Carol’s steps were filled with purpose as she moved down the wide aisle to women’s shoes. She picked up a red low-heeled dress shoe that was on display, but when the clerk approached, she smiled and shook her head. Within a couple of minutes she was on her way.
Feeling more like a fool with every minute, Steve followed her out of the store and into the heart of the mall. The place was packed, as it generally was on Saturday afternoon. Usually Steve avoided the mall on weekends, preferring to do his shopping during the day or at night.
He saw Carol stop at a flower stand and buy herself a red rosebud. She’d always been fond of flowers, and he was pleased that she treated herself to something special.
She’d gone only a few steps when he noticed that her steps had slowed.
Something was wrong. He could tell from the way she walked. He cut across to the other side, where the flow of shoppers was heading in the opposite direction. Feeling like a secret government agent, he pressed himself against the storefront in an effort to watch her more closely. She had pressed her hand to her abdomen and her face had gone deathly pale. She was in serious pain, he determined as a sense of alarm filled him. Steve could feel it as strongly as if he were the one suffering.
Although he was certain she had full view of him, Carol didn’t notice. She cut across the streams of shoppers to the benches that lined the middle of the concourse and sat. Her shoulders moved up and down as though she were taking in deep breaths in an effort to control her reaction to whatever was happening. She closed her eyes and bit her lower lip.
The alarm turned to panic. He didn’t know what to do. He couldn’t rush up to her and demand to know what was wrong. Nor could he casually stroll by and pretend he just happened to be shopping and had stumbled upon her. But something needed to be done—someone had to help her.
Steve had never felt more helpless in his life. Not knowing what else he could do, he walked up and plopped himself down next to her.
“Hi,” he said in a falsely cheerful voice.
“Steve.” She looked at him, her eyes brimming with tears. She reached for his hand, gripping it so hard her nails cut into his flesh.
All pretense was gone, wiped away by the stampeding fear he sensed in her.
“What’s wrong?”
She shook her head. “I … I don’t know.”
Her eyes widened and he was struck by how yellow her skin was. He took her hand in both of his. “You’re in pain?”
She nodded. Her fear palatable. “I’m so afraid.”
“What do you want me to do?” He debated on whether he should could call for an ambulance or contact her doctor and have him meet them at the hospital.
“I … don’t know what’s wrong. I’ve had this pain twice, but it’s always gone away after a couple of minutes.” She closed her eyes. “Oh, Steve, I’m so afraid I’m going to lose my baby.”
Twelve
Restless, Steve paced the corridor of the maternity ward in Overlake Hospital, his hands stuffed inside his pants pockets. He felt as though he were carrying the world on his shoulders. Each passing minute tightened the knot in his stomach until he was consumed with worry and dread.
He wanted to see Carol—he longed to talk to her—but there wasn’t anything more for him to say. He’d done what he could for her, and by rights he should leave. But he couldn’t walk away from her. Not now. Not when she needed him.
Not knowing what else to do, he found a pay phone and contacted his sister.
“Lindy, it’s Steve.”
“Steve, how are you? I’m so glad you phoned. I haven’t stopped thinking about you.”
She sounded so pleased to hear from him, and he swallowed down his guilt for the way he’d treated her. He’d been rude and unreasonable when she’d only been showing concern for him.
“I’m fine,” he said hurriedly. “Listen, I’m at Overlake Hospital …”
“You’re at the hospital? You’re fine, but you’re at Overlake? Good God, what happened? I knew it, I just knew something like this was going to happen. I felt it …”
“Lindy, shut up for a minute, would you?”
“No, I won’t shut up—I’m family, Steve Kyle. Family. If you can’t come to me when you’re hurting, just who can you go to? You seem to think I’m too young to know anything about emotional pain, but you’re wrong. When Paul dumped me it wasn’t any Sunday-school picnic.”
“I’m not the one in need of medical attention—it’s Carol.”
“Carol!” His blurted announcement seemed to sweep away all his sister’s pent-up frustration. “What’s wrong?” she asked quietly.
“I don’t exactly know; the doctor’s still with her. I think she might be losing the baby. She needs a woman—I’m the last person who should be here. I didn’t know who else to call. Can you come?”
“Of course. I’ll be there as fast as I can.”
It seemed as though no more than a couple of minutes had passed before Lindy came rushing down the hall. He stood at the sight of her, immensely grateful. Relief washed over him and he wrapped his arms around her.
“The doctor hasn’t come out yet,” he explained before she could ask. He released her and checked his watch. “It’s been over an hour now.”
“What happened?”
“I’m not sure. Carol started having some kind of abdominal pains. I phoned her gynecologist, and after I explained what was happening, he suggested we meet him here.”
“You said you thought Carol might be having a miscarriage?”
“Good Lord, I don’t know anything about this woman stuff. All I can tell you is that she was in agony. I did the only thing I could—I got her here.” The ten minutes it took to get Carol to the emergency room had been emotionally draining. She was terrified of losing the baby and had wept almost uncontrollably. Through her sobs she’d told him how much she wanted her baby and how this pregnancy would be her only opportunity. Little of what she’d said had made sense to Steve. He’d tried to find the words to assure her, but he hadn’t really known what to say.
Just then Steve noticed Carol’s physician, Dr. Stewart, push open the swinging door and walk toward the waiting area. He met him halfway.
“How is she?” he asked, his heart in his throat.
The gynecologist rubbed his hand down the side of his jaw and shook his head. His frown crowded his brows together. “She’s as good as can be expected.”
“The baby?”
“The pregnancy is progressing nicely … thus far.”
Although the child wasn’t his and Carol had tried to trick him into believing otherwise, Steve still felt greatly relieved knowing that her baby wasn’t in any immediate danger.
“I’m sorry to keep you waiting so long, but quite frankly Carol’s symptoms had me stumped. It’s unusual for someone her age to suffer from this sort of problem.”
“What problem?” Lindy blurted out.
“Gall bladder.”
“Gall bladder,” Steve repeated, frowning. He didn’t know what he’d expected, but it certainly hadn’t been that.
“She tells me she’s been suffering from flulike symptoms, which she accepted as morning sickness. There wasn’t any reason for either of us to assume otherwise. Some of her other discomforts can be easily misinterpreted as well.
“The most serious threat at the moment is that she’s dangerously close to being dehydrated. Predictably that has prompted other health risks.”
“What do you mean?” Lindy asked.
“Her sodium and potassium levels have dropped and her heart rate is erratic. I’ve started an IV and that problem should take care of itself within a matter of hours.”
“What’s going to happen?”
Once more, Dr. Stewart ran a hand down the side of his face and shook his head. His kind eyes revealed his concern. “I’ve called in a surgeon friend of mine, and we’re going to do a few more preliminary tests. But from what I’m seeing at this point, I don’t think we can put off operating
. Her gall bladder appears to be acutely swollen and is causing an obstruction.”
“If you do the surgery, what will happen to the baby?” For Carol’s sake, Steve prayed for the tiny life she was carrying.
Dr. Stewart’s sober expression turned grim. “There’s always a risk to the pregnancy when anesthesia is involved. I’d like to delay this, but I doubt that we can. Under normal conditions gall-bladder surgery can be scheduled at a patient’s convenience, but not in Carol’s case, I fear. But I want you to know, we’ll do everything I can to save the child.”
“Please try.” Carol had looked at him with such terror and helplessness that he couldn’t help being affected. He would do everything humanly possible to see that she carried this child to full term.
“Please do what you can.” Lindy added her own plea. “This child means a great deal to her.”
Dr. Stewart nodded. “Carol’s sleeping now, but you can see her for a couple of minutes, if you’d like. One at a time.”
Steve looked to Lindy, who gestured for him to go in first. He smiled his appreciation and followed the grandfatherly doctor into Carol’s room.
As Dr. Stewart had explained, she was sleeping soundly. She looked incredibly fragile with tubes stretching down from an IV pole to connect with the veins in her arm.
Steve stood beside her for several minutes, loving her completely. Emotion clogged his throat and he turned away. He loved her; he always would. No matter what had happened in the past, he couldn’t imagine a future without Carol.
“How is she?” Lindy asked when he came out of the room.
He found he couldn’t answer her with anything more than a short nod.
Lindy disappeared and returned five minutes later. By then Steve had had a chance to form a plan of action, and he felt better for it.
As Lindy stepped toward him, he held her gaze with newfound determination. He and Carol were both fools if they thought they could stay apart. It wasn’t going to work. Without Carol he was only half-alive. And she’d admitted how miserable she’d been during their year’s separation.
“I’m going to marry her,” Steve informed his sister brusquely.
“What?” Lindy looked at him as though she’d misheard him.
“I’m going to get the chaplain to come to the hospital, and I’m going to marry Carol.”
Lindy studied him for several moments. “Don’t you think she should have some say in this?”
“Yes … no.”
“But I thought … Carol told me you didn’t believe the baby is yours.”
“It isn’t.”
Lindy rolled her eyes, then shook her head, her features tight with impatience. “That is the most ridiculous thing you’ve ever said. Honestly, Steve, where do you come up with these crazy ideas?”
“What idea? That the baby isn’t mine, or remarrying Carol?”
“Both!”
“Whether or not I’m the father doesn’t make one bit of difference. I’ve decided it doesn’t matter. From here on out, I’m claiming her child as mine.”
“But …”
“I don’t care. I love Carol and I’ll learn to love her baby. That’s the end of it.” Once the decision had been made, it felt right. The two of them had played a fool’s game for over a year, but no more—he wouldn’t stand for it. “I’m not going to put up with any arguments from you or from Carol. I want her as my wife—we were wrong ever to have gone through with the divorce. All I’m doing now is correcting a mistake that should never have happened,” he told his sister in a voice that men jumped to obey.
Lindy took a moment to digest his words. “Don’t you think you should discuss this in a rational matter with Carol? Don’t you think she should have some input into her own life?”
“I suppose. But she needs me—although she isn’t likely to admit it.”
“You’ve had just as difficult a time recognizing that fact yourself.”
“Not anymore.”
“When do you plan to tell her?”
Steve didn’t know. He’d only reached this conclusion in the last five minutes, but already he felt in control of his life again.
“Well?” his sister pressed.
“I haven’t figured out when…. Before the surgery, I think, if it can be arranged.”
“Steve, you’re not thinking clearly. Carol isn’t going to want to be married sitting in a hospital bed, looking all sickly and pale.”
“The sooner we get this settled the better.”
“For whom?” Lindy prompted.
“For both of us.”
Lindy threw up her hands. “Sometimes the things you say utterly shock me.”
“They do?” Steve didn’t care—he felt as if he could float out of the hospital, he was so relieved. Carol would probably come through the surgery with flying colors and everything would fall into place the way it should have long ago. This had certainly been a crazy day. He’d bought a sterling silver rattle, followed Carol around a shopping mall like an FBI agent, driven her to the hospital, then made a decision that would go a long way toward assuring their happy future. Steve sighed deeply, feeling suddenly weary.
“Is there any other bombshell you’d care to hit me with?” Lindy asked teasingly.
Steve paused and then surprised her by nodding. Some of the happiness he’d experienced earlier vanished. There was one other decision he’d made—one not as pleasant but equally necessary.
“Should I sit down for this one?” Lindy asked, still grinning. She slipped her arm around his waist and looked up at him.
“I don’t think so.”
“Well, don’t keep me in suspense, big brother.”
Steve regarded her soberly. “I’m leaving the Navy.”
Thirteen
Carol opened her eyes slowly. The room was dim, the blinds over the window closed. She frowned when her gaze fell on the IV stand, and she tried to raise herself.
“You’re in the hospital.” Steve’s voice was warm and caressing.
She lowered her head back to the pillow and turned toward the sound. Steve stood at her bedside. From the ragged, tired look about him, she guessed he’d been standing there all night.
“How long have you been here?” she asked hoarsely, testing her tongue.
“Not very long.”
She closed her eyes and grinned. “You never could tell a decent lie.”
He brushed the hair from her cheek and his fingers lingered on her face as though he needed to touch her. She knew she should ask him to leave, but his presence comforted her. She needed him. She didn’t know how he’d happened to be at Northgate Mall, but she would always be grateful he’d found her when he did.
Her hand moved to her stomach, and she flattened it there. “The baby’s all right?”
Steve didn’t answer her for a moment, and a sickening sense of dread filled her. Her eyes flew open. The doctor had repeatedly assured her that the baby was safe, but something might have happened while she had slept. She’d been out for hours and much of what had taken place after they arrived at the hospital remained foggy in her mind.
“Everything’s fine with the pregnancy.”
“Thank God,” she whispered fervently.
“Dr. Stewart said you were near exhaustion.” He reached for her hand and laced his fingers with hers. His thumb worked back and forth on the inside of her wrist.
“I think I could sleep for a week,” Carol said, her voice starting to sound more sure. It seemed as though it had been years since she’d had a decent rest. Even before her pregnancy had been confirmed she’d felt physically and emotionally drained, as if she were running on a treadmill, working as fast as her legs would carry her and getting nowhere.
“How do you feel now?”
Carol had to think about it. “Different. I don’t know how to describe it. I’m not exactly sick and I’m not in any pain, but something’s not right, either.”
“You should have recognized that weeks ago. According to Dr. Stewar
t, you’ve probably been feeling ill for months.”
“They know what’s causing the problem?” Her heart started to work doubly hard. Not until the severe attack of pain in the shopping mall had she been willing to admit something could be wrong with her.
“Dr. Stewart thinks it could be your gall bladder.”
“My what?”
“Gall bladder,” he repeated softly. “I’m sure he can explain it far better than I can, but from what I understand it’s a pear-shaped pouch close to the liver.”
Carol arched her brows at his attempt at humor and offered him a weak smile. “That explains it.”
Steve grinned back at her, and for a moment everything went still. His eyes held such tenderness that she dared to hope again—dared to believe he’d discovered the truth about her and their baby. Dared to let the love that was stored in her heart shine through her eyes.
“I never thought I’d see you again,” she said, and her voice quivered with emotion.
Steve lowered his gaze briefly. “I couldn’t stay away. I love you too much.”
“Oh, Steve, how could we do this to each other? You think such terrible things of me and I can’t bear it anymore. I keep telling myself the baby and I would be better off without you, and then I feel only half alive. When we’re separated, nothing feels right in my life—nothing is good.”
“When I’m not with you, I’m only a shell.” He raised her hand to his lips and kissed her knuckles.
Carol felt the tears gather in her eyes and she turned her head away, unwilling to have Steve witness her emotion. No man would ever be more right for her, and no man could ever be so wrong.
She heard the sound of a chair being pushed to the side of the bed. “I want us to remarry,” he said firmly. “I’ve thought it over. In fact, I haven’t thought of anything else in the past fifteen hours—and I’m convinced this is the right thing for us to do.”
Carol knew it was right, too. “But what about the baby?” she whispered. “You think—”
“From this moment on, the child is mine in my heart and in my soul. He’s a part of you and that’s the only important thing.”
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