble. Once I reached six or seven, they also began to teach me more useful and advanced skills.
"I had a man who taught me to fight, a man who taught me to hunt, and a man who taught me to survive- but I also had those who taught me to read, to write, to speak in such a manner that I could bend others to my will whilst making them think it was their own. Not one of them ever took it easy on me, and I always went to sleep battered and bruised, and mentally shattered. It was hard work, and punishing, but somehow I managed to overcome it. It was that life which made me strong, and it was being treated as an adult that allowed me to grow up so quickly.
"I became very skilled at the arts, and once that happened it suddenly became very easy. It was like anything else I guess- once it stops being a constant struggle, you have more freedom to decide whether you enjoy it or not. I decided that I did. I could talk a man out of his money with empty promises, or I could pick his pocket when he wasn't expecting it, or I could beat him and tear it from him afterwards. I loved it. The opportunity to run rings around people was something captivating, something immensely fulfilling.
"I became what I suppose you'd call an adrenaline junky. I began to pick fights recreationally rather than for profit. I began to sneak onto people's property and break into their houses, just to see whether I could. I developed the most dangerous interests I could find, anything that could possibly help me to feel alive.
"The others never lied to me. They told me what I was from the moment I was born. I knew that I was a monster, and I knew that while my peers were willing to help me nonetheless, the rest of the world would not be the same. That I learned firsthand from a few childhood incidents in which I foolishly let my powers show. It always ended in a beating, so it didn't take me long to understand what I really was to this world.
"It never bothered me. I never
knew any different. Being a monster was just part of the job description I guess- I was raised by a bunch of criminals and fugitives, and however uncomfortable I made them feel we really weren't that different at the core. I learned to use my powers from when I learned to walk, and they came to me more naturally than anything else. Conversely, I've never even felt the slightest hint of any lumin magic, despite how strongly it was manifested in my mother. Perhaps it's because I was raised, always hiding in the dark, never turning towards the light.
"When I was thirteen I decided that it was time I made my own way in the world. Fighting was always my greatest strength and my greatest hobby, so it was a pretty logical step to put myself down as a mercenary. I've been taking contracts like this for the past four years, although I guess you could say I've been freelance for even longer than that. I've never really gotten on well with others, partly because I'm wary of them and partly because I'm not used to it, so I've always tended to go for solo assignments. This isn't the first time I've worked in a group, but it's one of a small few. I only signed up for this because of the pay." He raised his hands, shrugging. "That's me, I guess. Now you know."
