by Abby Ayles
Antoinette felt reluctant to accept, and yet... she knew she needed to take her time over this matter. She nodded. “It would be my pleasure,” she replied.
“Fantastic. I suppose I must think of something to do. After all, a young lady must be entertained.” He turned to one of the servants who was standing at the window, watching the room. “My coat, if you please,” he said.
He followed the servant out the room, casting a glance at Mr. Perry as he left, but not speaking a word to him. Antoinette wondered whether she ought to follow him to the door, but by the time she had decided it would look too needy, he was gone anyway.
Chapter 14
Antoinette was increasingly shocked by how different these men were from the ones in her romance books. In her romance books the men were always courteous, witty, and deeply romantic. In real life... not so much so. The three closest of her suitors embodied many traits, but definitely not all three, at least not in their totality. Duke Godwin was a highly witty man, but his status left him too blunt to be courteous, and often out of touch with his romantic side. Mr. Perry was incredibly courteous, but she would hardly consider him a master of wit and romance. And Sir Dodge was incredibly romantic... and yet somehow also incredibly bland.
Not that any of that mattered now. Antoinette would be choosing the best man to join her family, not the man she was most able to love. Especially considering that her ideal man was apparently an illusion created to sell books.
The weekend came swiftly, and with no further news of Duke Godwin. Her mother was despairing over the Duke's disappearing act.
“Really, one would think he was in... China,” she said with a grumble.
“He is a very busy man, especially at this time of year,” Antoinette reassured her mother. “I suppose that when one is a Duke one has to attend to many affairs at holiday times. Why, poor Mary is worn out from so much travelling, so many charitable events, so many balls, and so many meetings with people of importance.”
“But a letter, at the very least...” Lady Byrd replied. “Something, anything to let us know you are on his mind. The way he is currently neglecting you... you may as well be nobody.”
“I know you were hoping for a Duke, and I was too,” Antoinette said, “but, like you said, I must keep my options open because these matters are by no means guaranteed.”
“I know what I said, honey, but to be perfectly honest I did not expect this to actually happen. The way he spoke of you and treated you... I assumed he was interested.” She sighed and began pacing up and down by the window.
“I assumed as much also,” Antoinette replied quietly. And she had. All his affections, all his kindness, all his generosity... It had left her thinking he must value her highly. “But perhaps a man of his wealth and status is simply able to treat any young lady so extravagantly?”
“But you are not any young lady,” Lady Byrd replied, “you are my daughter. And I want men to treat you with a minimum level of dignity, of consistency. Not to appear and thrill us all and then vanish into the night like some... character from one of your books.”
Antoinette laughed. “He is not much like the men in my books. They are more... romantic.”
Lady Byrd raised an eyebrow.
Antoinette shrugged. “They say sweet nothings, and do extravagant things. He has the wealth and the heroics, but he's a bit shut up in his own head, I suppose.”
Lady Byrd shook her head. “No wonder you young ladies are so confused and disappointed by marriage. What you wish for is a man who embodies the best qualities of both men and women. And no such man exists. Men are men, women are women, and a man with all the heroism and wit of a man, and all the romance and sensitivity of a woman, is not a man at all.”
Antoinette sighed. “I suppose not.”
“You of all people should know. You and your sister. You have a brother, you have seen what men are like.”
“I suppose I always assumed that brothers and men were... different,” Antoinette replied with a nervous laugh. “That Thomas was not like other men, and that the protagonists of my novels were exactly like other men.”
“Well, at least you are learning now, before marriage,” her mother said. “Now, hurry along or we shall be late for your afternoon with Sir Dodge.”
Sir Dodge proved himself to be as much of a gentleman as she had ever met before. He was making sure to do all he could to impress her... and it was working.
“This is one of the finest champagnes on the market, excellent harvest, wonderful taste,” he explained as he poured her a flute.
Antoinette had her reservations about drinking on an empty stomach, but seeing her mother take a sip she also relaxed and tasted some. After all, she was under no obligation to finish it. She smiled and nodded. It was definitely very good.
“Also, Antoinette, if you do not mind my asking... are you going to the Mayor's Gala tomorrow?” he asked.
Antoinette shook her head. “Well, nobody has invited me, so...”
“I am inviting you,” Sir Dodge replied with a smile, “I even have a dress that would be perfect for you. It may need some alterations, but my personal tailor is experienced in dressmaking as well as suit making, and ought to be able to fit it to you.”
Antoinette found herself blushing. Now this... this was more like what her books portrayed. And yet... he seemed so emotionally flat, so dull and lifeless as he said these things. “I suppose I will need it adjusting overnight?”
He nodded. “Indeed it will. So perhaps your mother and I can converse some more as my tailor takes your measurements?”
Antoinette hesitated. This felt like an elaborate excuse for Sir Dodge to spend time talking privately to her mother. And yet, she knew that if they wanted to speak of her behind her back, they hardly needed an excuse. She dismissed her feelings of discomfort and nodded.
As the tailor measured her and compared the numbers to the size of the dress, she pondered what it was about Sir Dodge that made her feel so uneasy.
She found it peculiar, how he always seemed to say and do the right things, yet always still came across a little wrong. But as she and Lady Byrd were spending the afternoon with him and found nothing obviously wrong, she was forced to conclude that it was simply all in her head. She still did not particularly like him, but he was definitely an excellent prospect in terms of a new addition to her family. And, unlike Duke Godwin, he was present.
Returning to the drawing room, she could hear her mother and Sir Dodge speaking rapidly and quietly. As soon as they heard her entering the room, their heads turned to face her and they smiled. The conversation had ended. Antoinette reminded herself that they would be able to have such private talks whenever they wished to. That, indeed, her parents and Duke Godwin, or her parents and Mr. Perry, or any of her suitors, had spoken of her in private. But to invite her around just to dismiss her so that they could talk... it insulted her slightly.
Still, she smiled and sat down. “I hope I did not miss anything,” she said.
Lady Byrd shook her head. “We were merely discussing how fortunate Sir Dodge is to be coming by such an inheritance.”
Antoinette nodded. “Indeed, my mother says you stand to inherit much land, and possibly a title.”
“Not immediately, of course, but yes,” replied Sir Dodge.
“Anywhere nice?” she asked.
He shook his head. “I know very little of it, actually. It largely belongs to my uncles. All that I know is that I stand to inherit a good amount of land and a Duchy at some point in the future.”
Antoinette nodded. “Of course.”
She had not expected him to be forthcoming about his wealth and status. After all, men were generally wary of sharing such information, in case a woman were to marry or reject them purely based on their net worth. And most of her suitors had been similarly evasive. But, for some reason, Sir Dodge stood out to her. There was something not right in what he was saying, or how he was saying it, and she could not quite put her finger
on it...
Returning home from seeing Sir Dodge, Lady Byrd excused herself upstairs to change into something a little lighter. Antoinette was feeling rather comfortable and instead asked for a cup of tea to refresh her after the coach trip. She was more than a little surprised to find, as she sought somewhere to relax, that Mr. Perry was waiting in the drawing room.
“Oh, pardon, nobody said you were here,” she said. “Shall I call my mother?”
Mr. Perry nodded. “If you wish, though I would hate to trouble her, and it is you I came to see.”
Antoinette knew she should not spend time with single men without a chaperone. But she assumed that, this being Mr. Perry and an open room, there could be no harm in at least sitting down with him. As she walked up to the chair, she paused. “You do recall that I no longer consider you a serious suitor?”
He nodded. “I recall. I am here as a friend.”
Antoinette smiled in relief. “Very well, if that is so...” she moved over to the chair and sat down opposite him. “Why are you here to talk to a young woman and not one of your male friends?”
Mr. Perry shrugged. “I do not keep many friends, men or otherwise. And it was you I wished to talk to today.”
“Of what?” she asked.
“The Town Gala,” he said.
“Oh, Sir Dodge just invited me to it,” Antoinette replied.
“Nice to know one of us will be going,” Mr. Perry laughed a little. “My date just told me that someone else asked her and she is to go with him.”
“How horrid,” Antoinette said. “That's just... she must have no manners at all.”
“Apparently not, though I cannot help but wonder if there is something wrong with myself.” Mr. Perry sighed. “This is the sort of reaction I inspire in most, if not all, young women.”
Antoinette shrugged. “I suppose some women cannot look past status and wealth...”
“Did you not say that women will marry for love, though?” he asked in a slightly mocking tone.
“But not every woman.”
“Indeed, not most women,” Mr. Perry replied. “That, or I am not particularly loveable.”
“Only time can truly tell,” Antoinette replied. “At any rate, I hope you shall still attend the Gala.”
“Without a date?” Mr. Perry asked. “It would look very awkward.”
“But you must! You cannot change your plans and your life based on where other people happen to be. You still attended Duke Godwin's ball, did you not?” she insisted.
“True, true... I shall consider it,” he replied. “Especially if you shall be there. At least I know I shall have good conversation.”
“Exactly,” Antoinette said.
A cough sounded in the doorway. Antoinette looked up and Mr. Perry turned around to see Lady Byrd standing there. “Good evening, Mr. Perry,” she said.
“Good evening Lady Byrd... I was just leaving,” he replied, clearly sensing her mood.
Antoinette was sensing it too. She smiled and shrugged a little. What else could she do?
Once Mr. Perry had left, Lady Byrd sat down beside her daughter. Antoinette shuffled a little in her seat. She knew she should have had an escort. But, at the same time, she also hoped that her mother would not overreact to the situation. After all, it was no serious matter.
Antoinette's mother shook her head. “Really, you ought to be more careful. What if Duke Godwin had seen you? Or any of your more serious suitors, for that matter.”
Antoinette laughed a little. “Really mother, it is only Mr. Perry.”
“He is still a man, and a man is what anyone would have seen. A man and you, talking together, alone.”
“You were talking along with Sir Dodge earlier,” Antoinette replied.
“That is different. I am a married woman, he is a young man, and there were servants present. Nothing could be assumed to have happened. On the other hand, you and Mr. Perry are both young, and were completely alone. What proof could you ever have that your conversation was purely innocent?” she explained.
“But a lack of proof does not mean there is evidence,” Antoinette insisted.
“No, I shall not have you talking back to me. Just show some respect, please,” Lady Byrd said. “Now, let us not talk about this matter again. We do not want anyone else knowing you were entertaining a man on your own. It shall remain between us.”
Antoinette nodded. “Of course.”
“Now... there is a little matter we need to address... You have received a letter,” Lady Byrd began.
Antoinette felt her blood run cold. The letter under her pillow. Had her mother, or a maid, found it? Had her mother read it? She began trying to prepare an apology speech, something about forgetting it, or meaning to tell everyone...
“Yes,” her mother continued, “Lucy sent you another letter and I took the liberty to open it.”
Antoinette breathed a sigh of relief, at which her mother cast her a suspecting glance. Antoinette smiled back and shrugged a little. Her mother still eyed her suspiciously, but clearly could not find anything to criticise her on.
“Well, if you will let me finish without making any further noises... Lucy said she will be returning tomorrow, in time for the Town Gala. She has a date and intends to go, and says she would love to see you there.”
News of Lucy's return made Antoinette's heart leap with joy. As children the two had been as close as siblings. Even closer in fact, considering that Antoinette and her siblings had age and personality differences which had often put them at odds with one another. She and Lucy, on the other hand, had very much in common.
She had been very sad to see Lucy go to boarding school, and had never fully understood the reasons why. But now that Lucy was returning for good, she had even more reason to go to the Town Gala.
Of course, this would mean juggling Sir Dodge, Mr. Perry, and Lucy all at once during the Gala. But Antoinette felt confident she would not let any of them down.
Chapter 15
Seeing Sir Dodge once again was much more relaxed than their first two encounters had been. She knew that they would have to return to the usual social norms as soon as they were at the Gala. But for now it was simply refreshing to see him acting more casually, more genuinely. He was definitely not as romantic as he had originally been behaving. But he was still rather charming. And still a little bland.
Both were dressed and ready long before the doors would open for the Gala, so Antoinette, Sir Dodge, her parents, and a friend of his, were staying at his house, sipping wines and talking until it was time to make their entrance.
“You do look truly lovely in that dress,” Sir Dodge said, looking her up and down. “Don't you agree?”
“You made a wonderful choice,” Antoinette replied, knowing better than to compliment her own beauty.
“Nonsense, any choice would suit you. You would look beautiful in a burlap sack.” Sir Dodge insisted.
“You are too kind,” she replied.
She could not understand why this did not work. He was doing all the things she wanted, saying all the things she read in her romance books, and yet none of it worked. It all came across as trite and meaningless. And Sir Dodge, consequentially, came across as dull and insincere. And his friend was not much better.
Sir Buxton was a very quiet, nervous-looking man. Although her parents had addressed him a couple of times, he simply answered in single words or hums, and did not seem at all comfortable with the situation. It reminded Antoinette very much of Sir Dodge's behaviour when Mr. Perry was visiting, and the whole connection left her once again wondering whether there could possibly be anything the matter with Sir Dodge.
She was relieved when they were able to make it to the Gala, and even more relieved when, as soon as she walked in through the door, she laid eyes upon Lucy.
Her best friend had grown up, but was still quite obviously Lucy Fitzroy. Her thick brown curls were now down past her shoulders, her slim and boyish frame had filled out a little, and her
freckled face was much finer and older.
Antoinette felt her worries about Sir Dodge melting away as they were replaced with excitement that she could spend the evening catching up with her friend. Seizing Sir Dodge's hand, she guided him over to where Lucy, her parents, and presumably her first suitor, were talking.
“Antoinette!” Lucy exclaimed, her eyes lighting up. She walked to Antoinette as though contemplating leaping on her and hugging her, as they used to do when they were little. But then she stopped.
Antoinette was pretty sure they were both feeling the same thing, that slight resentment towards adulthood. There were so many things they used to do which they could not anymore. And so many things they used to believe which they could not anymore. Antoinette put one arm around Lucy as politely as she could. “I've missed you,” she said.
“And I missed you. Is this Duke Godwin?” Lucy asked.
Antoinette blushed and shook her head. “No, no, this is Sir Dodge.” Glancing back at him she could see that the damage was already done. He was already insulted. But what could she do? Was she supposed to just not see anyone else?
She tried to make eye contact with him, to reassure him he was a strong candidate and that she was happy to be seen with him. But he forced out an awkward smile, avoided her gaze, and wandered off, mumbling something about finding a drink.
“He seems odd,” Lucy said. “Or perhaps I have just been around girls for too long?”
Antoinette shook her head. “Well, maybe... but men are odd. Pardon,” she said, making eye contact with Lucy's date.
“No offense taken,” he replied, “I suppose the sexes cannot and should not truly understand one another. I am Isaac Jarvis.”
From the look on Lucy's face Antoinette could tell that the disillusion, for her friend, had not quite begun yet. She glanced over as though to suggest “Isn't he dreamy?” Antoinette, on the other hand, felt utterly corrupted by her own experiences and her time with her sister. She looked at Isaac Jarvis and saw a man not old enough to have much fortune, but not young enough to be excused, a man who was probably more interested in the Fitzroys' money than in Lucy herself.
