by Mark Green
“Perhaps. Do you think we’ll finish the adventure together?”
I hesitated over my answer.
“Of course. I’m not a complete arse. I won’t leave you stranded…”
“This isn’t about having a misplaced sense of duty. If we don’t get on, or you have the opportunity to follow other avenues, you should take them. I’m a tough cookie.”
The conversation was taking an unexpected turn and I wasn’t sure how to respond. I decided to take a leaf out of KT2’s book and try a little humour to diffuse things.
“So long as you’re a nut-free cookie, then that’s fine by me.”
That brought a smile. She felt around her plate for her wine glass and raised it up.
“Nut-free guaranteed,” she said, as we clinked glasses.
We walked back to the hotel arm in arm. It felt a bit weird, probably because I should have been here with Kate Thornly the 1st. I found it difficult to settle that night, thinking about the enormity of the travelling that lay ahead. I pondered whether going away without Kate Thornly the 1st was going to pay off.
* *
KT2
I’m wondering if I should say something about where we’re staying in Buenos Aires and the city itself, but I’m afraid the place holds no attraction for me. Not because I can’t see, or the people are unfriendly, but because for me cities are full of risk. Back home I’ve held off having a guide dog for as long as possible. But sooner or later it will happen. I doubt the dog would like cities any better though, too much noise and too many opportunities to get lost.
Palermo, the area our hotel was in, was nice. It felt safe and smelt leafy, despite the pollution — both cars and dogs. It sounded relaxed too, the pace was less hectic than the city centre and shop assistants didn’t pounce and pester, they blended into the background, knowing their customers required rather more delicate treatment. Nearer the city centre however was a very different story. The pace increased dramatically, there was much more of a sense of urgency.
We did try to go uptown, but it wasn’t a great success. I’m starting to suspect that Jonathan hates cities as much as I do, although he won’t admit it. Little things have led me to this conclusion; the tension in his arm as he guided me and his awkwardness amongst the sheer mass of people.
* *
Me
It’s a city, much like any other. But why, having lived and worked in London
for many years, did I suddenly feel so claustrophobic and overwhelmed by Buenos Aires? It wasn’t a threatening place. In fact it had a relaxed, bohemian feel about it, but I couldn’t wait to move on. According to my distorted logic, it couldn’t be me who was stressing, it had to be KT2. So I blamed her for my anxiety. Only real men act like that. Big of me, eh?
I can’t remember how the argument developed, but it was almost certainly started by me, probably getting frustrated at having to escort KT2 through the crowds. After a stressful morning I was desperate to escape the chaos, so I steered us to the steps of a monument and sat down. I wondered how I would cope with the rest of the trip if I was struggling this much in the first week. I leant forwards and rested my head in my hands.
“Jonny?” KT2 said, a trace of apprehension in her voice. I ignored her, not to be nasty, but just because I wanted a few quiet moments thinking space.
“Jonathan?” she said, louder this time. I glanced up, squinting in the sunshine. KT2 was standing above me, reaching out in an awkward way, grabbing at thin air. Perhaps I’d been daydreaming, because it took me a moment or two to register that KT2 didn’t know I’d sat down. She probably thought I’d abandoned her. I know it was mean, perverse even, but I just sat there watching her, intrigued as to what she would do next.
“Are you there Jonathan?”
I watched her drop her hands onto her hips. What scared me about the situation was not how much she relied on me, but how much control I had over her. It wasn’t pleasant watching someone suffer because of my lack of attention. Was this part of the reason I was in this situation in the first place? Did Kate Thornly the 1st despise me enough to go off with someone else because I was too controlling? Now that was a mind-spinning thought. I opened my mouth to put KT2 out of her misery…
“Yeeowww!” I shouted out and doubled up as KT2 removed her foot from my crotch, then slowly lowered herself to squat in front of me.
“There you are Jonny. Did I step on you? Silly me, I must remember to change my contact lenses.”
“I sat down to escape the bloody crowds. I was just about to say something…”
“Something like, see ya later Kate, as you legged it? ”
“No, of course not. I don’t think I’m good with crowds, it’s so chaotic here. I just needed to sit down, take it all in.”
“You’re a Londoner, all this is second nature!”
I sighed, knowing she was right.
“It should be, but I’m struggling at the moment,” I said, reaching out to take her hand, which she pulled away.
“It’s a bit odd to just sit down in the street though, don’t you think?”
“I’m perched on the steps of a monument. I was so wrapped up in my own thoughts that I forgot you couldn’t see me sit down. I’m sorry, I just forgot, okay? Come on, take a seat.”
I reached out again and this time she allowed me to guide her fingers to touch the edge of the step.
We sat there for several minutes in silence, letting the bustle of city life hurry by. I started to feel better watching, away from the crowds, constantly jostling each other for a position on the pavement.
“Do you miss her?”
Now there was a question to make me really think. There was a long pause before I answered.
“It’s strange because I miss the familiarity. If I’m completely honest, I’m struggling with the concept that someone needs me. I relied on Kate too much and got complacent. Now the tables are turned it’s a big learning curve for me to adjust to. Does that make sense?”
KT2
For the first time I started to wonder if it had been such a great idea to come
away on this trip. Actually that’s not strictly true. I’d probably questioned being here most days, but not this seriously. Today had scared me, because I was so reliant on Jonny and that was only going to increase as the trip progressed and we got off the beaten track. He’d talked about the jungle for Christ’s sake! But listening to his explanation, I began to relax slightly. I felt a bit stupid too, accusing him of planning to abandon me, but sometimes I can’t help feeling paranoid. Standing there, calling out his name, I felt vulnerable.
“Is it actually worth your while adjusting? What you’re getting out of this arrangement seems pretty small by comparison,” I said.
“That thought has crossed my mind, but ending up in hospital a couple of weeks ago was a bit of a wake up call. Kate Thornly the 1st probably saved my life a couple of times over the years, so no, yours is not a small contribution. I can’t do this trip without you.”
It was a start, but I wasn’t totally convinced.
“It may never happen. You’ll drag me around with you, begrudgingly for three months when we could both just call it now and probably be happier because of it,” I said.
He considered this for a moment.
“That’s a possibility. It may be I have nothing to worry about, but you’re here as an insurance policy. One I hope I never need to cash in, but I picked you, remember? So I’d better honour my undertaking. I promise I’ll never deliberately leave you anywhere on this trip.”
I have to say I was impressed by his climb-down. It was probably one of the nicest apologies I’ve had. To be honest, I felt for him. Maria and I had misled him. His trip of a lifetime with his long-term girlfriend had vaporised and I was not the rescue package he’d had in mind.
We sat there for a while in silence, but it felt comfortable this time, like we both needed a moment to let the words sink in and breathe… like a good red wine.
* *
Me
After a while watching the world hurry by, I glanced across at KT2, trying to gauge her mood.
“The big adventure starts this afternoon. Together, if you’re up for it?” I said.
She smiled and turned to face me, her eyes off-centre to mine.
“You have to promise to talk to me more when we’re somewhere new, describe what you can see, so I know you’re close by.”
“Okay.”
“And I don’t want you to think of me as a pain in the arse. I can sense it and it’s unsettling. We need each other, remember that. But being blind doesn’t mean life around me has to be boring. We can be friends, we’ll have a laugh. Just try to be more patient with me.”
“Agreed. Perhaps we could both open up a bit more, as we become friends.”
“I’ll wake up the skeletons and spring-clean the wardrobe, but you mustn’t judge me,” she said.
“That works both ways.”
I watched her relax and smile.
“I think we have a deal,” she said, offering her hand, which I squeezed in a gentle handshake.
“So, city boy, are you ready for the adventure of a lifetime?”
Seven
Out of the Smoke
Me
For the first time since we’d arrived in Argentina, I felt my heart pounding and butterflies in my stomach. It was as though the last few days had been a warm-up. Buenos Aires was safe with its large quantity of English speakers, but now the hardcore travelling was really about to begin.
We climbed out of the taxi at the main bus station with no atmosphere between us, only a sense of excitement. I helped KT2 with her pack and paid the taxi driver.
“Let’s go find a bus!” I said, grinning from ear to ear. KT2 offered her elbow and I linked my arm in hers and led her through the entrance.
“It sounds busy. What do you see Jonny?” said KT2, reminding me of my end of the bargain.
“It’s massive, like a huge aircraft hanger with two levels. Upstairs are maybe two hundred ticket booths, each with their own bright colour neon advertising signs. On our level are loads of shops built into the alcoves, stacked with everything from electrical goods to snacks, magazines and vegetables. It’s like an indoor market spilling out onto the concourse. There are loads of people milling about and it’s quite clean but a bit chaotic. Can you hear the TVs? They’re in bars, cafés and ticket booths, all showing Spanish-speaking soap operas. How’s that for now?”
“Perfect. Thank you,” she said as I led her towards the bustling escalator. I guided her on first, talking her through when to lift her feet onto the moving steps.
“Wow, the size of this place is staggering! There are brightly lit ticket counters as far as the eye can see.”
We searched for the bus company that would take us on a twelve hour overnight journey to Carmen de Patagones, but it wasn’t where the sign said it should be. I started to get a bit frustrated at this point because my pack was heavy and I’m not the fittest person in the world - that’s working in an office for you.
“Perhaps the numbering system has changed,” she said.
I sighed, my legs were aching already under the weight of the backpack.
“Okay. We’ll dump the packs. You can stay with them while I scoot around the entire floor…
“I’m quite happy to come with you, I’m enjoying stretching my legs after the taxi ride.”
Damn. This meant I’d have to carry on lugging the pack around. I thought about arguing, but it wasn’t really in the spirit of co-operation we’d agreed on.
“Straight on. We’ll do a complete circuit, but I doubt we’ll find it…”
“Don’t be negative Jonny, it’s always worth a second look.”
And so off we went.
Bollocks. She was right. I stopped opposite the correct bus company, which had a completely different number to the location sign by the entrance.
“Is this it?” she said.
“Yup. Guess you were right.”
The old man behind the counter was friendly and helpful, pointing to his computer screen for the location and type of seats that were available. We ended up with a ‘suite’ which was two fully reclining ‘bed’ seats next to each other, right at the front of the top deck. Despite these being the most expensive seats on the bus, a twelve hour journey was only twenty quid each, a bargain!
As I sorted out paying, I noticed the ticket man glancing over my shoulder at KT2. I turned to follow his eyes, wondering what he was thinking. Had he worked out that KT2 was blind? Or was he just appreciating a pretty girl? I frowned, was I really so wrapped up in myself that I’d forgotten the most basic of male instincts? Justin would have me shot for such treason!
“Stop staring, it’s rude,” she said.
“You can see that?”
“Nope, just fishing. Gotcha!”
I smiled and turned back to the ticket clerk. He raised his eyebrows in KT2’s direction and winked at me - Lucky you. I nodded at him, collected my receipt and steered KT2 away from the counter.
“Do you feel more vulnerable, not being able to see? Around men I mean. You’re an attractive girl and… well, you know.”
“Where did that come from?”
“I just wondered. The ticket man winked at me after looking at you,” I said.
“Was he a looker? Maybe I should check him out…”
She half turned as if to walk back towards the counter.
“Not your type. Do you feel vulnerable?”
KT2 shrugged.
“Occasionally. If I’m being talked at by someone. I can’t see escape routes obviously, so I’d have to talk my way out of a situation. But what I can’t see doesn’t necessarily worry me. The biggest problem I have is recognising the signs. I’ve learned to listen very carefully to voice tone and I rely heavily on instinct. I’m lucky really, it’s better to have lost your sight than to never have had it at all.”
I was pretty quiet then until we got on the bus. It was already becoming obvious that this trip was going to be humbling in many ways. I thought back over some of the many opportunities I’d had in my life and passed up. I found myself feeling slightly ashamed.
“Wow, this is fantastic!” said KT2, sitting in the big comfortable seat. She felt her way around the width until she found a lever which when pulled, dropped the seat right back, fully horizontal. She lay there giggling at the novelty.
“Lift your feet up,” I said, as I raised the bottom of her seat to complete the bed. I guided her boots onto my lap so I could unlace them.
I felt the distant rumble of the engine starting and looked out of the window as we crept out of the huge bus depot, past at least fifty other busses arriving, departing and loading up. I realised how claustrophobic I’d been feeling since we’d arrived, compounded by the sight of a shanty town of corrugated tin roofs that seemed to stretch to the horizon. How lucky we were to have stayed in such an upmarket, affluent part of town. I felt a pang of guilt and I realised how necessary this trip was for me.
I glanced over at KT2, knowing I should relay to her what I could see, but she was snoring lightly. I smiled, then my eyes drifted back to the slum city that backed onto the main railway lines.
It’s probably not that bad, I thought, immediately checking myself — was that ‘London logic’ still? I realised I’d have to work hard to lose that narrow- minded perspective.
We began to leave the corrugated roofs behind. The taller affluent city centre buildings beyond, merged into the smog and gradually the frequency of buildings lessened. Night soon fell and the open road stretched out across an increasingly barren, dusty Patagonia.
I woke KT2 when the elderly male steward brought food. It seemed we were in first class, because three full courses were delivered to us. Cold meats, cheese and crackers to start with, then a hot minced meat pie and a fruit salad to finish — it was fantastic! As soon as dinner had been cleared away, the television screen overhead flickered into life. It tickl
ed me to watch Helen Mirren in The Queen with Spanish subtitles — quite surreal given we were on a bus in Argentina!
KT2 made it past the opening credits, then dropped off again. I eased her seat down and lay a blanket over her. Something was niggling at the back of my mind as I tucked the blanket in, but I couldn’t pin it down. I carried on watching the film, puzzled as to what it was. Of course! My travel partner hadn’t moaned about anything. Kate Thornly the 1st would have found something to complain about. I chuckled. Perhaps there were some advantages to travelling with a blind companion after all.
* *
KT2
I don’t think Jonny was too upset at me for falling asleep. I was knackered and the seat was really comfy. It was definitely the best night’s sleep I’ve had so far and it was on a bus. How mad is that?
I was vaguely aware of a couple of stops in the night, but I quickly drifted off again. The next thing I knew, Jonny was shaking me. We were early arriving in Carmen de Patagones and had about a minute to get our stuff together and get going!
We both stumbled off the bus bleary-eyed with loose shoelaces. Jonny left me on a bench, clutching our day bags, while he went to get the main rucksacks. I shivered in the early morning chill as the bus rumbled away, leaving us at the small bus station, which sounded pretty deserted.
“Are we the only passengers to get off?”
“Yup. Looks like a bit of a ghost town. You okay here for a moment? I’ll go and check out a street map for hostels.”
I nodded, shivering again, wondering where I’d put my fleece.
“Here,” he said, draping the warm fabric across my shoulders, “I grabbed it off the bus.”
I smiled, wondering if he could see me doing so. Sometimes I forget to be more vocal with my own pleasantries.
“I’m smiling my thanks, in case you didn’t see,” I called out, aware of his disappearing footsteps.
“I know,” I heard him call out faintly.
I wondered what sort of place we were in. The air smelt fresh and clean, not like the exhaust fumes and pollution of Buenos Aires. I heard footsteps behind me and turned towards him.
