“Slow down? Is that really an option for us?” he asks incredulously. “Gabriella, we don’t have all the time in the world to fool around. All we have is now.” He takes another hefty gulp and sets down his glass.
I take a sip and nod in agreement. “I know. I know tomorrow isn’t promised for either of us. But I shouldn’t abandon common sense and be blinded by my feelings for you. Why should I trust that you’ll never abandon me? That you really won’t…kill me?”
Before I can blink, he’s beside me, evaporating swirls of grey surrounding him. Dorian grasps my face between his hands, his eyes searching mine intently. “What do I have to do for you to understand that I would never leave you? Would never hurt you? I’ve given you my heart, my life. Shit. What else do you want?” he says just above a whisper.
The desperation in his voice, the earnest look on his face pierces the depths of my resolve. He’s given me everything, yet I still question his devotion. But it’s not him who I doubt. It’s me. I know that I could never be worthy of such a beautiful creature. I’m selfish, irrational, brash, and unstable. I’m everything he’s not. It’s only a matter of time before the other shoe drops and he realizes it for himself.
Dorian lets his fingers wander into my soft tendrils, wrapping a curl around his finger. “Gabriella, you’re all I’ve ever wanted. I don’t care what you decide upon your ascension, I just want you. You are enough,” he whispers, answering my secret anguished concerns.
Gazing into his bright blue eyes, something stirs within me at his sincerity. My chest tightens and a knot forms in my throat, causing warm moisture to sprout at the brim of my eyelids. Shit. I’m going to cry.
“Dorian,” I choke, fighting back the building sobs threatening to erupt at any moment. “I’m no good for you. And I know sooner or later, you’ll figure it out. And it will kill me. It will literally kill me,” I say just as the first hot tears escape.
Dorian crushes me to his chest, his arms squeezing out a barrage of whimpers. “Shhhh, little girl. Don’t you say that. Never say that,” he whispers into my hair over my strained sobs.
He holds me for several minutes, letting me empty my tears onto the front of his shirt. When I finally regain my composure, I look up at him, apology in my eyes. This wasn’t about him and his ability to completely dismantle me with his rejection. It was about me shoving my pathetic insecurities onto him. Whether or not we conquer our relationship full speed ahead or reduce to a snail’s pace, I’ll never feel worthy of him. He sees past all the fighting, cursing, drinking and tough talk. He sees me for what I truly am. A little girl who has never known her place in this world, was never picked first, has never fit in. His little girl, the Light-Dark abomination.
An hour later, we sit cross-legged on the floor, munching on room service, and listening to the soulful sounds of Adele. After Dorian kissed away my tears, we sat in silence, holding each other as if it were our last night together. It made me think of how it must’ve been for Natalia and Alex as they waited for death. How do you begin to prepare for that? How do you say goodbye? How can you?
“There is something I need to tell you,” I say as Dorian refills our glasses.
He gives me a pointed look. “Oh?”
I nod, giving myself a moment to formulate my thoughts. “The fortune teller, the one that was killed. You know she was murdered because of me, right?”
“I do,” he responds without blinking.
“What she told me that night, when she touched me. She said that darkness would consume me, and I’d accept it. That I was the darkness.” An involuntary shiver creeps up my spine as if the soothsayer’s ghost has arrived along with my morbid reflections.
Dorian wipes his delectable mouth with his napkin and nods yet doesn’t respond. So she must’ve been right. I am becoming consumed by darkness.
“Dorian, do you think our relationship is pushing me into the Dark? Are you trying to make me…like you?”
I watch Dorian as he takes a long sip of his wine then sets his glass down on the coffee table. He finally gazes at me with mournful eyes, indicating that my worst fears are reality.
“Little girl, I don’t want you to be like me. I’ve never wanted that for you,” he says softly. “But darkness does consume you. It consumes me too. But it isn’t me; it isn’t my darkness.” Dorian reaches his hand towards me tentatively to brush the line of my jaw. “It’s yours.”
Huh? “What are you talking about? How can I consume you? I am powerless, Dorian. Remember?”
“It’s in you. I feel it every day, beckoning me to antagonize the beast in you. I try to resist. But as I told you before, you are drawn to Dark elements. It arouses you, feeds you. I find myself losing control when we’re together. It’s another reason why I try to stay away.”
I absorb Dorian’s words, trying to piece together a logical explanation. The darkness within me wants to be unleashed, and it’s manifesting in Dorian as a result. There is immense evil within me pushing me into the Dark. Somehow, I’m not surprised. Nothing surprises me anymore. I just have to make the conscious decision to fight even harder to stay in the Light for both our sakes. I have to resist my Dark urges that want to surface and wreak havoc on all those who choose to stand against me, my friends and family included.
Luckily, the song changes and I shift my attention to the melodies emanating from the sleek stereo system nearby, hopelessly trying to salvage the evening and what’s left of my sanity. It’s a song I know and love, and I perk up into a thoughtful smile.
“What?” Dorian quizzes with a sexy raised eyebrow. God, I love it when he does that.
I smile sweetly. “Nothing. Just thinking.”
“About what?” When I answer with a shy grin, Dorian playfully presses me for answers. “Aw, come on. You can tell me.”
“No, it’s…embarrassing,” I say with a blush of scarlet. “You’ll laugh at me.”
Dorian feigns surprise. “Don’t tell me the big bad Dark Light is afraid,” he teases. “Seriously, I want to know what has made you smile, so I can ensure it happens again and again.”
I sigh and channel what’s left of my steely nerves. “Ok. This song. It reminds me of you. Was kinda like my song for you when I first started having real feelings for you. When I admitted to myself that I sorta…loved you. ”
I can’t help but cast my eyes downward in mortification as the beautiful sounds of guitar echo throughout the suite. My cheeks are hot and I get an unwelcome tightness in my chest, indicating the swell of restricted emotion. And as Adele belts out the first notes, I know that I won’t be able to hold the tears much longer.
Every lyric coaxes the unspoken realizations that I find it so hard to verbalize. So many years of being lonely and discounted, no one ever truly seeing me, the person that I really am. The Gabriella I so desperately wanted to be. Yet somehow he broke through the walls and barriers and penetrated my frail, dejected heart. He loves me for all that I am and what I will become, even though it scares us both to death. He accepts the darkest parts of me and doesn’t try to change me, in all my shattered complexity. Meeting him has given this façade of my life new meaning. He’s given me purpose, strength. He’s given me love. Dorian has given me everything and, in turn, is everything to me. Designed by the Divine Power especially for me.
I feel cool fingers brush my cheek before pulling my head up to meet a pair of dazzling azure eyes. Eyes so full of adoration that it causes a poignant gasp to catch in my throat. Dorian smiles tenderly and appears amazed and grateful at my silly, romantic gesture.
“No one’s ever dedicated a song to me. Thank you,” he says before placing a sweet kiss on my lips. He sweeps a loose curl behind my ear, still cradling my face in his hand. “I love you, little girl. So much it astounds me.”
Dorian is on his feet faster than I can see and he pulls me to mine. He ushers me to the bedroom where I find dozens of flickering candles illuminating the room, filling the space with the scent of jasmine. Of course they wer
en’t here before and I gaze up at Dorian and smile brightly. He flashes me a wink in response then turns his smolder upwards, indicating that I should do the same.
Miraculously, the high vaulted ceiling is black as night and glittering with hundreds of twinkling stars. They appear as luminous and radiant as the ones that inhabit the sky and I am completely beguiled. I look back in awe at the gorgeous creature before me. The Dark One I’ve surrendered my heart to. The man who taught me to live and love despite our twin imminent deaths.
“Dorian,” I gasp. “It’s amazing. What is all this about?”
He leads me to the grand four poster bed shrouded in satin, looking at me adoringly. He strokes my cheek gently with the back of his hand and I reflexively turn into his touch.
“Loving you is and will always be my greatest honor. You’ve done the impossible; you’ve opened me, Gabriella. And despite what the future may hold for us, I will carry that with me forever. My heart will always be yours, in life and in death.”
In life and in death.
I absorb Dorian’s amorous proclamation, emotion swelling in my chest. But there is something else in his beautiful words. An edge of remorse, a hint of sadness. I try to squelch the creeping doubt and enjoy this moment despite the subtle double entendre.
Dorian holds up a single finger then makes a whirling motion, the room falling away from us, dissipating before my eyes. Four walls no longer contain us. Plush carpeting is replaced my soft, white sands between our toes. There are no dressers, no bedside tables, not even an inkling of the gold and black room that has housed our intimacy countless times. The sounds of crashing waves flood my ears. The only light besides the twinkling stars is produced by the enormous iridescent moon stationed above us. The scents of water, fresh rain and seduction surround us, and the aromatic memory instantly stirs something within me.
Skiathos.
“Dorian. How?” I gasp, unable to produce any other words to describe my awe.
“I told you I wanted to bring you here. And while I still hope to one day, this illusion will have to do.” He leans forward and kisses me tenderly. “I want to make love to you under the stars. I want to become one with you, create a new memory in the place where I was birthed. I want to bring you home.”
Dorian’s hands roam my bare back, making me painfully aware that I am suddenly naked. He too is nude and it instantly distracts me from my own insecurities. Seeing his luscious body illuminated only by the moonlight is a glorious sight. His olive complexion and those ice blue eyes contrasted by his jet black ruffled locks seem to glow in the most startling, ethereal way. He is so remarkably gorgeous and content here in his element. He pulls me into him, our warm bodies mingling, reacting to the familiar static that occurs every time we touch.
Dorian gently pulls my face up to meet his, and envelops my mouth with his soft lips. His agile tongue strokes mine, tasting and teasing with leisure. There is no rush. He’s taking his time with me, making this intimate act last. This is different. So full of emotion and wonder, as if it’s our first kiss. We want to commit every taste, every sensation to memory.
Dorian’s hands gently caress my back, my backside then moves back up to knot in my tresses. In turn, I knead and massage the defined cuts of his shoulders, in awe of how hard yet soft his body feels against mine. It literally makes me weak in the knees and I buckle and sway. Dorian cradles me lovingly, easing me down onto the warm sand.
He’s hovering over me, his mouth still on mine, still exploring unhurriedly. Dorian’s hands softly fondle every surface of my body as if I am a rare, cherished jewel. His lips break away from my mouth and move to the curve of my jaw, leaving warm, feather-light kisses. He moves down to my neck, gently licking and sucking, causing my body to instinctively bow and quiver at the sensation. His large hands palm the mounds of my breasts, caressing each nipple until they ache, longing to be kissed. He appeases me eagerly and I moan in appraisal, grabbing soft handful of his silky black hair. Dorian then licks a trail to my navel, where he also is delightfully attentive. He then commences to kiss every inch of my torso, careful not to miss a spot. His tongue, his lips, the light grazing of his teeth, it’s all too much to bear, and my sighs and moans add a new element to the harmony of crashing waves.
Soft kisses and caresses travel down through my thighs, to my knees until I feel Dorian’s mouth on my toes, suckling and nibbling gently. Oh God. The feeling is incredible and I gasp in surprise. His teeth graze and nip the soft pads of each digit before his tongue bathes my instep. Then Dorian moves up to my calves, paying special attention to the sensitive space behind my knees. I moan my enjoyment to the moon, shudders overwhelming my body.
“Do you like that, baby?” Dorian finally says, looking up at me. I gaze at him through hooded eyes and bite my bottom lip in response. Dorian smirks before returning his attention to pleasuring my hidden erogenous zones. His tongue travels farther north and he eases his face between my knees, leaving tingling kisses on the insides of my thighs.
“Mmmm, Dorian,” I breathe, panting wildly.
Hearing me say his name instantly excites him and he gently bites down on the sensitive flesh of my thigh then sucks. It feels so good; I moan his name again, and he repeats his assault on the other. Then I feel his fingers massaging my swollen clit, completely overwhelming my senses. I cry out and am startled by the tortured sounds of pleasure escaping my lips. The combination of the tiny nips on my inner thighs and his fingers stirring my throbbing heat begins to unravel me and I feel the beginning quivers of climax building within me.
“That’s right, baby, let go,” Dorian murmurs. Then he places his succulent mouth where his fingers once were and sucks my swell, pushing me over the edge. Violent ripples consume me and I shudder uncontrollably as I release a river of my pleasure. Dorian hungrily laps it up, moaning his own appreciation of my flavor.
Still not entirely in control of my body, Dorian delves deeper into my wet, trembling sex, refusing to end the waves of orgasm that have pulled me under. I grasp the soft granules of sand, furiously trying to regain my faculties but the search is futile. My back bucks and bows off of the ground, knees shaking violently on either side of Dorian’s head. I can’t take any more. Feeling this good is abnormal, clearly ethereal.
“Please, baby. I can’t. I can’t, Dorian,” I pant. What is he doing to me? There’s no way I can come again.
“Yes, you can. And you will.” Dorian nibbles my hypersensitive sex and the action brings me to my brink once more. I cry out, convulsing, pulling handfuls of his black soft hair. He is right as always. I could, and I do. Hard.
Finally showing me an ounce of mercy, Dorian climbs on top of me, holding himself up by his elbows as he watches me fight the tremors of orgasm with tightly closed eyes. Once I’ve salvaged an inkling of self-control, I open my eyes to peer at his beautiful face looking down on me. He’s smirking, partly amused at my display, and satisfied with himself for stripping me of all sensibility. I quickly try to plaster on an impassive guise, mentally scolding myself for being so dramatic.
“Oh please, don’t stop on account of me. I love seeing you like this. So unrestricted and raw. So beautiful.”
Beautiful. I’ll never get tired of hearing him say that to me, especially considering how extraordinarily gorgeous and perfect he is. The fact that he even exists and wants me is a mystery in itself. I don’t reject the smile creeping onto my face and pull his face down to kiss his succulent lips. The kiss instantly deepens, Dorian grabbing a soft handful of the base of my backside and beginning a slow grind. I feel him pulsing against me and though I’ve already come twice, I want to feel him. I need to feel him. This is where he belongs. He lives in me.
I reach down and guide him to my slickness and he gladly eases in slowly, gasping at the warmth and comfort. I take a moment to study his expression, his brows knit together, eyes squinting in sheer ecstasy. It is me who makes him feel this way. Me who makes him bear his teeth as he strokes unhurriedly. He’s co
ncentrating, trying to hold on and enjoy this ride. But as I kiss and nibble his hard shoulders, pull his hair, rake my nails up and down his back, he knows he can’t fight much longer. It feels too good. I want him just as afflicted as he makes me. I want his submission just as much as he wants mine. I squeeze my walls around him, hug his hardness and refuse to let him go. Dorian’s eyes widen and his mouth forms a tight ‘O’. A low, guttural groan vibrates from his chest and I know I’ve got him exactly where I want him.
Dorian slows his already measured pace and looks down at me with love and wonder in his eyes. “Little girl, you wield powerful magic,” he whispers. He uttered those same words to me the first time we were together, the first time he gave me so much mind-numbing pleasure.
“I could say the same about you,” I breathe.
Still thrusting slowly, he runs his agile fingers through my tresses before bringing up a lock of hair and inhaling. “I want you to remember us like this,” he says, looking intently in my eyes. He’s searching them, pleading for understanding. For what, I am not sure. “No matter what, I want you to know that my love for you is real. And I will die loving you. Live in this moment with me, Gabriella. Let it carry us through the storm.”
What is he trying to tell me? Before I can fix my lips to ask, his mouth is on mine, swallowing all feelings of anxiety and doubt. His kiss is so urgent and passionate, it completely consumes all questions and I do just as he wishes. I live in the moment with him. Just me and Dorian, my Dark Prince.
He plunges into me deeper and I sigh against his lips. The rise and fall of his hips, stirring my insides in a sensual rhythm ignites the telltale quivers of my approaching orgasm. How? This has to be an illusion too, right? No, absolutely not. The pleasure that Dorian gives me is undeniably real. His love is real.
Dorian intensifies his strokes signaling that he too is on the cusp of release. He pulls his lips away and gazes down at me with a strained yet contented expression, pushing himself deeper still. His eyes are a burning blue inferno of ardent desire and I can’t bear to look away. He’s even more captivating and beautiful in this raw moment.
The Dark Prince (The Dark Light Series) Page 20
