by W. A. R.
“Oh my God…hurry up!” Rusty whined then, completely breaking the mood between them and Amber’s smile dropped as she rolled her eyes. He felt his own mood dip at this interruption.
“He is so impatient. It’s like having another small child.” She chuckled before tossing him just one more apologetic glance. He decided to spare her the cutting of the emotional ties they were encountering in that moment.
“I agree.” He paused and looked at her levelly, catching her attention. Once he had it, he offered her a small grin of assurance. “I’ll get going and you…” he glanced at her bandaged leg before lifting a brow at her. “You take it easy today. Don’t overexert yourself.”
She smiled warmly in response. “I won’t. I promise it isn’t as nearly as bad as it was two weeks ago.” She bit her bottom lip and looked up at him uncertainly. “I’ll be down to see your new ‘do’ shortly.” she suddenly stated with a slightly quivering voice. Was she…nervous? Scared?
He quirked one side of his mouth. Of course, he had expected that, though he wondered how this change in his appearance would affect her. He would still be there for her, to bid her goodnight, just as he did every single day, and to make her mornings easier to wake up to. He didn’t expect any physical advancement…hell, their one time it happened, before everything went to shit, was nothing but passion-filled and spur of the moment. The next time they did that, he wanted to make sure she understood how deep she resonated with him. Besides, he wanted her to be sure about it. No, it was not something that he had thought of as most people would think. Instead, he thought of how it felt to have her next to him, talking and confiding in him. He reveled in her trust and their friendship, the growing and twining of their fates together. He was inexplicably happy with how things were…if, and his heart lurched at the thought, she didn’t continue growing further and further from him. “I thought that was a given.” And with that, after he saw the relief weigh down on her tired shoulders, he turned and began his trek to the stairs.
His steps were quick, hurried, because if he were to wait any longer he might not ever leave and instead escape with her into another room and lock the door. He might would ruin the progress that they had made. He didn’t want to push anything, to force anything. He merely wanted…well, her…all of her. Her wanted her mind and her heart, her intelligence and her compassion. He wanted her kindness and determination. He wanted to see her lose control and he wanted to be the reason for it. He shook his head, trying to clear his head of any thoughts as he moved further from her and just as he turned to go down the stairs, he heard her call his name.
“Miles, wait.” She called out to him and immediately he stopped in his tracks, confusion settling over him. He had assumed she had gone back into the room and furthermore, she sounded desperate, on the verge of tears. Quickly he turned to find her, to answer her. When he did, however, he felt her delicate and yet worn hands grab the back of his head and pull it down. He stiffened in surprise for a moment, his mind questioning how she had moved across the floor so quickly and quietly but as soon as he took in her closed eyes and the sudden crash of her velvet lips on his, his arms immediately wrapped around her and pulled her closer. He lost himself in the moment, molding against her and it felt oh so good. He was reminded with a crashing clarity the taste of her and the feel of her. He knew that none of it would ever get old. All too quickly, just as fast as it had happened and before he could fully grasp what was happening, her lips were leaving his and she was withdrawing herself from his grasp, leaving him dumbfounded and silent. It was gentle, almost that of a promise, and he was frozen by the warmth that filled his chest. She stepped backwards towards the door, a sad smile on her face and tears in her eyes as he let his hands fall to his sides. She had kissed him. He smiled and he knew he must have looked like a dope, standing there grinning and staring after her with half-lidded eyes carrying a gaze of adoration. She exhaled heavily.
“I’ll see you soon…Miles.” She said softly, as if she wanted to say more before placing her hand on the doorknob, opening it and disappearing as she closed it again. After a long moment of staring at the closed door, he finally regained his composure, and with a hitch in his step at the fact that she regretted none of what had transpired between them, he made his way downstairs, feeling more at peace and complete than he had in such a very long time. What met him downstairs, however, was almost the complete opposite of the serenity he found upstairs.
“Thank God you’re here.” Riley caught him at the bottom of the stairs, furrowing his eyebrows at him while glancing upstairs. Miles stopped, stepping back a step as Buddy thundered through, running from Cassie and Michelle, Shelly following behind in a waddle. He widened his eyes in surprise at the sight and the shock of seeing so many frustrated women and a frightened man at one time.
“No! You aren’t touching my hair!” Buddy shouted as he ran past Miles, his face a mask of fear and anger. Miles leaned back in response, as did Riley, both men moving and turning to watch the spectacle.
Cassie followed behind in irritation. “It is for the betterment of humanity!”
“And my hair is precious to me!”
Shelly placed her hand on her hip in irritation, breathing heavily. “I’m going to cut off something more precious if you don’t calm down.” She said threateningly. Buddy met with a wall and turned around, looking at everyone before him. He was trapped. Jacob walked up to Miles and Riley, smiling at the scene. Miles turned and looked at him.
“How long has this been going on?” Miles asked the boy with a smile. Jacob laughed, his tan skin flushed from laughter. The light in his eyes encouraged Miles and he knew that regardless of whether he lost an arm, the bloodied bandage where one of his appendages used to be did not bother him. He was learning to live with it.
“For the past ten minutes.”
Buddy looked at everyone pleadingly. “Please…don’t do this to me.”
“Fine. Don’t go to the compound.” Cassie told him. Michelle stood resolutely with her hands on her hips, staring him down.
His eyes flashed as if he were offended. “Of course I’m going!” he told her and then he glanced at Miles. “Tell her that I’m going!”
“You aren’t going anywhere looking the way you do!” Cassie exclaimed, placing her hands firmly on her hips. She and Buddy narrowed their eyes at one another, neither person backing down from the battle they were throwing at one another. Miles chuckled and stepped down the final step, turning the corner into the living room and advancing his friend. He needed to diffuse this situation before things become more heated than they already were.
“Look, I don’t want to do this anymore than you do. How about we do this together. Deal?” Miles tried negotiating with what he had best to offer. He hoped that Buddy took it. Watching him, Miles realized just how far they had both come. He recalled with a bittersweet feeling how close he and Brian had been, how close he and Buddy now were, and he hoped that soon, Brian would be back. Still, in the meantime, Buddy had transformed into something, someone, magnificent, and Miles appreciated that whole-heartedly.
Buddy looked at him like a child and swallowed thickly, running a hand through his longish blond hair. He looked as if he were about to whimper as he glanced at Michelle. “Can we do that?” he finally asked and she smiled at him in disbelief. Miles stifled a laugh at the sight by quickly bringing a hand to cover the smile that had been slapped across his face.
“Sure. Whatever works. Will you calm down if he loses his hair with you?” she asked then and everyone turned to look at him expectantly. He swallowed thickly, lowering his head in concession.
“Alright…let’s go do this.” He said and with that Miles placed a hand on his shoulder as everyone turned towards the kitchen where the tools needed rested on the kitchen table. Miles led Buddy out and towards the chairs, feeling a little anxious himself with how it was all going to turn out. Amber looked completely different and unrecognizable to anyone who didn’t personally know her fro
m before…would he be the same? He furrowed his brows in his own personal confusion. Was that part of why she was so adamant that she wasn’t the same, that he deserved better because she wasn’t the woman she was before? It didn’t matter, though, not to him. She was Amber McDermott and she always would be. Life always changed people; it had since the very beginning of humanity, and so, if he couldn’t love her through these changes, he didn’t deserve her anyways.
Fifteen minutes later found both Miles and Buddy shirtless with towels wrapped around their broad shoulders. Both men held their respective towels tightly with one hand at the neck, eyes closed. Buddy had his head lowered in a fit of nervousness, while Miles found himself trying to relax as Michelle readied the scissors and whatever else she needed in order to change them into their personas. He would no longer be Miles…he would be Roman, just as Amber had become Amelia. And though they would be express different personas, those personas were still two halves of the same whole. He hoped that their ruse worked well enough to pull one over on Adrian. He sighed at the thought and knew that he had to change the course of his thoughts before they overwhelmed him. Slowly, he opened his eyes and turned over to his friend, lifting a curious brow at him.
“I have to ask, why are you so attached to your hair?” Miles finally voiced, breaking the tension that hung in the air from Buddy’s attitude. Instantly Buddy offered Miles a reaction. He turned and, opening his eyes, gave Miles a sympathetic look.
He sighed and turned back towards the kitchen sink. “It has been one thing I have always taken pride in.”
Miles chuckled lowly as Michelle stepped closer to him, her feet sliding rhythmically against the tile of the floor. Her fingers went to work quickly, combing and pulling. Snip. He heard louder than was possible and he sighed. It had started. “Of all things you could take pride in, it was your hair?” Miles asked and his words earned him a reproachful glance from his counterpart. He grinned. “You’re excellent with knives, why not be proud of that?”
“Any idiot with patience and time can be good with knives. Look at you for example…”
Miles feigned hurt. “Ouch.” Buddy laughed whole-heartedly.
Buddy grinned. “Seriously though…I have always been socially awkward…”
“I’d have never guessed.” Miles countered quickly on a smile. Buddy tossed him a small, friendly smile. Cassie ambled up to Buddy, scissors in hand and sighed. Buddy turned to look at her, frowning.
“Do your worst.” He told her forcefully before turning and looking straight ahead, ridding his face of any emotion. There was still the flinch of pain as the first cut sliced through his hair. He cleared his throat, clearly uncomfortable with the heavy silence that settled between them. “Anyways, I have always been socially awkward, but my hair was always something that people liked…it was an ice-breaker of sorts. I was never sure who I got it from considering I never knew my family, but, whatever.” He lowered his eyes to his hands that twined together in his lap. Miles studied this man, his friend, and sighed. He let his mind wonder, and finally deciding on what needed to be said, he turned back to the sink and let Michelle work her magic.
“Well, then again…you don’t really need that ‘ice-breaker’ anymore do you?” Miles asked, never looking at the man. He could feel Buddy’s eyes on him in curiosity and maybe surprise but he never said anything and Miles didn’t acknowledge him aside from his words. “I mean, really, you have friends now…friends that like you for who you are. Hell, even the women.” He paused and chuckled lowly. “You didn’t notice how Lacy was looking at you yesterday.” He paused again, not missing the widening of Buddy’s eyes and the reddening of his cheeks as he sunk back against the chair, turning his focus away from Miles. Miles laughed once again. “You’ll be alright. You were made for this.”
Buddy nodded briefly before Cassie urged him to hold still. “I think you’re right.” He replied before drifting off into his own thoughts. Miles cleared his throat, deciding to leave Buddy alone to dwell on what had been said. And so, instead, he turned his attention to the women in the room with them.
“Michelle, how have you been?” he asked and he could hear the small smile in her voice.
“Great, considering. It would have been better had Nimrod over there not run from me earlier, which, by the way, I owe you thanks for.” She replied evenly and Miles grinned.
“No problem.” He replied and she moved to the back of his head.
“How is Amber?” She asked and he knew that she was genuinely concerned. Since the community meeting when Michael had bared everything to them, Michelle had been close to Amber, and though she was grieving, Amber was helping her find acceptance, though it was hard. He had seen the toll that it was taking on the two of them, but both women were determined to get through it together. He admired them both for that.
“She’s doing well…tired and a little sore, but well. I’ll let her know you asked about her.” He replied kindly with a wry grin. He then spared a glance at Cassie, who was intensely focused on Buddy’s hair. “Cassie, how are you today? Jacob?”
She grinned warmly at him, reflecting nothing in her features but her mother. “I’m great…nervous about you all leaving, but otherwise good. Jacob is doing good as well. He is still hard-headed but considering everything that has happened, he is very optimistic.” She told him and Miles couldn’t stop the thoughts that cascaded over him. He knew that she was a young woman then, no longer the little girl he remembered, and that Jacob was good to her. He understood Jacob, having been in the same position with Cassie’s mother. Cassie was Jacob’s reasoning and he would do anything to protect her, to care for her, and that thought comforted Miles beyond reason. When they left, he knew that Cassie and Elliot would be just fine. Jacob would ensure that it would stay that way.
“That’s great. He’s a good kid.”
She laughed briefly. “Yes, he is…Dad.” She replied and Miles felt his heart cinch tightly against the emotions that threatened to choke him. Cassie’s cheeks flushed with a nervousness that he could only relate too close too. She knew that he loved her as if she was his own and he knew then that the same could be said of her love for him. Neither of them had been selfish with their affections for one another. They were a family. He gulped, and she averted her eyes from his, and he knew that she was trying to not make a big deal out of it, though he also knew that to the both of them, it was a big deal. And so, he turned from her and pushed back the tears he felt and smiled, trying desperately to pretend it was the most natural thing in the world.
They all drifted into their own thoughts, the women cutting, hair piling up on the floor and on their shoulders, and the men staring straight ahead, their thoughts on what obstacles lay before them. It wasn’t long before the mixing of different bottles and the crackle of plastic gloves filled the silence, signaling that they were done with the haircuts.
“What is this stuff? It smells horrible!” Buddy suddenly exclaimed, jerking Miles from his thoughts. Michelle’s fingers, cold from the liquid in the bottles, touched his head, rubbing against his scalp. He wrinkled his nose in disgust. He couldn’t agree more. He glanced over at Buddy whose shoulders were tensed up as Cassie spread a dark liquid against his blonde hair. It was already taking effect wherever it touched.
“It’s hair-dye. Quit being a big baby.”
Miles tilted his head with a jerk as Michelle pulled his hair. “You mean you women used this stuff all of the time…willingly…before the outbreak?” he asked and the sound of Michelle chuckling reached his ears.
“It isn’t so bad. You get used to it.” She told him and after just another minute or two she pulled her fingers from his hair and pulled the gloves from her hands. Cassie followed soon after. Michelle, stepping over to the counter and grabbing a timer, pushed a button while looking at the two men. “We are going to go upstairs and work on Lacy. You two sit here. We will be back in twenty minutes.”
“And do NOT touch your head. Don’t even move.” Cassie wa
rned with a point of her finger and a glare to go with it. Within seconds, the two women shuffled out and again silence filled the kitchen. Miles sighed, hearing his heart beat in his ears. He wanted to be sure that they were gone and that there was no risk of anyone else coming into the kitchen before he launched into the discussion that he really needed to have.
“Ugh…I’m going to have to shave too.” He glanced at Miles, his eyes forlorn and desperate. “I’m going to forget what I looked like.” He stated and he pouted, appearing so pitiful that Miles couldn’t help but laugh.
“I understand the feeling.” Miles agreed, sagging against the back of the chair. Buddy shifted in his seat beside Miles, catching Miles’s attention. Miles inhaled deeply, certain that it was prime time for Buddy to address what had been on his mind.
His friend looked sideways at him. Here it goes. “Are you nervous?”
He sighed and glanced over his shoulder at the entryway, ensuring that no one was listening before speaking. “Yes.”
Buddy looked at Miles, uncertain and studying him. “I think it’s safe to say that I am too. Even if there are more people we are meeting on our side, it’s nerve-wracking.”
Miles closed his eyes tightly against the sudden anxiety he was feeling. “I know.”
Buddy focused on him, trying to understand what he was thinking or feeling. “But… on the one hand…I think we will be fine. Right?” he asked uncertainly. “I mean…you saw how we were two weeks ago. You saw how strong we are and how well we worked together and…I just know…” Buddy tried to explain. Miles grimaced. Yes, he felt the same way, nervous and the gut wrenching feeling that things would get bad were still overpowered by optimism and a desire to fight. Buddy stared at him again, and Miles moved nervously.
“Look, we will be fine. We actually have a reason to fight, to come out on top in this war. And like you said, we have a few people on our side in there.” He glanced helplessly at Buddy. “I feel the same as you but I can’t stop my heart and mind from warring with one another on this.”
