Me: I’m sorry, Master. Maybe you should punish me? At work? On your desk? I’ve always wanted to take your cock on your desk.
Master: Where are you?
Me: You mean you don’t know?
Master: I have a free period at 11:30. You’re to be here in two hours. In a skirt with no panties. No bra or shirt, only a sweater with easy access buttons.
My sex ached. I squirmed in the front seat and bit my lip, fingers already shaking around my phone.
Me: You’re making me wet, my dark master.
Master: Bring lunch. Homemade.
I giggled, setting my phone in my clutch and returning to his place. My dinky car looked out of place in his grand driveway, meandering through the stone path cut into the forest. I didn’t know much about cooking. Snacks out of plastic when I could afford to eat was the extent of my abilities. I caved.
Me: I don’t know how to cook.
Master: Call Vega. She knows what I like.
Me: I’d rather take a caning than talk to her.
Master: Be careful what you ask for, baby. Caning is extreme, but it isn’t off the list.
I leaned against the counter and texted, glaring at the screen. I didn’t have to respect her outside of her presence. He hadn’t specified that.
Me: Just tell me what to make. You love telling me what to do anyway. Buying out the lease on my apartment without even telling me. Why is lunch any different, Master?
Master: Watch it, Miya.
Me: Or what? You’ll spank me? News flash, I like it!
How dare he suggest that to me? She wasn’t my mistress, and after hearing the way she made him suffer all those years made me truly dislike her.
Master: I’ll take a raincheck on lunch. Vega and I will go out instead. That is for disrespecting me. You’re to kneel by the door with your clothes off until I get home. If I get home and you’re not there, a caning will be the least of your worries.
My blood became so boiled I snapped. I kept seeing the hot blonde with my Jaxon, feeding him, making him cum. He was mine, damn it. How could he use my heart as a weapon? Weren’t his spankings enough?
Me: I’m sure Samuel wouldn’t mind taking me out.
The second I sent it, my stomach filled with dread. “Shit.” I tried to unsend it, but it was too late. “Shit!” I hissed, slapping my hand on the counter.
Me: I’m sorry. I’m kneeling as we speak.
He didn’t say another word to me. I took off all my clothes and kneeled by the door, keeping my legs open and my breasts facing the door so he’d see his favorite parts as soon as he walked in. I kneeled until my legs fell asleep and my stomach growled with hunger. Until the light outside became the black of night, and it cloaked the inside of his house.
When he came home, I was halfway asleep, chin lolling to my chest. My head snapped up and I gasped at the feeling of his fist in my hair. He wrenched me back and wasted no time taking off his pants. He freed his cock and shoved it into my mouth.
“You taste her pussy on my cock?” When I screamed on his cock in rage, he shoved it deeper into my mouth the way Samuel had in his dungeon, making me deepthroat his girth. Except I didn’t want to take it, and my heart was shattering.
Because I did taste her pussy on his dick. I’d tasted my own while masturbating to know the difference, and I’d tasted Sam’s penis to know that pussy and dick didn’t taste the same. Combined, they tasted like this. Like intense betrayal and never ending heartache.
Tears burst through my eyes and I ripped his hands from my head and freed myself from him.
“That is the last time you disrespect me, or threaten me. Every time you do, I will go to her. She knows how to please me, Miya. Better than anyone else.”
I …
I … couldn’t even form thoughts.
That’s how severely he just broke my heart.
“You had sex with her?” I covered my mouth in horror. My heart was decimated.
He didn’t answer. He simply quirked one arrogant, soulless brow at me and put his dick back in his jeans.
My eyes closed in deep agony. I sobbed looking into his eyes. “How could you do that to me, Jaxon? As if sleeping with her wasn’t bad enough, you force your cock in my mouth? You force your cock in my mouth with her on it!” I screamed, pushing to my feet.
I felt naked, exposed, and stupid screaming at him without my clothes on. Insignificant. Like he never loved me at all.
He didn’t react. He was stone. Evil hard stone.
“You force yourself on me?” I slapped him so hard his eyes twitched. Then I slapped him again, losing control on him. “I gave my virginity to you! I took beatings for you! I let another man shove his cock in my mouth for you! I’m naked for you, kneeling for you, and you go out and cheat on me because I disrespected you!” I made a fist and punched him right in his disgusting cheating piece of shit face.
He groaned, fighting with my hands. “Miya, stop. Stop!” he roared, when I kneed him in the balls.
“Don’t touch me!” I shouted, losing my mind. I fought with all my might to free myself from his grip. “How could you do that to me?”
He tried to pull me against his chest, but I was done. I shoved him off and pointed at him, clutching my breaking heart with my other hand.
“You’re right. You are a monster. A heartless piece of garbage. Who steals women’s virginities, turns their asses into sores, and their hearts into stone. You’re a monster!” I shoved at his chest. “I take back my submission. I never want to see you again.”
The color drained from his face. My angel of darkness was falling. His eyes cleared of evil and I saw the realization of what he did finally sinking in. It was the first time I saw his anger as a blockage. It blocked his heart from his good more than it let it free.
“Miya, you can’t do that.” He grabbed for me.
His touch disgusted me. “Do not touch me again. You’re not my master anymore. You’re just some sick bastard who tricked me. And now I have no apartment, no college, and no anything, BECAUSE OF YOU!” I had never, in my entire life, been more enraged than I was in that moment. I stomped into the kitchen and started getting dressed.
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I was angry. I only saw red. Miya, please,” he begged, his voice breaking when I didn’t react.
I’d given him so much of me and all he did was punish me for it. There was nothing left. My own tears flowed as I tried to get around him. His large body fought my failing slaps at his face and gripped them behind my back. He wrapped me in his arms.
“Please don’t do this to me. To us. I’m sorry, baby. I’m sorry!” he wailed, sobbing into my neck. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” He repeated it, his body succumbing to this deep grief I think existed constantly inside of him. “Please. I need you. I need you, Miya.” He held me so tightly, it was difficult to breathe.
My cries were so deep, I didn’t see how we’d ever work this out. I didn’t want to work it out. I didn’t want to feel so much pain around the man I loved. I wanted pain that made my pleasure better, not pain that led to nothing but more pain.
My arms hung at my sides. I refused to hug him back as our grief filled the kitchen.
Grief, because we were done.
I struggled to finish dressing with him hanging off my body. Pushing him off only made him hold me tighter. He spewed excuses at me I refused to hear. Apologies meant nothing when he’d done so to make me feel this way in the first place.
All I could think of was him filling her the way he’d filled me, taking her as high as he’d taken me, and then dropping me from our highest point, and sobbing over the shatters he created.
He made pain the way magicians made magic, weaving it out of his darkness to feel alive.
“You can’t leave right now. Where will you go?” he insisted.
“Like you give a damn where I go. Don’t say you care!” I glowered at him murderously when he opened his mouth to argue. “You never cared about me. You’re a man, with
a cock and a desire for pain, and you found some dumb naïve nineteen-year-old girl to take your shit out on. Joke’s over, Jaxon.” I took his phone out of my clutch and smashed it with all my might into his hardwood floors. “Just like us.”
I wrenched his door open and ran down his deck for my car in the driveway, pumping my feet when I heard him screaming behind me. I rushed to get into my car, slamming the locks down in time for him to reach me. He pulled on the handle like a madman. He punched the window, his face a mask of pure torture as I turned my car on.
I put it in reverse and sped out of the driveway, whipping it in drive and speeding down the dark path in the forest. I couldn’t see through my tears, and knew he would follow me in his Lexus. I had to get far enough before he caught up to me.
I was shaking with rage, my fingers barely able to grip the steering wheel. One good thing, if there was such a thing, was that I had no ties any longer, and hiding would be so much easier now. What with my life completely over.
I could fade to the nothing I’d always existed in.
Only this time, it would kill me.
15.
My landlord wouldn’t answer his door that night or the next morning. I slammed my fist against my steering wheel and leaned back, dragging my fingers through my hair. I was exhausted and numb, unable to think the way I knew I should be able to.
Having no other options, I went to the only person I had left.
Samuel’s mansion was the color of dusty stones, bright against the gray Oregon sky. The gate out front was open and I drove through, parking next to an expensive looking silver sports car. There was one other, but it wasn’t nearly as rich. And at the far end of the driveway by what looked like a back gate was a moving truck with Carter Moving Company on the side in large black lettering.
Someone I didn’t know answered the door. A petite blonde probably in her late forties with a black uniform on. “Hello?” She smiled curiously. “Mr. Carter didn’t mention another visitor.”
“Is Mr. Carter’s first name Samuel?”
She nodded slowly, looking me up and down. “Anything to say?”
“Huh?”
“No code?”
“Code?”
She laughed and shook her head. “What do you want?”
This woman was so succinct. “I want to speak to him if he’s in.”
“He is. He’s busy, though. Probably will be until six tonight. Can I tell him you stopped by?”
He was with a submissive. It was probably that car in the driveway, the same dinky one like mine. Code words probably helped this woman differentiate between subs and normal people.
I felt disappointed. I’d have no choice but to find a place to nap until 6. It was only seven in the morning. “Yes, please. Tell him Miya stopped by and I really need his help.”
Her eyes widened. “Miya? I’ve heard Mr. Carter speak of you.”
“You have?”
She smiled warmly. “Come in. If you don’t mind waiting? He’s a little preoccupied.” She cleared her throat, hiding her eyes.
If only she knew … “I’ll come back. Can you tell him I’ll be here at six-thirty?”
“Of course. He’ll want to know you were here, though. I get that impression and Nina doesn’t question her impressions. Come on, please. Mr. Carter’s a sweetheart, if, you please him. Better safe than sorry.”
She knew him well. I saw it in her eyes. “Is he with a sub?” I guessed quietly.
She looked relieved that I knew. “Yes. I’m not to interrupt, but he talks of you fondly. Samuel hasn’t talked of a woman fondly in his entire life, Miya. So, you’re coming in. Do you know your way around?”
I stepped inside and nodded hesitantly. “Kind of.”
“Are you hungry?”
I bit my lip and sighed. “No. I’ll just see—”
“He won’t like it if I don’t feed you when you’re so obviously hungry.” She sighed. “You’re hardheaded. It’s a wonder you two can get along.”
I snorted. “Geez, you don’t keep much in.”
“He likes honesty and that’s all I have. It’s why we work so well together. Go in the kitchen. There’s fresh coffee. Make a cup and I’ll be in to make you something shortly.” She gave my bottom a light slap, her eyes playful.
I couldn’t help doing what she said, walking through the living room and past the bar. The kitchen was beyond another sitting room in its own large section of the house. It smelled like coffee and safety. I felt instantly at home, searching for a mug.
“He’ll be up in ten,” Nina announced cheerfully. “Told you he’d want to see you. Mugs are in the cupboard above the coffee maker. I’ll do it,” she shooed. “Sit down at the bar.”
I sank down gratefully, rubbing my tired eyes. “How long has he been in there?”
“An hour. Are you a submissive, too? He didn’t say and I didn’t ask. Which I found interesting.”
“Why?”
“Because you sounded like a woman to him,” she said sadly. “Instead of a plaything.”
“Honestly? I don’t know what I am anymore, Nina.”
“What do you mean?” She set down a mug of creamy coffee.
“I tried this for the first time a couple weeks ago and now I don’t know what’s going on.”
“For a man?” she guessed, clucking under her breath, but I didn’t feel her judgement, only her position. “Have you done it before?”
“No.” I was trying not to cry. But I was failing.
“Oh, sweetheart.” She came around to hug my head to her chest. “Is he like Mr. Carter? A broken womanizer?”
I laughed through my tears and nodded against her, finding her hugs so comforting, my tears increased. “He cheated on me. Because I’m not … I’m not like his usual subs.”
She snorted, patting my head. “No, he cheated because he’s like Mr. Carter. They don’t see the world the same way we do. They try to, which is why they do what they do, but they’re wired differently. Pain does that to a person. But still, cheating isn’t something to put up with. Especially in their lifestyles. Trust is important.”
I buried my face against her chest. “I’m so fucking mad and hurt. Fucking asshole.”
“I prefer motherfucker.”
I laughed through my tears, blubbering. “That’s a good one too.”
“What’s wrong?” Samuel demanded, coming into the room in only a pair of black jeans. Sweat glistened on his abs and he looked every part the dominant. Sexy, bad, controlling; my throat bobbed. One look at me, and his blue eyes darkened. “What did he do, Miya?” He swept me in his arms.
The moment I was in his embrace, I succumbed. I sobbed against him, letting my pain out to the only person who could ever understand. I held him as tightly as he held me. He smelled like sweat and sex, this musky intoxicating odor that felt powerful and strengthening.
“What did he do, my sweet girl?” He grasped my face between his hands.
“He cheated on me with Vega. And then he came home, wrenched my head back, and shoved his Vega-covered cock into my mouth so I could taste her on him.” I broke down all over again.
He inhaled sharply. “That fucking piece of shit. Did you leave him?” He sounded like he expected the answer already.
“Yes.”
“Good. You’ll stay here. I’ve got plenty of rooms.”
So simple. Not an ounce of question. He had taken complete control in seconds. “I don’t need to stay here for a long time. Just a couple of days until I can get a new place, if that’s okay?”
He laughed caustically. “I didn’t ask you, Miya. You’ll stay here. You need to regroup. Do it in a safe environment? Do it with me.” He nodded, taking control.
Right now, I didn’t know what to do with mine anyway.
“When did this happen?”
“Last night.” I pulled away and wiped my face.
“Where have you been since then?”
“Driving around and trying to get my landlord t
o let me back into my apartment. He won’t let me.”
“Why would he? Jax paid him off. You’re not even a legal tenant there anymore. I had my movers get your stuff after he asked. You’ll have your things, or I can buy you new stuff.”
“My things are fine.”
“You haven’t slept? Ate?”
I shook my head.
“Oh, Miya. Come. Drink your coffee and Nina will take care of you. She’s the only woman I trust in this world. She’ll take wonderful care of you. Nina!” he called.
She came back in after giving us privacy, lips pursed and eyes knowing.
“You’ll take care of her, please?”
“Of course, Mr. Carter.”
“I’ve got to go and take care of … something. I’ll be back in an hour.”
“No, go play. You’re an incorrigible asshole without it. Go, I’ve got her.” Nina pushed him out of the room after he threw me a worried look. Once he was gone, she grinned at me. “You’re in my hands. Scared?”
I giggled sadly. “Not even a little, Nina.”
Her grin dropped. “Fine. Eggs and bagel, good?”
“Yes, thank you.” I dropped my face in my hands. My wounds were too raw and fresh to think. My anger and hurt both wanted the same thing right now. To be far away from my largest source of pain.
“You know what really sucks about heartache?” she said suddenly, gently stirring the fluffy golden eggs in the pan with her back to me. “You’ll seek it out again. Hurt that intense exists because the love is just as strong. And maybe you make sense of good by the bad, just like Mr. Carter.”
Her words left me with a sudden intense sadness. It was too strong in the moment to fully comprehend, because I thought despite my inability to piece it together, some part of me had already done so. And accepted that she was right. Pain on its own wasn’t simply by itself. It was waiting for happiness, so it could remind you how much stronger it could be.
Dark Master (Dark Masters Book 1) Page 11
