I too had previously entertained the lies coming from the spirits of despair, doubt, unbelief, and self-pity. My heart ached for those who shared their suffering with me. It aches for you, because I know how desperation feels. I don’t want anyone to endure that darkness. You may be thinking those same words right now: “I’m not sure I know what joy is.”
The best way I can describe joy is like a fullness in your heart, like an inner contentment despite outer circumstances. Kay Warren, wife of Rick Warren, the pastor at Saddleback Church in suburban Los Angeles, suggests, “Joy is the settled assurance that God is in control of all the details of my life, the quiet confidence that ultimately everything is going to be all right, and the determined choice to praise God in all things.”3 She describes joy as “a settled conviction about God. It’s a quiet confidence IN God. And joy is a determined choice to give my praise TO God.4
It must be underscored that joy is a gift from God. It’s not something we earn or conjure up. Jesus said, “If you keep my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commands and remain in his love. I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete. My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you” (John 15:10–12). Romans 15:13 also conveys that joy is a gift: “May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.” But while these verses reveal the truth that joy is a gift bestowed on us by God, they also point out that we have a role to play if we want to thrive in that gift.
So what do we do when the enemy has stolen our joy?
Whenever we find that we have come into agreement with anything that is not of God, especially the lies of the enemy, the Bible says we must recover ourselves. Recognizing our need for help is the first step in initiating change. We must recognize that we have cooperated with the enemy, listened to and agreed with his lies, and given in to his temptations. Then we must repent to God and, if necessary, to others. Repenting removes the enemy’s right to interfere with our lives. We must renounce and reject the lies of the enemy and in their place receive God’s love, forgiveness, peace, and joy.
Seek God’s Presence
Perhaps you’ve experienced joy but aren’t experiencing it now and don’t know how to regain its fullness in your heart. When we feel disheartened and desire to take back that which the enemy has stolen from us, our first line of defense must be to intentionally spend time in God’s presence, just as David encouraged: “You make known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand” (Ps. 16:11).
David knew how to tap into a greater measure of joy: “Surely you have granted him unending blessings and made him glad with the joy of your presence” (Ps. 21:6). I love how the Message translation of the Bible recounts David’s agonizing pleas to God because I relate to such desperation and desire for change.
I’m feeling terrible—I couldn’t feel worse!
Get me on my feet again. You promised, remember?
When I told my story, you responded;
train me well in your deep wisdom.
Help me understand these things inside and out
so I can ponder your miracle-wonders.
My sad life’s dilapidated, a falling-down barn;
build me up again by your Word.
Barricade the road that goes Nowhere;
grace me with your clear revelation.
I choose the true road to Somewhere,
I post your road signs at every curve and corner.
I grasp and cling to whatever you tell me;
GOD, don’t let me down!
I’ll run the course you lay out for me
if you’ll just show me how.” (Ps. 119:25–32)
Healing and restoration come when we get so close and personal with Jesus that no one can come between us. In God’s presence there is fullness of life and joy. This suggests that we must do our part first and then God will do that which only he can do. James 4:8 explains that we must draw near to God and then he will draw near to us. If we desire joy, the first move is for us to spend time in God’s presence. But we make the first move.
I was a busy woman, with the weight of my family’s livelihood as well as the livelihood of several staff members on my shoulders. I attended church, prayed, even participated in a women’s Bible study, yet it took a life-threatening illness for me to begin to appreciate the joy that can only come from spending time in God’s presence. During my illness, I drew near and felt so close to him that I didn’t want to do anything but cocoon in his presence. I did not watch television, even my favorite indulgences like Survivor. I didn’t want to play games, even with my family. And I certainly didn’t want to run errands or do chores!
Being in God’s presence may take different forms and be experienced in a variety of ways, individual to each person. Personally, it usually begins by preparing my heart to worship. I do that by making sure I have confessed and asked for forgiveness of any known sin. Then I play quiet instrumental praise and worship music to calm my mind and release the constricting concerns of the day. Somehow, the more tranquil the music is, the more I feel it. I also soften the volume of my own voice. I want to hear what God desires to share with me instead of dragging out, again, my tattered list of worries, concerns, and needs.
When I asked others about their experience of seeking God’s presence, they all noted the importance of getting quiet and waiting to hear or sense what God wants to say. I have one friend who describes the experience as embracing the quiet long enough to realize it’s not quiet at all. God is there with us, and he has things to show and tell us all the time. The longer we pay attention—through stillness, walking, writing, reading the book of nature or the Bible itself—the more we turn aside and pay attention to what God is saying and doing in the most ordinary of moments, the easier we feel his presence and hear his voice.
During my prolonged convalescence, I was at a particularly low point emotionally and unable to do much for myself physically. I could not get up and go to work. I was unable to care for my family. Even showering and dressing took more energy and effort than I could summon. While my physical body longed for relief from the excruciating pain, my emotional state plummeted from the daily toll of the pain and the isolation. The change in my abilities took with it my esteem and my identity.
I spent hours alone, although not really alone. I prayed for what seemed like hours. Where one prayer left off, the next began. It was a time in my life that I despised, yet, unexpectedly, at the same time cherished.
I hated my weakened state and being unable to do all the things I was accustomed to doing. I lamented being dependent on others for help. My self-image as a strong, independent woman seemed to belong to a memory of a former life. During this time, I clung to God with every ounce of my being.
The longer I remained in this condition, the more I appreciated the extended time I had in God’s presence. I valued the opportunity to sit, listen, and learn more intently than I ever had before. I appreciated the stillness and the quiet, for I could hear God’s voice more clearly.
Every Scripture verse seemed to jump off the page as if it was speaking directly to my heart’s cry, as if it had been written just for me. I began to savor each one like a piece of chocolate. I wrote verses on Post-it notes and put the notes up in my room as reminders of God’s warnings, promises, comforts, and admonitions to me. I taped the notes on my bedposts, lamp shades, closet doors, dresser drawers, and even my IV pole. Having the visible reminder of his Word encouraged me. I saw how he had carried others through difficult times in the past. His Word assured me that he could and does still act in such amazing ways today.
David prayed for the ability to continually stay in God’s presence: “One thing I have asked of the LORD, and that I will seek: that I may dwell in the house of the LORD [in His presence] all the days of my life. . . . Do not hide your face from me,
do not turn Your servant away in anger; You who have been my help; do not abandon me nor leave me, O God of my salvation!” (Ps. 27:4, 9 AMP). He knew that in the Father’s presence God would put a new song in his heart (Ps. 40:3). I cannot explain it, but God graciously fashioned a new heart within me during those grueling months of illness. The more time I spent in his presence, the more I wanted to be in his presence. My heart changed. Instead of just looking to him because of my circumstances, I looked to him despite my circumstances.
If you find yourself at a place in your life where you don’t know what to do, seek his presence. Let him hold you and answer your heart’s deepest cry. He made us to do this, and he wants to answer our cries.
Hold On to Hope
In my search to reclaim the joy Jesus promised, God offered several new revelations to me I had never previously understood. Romans 12:12 says, “Rejoice in our confident hope. Be patient in trouble, and keep on praying” (NLT). Rejoice means “to be glad” or “take delight in.” I may not be happy about my situation, but I can still experience joy because I can be glad and have hope in God that my circumstances will change or that I’ll change despite my circumstances.
We all experience trials. The Bible even prepares us to expect them. Some are harder and last longer than others. No one is immune, not even Jesus. Jesus gave us the perfect model for handling whatever difficulties we encounter and offered his peace in their place. John 16:33 says, “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”
I recently went through another challenging season filled with what seemed like a cascade of successive trials. As I sat outside early one quiet morning, I watched the sun play hide-and-seek behind the clouds. It occurred to me that when the sun ducks behind a cloud, we don’t question whether it will come out again. The sun waits. Maybe a moment . . . maybe an hour . . . maybe a day. We know that the doom and gloom of the dark clouds will eventually go away, and the sun will shine again. Similarly, no matter what trials we face, they are temporary. The sun will come out again. God will continue to show his compassion. Lamentations 3:22–23 promises, “The faithful love of the LORD never ends! His mercies never cease. Great is his faithfulness; his mercies begin afresh each morning” (NLT). Sometimes I have to remind myself that I have made it through every difficult situation in my life 100 percent of the time. This gives me hope that I’ll survive my current difficulties too.
David encouraged us to rejoice as a prerequisite for experiencing joy: “But may the righteous be glad and rejoice before God; may they be happy and joyful” (Ps. 68:3). We first make the choice to be glad and rejoice, then we experience happiness and joy. While we may not initially feel happy or joyful, intentionally choosing to rejoice can put us on the path to a new way of thinking and experiencing life.
During my difficult days, I felt overwhelmed by despair. I observed others smiling and laughing, and I grieved the loss of such an experience for myself. On one particular weekend, my husband and I attended a conference not far from our home. It took every ounce of strength and sheer willpower for me to get up, get dressed, and get out the door. As my husband drove, I continued the silent argument in my mind regarding all the reasons it wasn’t worth the effort to attend. Happy and glad thoughts were pretty much absent from my mind-set at that point. Prior to the keynote address, there was a time of praise and worship. During that prelude to the main focus of the conference, I gained insight about this possibility of acting ourselves into a new way of thinking. Without warning or conscious intent, I realized that as I sang I was smiling. Not only was genuine smiling foreign to me during those dark months, but accompanying my smile was also a hint of happiness and joy. In the blink of an eye, I recognized the pleasant emotional experience like the father recognized the return of his prodigal son. I longed for more. I then very consciously willed myself to continue smiling as I sang and was rewarded with satisfying happiness.
Remembering the promise of Romans 8:28, “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose,” I maintain hope that whatever my circumstances the God who created the universe can cause them to work out well in the end. This world offers few guarantees. Hard times will come, and days will sometimes seem dark, but the Bible promises that no one whose hope is in God will ever be put to shame (see Ps. 25:3). “But as for me, I watch in hope for the LORD, I wait for God my Savior; my God will hear me” (Micah 7:7). That is a guarantee I am willing to trust!
Be Patient
Another key to maintaining joy, as indicated in Romans 12:12, is that we be patient despite our circumstances. Admittedly, “patient” is not how I would describe myself. I’ve jokingly told people that I no longer pray for patience for myself or others because God will bring circumstances into our lives to let us practice patience! God is never late, and for that matter, he is rarely early. God is always on time. My friend Sharon Hill says, “We serve an on-time God.”
I must confess that because of my achiever mentality I like to have a plan from start to finish for everything. Yes, everything from getting laundry washed, dried, folded, and put away to figuring out the who, what, when, where, and how of hiring a new employee. Having a plan allows me the illusion of being in control, minimizing my anxiety about a situation. The problem with this is it takes the control out of God’s hands and transfers it back to me—until something doesn’t go as planned and I run back to God, give him control again in desperate prayers, and ask him to fix my current mess. I can picture God shaking his head gently as he thinks, “My dear child, if you had just been patient in your situation and let me handle it in my perfect timing, we wouldn’t have this mess to remedy.” As I practice patience, I remember that the outcome is not dependent on me but on God. He has broad shoulders—he can handle it. Patience in times of adversity is key to experiencing joy.
Don’t Underestimate Prayer
Prayer is another way to combat the enemy’s attempts to steal our joy. Romans 12:12 encourages continual prayer. Ask and keep on asking. Jesus encouraged us to do this very thing when he said, “Until now you have not asked for anything in my name. Ask and you will receive, and your joy will be complete” (John 16:24).
I’ve struggled to engage in sustained prayer. I pray, but I haven’t always been diligent in my prayers—especially for myself. Until I gained a greater appreciation of my identity as a daughter of the Most High God, my prayer life was far from complete. I had faith that God would answer my prayers on behalf of other people. I firmly believed he would answer others’ prayers on my behalf. What I didn’t effectively believe was that God would answer my prayers for my own needs. The enemy cunningly whispered to me, “He knows what you’ve done. Why would he reward the prayers of a sinner like you? If you do more, then maybe he will love you enough to take your requests seriously.” These lies kept me silent and made it hard for me to accept, appreciate, and receive God’s goodness. But God’s Word says his promises are “Yes” and “Amen” (see 2 Cor. 1:20). These promises are as true for us as they were for the people who lived during biblical times. And they are as true for you now as they are for me.
During the days I despaired the most, I could almost hear God imploring, “Go ahead, please ask, keep on asking.” I am doing the same to you. Tell him your heart’s desires. He is a good God. He came to give you an abundant, full, complete life. Ask him how to receive it. He promises you will receive and your joy will be complete.
Learning to pray fervently was not immediate for me. As I’ve shared with you, I prayed three specific requests every day for a very long time. I was in a desperate place. I knew I could not rely on myself or my own knowledge to regain a sure footing on solid ground. I also knew I could not trust my emotions because they whipped me around and left me feeling beaten up. God had to be my anchor. I couldn’t afford to give up on him; he was the only constant factor in my life.
The enemy wants to discourage us. The enemy wants us to feel defeated. That doesn’t mean he gets to make us feel that way! I lived for decades not recognizing the enemy’s destruction and deceit in my life. His voice sounded like my own voice. As long as I listened and accepted his lies as being true, he kept me discouraged. For a long time I felt defeated. I finally landed in an overwhelmingly desperate place where I knew that if I gave in, I would self-destruct, but if I kept seeking God, he would save me.
Until then, I hadn’t truly embraced the reality of my own choice in the matter. The enemy whispered lies into my ears for years, and I believed them:
“You’re always going to feel this way.”
“Depression is in your genes—you don’t stand a chance.”
“You don’t deserve to experience joy.”
“You’re joy-immune.”
Maybe you’ve thought some of those same things. Don’t give in to those thoughts, though they may sound convincing. They aren’t God’s truth!
I had to make the daily choice to believe truth and listen to the Word of God. In the Word, we are encouraged to “pray continually” (1 Thess. 5:17). Hebrews 4:16 urges us to approach God’s throne “boldly” so we might receive grace and help in our time of need. Desperation breeds boldness. I boldly prayed, asking God to show me how he viewed me. Truthfully, I wasn’t sure I was ready for what I might discover. I also boldly asked God not only to show me what joy was but also to give it to me in abundance. I needed God’s grace, and I recognized that if ever I was in a time of need, it was then. I needed to come boldly before God’s throne in prayer. Maybe you do too.
Hope Prevails Page 7
