“Talk to me, Melanie. You don’t remember anything about breaking the pictures?”
She raised her eyes to look at him and in the simmering depths of them he saw fear. “The only thing I remember about last night was nightmares, horrible dreams about dying dancers.” Her spoon clattered to the table as if her fingers didn’t have the strength to hold it another moment.
She went on. “How could I have done that and not remembered? But it had to be me. I mean, that’s the only thing that makes sense and yet it doesn’t make any sense. Did you hear anything? Breaking glass?”
He shook his head. “No, but I’m sleeping in the bedroom farthest from the living room. I hear street noises more than I hear anything from down here.”
She rubbed the center of her forehead, as if a headache threatened to blossom there. “First there was the teakettle, then my robe and nightgown and now this.”
“What about your robe and nightgown?”
She quickly explained to him about how those articles of clothing hadn’t been where they were supposed to be the night before. “Then there was that weird phone call where somebody was just breathing on the line. Maybe I just imagined that.”
“That’s easy enough to check.” Adam got up from the table and grabbed the cordless phone and handed it to her. “Check the caller ID. Show me what phone call you’re talking about. It should be easy, because you don’t get that many calls.”
She nodded and punched the button for the history of calls. There were several calls from Tilly, but no number that didn’t belong there. “It’s not here,” she said flatly as she handed the phone back to Adam. “I must be going crazy.” She rubbed her forehead once again.
“You aren’t crazy,” Adam scoffed. “You’re under stress. Your leg has been bothering you. You have somebody living under your roof. You might be doing some strange things, but you definitely aren’t crazy.”
She flashed him a grateful smile. The gesture lasted only a moment and then her lips turned downward. “One thing is for certain. I’m never taking one of those pain pills again!” she exclaimed.
“You took one last night?”
“Two,” she admitted. “My leg and foot were giving me fits, so I took one about ten and then around ten-thirty I took another one.”
She wheeled back from the table and into the living room, where she carefully transferred herself from the chair to the sofa. Adam followed and sat next to her, wanting to somehow comfort her as tears began to fill her eyes.
“I feel like I’ve lost everything that meant anything to me and now I’m slowly losing my mind.” As her tears began to trek down her cheeks, she lowered her head in obvious despair.
Aware that once again he was treading on dangerous ground, he pulled her into his arms. She remained stiff for a long moment and then collapsed against him as her tears became deep, wrenching sobs.
He held her without saying a word, knowing that anything he might say would only be salt on her wounds. To tell her she hadn’t lost something important was a lie. To tell her to buck up and face what had happened to her was insensitive. He knew instinctively what she needed at the moment was his silent support and his arms around her.
Despite the fact that she was crying, he couldn’t help but notice that he liked the feel of her slender body against him, that as he ran his hands down her arms, he could feel sinewy muscle that attested to the upper body strength she possessed.
She cried until she was all cried out and then she pulled herself to an upright position with a small embarrassed laugh. “I’m sorry,” she said as she wiped the tears from her eyes.
“Don’t apologize. You’re upset.”
“You’re a nice man, Adam, but I’m sure you didn’t move in here to be my crying towel. You can go on upstairs if you want. I’ll be fine.”
He frowned. “You aren’t dismissing me so easily this time,” he said and made no move away from her.
Her gaze left his and once again went to the wall of photos. “I’ve been so angry about everything. Maybe last night, with my pills and the crazy bad dreams, I finally vented that anger in an outward, physical way.”
“And hopefully the outburst has allowed you to get rid of the anger and move into the acceptance phase of all this.”
She chewed on her lower lip, a look of fear darkening her eyes. “I hope so.” Tension rolled off her in waves.
She leaned her head back against the sofa, looking as lovely as he’d ever seen her despite the redness of her eyes. “The anger has felt safe for so long. It was easy and had become comfortable. I don’t know how to feel about acceptance. I don’t even know if I’ll ever gain total acceptance.”
He fought the impulse to stroke the shiny hair that splayed out from her head against the back of the chocolate-brown sofa. “Trust me, I know how difficult acceptance of life’s curveballs can be.”
She looked at him curiously. “What do you mean?”
“My brother Sam has been in jail, awaiting trial, for over three months. He calls me about once a week but I never take his calls.” Tension twisted tight in his stomach. “I’m still so angry with him, with what he tried to do, that I’m just not ready to talk to him.” He frowned. “I think there’s a part of me that is afraid if I get too close to Sam, I might discover some of the same antisocial traits in myself.”
“That’s ridiculous,” she replied. “You are the kindest man I know, Adam. You aren’t capable of doing what Sam tried to do.” She released a small laugh. “We’re quite a pair.”
“We’re a pair that left the dinner dishes on the table.” He knew if he sat here next to her another minute, he would want to hold her in his arms once again. He would want to kiss her.
“Why don’t you sit tight and relax and I’ll take care of the cleanup?” he said as he stood.
“I don’t need help,” she protested, although without the bite in her voice he’d come to expect when he tried to do things for her.
“I know, but it’s not every day I offer to take care of the dishes, so I suggest you take me up on the offer when it’s made.”
Once again she smiled at him and he wanted to capture that smile in his heart forever. “Okay. Knock yourself out.”
As he returned to the kitchen, he frowned, wondering about the broken glass from the pictures and the misplaced teakettle. If she’d gotten a phone call, why hadn’t it shown up on her caller ID? It was possible that Tilly had accidently moved the teakettle the day before, when she’d been in to clean, but there was no way the older woman would have moved Melanie’s clothing or destroyed the photos of the woman she considered a daughter.
The only conclusion he could draw was that Melanie had done the damage herself in a drug-induced expression of whatever bad dreams and self-anger she’d suffered. He believed in his heart that the act of violence was an anomaly and obviously directed only at herself and what she had once been.
It didn’t scare him. His heart broke for her. It was obvious she was drifting in a sea of confusion, unsure where she now fit in the world. Surely that was what was causing her to do things she didn’t remember. He had to believe that, but if these kinds of things continued, he’d have to talk to her about seeing a doctor.
He hadn’t seen warning signs of madness in Sam, but from now on he intended to keep a close eye on Melanie and make sure if she really needed help, she’d get it.
It took him only minutes to clear their dishes from the table and put them into the dishwasher and then he returned to the living room, where she hadn’t changed positions on the sofa.
He returned to his spot next to her and for a long moment silence prevailed. “I spoke to Cameron today about what I need to do to become a deputy.”
“Good for you,” she replied. “And what did he tell you?”
“That the qualifications for becoming a deputy here in Grady Gulch are darned few, but he has no funds to hire a new deputy at this time.”
“What will you do if a position doesn’t open up her
e?”
He shrugged. “Look at some of the other small towns in the area and see if I can get hired on.”
“You wouldn’t feel bad about leaving Grady Gulch?” she asked.
He hesitated a long moment before replying. “Sure I would. This is my home and I love it here. I love the people here. I can’t imagine a week going by that I’m not eating at the Cowboy Café, interacting with friends and neighbors. But if at some point I have to accept that there isn’t a job here, then I’ll have to move on.”
“There’s that accept word again,” she said ruefully and he laughed. She frowned. “At least you have a plan.”
He gazed at her curiously. “You never considered that a time might come when you would no longer be able to perform?”
“You know the old saying. Those who can do and those who can’t teach. I’d just assumed when the time came that I was no longer viable as a performer, then I’d open a dance school here in Grady Gulch. Other than that I hadn’t made any alternative life plans.”
A frown danced across her forehead once again. “But let’s not talk about this anymore. Tell me about happy times, Adam. Talk to me about your family when you were all young. Talk to me about Christmases past and Fourth of July celebrations.”
And that was exactly what he did.
He spoke of birthday parties and town festivals. They laughed together as he told her about searching the house for Christmas presents and crying when he found them, because he knew he’d ruined his own surprise on Christmas morning.
Many of the stories revolved around Adam and Sam, and as he told her the funny things that had happened with the two of them he felt a yearning for all that had been lost and would never be again.
“Now, tell me some things about your childhood here in Grady Gulch. Surely you have some nice memories,” he said.
“I do,” she agreed. “As you know, it was a wonderful place to grow up. Mom worked hard and I had dance lessons twice a week, but I still found time for friends. June Riley and I ran around a lot together. We stayed in touch for a while after I left town but she moved from here when she got married three years ago and I didn’t hear from her anymore.”
“Denver Walton certainly looked like he wouldn’t mind seeing you when I’m not around,” he said as he tried to ignore a touch of jealousy.
She laughed. “You mean when Maddy isn’t around. She was giving me the evil eye, just like she used to do when we were in high school. Denver is a couple of years older than me but we went out on a couple of dates and Maddy and her friends treated me like I was a piece of dog poo stuck to her high heels. I guess they dated off and on through high school.”
“They break up as often as a dog barks,” Adam said with humor.
It was almost midnight when she held up her hand and pleaded sleepiness. He didn’t offer to help her into the wheelchair, but rather watched with interest as she pulled it closer to where she sat, stood and balanced on her good foot, then pivoted into the chair.
“Thank you, Adam,” she said once she was settled in the wheelchair.
“For what?” He also got up from the sofa.
“For bringing back my laughter, for giving me things to smile about. I had forgotten about happiness before you moved in here and you’ve brought some of that back to me.”
“You’re an amazing woman, Melanie. I know you’ll figure out a way to do or be whoever you want.”
She gazed at him ruefully. “I’ve already had seven months in this chair and I’m no closer to figuring that out than I was on my first day on wheels.”
He smiled at her and pointed to the pictures on the wall. “Hopefully that was the last of your anger, or of you looking back and focusing on what you can’t do. Now it’s time to move forward and look at everything you can do.”
She raised her chin and smiled, the gesture shooting heat throughout his entire body. “You’re right. It’s time I really start thinking about all the things I’m capable of instead of dwelling on the one thing I can no longer do.”
With her chin uplifted and a positive light spilling from her eyes, Adam wanted nothing more than to grab her up in his arms, carry her upstairs to his bed and make love to her.
But he hadn’t forgotten how she’d stopped things from advancing on the night he stole a kiss from her. He remembered Nick’s warning about breaking
Melanie’s heart, but he thought it far more likely that she was going to be his first real heartbreak.
Chapter 8
Was she insane? This was the thought that had raced through Melanie’s head for the past couple of days. She hadn’t been under the influence of her pills when the teakettle was misplaced, and her robe and nightgown hadn’t been where they belonged. She hadn’t taken any pain pills when she thought she’d received a strange phone call or on the night that she thought she’d seen somebody lurking in her front yard.
Had that simply been the work of her own madness? The desperate need of an invalid to create some sort of drama in her life?
Was it possible to have a mental snap from reality and not even know it? She stared down at the sketch pad on the kitchen table, but her thoughts were far away from anything she might have drawn.
Hadn’t her mother mentioned at one time that she had a crazy aunt who wound up being institutionalized for hearing voices in her head? Was it possible that there was some mental illness gene inside her that had finally become active?
Was all of this just the beginnings of a total descent into madness? Maybe she should talk to a doctor...to a psychiatrist to see what was going on. Losing the use of her leg had been difficult, but believing she might possibly be losing her mind was horrible.
“You want me to make you something for dinner before I leave?” Tilly asked Melanie, who jumped at the sound of her voice.
“Gosh, Tilly, you scared me. I’d forgotten that you were in the house. And no, thanks. I’ll just make myself a salad or something easy when I get hungry.”
“Where’s that man of yours today? He seems to be here underfoot most days.”
“He’s not my man and he drove into Evanston this afternoon to check out some things at the community college, and then I think he has one of his meetings tonight,” Melanie replied.
Tilly leaned her skinny butt against the cabinets and gave Melanie a coy smile. “You know what the latest gossip is that’s making the rounds?”
“I can’t imagine,” Melanie replied dryly.
“That you and Adam are lovers.”
Despite her dark thoughts earlier about herself, a burst of laughter escaped Melanie. “Yeah, right, nothing like a one-legged woman to turn a man on.”
“Half the men in this one-horse town would find you sexy and beautiful one legged or two,” Tilly replied fervently. “You just spend too much time holed up here all alone. You’re beautiful from the inside out and the fact that you are in a wheelchair doesn’t take any of that away from you. Besides, since Adam moved in here, you have a new sparkle in your eyes. Makes me wonder what’s going on between the two of you when I’m not around.”
Once again Melanie laughed. “Nothing. Absolutely nothing is going on,” she replied. “We’re enjoying a very nice friendship.”
“Friends with benefits?” Tilly asked with another of her coy smiles.
“Tilly! Absolutely not.” Melanie closed her sketchbook and smiled at Tilly.
Tilly grunted in dismay. “Too bad. I always did think that man was hot sin on two long legs.”
“It wasn’t that long ago you thought he was a serial killer chasing you down the stairs,” Melanie reminded Tilly with a giggle.
Tilly’s eyes widened. “Seriously, did you see how he looked with just that little towel wrapped around his waist? My goodness, if that wasn’t a case of eye candy, I don’t know what is.”
For a moment Melanie’s head filled with a vision of Adam hurrying down the stairs, the pale blue towel riding low on his slim hips. She sighed and turned the conversation toward the Hallowee
n festivities the town had planned for the next week. She didn’t want to talk about Adam Benson. She didn’t even want to think about him.
“I heard that all the businesses along Main Street are going to stay open and give out candy in hopes of discouraging the children from going door to door anywhere else,” Tilly informed her.
“That sounds like a good plan.”
Tilly nodded. “It was Sheriff Evans’s idea. That poor man has enough on his head with the two murders unsolved to have to worry about some kid going missing or getting lost going from farmhouse to farmhouse for treats.”
“I’ll need to get some candy. If all of Main Street is going to be open for business to ghosts and goblins, then I’ll probably get some knocks on my door, as well.”
“I’ll pick up a big bag of candy and bring it with me the next time I stop by,” Tilly said.
“No, that’s not necessary. I’ll get some from the store.” Melanie thought about how easy it would be to take the ramp and wheel down the sidewalk to the grocery store a short block away.
The outing would do her good and she had a week to get up her nerve to actually accomplish it. Besides, it was time she got out more. Maybe that was her problem. She’d been cooped up for so long here, she was slowly going out of her mind, imagining bogeymen and phone calls and beating pictures on the wall to death.
The weather was supposed to go through a little warm-up in the next couple of days and she’d just plan a time to get out and buy the candy then.
“Are you sure?” Tilly asked. “I don’t mind picking it up for you.”
Melanie smiled. “I know, Tilly, but I need to start getting out and doing more things for myself.”
Tilly nodded but tears suddenly appeared in her eyes. “I know. I want you to be independent but I just don’t want you to stop needing me.”
Melanie looked at her in surprise. “Tilly, you’re like my second mother. I’ll always need you in my life,” she said softly. “I just don’t need you to do so many things for me.”
Cowboy with a Cause Page 9
