by W. A. R.
“I was. Before all of this…” he licked his lips, turning from Michael and obviously desperate to change the subject because he knew that they wouldn’t believe him. “…can I please just explain?” he asked Miles. Miles studied him, remembering Amber’s speech, and he glanced at Michael, urging him to remember as well. This was what needed to be done. Michael, seeming to catch this, sighed finally in defeat, and lowered his gaze to the floor. After a beat, Miles nodded his agreement and Lanced sighed. “You asked how I escaped from the house.” Lance said before turning his eyes to the floor in deep thought. After what seemed like ten minutes but was really only maybe one (Miles found it hard to tell in part to the blood roaring in his ears), he glanced back up. “I’m sure he told you that my hands were tied behind my back…and that…”
“And that Amber left the knife in the yard, gun with one bullet…yeah, I told them all of it.” Buddy interrupted hotly, almost angry that Lance was recalling these events. Lance cut his eyes angrily to Buddy before Miles cleared his throat loudly. Amber shifted in her seat a little, her chest weighted down as she stared on at the man in sympathy. Miles never wavered; instead he merely continued to hold his stare, intent on keeping Lance’s focus on himself.
“When she did that, she told me that while those monsters were devouring me to remember the mercy that she didn’t have to give.” Lance spat at Buddy quickly before sighing. “At first I was angry and when she let the zombies in the back gate and they started coming for me, I tried. I struggled to my knees and I ran for where she threw the knife. This entire time I was angry. I was furious and livid and I was focused on revenge…”
“That explanation isn’t really helping your case.” Miles stated and Amber agreed by shaking her head at the man.
Lance closed his eyes in frustration. “I know…I just…let me explain.” He stammered and Amber was taken aback by the intensity of his request. She glanced over and shared a look with Buddy before sharing the same look with Miles. He inhaled deeply and then coughed, and in that moment Amber realized how very cold it was in the room. The cool days and even cooler nights had been rough on him and she felt her heart tear. It was obvious the cold near-winter nights were taking its toll on this unoccupied house. He cleared his throat and began speaking again, his voice hoarser than before. “That was what drove me to reach the knife. Fear and anger. I was terrified because there were just so many of them…everywhere.” He gulped, looking at the floor as if recalling the memories like a video playback. She took note of the sweat clinging to his face and hair, to the dim yellow of his eyes that reminded of her of jaundice. “I ran as fast as my legs would carry me and couldn’t find the knife. In my panic, I ran into the house, forgetting about the fire circling the place. I searched for the kitchen, looking for something to cut the ties off. I found a kitchen knife lying on the floor and I fell to the floor, reaching for it as quick as my bound hands would allow me. I remember breathing so hard that it hurt to inhale, the smoke, the sounds of zombies surrounding me, and the feel of blood as the knife cut through the plastic of the ties and the flesh of my palm.” He paused for a brief moment and then licked his dry, cracked lips once again. He was terrified, that much was obvious; so much so that tears were forming in his eyes.
“Lance?” Miles asked after a moment, tilting his head forward just briefly and Amber perched on the edge of her seat because somewhere deep in her gut she knew where this was going. She swallowed. Tell us! Her mind screamed and she was startled when he snapped his eyes to meet hers with an intensity that frightened her. Her chest heaved with every breath as they continued to stare at one another. “Lance? What happened?” Yeah, Lance. What happened? Her mind asked in a shaky whisper and Lance quickly opened his mouth to speak, jerking his eyes from her and to Miles.
“They started coming into the house…I ran through the front door only to be met by more…I…I circled around back, dodging them…killing some with the knife…I rounded the house and saw the gun…I grabbed it and ran to the fence…I had to climb…I…I…”
Amber’s brow furrowed and quickly she stood. Miles seemed to be on the same wavelength as her and they both advanced the man sitting without question. It was then they noticed the burns on his pants, his shirt; large portions of his clothing gone and the edges there were left were singed beyond repair. “Shit.” Miles muttered under his breathe. “You said it was burning.” Miles stated as they knelt to Lance’s bound feet. Somewhere deep down they knew, without being told, that he had not been checked for injuries. After all, with what he has done, who would want to ensure that the man was healthy and free of pain?
“It was.” Which meant the metal had to be scalding, the fire reaching up. They maneuvered what was left of his burnt pant legs up from the bindings, Lance throwing his head back and hissing in pain the entire time, and Amber gasped at what they revealed, bringing a hand up to quickly cover her mouth. Her misdeeds were taunting her morality and it made her sick. Infected burns covered his calves and more than likely his feet as well. Though the burns on his legs were somewhat bad, the infection worse than the burns, what was worse were the burns on his hands and fingers, Amber realized as she stepped around to see the infected cut on his palm and the red, swollen hands. She swallowed back the bile that rose in her throat as Miles stood. Regardless of what the man had done, right then he needed medical attention. Miles stood and looked to Michael, who immediately left to go get Doc, shamed at not having noticed this before. Amber stood and stepped back around to look at him, taking her place beside Miles, unsure of what to do. They wanted to be angry, really they did, but what would be the point right then. They were an example for these people and they had to do what was right…didn’t they?
“Lance…” Miles began heatedly, angry with the world, and angry about how his morals were constantly called into question. Lance looked at him and shrugged, sighing.
Buddy stepped forward, hands clenched into fists at his sides. “Are you expecting us to feel sorry for you after everything you’ve done?!” he all but yelled at the man, his face flushing red with his anger and frustration. Amber placed a tentative hand on his shoulder, hoping to ground him and when he clenched his jaw she realized that it had worked. Miles kept his eyes riveted to Lance, still uncertain.
“He’s right and I am not expecting sympathy. I deserved everything I got. I know you hate me…so why haven’t you killed me?” Lance suddenly asked and Miles and Amber both stared at him in what could only be defined at surprise and solemnity.
“You may have information that we need…information that could prove useful.” Miles stated firmly before glancing at Amber and sighing at the sight of her looking at Lance with conflicted emotions. “And we don’t kill unnecessarily.”
Lance licked his dry lips, seemingly in pain as his eyes darted from them and to the floor. “I was supposed to be dead, Amber left me for dead, but a higher power decided that this was what was meant to happen.” He stated and Amber saw the sheen of sweat on his brow, the flush of his cheeks… the tell-tale signs of a fever. How had they not noticed this before? Oh right, because they were too angry…hadn’t even wanted to hear his story. “I have done a lot of wrong things in my life, and this is what I get. I served the King of Horror, I was the fear of whatever men were left and I thrived in taking everything I could from them, regardless of the cost. Many people lost their lives because of me and no one can save me now.”
“A few burns and infections are not a punishment.” Buddy scoffed and Amber lifted a brow, as did Miles. They had to agree.
Lance’s shoulders sagged with an invisible weight. “That isn’t all. The punishment is more than the infections, the burns… the punishment was that, and making certain I could never go back to the compound, that I was alone and running, scared and barely surviving for the rest of my short life.”
“Why don’t you finish telling me what happened, huh?” Miles asked in frustration, tired of his incessant riddle-talk. He ran a hand across his face, trying t
o reign in his patience, knowing that he needed it above all else. “Until Doc gets here to check you out, why don’t you finish answering my questions. What happened to you?” Lance seemed to think about this for a moment, as if conflicted and he swallowed continuously, his eyes glazing over with a sheen of tears. Amber furrowed her brow challengingly and through the motion she felt sick. Yeah…I heard you scream, heard the gunshot…you WERE supposed to be dead.
“I…I climbed over…” Pause…long pause. The tension grew taught and it seemed to Miles that Lance was trying to decide what to share next. He felt his shoulders pull back and tense of their own accord until finally Lance decided to speak again. “I…fell down and I ran as fast as I could to the church.” Amber felt as if she had been slapped. She lurched forward, nearly opening her mouth to speak, to ask him what else happened. She knew, knew, he was leaving something out but whenever Buddy shifted his eyes to her she immediately clamped her mouth shut, remembering almost belatedly that she wasn’t supposed to speak unless necessary. “I knew that the church was where they would be going and so I ran there.” And somehow they all knew that he left out the part where he was crying, the parts where he was gasping for breath and fighting whatever monsters came his way in search of the bright light of the fire and the echoing sound of the gunshot as it resounded amongst the trees. “There are days we feel invincible and days in which we realize just how humble we should be and that day…that day was a mixture of both. I was angry…I wanted to kill her…I wanted to take her life like she took mine and so when I heard them discuss their next heading, I decided to follow them there too.”
“You did what!?” Buddy exclaimed, rushing forward and immediately Miles stepped forward to intervene, causing Amber to stumble back in surprise. Lance winced and flinched, ducking into himself as far as he could get while chained. Miles pressed one palm against Buddy’s heaving chest as Buddy tried to look around him, his eyes full of rage, the other hand on his shoulder trying to calm him down. Amber stole a glance at the two of them and she felt uncertainty and fear. Both men were terrifying while they had a deep rage and thirst for death in their eyes. She shuddered before Lance began squeaking out amongst them, his body still tense and curled in a defensive position.
“I wanted revenge…I wanted to kill her, so I watched and I waited until the ideal opportunity. But something kept happening…I kept…feeling. At first…I wanted to launch my attack that first night but…I…I heard her crying and sc…screaming f…for her son…” he stammered and Amber reflexively took a step back, remembering the events all too well. Miles half-turned, keeping one hand on Buddy’s chest and his eyes on Lance. “I couldn’t…I just couldn’t…hearing that…something broke and instantly I felt humbled. I never thought a mother’s heart could make me humble but I was wrong. I knew she was crying over her son, over you and her brother and sister…and it was all my fault. That…that anguish…those heart-wrenching sobs…they made me hesitant and made me hurt. After that…after hearing Damien’s cries...after watching her pass out from exhaustion and pain…something, something kept m…making me stop from proceeding.” He lifted his eyes up to them as they stared at him with a mixture of shock and anger. He was silently pleading with them, and they were surprised to see tears snake their way down his filth-covered face. “Then…she started showing compassion towards Damien…I saw that.” he looked up at Buddy in fear. “I’m sorry…I was angry…I wanted to kill the both of you, all of you…but I couldn’t…and after hearing her plans…after you were all taken and she left…I followed her then too.”
“You knew Michael was a traitor?” Miles asked then, studying the man before him. Lance nodded silently, his tear-filled eyes looking at the floor past Miles’s feet. “Why didn’t you go to Adrian then? Why didn’t you tell him all of this? You would have been credited for dragging in all of us and even traitors in his own ranks?” And it was a legitimate question, one Amber found herself asking. Miles felt a tense shiver skate down his spine and he tensed, lowering his hand from Buddy’s chest, no longer having to hold him back from the restrained human being in the middle of the room.
Lance shook his head. “I…I followed her because I wanted to talk to her…I realized in that time that I was scared. I have never been so terrified in my life and over those first few days I came to see things differently.”
“That isn’t answering my question.” Miles stated but Lance continued on, seemingly not hearing Miles speak.
“I realized that if the positions were switched, Adrian would have killed me instantly. Instead, after everything, after I tried killing her, after the fact that it was my gun that killed her son…after taking apart and destroying her family...she still gave me a chance. She gave me a gamble and because of it I was granted the chance to live…She offered me something after so much pain that Adrian wouldn’t have even considered for the slightest indiscretion.” He paused and brought his gaze up to meet Miles’s. “That’s why I didn’t go to Adrian.”
Miles looked on at the man as Buddy took a step forward. Miles clenched his jaw in frustration and exhaustion. His chest was heaving in anticipation and it hurt to breathe. He felt as if something were going to happen, like his world was going to turn up on end. “Why didn’t you ever present yourself to her?”
He scoffed then as if amused, the chains rattling as he moved. “She was a loose cannon then. She would have slaughtered me and asked questions later.”
“You said she showed compassion towards Damien.”
Lance lost his flare of temper and became serious. “Yeah, after she tortured him. I was supposed to be dead. How do you think she would have reacted?” And he was met with silence. Amber wished she could have argued her case but the truth of the matter was that he was right. She was unstable then, and had been up until just the day before. “Regardless, I didn’t say anything to her. She never even knew I was there watching. And then…I saw her get bit.”
She held her breath and Buddy inhaled sharply. Miles narrowed his eyes at the man. “What is that supposed to mean?”
“I’m sure Michael told you she was bitten. I saw her. She should have become a monster, but she never did. But she waited for it to happen and I understood that she didn’t know she held a cure in her blood all along…she was just as surprised as I was. She didn’t go on as if it had never happened; instead, she waited to change, keeping from Damien until Michael and Rusty showed up. And…and then she died on that bridge…” He looked up at Miles and sighed. “That woman, what started in anger, ended in respect and she had my total respect when she took that fall. I remember telling her that she was just a pawn in this game of chess but I was so very wrong.”
“What does this have to do with you being here?” Buddy asked as footsteps sounded from the stairs below them. Lance cast his eyes to the man and shifted again, wincing as the chains rattled in the echo of the room.
“After her fall, I waited, unsure of what to do. I couldn’t go back to the compound. I knew I was going to die…the infections already taking their toll. And then I heard this yell from the warehouse.” Miles tensed, remembering how he had snapped, how he had yelled at George, how he had broken down. “I came around, saw trucks and waited. Again, heard vague mention of your heading and saw which way you went. I just went from there and ended up in the woods outside here.” He paused, thinking and considering what to say next. “Look, believe it or not, I’ve changed. I came here because I wanted to make it clear before I die that I apologize for the things that I’ve done. Amber taught me that, even if it was indirectly. I am sorry, to the three of you, for everything and anything that I have done. I am sorry to the people in this community that I have wronged and I am sorry to Amber because I never got to thank her for showing me mercy.” With that he leaned back in his seat and closed his eyes, footsteps outside the door now with hurried whispers. “I’m ready for my death.”
Miles furrowed his brow at the man and sighed. Amber gently touched his back and she saw his shoulders s
quare once again. This was so very hard for him, for them all, to forgive this man, to listen to his story and decide whether or not it was worth believing. But Amber…Amber believed him. She wasn’t sure what it was that was telling her to trust this man who she once believed to be an incarnation of the devil himself, but it was there, nagging at her. Images of Larry and Derek were fresh in her mind and she had to close her eyes to erase them. That could have been Miles. It nearly was. “You want us to kill you?” Miles asked and Lance smiled a little, shrugging.
“I’ve done enough damage and if we are honest, you were going to anyways. There isn’t anywhere on this Earth for me after what happened.” He then opened his eyes and leveled his gaze at Miles. “Listen, Preston, the reason I wanted to speak to you is because I wanted you to know that what I did was paying back what I owed her. I’m sick, I ran out of ammo a while back and I am not fit for this world anymore.” Doc and Michael came in then, the door creaking open slowly as Doc took in the sight before him. Lance never wavered and instead only waited patiently for Doc to advance him. “You see, I understood why Amber had to die for you all…it’s just a shame because with her circumstances she very well could have saved the world. That is never enough though, to bring her back.” The sweat on his brow began to glisten in the sinking sun. “I know you are planning on taking on Adrian and if there is one thing I learned about him that you should know…and it is the most important thing about him….is that while he likes to pretend he is invincible, he is far from it. He is emotional behind closed doors, acting rashly when it comes to any mind games…so be careful…but if done right, you should be able to pull it off. You could make him lose his mind if you have the right mental ammunition. You are just as influential and as strong and determined as she ever was.” Lance licked his dry, cracked lips and sighed. “Then again, with everything happening, it’s probably good that she died. Truth is, if Adrian ever knew about her, ever even considered her existence, he would make her hell right here on Earth. He’s a man bent on obsession…he would show her absolutely no mercy. Death would be welcomed. So…be grateful she went the way she did and didn’t attempt this little trip you’re planning on taking.”
