"I did, but you didn't answer."
He checks his phone. "I turned it off at the movie."
"You two went to a movie?" she asks. "Was this a date?"
"No," I say with a nervous laugh as I get down off the counter. "Corbin was just getting me out of the apartment."
"How long will this take?" Corbin asks Lauren.
She shrugs and walks past him. "If I do it all tonight it could take hours." She turns back to him, glancing at me. "Or if you two would like some time alone, I could get what I need and come back later."
"Just get what you need and go," he says. "And next time you need to check with me before you come over."
She walks off.
"Oh, and I need your access card for the building," he says but she's already in his room and probably didn't hear him.
"I'm going to bed," I say to Corbin.
"Star." He walks up to me and lowers his voice. "About what happened."
"Forget it." I laugh. "It was all that romance in the movie. Guess it just got to me." I go around him. "Goodnight." I hurry to my room and shut the door, still out of breath from what happened before Lauren walked in.
Holy shit, that was intense. That kiss. The way he touched me. The way my body reacted. It only made me want him more.
I can't live here. It's too tempting. I'm too attracted to him and falling for him way too hard. And now his ex knows. She looked like she was going to kill me.
Haley was right. I've got enough going on. I don't need all this drama. I need to move out.
Chapter Fifteen
Corbin
It's Saturday morning and I'm taking Star to look at apartments. This is the first time I've seen her since last night. We usually have breakfast together but today she stayed in her room. I think she was avoiding me because of that kiss. Because she's not sure what to do now or where we stand. I'm not sure either. I didn't expect her to kiss me last night but after she did, I couldn't stop thinking about it. And now, being around her, all I can think about is how much I want to do it again.
That kiss. Damn. It sparked a fire that's been burning ever since. I've never felt that much passion. That much desire. I tried to control myself, limiting it to just a kiss, but my hands just had to touch her. I've felt her body many times while assessing her injuries but this was different. This time I let myself feel my attraction to her. I let my hands go places I've only allowed them to go in my dreams.
Neither one of us wanted it to end. Our desire for each other was finally being quenched and there was no way we could stop it. But then Lauren walked in, and just like that, it was over.
Now it's like we're pretending it didn't happen. I want to talk about it but I don't think Star does, so for now I'm going to leave it alone and see what happens.
"How was that event the other night?" she asks as we drive through the narrow streets trying to find the building for the apartment she's considering.
"It was fine," I say.
Thursday night I had to attend a charity event for the hospital. It was so boring I'd already forgotten about it.
"Did you have fun?"
"I don't know if I'd call it fun. It was the typical charity event. You go there to meet people and make connections, not to enjoy yourself. I really don't have a need to go out there and sell myself anymore. I'm done with med school. I have a job. There's no reason for me to spend my night networking so I hung out by the bar and talked to the bartender." I chuckle. "He had a lot of good stories."
"Was Lauren there?"
"No, she had to work. But a lot of her friends were there. They didn't speak to me, which I knew they wouldn't. There was a ceremony after the dinner so I had to sit through that."
"Sounds really boring."
"It was. Thank God for the bartender. He was the only entertaining person there."
"Did your parents go?"
"Yes. I avoided them. They're not too pleased with me right now."
"Because of me?"
I glance at her. "Why would you think that? They don't even know you."
"Your dad met me and I could tell he didn't like me."
"That has nothing to do with you. It's more about his need to control me. He wanted me to be with Lauren, even if I wasn't happy with her."
Star's quiet, then says, "I heard him that night he came over. I tried not to listen in but he was yelling and, well, I heard what he said."
I sigh. "I'm sorry. I really am. He shouldn't have said what he did but if you knew him, you'd understand. It's just the way he is. He always assumes the worst."
"You know I'd never do that, right? Go after your money?"
"I know you wouldn't." I smile at her but she's looking down, her face full of worry. I reach over and put my hand around hers. "Star, relax. I don't think that about you. I know you're not trying to go after my family's money. You get mad when I try to buy you dinner."
She cracks a smile. "I don't get mad. I just feel bad making you pay."
"Don't. I'm happy to take you to dinner. Or to a movie. I like doing things with you. I'm going to miss you when you move out."
She nods, seeming uncomfortable. I wish she'd just tell me how she feels. If she thinks our kiss last night was a mistake I want her to tell me. I don't think it was a mistake at all. She doesn't fit the mold of someone I'd normally date but I don't care about that anymore. I'm doing what I want now, not what everyone else expects me to do.
"I think that's the one." She points to a brown brick building. "I'll text her and let her know we're here."
We go inside the building and I'm immediately hit with the smell of mold. I look up and notice water spots on the ceiling. Star notices them too.
"Maybe it's just on this floor," she says.
"Doesn't matter. You'd still have to walk through here everyday to get to your place. Do you know how bad mold is for your health?"
"To you, everything is a health hazard," she says in a kidding tone, but it's not a joke. Mold really is a health hazard.
There's no elevator so we take the stairs to the third floor. Star knocks on the door and an old lady answers. She's very large and wearing a pink robe and slippers.
"You must be Star," she says, holding her hand out.
"Um, yeah. Is Judy here?"
"I'm Judy. We spoke on the phone."
That's Judy? Star made it sound like the person we were meeting was much younger, like in her twenties. This lady has got to be at least sixty.
"Come on in." She steps back, pushing something aside with her foot so she can open the door.
That's when I notice the floor is covered, completely covered, in stacks of newspapers, craft supplies, stuffed animals, dishes, and just about anything else you could imagine. Whatever furniture is in there is covered up with piles of clothes, old books, magazines, shopping sacks, and plastic bins overflowing with more stuff. The place is straight out of one of those hoarder shows you see on TV. And the smell...it's a mix of rotting food and a sweaty locker room.
"Are you the boyfriend?" Judy asks me.
"No," I say as I continue to scan the room. I've never seen anything like this. And someone else lives here too?
"Linda will be out shortly," Judy says to Star. "She's in the bathroom. Would you like to see your room? Or we could go see the kitchen."
Star looks just as horrified as I am. "Actually, now that I think about it, I think this place is too far from my job, but thanks for showing us. Sorry to take up your time."
"Oh, it's no trouble at all. If you change your mind, just let us know."
"I will. Bye!"
We hurry out of there, racing down the stairs. When we're out of the building I reach in my pocket and take out my hand sanitizer.
"Hands." I hold the sanitizer out and when Star places her palms out I cover them in sanitizer.
"I don't need that much," she says, trying to rub it in.
"Did you see that place? We need the whole bottle. I feel like I need a shower now."
&
nbsp; "It was pretty bad. I don't know how she lives like that. There wasn't even anywhere to sit. And what was that smell?"
"I don't know. I was trying not to breathe. Let's check out the next place. It's gotta be better than the last one."
The next apartment is in a building that looks fairly new but it's in a bad neighborhood.
"You really want to live here?" I ask as we watch a cop arrest a guy across the street.
"You don't know what he's being arrested for. Maybe he just shoplifted."
"Or murdered someone."
She shoves me. "What the hell? Why are you trying to scare me?"
"Because you shouldn't be living here. It's not safe."
"The safe neighborhoods cost too much. I'll buy some pepper spray and learn self defense."
I just shake my head. I know this is her decision but I don't want her living here. If she does, I'll be worrying about her constantly, which just shows how much I've fallen for her. I didn't try to. I wasn't even aware it was happening. But it has, and now I care about her way too much to let her live in a dangerous neighborhood.
We go in the building. It's nothing great but at least it's clean and has an elevator. We take it to the fourth floor and Star finds the apartment and knocks on the door.
"Come in," a guy says.
She opens the door to a mostly empty apartment, the complete opposite of the last place. There's almost nothing there—just a couch and a TV. A shirtless guy around my age is sprawled out on the couch smoking a joint.
I grab hold of Star's arm. "Let's go."
She turns to me and whispers, "Maybe he has a health condition. Maybe it's medicinal." Turning back to the guy, she says, "Are you Ty?"
"Yeah." He sighs and pushes himself up to standing. "This is the living room. Kitchen's over there." He motions to it. "Bedroom's down the hall. You can go take a look."
"I don't think we need to," I say.
Star looks at me, annoyed. "I'm going to at least check it out."
Ty collapses back on the couch while Star and I go down the hall. The first bedroom has the door open and we see a guy passed out on his bed. That must be the other roommate. He's only wearing boxers. Nothing else.
There's no way she's living here.
"The place reeks of pot," I say quietly to Star. "I'm getting high just being in here."
She opens the door of the last bedroom. It's empty except for a dingy stained mattress on the floor.
"It has two windows," she says in a cheery tone.
"Which you'll need to use to escape when the cops come raid the place."
"Pot's legal here. They're not getting arrested."
"You really think pot's the only thing they do?"
She glances around the room. "It's not bad. If I get a new mattress and maybe a lamp, it could be okay."
She's trying to be positive, a trait I admire about her, but there's nothing positive about this place. She needs to see it for what it is; a hangout for drug addicts and their drugged-out friends.
"This place is a shithole and I don't trust either one of those guys. You could wake up one night and find them on top of you."
"You're being very negative," she says, her hands on her hips. "It's almost like you don't want me to find a place."
"I do, but I want you to find a decent place in a decent neighborhood."
"Decent places in decent neighborhoods cost way more than I can afford, even with roommates."
"We've only looked at two apartments. Let's do more searching tonight and maybe tomorrow we can check out some more places."
"What do you think?" Ty asks as we're leaving.
"It's not really what I'm looking for," Star says, "but thanks for showing us."
Ty yawns and curls into a ball on the sofa, his eyes closed.
We let ourselves out and return to my SUV.
"Now what?" Star asks.
I smile. "Want to look at dogs?"
"Yes! I forgot we were doing that. Actually, I didn't think you were serious. Do you really want to get a dog?"
"I've wanted to for years. I just couldn't because I was never home and Lauren forbid it."
"What if you guys get back together?"
"Not going to happen. The idea hasn't even crossed my mind. I've moved on. Lauren is history. We're never getting back together."
"Never say never."
Is that why Star won't tell me how she feels about me? Is that why she made light of our kiss? Because she thinks I'll get back with Lauren?
I wait until we're at the animal shelter, then shut off the car and turn to her.
"Star, I just need to say this."
"What?"
"It's over with Lauren and me. The accident changed me. I almost killed you because I was driving without even thinking. Without looking where I was going. It made me think of my life and how I was just going through the motions. Letting Lauren and my parents take the lead and not really caring where I ended up. I don't know how I got to that point but I finally woke up when I was with you in the hospital."
She takes her seatbelt off and turns to face me. "What do you mean?"
"When Lauren found out I was staying with you at the hospital, waiting for you to wake up, she was furious. She said I shouldn't be there. That I was getting too involved. And in the past, when we were dating, I would've agreed with her just to avoid arguing with her. But that's not me. That's not who I am. I'm the guy who stays. The guy who does the right thing. I had to take responsibility for what I'd done and part of doing that was staying with you. You were all alone and I knew you'd be scared and confused when you woke up so there was no way I was just going to leave you."
"Did you and Lauren fight about it?"
He huffs. "Big time. I'd broken up with her that morning but she was still trying to tell me what to do. She even called my father and tried to get him to convince me to leave your room and go back to work. But I wouldn't do it."
"So you fought with your dad too?"
"Yes, which when you think about it makes no sense."
"In what way?"
"In the sense that we're all doctors. My father, Lauren, me. We all swore to take the best possible care of our patients. We work to help people. And here I am trying to help a woman who I, myself, injured, and my father and Lauren are yelling at me for being by your side."
"They don't want me staying with you, do they?"
"It doesn't matter. I don't care what they think. I'm done doing what everyone tells me to."
"I didn't realize I was causing so many problems. If I'd known I would've—"
"It's not you. You didn't do anything wrong. It's the other people in my life. The people who don't accept my choices. But that needs to end. I'm done letting other people control my life, especially Lauren."
"Does a part of you still love her?" Star looks down. "Sorry, that's too personal. I shouldn't have asked."
"I don't love her. Not even a little. And when I did love her, it was more because of our history. All the time we spent together. The memories we share. But it wasn't the kind of love I'd need to feel in order to marry her. I know that now more than ever. When you finally meet someone you—" I stop before I say too much. It was Star that made me realize my love for Lauren wasn't the right kind of love. But I can't tell her that. I'm still trying to figure out my feelings for Star and understand why I feel more for her after just a short time than I felt for Lauren after years of being together.
"That you what?" Star asks.
"That you click with. That you feel something for. That you..." I stop and clear my throat. "What I'm trying to say is that sometimes you don't realize what you're missing until you finally experience it. And then it's like a light goes off and you no longer want to continue on the path you were on. When you know there's something better, you want to go out and get it."
There. I said it. But I kept it general. I didn't say I was talking about her.
"Anyway," I say, wanting to get off this topic. "Ready to go
check out the dogs?"
We go in the animal shelter and a girl leads us back to the kennels where the dogs are kept.
"Corbin, look at the puppy!" Star squeals, running up to one of the kennels. The dog is full of energy, jumping around his crate.
"Yellow lab?" I ask the girl.
"Yeah. Came in the other day. This is the first day he's up for adoption. He's a cutie. He'll go fast."
"Can we see him?" Star asks.
The girl goes to get him.
"I don't think I can handle a puppy," I say to Star. "I was thinking of getting an older dog."
"We can at least look at him."
The girl hands him to Star and he licks her face.
I smile at her. "He likes you."
"He's so cute. I want him. I wish I could get a dog."
"His is pretty cute." I take him from her. He licks my face, his tail wagging. "What's his name?" I ask the girl.
"Lucky."
"Then he'd be perfect for me," Star says to the girl. "I have bad luck. Like the worst ever. I could use a dog named Lucky."
"Maybe you should take him home."
"I would but I don't have a home. That's part of my bad luck."
I look at Star. "Maybe it's time for your luck to change. I say we get him."
The 'we' came out before I could catch myself. I guess that's how I think of us. As a couple, even though we're not.
"But you said you didn't want a puppy," she says.
"No, but if I remember right, you agreed to dog sit while I was at work. You can teach him all he needs to know."
"Except I won't be living there much longer."
"Then I'll hire you to come over and dog sit. You need money and I need a dog sitter. Works out great."
"You sure about this?"
Lucky licks my face again, his tail wagging even more, like he already knows he has a home.
"Lucky's the one. I can feel it. He speaks to me."
As if on cue, Lucky barks.
Star laughs. "I guess he does."
"Can you put him on hold for me?" I ask the girl.
"I can't, but we're open until six if you want to come back later." She hands me a sheet of paper. "This is our tip sheet for new dog owners. Tells you what you'll need if you decide to adopt him. Or do you already have a dog?"
Lucky Star Page 14
