"We should go," Star whispers, taking my hand and pulling me to the door. "Bye, Hannah," she calls out.
Hannah doesn't answer.
"You weren't kidding when you said she's quiet," I say as we're leaving.
"I know, right? She's barely talked to me since I moved in. She just sits in her room and studies all day."
"And no TV? Everyone has a TV."
"I know. It's driving me crazy not having a TV."
"Take ours. We'll go get it tonight and bring it over."
"Then you won't have one to watch."
"I have three. I'll watch the one in our room."
"Maybe I could take the one in the guest room."
We're at my car and I open the door and let her in, then get in on the other side.
"Star, I know you wanted to do this for a month but I think a week is enough. I miss you like crazy. Would you consider moving back?"
"Not yet. We need more time. It's only been a few days."
"Yes, but in those few days I've done a lot of thinking. I don't need more time. Just move back. We'll keep working on this but we'll do it together."
"Let me think about it, okay?" She smiles. "Can we go on our date now?"
I start the car. "You're really excited about this."
"Because it's an actual date."
"When you move back I promise to take you on dates from now on. I'll even call and ask you out. And I'll wait downstairs with flowers like I'm picking you up."
She laughs. "You'd really do that?"
"Definitely. I know we kind of skipped the dating part of our relationship but it's not too late to go back and do it again. I should've been taking you out more. We got so used to hanging out at home, taking care of Lucky, that we didn't go out. That's going to change."
"I'd like that but I still think it's too soon to move back."
"I'm going to keep trying to change your mind. A month is too long."
"How's Lucky? Does he miss me?"
"He's completely lost without you. Just like me."
"He sees me every day when I walk him."
"Yeah, but at night you're not there. He runs through the apartment looking for you, and when he can't find you, he comes to me, barking at me like he's angry you're not there. Like it's my fault."
"You're making that up."
"No, seriously. He's pissed at me. Like I made you go away."
"I'll have a talk with him."
I smile at her. "You're a good dog mom."
"You're a good dog dad."
"We'd be good parents."
She looks at me, surprised. "Parents? It's a little soon to be talking about kids."
"Not according to our new agreement. We said we'd talk about stuff."
"Yeah, but having kids is way off in the future. We don't need to talk about that yet."
"But you do want kids someday, right?"
"Yeah, definitely."
"How many?"
"Two, maybe three."
"Same here. I think three would be the max."
"You're going to have to have them soon," she says with a smile. "You're getting old."
"I'm not old. And I'm dating someone much younger so I don't need to be in a hurry."
"Oh, so you're having kids with me?" She laughs.
"Could happen."
She looks out the side window. "Did you want kids with Lauren?"
"No. I never did, which should've been a sign I didn't see a future with her, but I kept ignoring the signs."
"What about her? Did she want kids?"
"She wanted one, maybe two, but not until she was established in her career, which means 35 at the earliest. I'm guessing she'll freeze her eggs, then try to have a kid when she's in her forties. Or it wouldn't surprise me if she never has them at all. She wants a career more than she wants kids." I reach over and take Star's hand. "Let's not talk about Lauren. We're on a date."
She smiles. "You're right. Let's talk about our dog child. He did the funniest thing today."
The date continues and it's perfect. We go to the movie, then have a long relaxing dinner. When I take her back to her apartment I don't want to leave. If she won't come home with me I want to stay here with her, but she won't let me.
"Give it another week," she says as we stand at the door.
"Okay, but Lucky's not going to be happy about this."
She reaches up and gives me a kiss. "I love you, and I'm going to live with you again. Just now right now. Doing this is already making a difference. I feel like it's making our relationship stronger."
"I hate to admit it but you're right. It IS making a difference. It's made me realize how much you mean to me. How much I want you in my life. How happy you make me."
"I feel the same way. As strange as it sounds, living apart has made me love you even more. I was worried we rushed into our relationship and maybe didn't know each other as well as we should have but I don't think that's true anymore. I think that was just me reacting to people's comments telling me it was too soon to be in love."
"So we were both listening to other people when we should've just trusted what we felt for each other."
"Yeah, but sometimes I still worry I'm not right for you and you'll want someone like Lauren again."
"Star, you need to stop thinking that way. I don't want another Lauren. Believe me, one was enough."
She glances at the door. "I should go. Tell Lucky goodnight for me."
"I will." I kiss her. "Goodnight. I love you."
"I love you too."
I leave, still missing her but feeling like everything's going to be fine. We'll spend another week apart, then hopefully, she'll move back in. But it'll be different this time. Even better than before.
***
Monday at work I'm finishing up with a patient when my nurse walks in.
"Oh, sorry," she says. "I thought you were done."
"We are." I motion to my patient, a guy in his forties who appears to have a broken wrist. "Mr. Alcott needs to go to X-ray. Can you take him there?"
"Sure." Amy, my nurse, smiles at him before looking back at me. "Dr. Sterling, can I speak with you a moment?"
"Certainly," I say, assuming this is about a patient. I follow her out into the hall. "What is it?"
"Lauren," she says in a hushed tone.
"Lauren?" I ask, surprised. "My ex?"
"Yes. She wants to see you."
"Right now?"
"She's waiting in your office."
Why is she bothering me in the middle of the day? What could she possibly want?
"Tell her I'll call her later." I open the door to the exam room and peek my head inside. "Mr. Alcott, Amy will take you for your x-ray now."
He nods and gets off the exam table.
"She won't leave," Amy whispers to me. "She's been in there a half hour."
I sigh. "Fine. Take care of Mr. Alcott."
Walking back to my office I try to imagine what this could be about. Maybe she's telling me she got the job in New York. If so, that's great but not something I need to know about right this minute.
"What is it, Lauren?" I ask as I walk in the door. She's standing with her back to me, looking out the window.
She turns to me and I notice she looks more tired than usual, her layers of makeup unable to hide the dark circles under her eyes.
Maybe she's sick. Maybe it's serious. Maybe that's why she's here.
"Corbin," she says in a solemn tone.
"Lauren, why are you here?" I ask, shutting the door. "Is something wrong?"
She steps closer to me. "I need to talk to you. But not here. Could we go somewhere?"
"It's the middle of the day. I have patients to see. Just tell me what's wrong. Are you sick?"
"Sick?" Her brows together. "No. Why would you think that?"
"Well, for one, you wouldn't show up here in the middle of a workday unless it was serious, and two, you don't look so good."
She huffs. "You never tell a woman sh
e doesn't look good. Did I teach you nothing during our time together?"
"I didn't mean it as a put down. I said it out of concern. You look tired. Have they increased your hours again?"
"No, actually they've cut them. I'm not even working today."
As she says it I notice she's not wearing her lab coat or hospital badge.
"Did something happen?" I ask cautiously. "With a patient?"
She narrows her eyes at me. "What exactly are you implying? That I made an error with a patient? You think that's why I was given time off?" She turns away from me, her arms crossed. "I can't believe you'd think that. You know I'm better than any other resident at this hospital."
"Then what is it?" I ask, stepping up behind her. "I don't have time to play guessing games. I need to get back to work."
She whips back to face me. "Just forget it. We'll talk later." She goes around me to the door.
"Lauren, wait. Just tell me now."
"We'll meet later." She pushes her shoulders back and sticks her chin out, making her look more like the Lauren I know, who thinks she's superior to everyone else.
"I don't have time to meet later."
"Why? Does your little girlfriend not let you go out at night?"
"Would you just tell me what's going on?"
"Tonight at seven," she says, getting the keys from her purse. "At the coffee shop by my parents' house."
I sigh. "Fine, but this better be important."
"It is," she says with a hint of a smile. I'm not sure what that means and I'm not sure I want to know. "See you tonight."
She leaves, and for the rest of the afternoon I'm left wondering what the hell is so important that we have to meet up later for her to tell me. Is it the job in New York? I can't imagine what else it would be. Then again, Lauren loves to overdramatize things so it could be something small that she's making into something big.
At five I go back to my office and text Star. I love you.
I love you too, she texts back.
I've been texting her all day, telling her how much I love her and miss her. I can't stop thinking about her. Whenever I have a free moment I get out my phone and text her. I never did that with Lauren. If I didn't see her I could go all day without thinking about her. I told myself it was because I was busy with work but it was really because I didn't love her like I thought I did. It's so clear to me now that I can't believe I didn't realize it when I was with her.
Another text pops up from Star. Want to have dinner tonight? Maybe around 7?
Shit. What do I say? Do I tell her I'm meeting Lauren at 7? But if I do, Star will think there's something going on there. I've told her numerous times Lauren and I are never getting back together but Star still worries it could happen. She doesn't trust Lauren. She thinks she'd do anything to get me back. I used to think so too but enough time has passed that I think Lauren's moved on. In fact, maybe that's why she wants to meet. To tell me she's found someone new. If so, I wouldn't care. She could've just told me without having to meet later.
I can't tonight, I text back, but then realize I just turned down my girlfriend for my ex. I should cancel on Lauren and go out with Star but I really want Lauren to leave me alone and she won't unless I meet with her.
When we talk tonight I'm going to tell her this is it. No more texts. No more phone calls. I don't want Lauren having any contact with me anymore. I don't even want to be friends with her. Our families are friends but that doesn't mean she and I have to be.
Tonight I'm going to end things with her once and for all. Whatever friendship we had is over. I'm done with her. For good this time.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Corbin
You have plans? Star texts, followed by a sad face emoji.
Yes. Sorry, I text, but before I send it I consider meeting her later tonight, like maybe at eight. There's no way I'm talking to Lauren for more than an hour. I'm hoping to be out of there in fifteen minutes. But knowing Lauren, she'll drag it out, making me late to meet up with Star. It's too risky so I just send the text, then send another one that says, Dinner tomorrow instead?
A few minutes pass and I start to get worried she hasn't texted back. Is she mad at me for turning her down? Or mad because I didn't tell her what I'm doing tonight? The whole point of us living separately is to learn to trust each other so this is her chance to trust me. I tell her all the time how much I love her and would never cheat on her. If she believes that, she'll trust me and not ask questions.
Okay, she finally texts back. I love you.
I love you too. And I miss you. Have you reconsidered the timing? I can't make it three more weeks without you.
I miss you too, she texts back. Let's talk this weekend. I think Lucky might need his parents back together sooner rather than later.
I send her a picture of him I took last night. His head is on my knee and he's looking up at me with his sad face.
Another week may be too long, I text.
No sad dog pics! she texts.
Whatever it takes to get you back.
Not fair, she texts.
I just love you and want you back. I miss you so much, Star.
It won't be much longer. I promise.
Can I call you tonight? I text. We haven't been talking at night. Only texting. It's part of our agreement to give each other space but it's driving me crazy. I need to talk to her. Texting isn't enough.
I won't be home. Alexis invited me to go to a club with her and we might be out late.
Star's going to a club? Guys will be asking her out. Wanting to dance with her. Touch her. What if she goes along with it?
I need to stop thinking that way. I have to trust her. That's the whole point of this little experiment of ours and I'm failing if I don't trust her to go to a club without me. She's going there to have fun, not meet a guy. She'd never cheat on me. I know she wouldn't. She loves me. She wants a future with me.
We'll talk tomorrow, I text. Have fun tonight!
I will! You too!
Fun with Lauren? Yeah, that's not going to happen. Lauren doesn't even know how to have fun.
At seven I arrive at the coffee shop and see Lauren sitting down at a table near the back. She's wearing black yoga pants and an oversized white sweater. I'm surprised she's dressing so casual. I was expecting her to show up in her usual dress slacks and a blouse or one of her many dresses.
"Corbin," she says, waving me over when she spots me walking in.
"I'm just going to get something," I say as I head to the counter.
"I already did," she calls out.
I sigh as I walk over to her. She hasn't changed. Not letting me order? She always did that when we were dating. It was another way to control me.
"I got you a latte," she says. "With skim milk."
I sit down across from her. "I like it with whole milk, not skim."
"Skim is better for your heart." She sets her purse down on the chair next to her. "You're not a young man anymore. You need to take care of your heart."
I take a deep breath, fighting the urge to argue with her.
A young woman carrying a tray comes over to our table. "Latte?"
"That's me," I say, glancing at Lauren. She gives me a smug smile, like she's happy with herself for making my drink choice. I'm not even going to drink it. I wanted a plain coffee, not a latte, and definitely not a latte with skim milk.
"Herbal tea," the waitress says as she sets the cup down in front of Lauren. "Can I get you two anything else?"
"That'll be it," I tell her before Lauren can. The waitress leaves and I point to Lauren's tea. "Since when do you drink tea?"
"I've had tea before," she says, picking up her cup.
"I've only seen you drink tea once, and that was only because the waiter messed up your order."
It happened last year right before Christmas. We were at a restaurant and the place was packed. The waiter could barely keep up and he was new so it was even harder for him. He gave Lauren tea ins
tead of coffee and she threw such a fit that we ended up getting our meals for free. After dinner, when Lauren got up to leave, I slipped a huge tip under my napkin for the poor guy. He was doing his best. The tea thing was his only slip-up, and he apologized multiple times.
"Things have changed," Lauren says. "I prefer tea now."
"That's a big change," I say, pushing my latte cup to the side. "Are you cutting back on caffeine?"
She really should. She drinks way too much coffee. I did too when I was working long shifts as a resident. It was the only way to stay awake, but Lauren drinks even more coffee than I did.
"I've cut out caffeine entirely," she says, "along with alcohol."
I nod, not really caring about her diet. I'm not here to make small talk. I just want her to say what she needs to say so I can go.
"So why are we here?" I ask, leaning back in my chair, my arms crossed.
She sets her cup down. "I have some news."
"And? What is it?"
"Well, first, about my job."
"Yes?"
"The hospital I applied at in New York called last week and offered me a position. The one I wanted."
"That's great!" I smile, not just because she got the job but because of what it means for Star and me. With Lauren in another city, another state, we'll finally have her out of our lives. No more seeing her at work, or the coffee shop in my building, or the deli down the street. She'll have a whole new life, and so will Star and I.
"You're not sad that I'm leaving?" she asks in a disappointed tone.
"I'm happy you got the job," I say, not addressing her question. "I know how much you wanted it and I know you wanted to get out of Boston. This is exactly what you wanted so I'm happy for you."
"I read the letter you wrote," she says, her eyes going to mine. "You had so many nice things to say about me."
"You read the letter of recommendation?" I ask, surprised. "That was supposed to be confidential."
She shrugs. "It was, but I saw it during the interview. It was sitting on the desk and when the man interviewing me went to get some water, I picked it up and glanced over it."
I'm angry she read it. I didn't want her to see it. It was far too nice and over the top, like the part about her kind and caring bedside manner. It's not at all true but I wrote it because I really wanted her to get the job. I wanted her out of Boston.
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