Already Designed

by Xavier Neal

  “But-”

  “Listen to what he has to say, Kadence. We discussed this, remember? Trust and talking.”

  I finally stop moving, drop down to a cross legged sitting position, and tuck my bag into my lap. “What if he’s just using acting as an excuse?”

  “You said it yourself. You know actors. You know the difference between a performance and someone being genuinely honest with you. Listen to everything Levi says, all the shit he isn’t saying, and then make your judgment. And if the verdict is he’s a lying, cheating bastard then I will make sure to personally pick you up from the airport.”

  My body slumps over further. “Fine.”

  “One more thing. For future reference, assuming he is just a pretty dumb blonde boy with a pair of abs that won’t quit, put down some ground rules. Tell him what would make you more comfortable or what would help make these situations easier for you to cope with. I.E., a third party present when rehearsing. Open doors. Public areas where anyone can pass by. That type of thing.”

  So someone can take a picture of it, sell it to the media, and I have to read about him tongue fucking his co-star on Facebook? Doesn’t seem like that would help defuse my feelings.

  “Gotta get back to Ivan. I think we’ve found a script I might love.”

  “Good luck.”

  The call promptly ends, and I drop the device into my lap not wanting to catch a glimpse of my background.

  Obviously, it’s a picture of me and my probably cheating boyfriend. Ex-boyfriend? In the process of becoming my ex-boyfriend?

  An annoyed grumble festers in the back of my throat.

  Why is dating so fucking stressful? Why can’t making a pros vs. cons list help me right now?

  “Kady?”

  My face snaps up to meet a familiar one. “Marlz? What the hell are you doing here?

  “We talkin’ about on the beach because um…,” his head motions to the chicks splashing in the water, “pretty sure that shit speaks for itself.”

  I roll my eyes as he has a seat next to me. “I meant in Coconut Bay.”

  “Been chillin’ in Levi’s trailer for the past couple of days. He invited me for a week.” He bends his legs and lets his arms drape over them. “Think he’s homesick and didn’t wanna admit it. He gets that way at least once a movie.”

  “Couple of days, huh? And how many times has he been making out with Baby Blow Me One More Time?”

  Marlz chuckles while nodding his head. “I can vibe with that reference. She does have the innocent school girl look to her and a pair of lips I wouldn’t mind wrapped around my dick.”

  “Then you fuck her.”

  “I might.” He gives me a puzzled look. “You’re not trying to tell me you really think Levi is hittin’ that, are you?”

  “I don’t know!” I viciously snap. “Just caught them ‘rehearsing’ an unscripted make out session. What’s next? Practice fucking?”

  Marlz chuckles once more. “You cuss a lot more when you’re pissed.”

  “Fuck you.”

  He gives me a playful finger point. “No.” His smile grows wild. “You’re not my type.”

  “Because I can spell more than my own name?”

  “Pretty much,” he returns to laughing. “Aside from my best friend being fucking in love with you, you’re too much maintenance. I prefer the women I fuck to require little to no effort.”

  A disgusted look pops onto my face.

  “You’re wifey material, Kady. That’s not the shit I’m looking for.”

  At least he’s honest with himself. Feel free to put that in his pros column. What? No, not for dating! Never for dating. For friendship only.

  “And to be honest Levi wasn’t looking for lifelong commitment until you came along.” His admission constricts my breathing. “Now that’s all he fucking thinks about.”

  The attempt at stroking my bruised ego pushes my glare out towards the ocean. “You’re full of shit.”

  “Oh yeah?”

  “Yeah.”

  “I caught him looking at rings the other day.”

  My jaw hits the ground as I let our eyes connect again.

  “Sapphires obviously because they’re blue like the ocean, but yeah. Each one had the word engagement in its description.”

  Incapable of replying, I simply continue to open my mouth to gawk.

  “Keep that shit secret,” he directs, pulling a cigarette from behind his ear. Marlz doesn’t divulge any more information on the subject. He simply sticks the object between his lips, lights it, and takes a long drag. “Look if Levi says they were just acting then that’s what the fuck they were doing. I know my boy. He’s not a cheater. He’s seen how much that shit can hurt. The level of damage it does.”

  I can’t stop myself from stating, “You were cheated on.”

  Marlz nods and has another drag. “Shit sucks, but you move on. My point is he’s not that kinda person. Doesn’t matter how pretty the face or how easy the pussy, Kady. He’s faithful. Like a fucking service dog to a blind woman. He ain’t leavin’ your side for shit. You feel me?”

  Remorse and rage continue their skirmish in my system.

  Was this all a big misunderstanding? Did I really overreact? Am I completely wrong for responding the way I did? Did I forget to look at this whole thing logically or more importantly objectively?

  “I’m gonna finish my smoke, stare at the thick bottom chick in the gold bikini, and then we’re gonna go back to the set so Levi can make this shit right.”

  I try not to smirk at the lack of question.

  Funny thing is, I know Adrianna would say the same shit if the situation was reversed. She’d defend me, brag about how awesome I am, and then drag him to come do damage control. Guess that’s just how best friends are. I’d do the same for her. Any of them really. It’s probably why Henley keeps pushing me to be understanding rather than move forward without a second glance. She just wants me to be happy. And admittedly, the last couple hours aside, that’s exactly what Levi tends to make me. I’ll go back with Marlz and hear him out, but I swear if there’s even a hint of a lie lingering behind his words you may have to stop me from doing something Cell Block Tango related.

  Chapter 17

  LEVI

  Normally, the rocking of the boat wouldn’t distract me. Normally nothing would distract me. Not the cameras that feel too close. Not the lights that are way too fucking bright. Not the pound of make up the artist put on my face. Normally, this would all be second nature, but not tonight. Tonight, it feels like a prison. Tonight, it is a prison.

  “Let’s roll it again!” Francesco shouts, clearly seething. “Stone!”

  I tear my attention away from the shore I keep praying Kady has returned to, but doubt she has.

  She’s probably already headed back home, which is why I told Andre to start checking around for the first available flight for me to get back to South Haven on. I don’t give a shit if it’s private or commercial or a fucking farm plane. I’m going after her. She thought halting production on a T.V. show was a big deal? Wait until I stop it for a fucking movie.

  “Stone!” He screams again.

  Two of my fingers fly to rub my temple.

  He’s been yelling at me for the past two hours, easy. He wants from this scene what I won’t deliver. What I can’t deliver without seeing the heartbroken look of my girlfriend’s face floating around my mind.

  “Give me a minute with him,” Lynn pleads to the director.

  She hustles from her end of the boat towards me, and I follow my instinct to move away. She follows me around to the other side where there’s nothing but peaceful waters calling my attention.

  “Levi-”

  “No.” I growl in a low volume. “This shit is your fault.”

  “I-”

  “You could’ve waited. We could’ve worked this scene out here. In front of the entire crew. In front of the director, but no. You just had to come into my trailer. You just had to kiss me.”r />
  “I made a character judgment call!”

  “You cost me my wife!” The word leaps off my tongue like it is the most natural thing I can ever say. I force my attention back out into the water. “Or the woman I was planning to make my wife….” My grip harshens. “Tell me the truth, Lynn. The God’s honest truth. Do that for me now and I’ll walk over there and do the scene the way we rehearsed. Lie to me and I walk off this set possibly costing you your first major role because Francesco doesn’t do casting replacements this far in.”

  Her breathing seems to cease.

  “Who kissed me in my trailer?” I slowly drag my eyes her direction. “Rainne or you?”

  She doesn’t hesitate to reply, “Rainne.”

  Do you believe her? Because I want to. I wanna think she has more respect for me than that. Because I wanna believe not every woman I come across in this industry is tarnished and tainted. I wanna believe there are still actresses who are here to just do their job the same way I am.

  “It was just a decision made in the heat of the scene, Levi. It wasn’t meant to be misconstrued as anything else and if Kady were here for me to explain that to, I would do it until I was blue in the face.” Lynn takes a step towards me and softly says, “You’re not my type. You’re more like the big brother I never got to have. If anything, Marlz is my level. Easy. Casual. Fun. Not looking for anything but the couple hours he has to kill. My career is everything to me, Levi. I wouldn’t jeopardize that even if you were my type and I had a crush on you.” She makes the gap slightly smaller. “I’m sorry Kadence is hurt by what she witnessed. I really am. But no matter how hurt she was it doesn’t change the fact what we let happen was perfect for the scene.”

  I turn away to give my face a hard scrub.

  It was. It was the little extra umph we both felt was missing. I didn’t wanna kiss Lynn, but Ike did wanna kiss Rainne. He needed to kiss Rainne goodbye. The same way I would want to kiss Kadence if I thought there was a possibility I would never see her again. Fuck, is that a real possibility now?

  “Let’s film it.” My body spins on its heels and I motion my head for her to get moving.

  The second we’re in Francesco’s sights he tosses his hands in the air. “Well!?”

  “I’m ready.”

  He huffs at the announcement from the small boat he’s standing in. There’s a brief mumbling under his breath before he starts yelling at the film crew. We each get a small touch up in makeup proceeded promptly by the word “action”.

  Our bodies start heading for the same spot, eyes stealing glances of the ship waiting for me in the distance.

  “Ike….” Her voice quietly croaks.

  “Nah, baby,” I scold with a cocky grin. “None of that shit.”

  She presses her lips together. Looks down at the ground. Shakes her head.

  Rainne hesitates to inch her body closer, and I can’t stomach the distance. I know what’s at stake. I’m not a complete fucking moron. Every score comes with the same roll of the fucking dice. Death. It’s what comes with the territory. But she’s gotta know I’m gonna do everything fucking possible to get back to her.

  “Look at me.”

  “Something’s off, Ike. I know it. I can feel it. I-”

  I reach out and yank her body to me by the wrist.

  Her chest hits mine with a heavy thud, but her eyes are still pinned on the floor.

  “Fucking look at me, Rainne.” My fingers force her chin up so our eyes can connect. “Everything’s gonna be fine, baby. Trust me.” She places a hand on my chest and my forehead drops to rest against hers. “I’m coming back to you. I’ll always fucking come back to you.”

  The words threaten to turn the Ike switch back off and the Levi Loving Kadence one back on. A knot expands in my throat, and I tighten my grip on Rainne’s ass, desperate to stay anchored to the moment.

  There’s shakiness in her voice. “You fucking better.”

  A small smirk crosses my lips before hers are pressed firmly against mine. I drop my hand to her other ass cheek, clinging to the performance, cementing my own simple truth about the situation.

  This is nothing more than a fucking job to me.

  “Cut!” Francesco yells with joy jumping in his voice.

  Lynn and I part automatically.

  “Oh that was brilliant!” His glee glows. “The chemistry was remarkable! And the added kiss at the end….” He folds his hands together and shakes them in praise. “Perfection.”

  My co-star offers me a supportive smile that I ignore.

  “Where was this performance hiding all night?”

  I deny him his answer by countering with a question, “Can we move onto the diving scene now?”

  Francesco purses his lips in brief contemplation. Thankfully he concedes and the crew begins preparation for the next shoot.

  Swimming is second nature to me. Somedays I’m convinced it’s actually first. And this scene is so easy I almost wanna fuck it up on purpose just to spend more time in the water. Just to have a few minutes of serenity that I haven’t been able to feel in weeks.

  “Are you ready to start rolling?” Brad, head cameraman asks into his radio. There’s a garbled reply from the other end proceeded with him nodding. “We’re green.”

  “Now remember,” Francesco begins sternly, “you are to do this swim as stealthily as fucking possible. Just like you practiced. Just like you trained.”

  “Yes sir.”

  Lynn takes her position near the railing where she is supposed to be waiting and gives me an encouraging grin.

  Which I don’t need. I can do this dive and quick swim in my sleep. It wasn’t what I had to be trained on. Proper breathing, agility, and taking the prepared routes to avoid the camera catching me were what the majority of my lessons were focused on. You can relax. Swimming, day or night, is easy shit for me.

  After he yells the magic word, I tilt my head at Rainne, wink, and dive in.

  The cold water caresses my skin immediately sending a sense of tranquility flooding through my veins. Surrounded by the only happiness that’s never betrayed me, I gracefully start to cover the short distance I am expected to in the speed I’ve spent weeks building up to. Just as my hands wrap around the ladder on the backside of the boat, a sharp pain knocks me backwards into the water. The burning soars to excruciating levels in seconds and the struggle to reach the surface becomes even harder. Knowing better than to panic, I dedicate all of my effort into getting back to the top of the water. Getting to a much needed gulp of air. I force my arms to move harder and my legs to fight past the agony. Nothing seems to make a difference. All of a sudden there’s a throbbing in my head to match the one in my lower extremity. Misery rapidly continues to spread until the only thing I can do is surrender to the sinking. Millions of thoughts sprint to the front of my mind desperate to be the last one to ever exist. However, the winner is blatantly obvious without a true contender.

  Kadence….

  Chapter 18

  KADENCE

  I remember what it was like drowning. The fear. The helplessness. The way your heart pounds against your chest like it wants to be saved even if the rest of you can’t be. The prayers upon prayers you’re mentally screaming to whoever or whatever will listen to you. It is a life altering experience….just like falling in love with Levi. What’s interesting is many of the effects are the same. The fear of him breaking my heart. The helplessness of preventing myself from being head over heels. The way my heart pounds against my chest every time I see him smile. I’ll never forget drowning, but thanks to the man in this bed I’ve managed to move past the lingering anxiety. If he died? There’s not a chance in hell I’d ever be able to get past it.

  Marlz gives my shoulder a sympathetic squeeze. “I’m gonna step out for a smoke. Need anything?”

  I shake my head, pull my legs up to my chest, and drop my chin onto my knees.

  He exits the room leaving me with the nothing but the sounds of my heart thumping and t
he obnoxious beeping of the machines.

  Jellyfish stings affect everyone differently. Levi, the Poseidon of my heart, is apparently more allergic than he ever bothered to mention. Thankfully, the emergency crew waiting on board for worst case scenarios like this saved him before the damage could reach detrimental levels. He wasn’t breathing when they got him on board, but they got him that way shortly after. During the ambulance ride over he passed out due to severe pain...or at least according to the EMT that’s why he did. After the doctor pumped Levi full of pain killers and applied stuff to take down the swelling, he assured us Levi was resting and probably wouldn’t need more than one night at the hospital.