by Claire Adams
I tiptoed back to my room. Obviously, not telling them would be the hassle-free way to go, unless of course my mother came upstairs to find my room empty.
I doubted she would, though. She’d probably had a couple glasses of wine at this point and would be heading to bed soon. She always made sure to get a good’s night sleep whenever she’d had a few drinks, to ensure that she didn’t look too bad off the next morning.
I grabbed my purse off the top of my dresser, made sure I had my phone, and then left, closing my bedroom door behind me. If my parents were both in the family room, toward the back of the house, I’d have no problem sneaking out the front.
I snuck down the stairs.
“Can I get you anything else before I come back in there?” my father called out. I heard the refrigerator door close.
“No, this is going to be my last glass and then I’m going to bed,” my mother replied.
I waited on the stairs until I heard him walk back to the family room.
I’d never snuck out of my parents’ house before, and even though I wasn’t technically a child, my heart was still racing as I silently made my way across the foyer to the front door. What would I do if my dad had realized he’d forgotten something in the kitchen and went back, then heard the front door opening and popped his head into the foyer and saw me there, leaving? I felt a tingle of anxiety shoot through me, but my hand was on the door knob and I pulled it open. The screen door would squeak if you pushed it too hard, so I gently pressed the handle, pulling the front door closed behind me.
And just like that, I was outside.
*****
Graham was right—there was a brilliant full moon, bathing everything in a milky light. The trees cast shadows across the front lawn. I hadn’t planned on turning my headlights on until I’d turned out of our driveway, but really, it was so bright out, I wouldn’t have needed the headlights at all.
I scurried over to my car and got in. At the end of the driveway, I did turn the headlights on, and I felt a sense of freedom as I pulled out onto our quiet road. I’d never done anything like this as a teenager, and I felt as though I were doing something now that I should’ve been doing then. Why had I been so caught up with being such a stickler for all my parents’ rules? I put all the windows down and hung my left arm out the window. I didn’t speed, though I wanted to, but just the feel of the air whipping my hair around was good enough.
He was waiting in his truck when I got there. I parked behind him and then hopped into the front seat of the truck.
“Success,” I said.
He leaned over the center console and we kissed. A shiver shot down my spine. The few guys that I had kissed before Graham were nothing compared to this. Any insecurity about it that I had previously felt melted away. He brought his hand up and cupped the side of my face, running his thumb along my jawline.
“Mmm,” he said. He settled back into his seat and started the truck. “You ready for this?”
“I think so. Except I have no idea where we’re going.”
He grinned. “It’s gonna be awesome. You’ll love it.”
We started to drive out of town. He turned down several residential roads I’d never been down before, and then took another turn down an unpaved road, driving for a little while before we came to a parking area.
“Where are we?” I asked as we got out.
“Clear Lake,” he said. “Ever been here?”
“No, I haven’t.”
“It’s one of my favorite swimming spots. One of the cleanest lakes in the state, probably; it’s about ninety feet deep at its deepest. But in the summer, it gets really crowded, so I usually stay away until the season’s over. Except on nights like this, because there’s an awesome rope swing.”
“I’ve never done that, either,” I said, feeling a little lame. “I did go to a water park once; there was a huge water slide there,” I added, as though that might somehow redeem me.
“I’d say the rope they’ve got set up here beats any water slide. But you’ll have to try to it out for yourself. We’re going to walk through the woods for a little bit,” he said. “Normally I’d bring a flashlight, but on nights like this, there’s no need to.”
A narrow footpath threaded its way through the woods, and I followed close behind Graham. It felt thrilling and a little wild to be out in the woods at night like this. The air was full of the sound of spring peepers and the moonlight gave everything an ethereal, otherworldly feel.
I heard a sound. “What was that?” I asked, freezing.
Graham stopped too, listening. “People,” he said. “Come on.”
“People?” I repeated skeptically. I felt a surge of nervousness—where had he taken me? What were we doing? But he reached out and took my hand, quelling the nervousness.
“It’s a popular area,” he said. “For good reason.”
We followed the path for a few more minutes before it opened into a clearing; we were on a bluff, it seemed, above the lake. The full moon was reflected perfectly on the water’s black, glassy surface. There were several people there, and they were taking turns swinging into the lake from a long rope attached to a thick branch connected to a tall tree overlooking the lake.
“Wow,” I said, watching as someone grabbed the rope and took a running leap. The rope swung out over the pond, and at the apex, the person let go and dropped into the lake. “You weren’t joking.”
For some reason, when he said rope swing, the image that came to mind was something much smaller, something dinky and cute that little kids would use, something that would gently arc out of the water. This rope swing though, was absolutely nothing like that. I looked up, and the branch the rope was attached to seemed impossibly high, to the point that I wondered how on Earth someone had gotten up there to attach it in the first place. And then, of course, I couldn’t help but wonder if it was secure, and what the chances were that the rope would simply not hold?
But while I stood there wondering that, the rope came swinging back and someone else reached out and snatched it. There were several knots of varying sizes tied in the rope, and the person let out a yell and then took off.
“That looks insane,” I said.
“First time here?” a girl asked me. She looked like she was a few years younger than me.
“Yeah,” I said.
“I was nervous the first time too, but you’ll love it! Well, as long as you’re cool with that weightless feeling in your stomach; you know, it kind of feels like you’re going to throw up but in a good way?”
Graham laughed. “Stellar endorsement.”
“This is the best-kept secret on the Cape!” one of the guys yelled. “And we’ve got a newbie here!” He pointed at me. “Love when I get to be here to witness someone get their cherry popped!”
Everyone laughed and I was glad it was dark so no one could see my furious blushing.
“Let me see that rope,” Graham said. It was clear that Graham had been here before. He knew exactly the right point to leap off the bluff, and timed his release of the rope perfectly. He shot into the water like a spear.
“Fine display,” someone said, and a few people clapped as the rope came swinging back.
I looked down to the lake, waiting for him to break the surface. A few seconds went by and nothing; the ripples that had been created when he dove in were dissipating and the water was almost completely smooth again. My heart started to beat faster. Where was he? Shouldn’t he have resurfaced by now? Why wasn’t anyone else noticing that he hadn’t come up yet? I took a step closer. If I had to take a running leap off this bluff, I probably could propel myself far enough to hit the water, but—
But before I could do anything like that, he resurfaced, almost all the way back to the shore. I breathed a sigh of relief.
“You up?” one of the guys asked. I hesitated. Graham was still in the water, walking up onto the beach.
“I’m going to wait for him,” I said.
“I think she�
��s afraid!” A different girl than the one I’d already talked to stepped forward, grabbing the rope from the guy. “I’ll go.”
I tried not to feel terribly out of place as I waited for Graham to make his way back up here. I watched the girl as she took a few steps back, pulling the rope taut, then ran forward.
“Kristin always fucks it up,” the guy standing closest to me said. “Watch her, but only to know not what to do.”
I watched, and saw how she let go way too early, before the rope had even come close to reaching the apex. She dropped unceremoniously into the water, doing what sounded like a belly flop. By the time someone had hauled the rope back in, Graham was back up on the bluff.
“Okay,” I said, walking over to the rope. “I’ll go.”
Now was as good a time as any, I figured, because Graham was here and that girl Kristin was still in the water, so she wouldn’t see me if I messed up too badly. Not that she had any grounds to say anything.
I felt nervous because I knew they were all watching me. I shouldn’t have said anything about it being my first time.
“You’ll be fine,” Graham said softly.
It was really just a matter of letting go at the right time, knowing when the rope had reached its highest point. How would I know? I wasn’t sure, but standing around thinking about it wasn’t going to help. The rope was thick but smooth and well worn. I gripped it tightly as I took a few running steps, and then there was nothing under my feet. The rope swung out at a huge arc, and it felt as though I’d left my stomach behind on the bluff. I could hear people cheering and whooping behind me. I squeezed my eyes shut, and right as the sensation felt like it was going to overwhelm me, I let go of the rope. I had no clue if the rope was anywhere near close to reach its highest point in the arc, but I didn’t care. There was a weightless feeling for a second, and then I was plummeting, and I let out a shriek, except it sounded less scared and more joyous. I hit the water feet first, shooting down to what felt like an incredible depth.
I waited until I stopped plummeting before swimming for the surface. I opened my eyes, everything dark and blurry around me. I could see the moon above, a shifting, tremulous reflection.
I broke the surface of the water with a gasp, and I could hear them clapping and shouting. Before I started the swim back in, I floated on my back for a minute, looking up at the black sky, the bright moon as white and round as a dinner plate.
“No way that was your first time,” one of the guys said to me when I finally scrambled back up onto the bluff.
“That was awesome!” I said. “That feeling ....”
Graham came over and pulled me into a hug. “Told you it was pretty great, huh?” he said. I tilted my head back a little and looked up at him, knowing that he’d lean down and kiss me. He did, and it felt thrilling not just to be kissing him, but to be doing it here, in front of other people. Someone let out a wolf whistle.
“Get a room!” someone else yelled, followed by hoots and cheers and laughter.
We pulled back, laughing, and they offered me a turn again, wanting to see if I’d be able to replicate the same perfect jump I’d just taken.
There was a part of me that wished we could just stay out here at this rope swing forever.
17.
Graham
The next day at work was slow, so when Chloe texted and asked if I wanted a visit, I told her I would love that. Last night at the rope swing felt something like a dream, though it wasn’t; it had actually happened. Eventually, Chloe and I left and we drove around for a little while, and then I brought her back to the shop. We made out for a few minutes before she got into that little car of hers and drove off.
When had I last enjoyed myself that much? I couldn’t remember. It was nothing extravagant, just some good, simple fun, like in childhood.
She had a big grin on her face when she showed up. “You should be proud of me,” she said. “I successfully managed to sneak back into my house last night without getting caught. Actually, it was past midnight so it was technically this morning.” She smiled, looking pleased with herself.
“Glad you didn’t get into any trouble,” I said. “That’s the last thing that I wanted to have happen. Thanks for coming with me.”
“Any time! I want to go back there. It was awesome.”
“Come here,” I said, walking over to her. “Don’t worry; there’s no one here.”
We started kissing, the length of our bodies pressed against each other. I could feel my dick get hard, straining against my jeans. There was no reason to put this off any longer. I went over and locked the door.
“Follow me,” I said, taking her hand. We went out back, where my office was. There was a desk I rarely sat at, with bank statements and old mail and bags of credit card slips that I was supposed to give to my accountant at the end of the fiscal year. There was also a couch—a vintage, leopard-print chaise lounge that I had picked up at a thrift store because ... well, just because. It was a vintage, leopard-print chaise lounge.
I had barely even pushed the office door shut when she started kissing me. I was a little surprised but very pleased with her forwardness. I kissed her back, pulling her close to me, feeling the length of her body against mine. What kind of crazy shit had I been thinking, saying I wasn’t going to have sex all summer?
“You’re such a good kisser,” she said. “I was lying in bed just thinking about that all last night. I couldn’t get to sleep.”
“Wish I had been there.”
I ran my hands down her sides. I kept my right hand at her hip but slid my left hand underneath her shirt, feeling the taut smoothness of her lower belly. I slowly traced that hand higher, brushing her ribcage lightly, cupping her breast. She let out a groan and pressed her pelvis against me. She was so hot, but I didn’t think she even knew it.
“You have no idea how hot you are, do you?” I asked.
She gave me that sheepish smile again. “No,” she said.
“Well, you are.”
“I think you’re so hot, too. I did that first night we walked in here. And I really do want my first time to be with you,” she said, her breath warm on my ear.
“Wait, what?” I said. I stopped kissing her, certain I hadn’t heard her right. It was as if an old vinyl record had come to a halt with a scratch. I had some vague recollection of Tara making a joke about it the first night they’d come into the shop, but I’d just assumed that’s all it had been ... a joke. Surely she’d been with another guy before.
“It’s fine,” she said, pulling me toward her again. “Just forget that I said anything.”
It would be easy enough to. She pressed her mouth back against mine. Oh, yes, it would be more than easy to just keeping things going the way they were going, and if she’d been anyone else, I probably would have but ... no. Maybe I was a romantic at heart, because I didn’t want her first time to be in the back of a tattoo shop where I’d already fucked plenty of women. This didn’t mean I was going to call up and book us the honeymoon suite at the Cuddle and Bubble, but I actually liked this girl enough to know that she deserved to have her first time be something more than the shop office I barely went into.
She didn’t want to hear anything about it, though. “I don’t care,” she kept saying. “None of that matters. Was your first time in some picture-perfect setting?”
“No.”
“I bet most people’s aren’t. And I am completely okay with that.”
I disentangled myself from her. “Not here,” I said. “At least not your first time. Come on—” I held my hand out to her. “And trust me, I’ll make it worth your while.”
18.
Chloe
I took his hand, wanting to believe that it really was because he was concerned about it being my first time. Still, there was a tiny voice in the back of my head insisting that if he really thought I was so hot and he really liked me as much as he said, we just would’ve done it right then and there in his office.
He w
as insistent that we leave. I felt the passion of the moment begin to ebb. Stop it, I admonished myself. He’s trying to make this special for you.
He put the CLOSED sign up and locked the shop door. I felt a pang of guilt that he was closing the shop for this—what if someone was heading over who wanted a tattoo? I shook my head, trying to clear the thought. What was wrong with me? I was about to lose my virginity. It seemed weird to think about it like that, to have this time right now where I knew it was going to happen, even though it hadn’t happened just yet.
But I wanted it to happen, I did, even if this wasn’t exactly how I might’ve envisioned it. Graham and I weren’t even boyfriend and girlfriend, but I liked him more than I could remember liking anyone, maybe ever. So what if he wasn’t my type? So what if he wasn’t from some rich family? All things my parents would care about, but I didn’t. I realized now, maybe because I genuinely liked him, that none of that other stuff mattered.
We got into his truck and he drove me to his house, which was a cute, winterized cottage with a big maple tree in the front yard. I followed him inside, through the living room, down a short hallway and into his bedroom. It was a medium-sized room with windows on two of the walls. Sunlight spilled through the window to my right, dappling the floor.
“I guess it’s good it’s been so hot lately,” he said. “I haven’t had to use the sheet or the comforter, so it looks like I actually made my bed.”
I laughed, a little too loudly. I was starting to feel nervous, shy about him seeing me naked, uncertain that I’d even know what to do. This was exactly what Tara had been talking about! I was a fool to think that I was doing someone a favor by saving myself—it was really more like a huge disservice, because I was going to be completely clueless as what to do.
Graham came and stood in front of me, a gentle but serious expression on his face. “We don’t have to do this right now if you don’t want to,” he said.
