by M. J. Carnal
“Anytime, Red. I needed a little more excitement in my life.” Max laughs and I know that no matter what ever happens, he will always be someone I call a friend. “We’ll head over to the show in a few hours. Settle in. Order some room service. Whatever you guys want. I’m right next door, so if you need anything, just knock.”
Chapter 13
You’ll call me sir as you shatter on cue
A flick of my tongue, I’ll own you. – Liquid Regret
The crowd is massive. The fairgrounds are packed, bodies bumping, heat blazing. Both stages are in full swing. Bands are everywhere. It’s almost like a dream. Last year, this was us. The small acts were early in the day. The crowds are larger this year. The energy is buzzing. I’m having a hard time containing my excitement.
Part of it is that I’ll see Mia in just a few minutes. Max sent me a text when they left the hotel. My body is already on fire. I’ve missed her this week. Oksana arrived about an hour ago. We did the obligatory photos for the press, held hands, smiled. It’s all bullshit. Since I told her about Mia, she’s been distant. I’m not sure what it means but it makes it easier when she isn’t all over me. Thank God for small favors.
I always know the second the rest of the band arrives. There’s a shift in energy. The crowd screams and the photographers circle them like prey. The only privacy I’ve seen here is behind the B stage. It backs up into the woods and the last act there tonight is a local band that’s in the middle of a big scandal. It should be pretty quiet and may be my only chance to get Mia alone tonight.
“Max.” The flashbulbs are popping. Since he and Mia became ‘an item’, he’s had a ton of attention. He’s a superhero for doing this for me. He hates the spotlight.
Della and Harley join me as I stare Mia down. Della wraps her arms around me like she always does. Aside from Harley, she’s the closest person in the world to me. I would protect her with my life. With all the shit going on with Harley, I feel an overwhelming responsibility to protect her. She saved my life once. It’s time to return the favor.
As soon as Mia joins us, my heart starts to hammer behind my ribs. She smells amazing. Her green eyes are bright and happy. The pull to her is overwhelming. I want to hug her. I want to kiss her. Shit, I want to do a hell of a lot more than that. I step forward and hug Laney first. I need to make this look friendly and not obvious. When I pull away, I fist bump Max. The vultures are circling. Mia tenses when I hug her. I’m trying. I really am. But it’s hard to act like her friend.
“You look gorgeous,” I whisper in her ear and she shivers. She’s mine. Hands down.
Max clears his throat and puts his arm around her. She smiles up at him. Part of me wants to kick his ass. I want to punch that smug smile off his face. She seems comfortable with him. I need to pull my head out of my ass. Green is not my color.
“You’re up in two hours. Sound check in one. Head on over to stage A and get situated backstage. They’ve got tents set up so find a seat and stay put.” Josh is barking commands, trying to herd us away from the cameras. We value our time before a show and the sooner we get out of the spotlight, the more we’ll all relax.
The word backstage is seriously a joke here. They have four white tents set up. Makeup and hair is set up in two and the other two have places to relax and stuff our faces with all kinds of shit that will slow me down on stage. The things artists ask for always make me laugh. I’m happy with a bottle of water and some fruit. Afterwards, I’ll stuff my face with pizza and fast food. Before, I need quiet and I need to hydrate.
I’ve spent the last ten minutes kicked back in a lounge chair with the makeshift air conditioner blowing at my feet. The sound check was quicker than I thought it would be. Sitting here, I have the perfect view of Mia and Laney, relaxing with glasses of champagne. Della joined them about five minutes ago and is telling them stories about the band. Hearing Mia’s laugh calms my nerves. I want to fast forward through the show and get her back to the hotel. I need to find a way to keep my brain and my heart on the same page. My brain knows what has to be done. My heart has a mind of its own and it’s completely out of control.
“It’s time.” Chance smiles down at me as he throws the guitar strap over his shoulder.
One more deep breath and I’m ready. I wink at Mia and follow Chance around to the side of the stage. Security is all around Harley as we line up to start the show. I miss the days of having a few minutes alone with the guys before we’re on.
“Ladies and Gentleman, Liquid Regret.” Joshua’s voice echoes as the screams start. I hear Max pounding on his drums, dry ice lifts from the stage, it’s eerie and I love it. Griffin and Chance run on stage as the lights change. I shut my eyes and I’m in the zone. The only thing that exists is my music. The only thing I know is lyrics. It’s all I am.
The guitars scream into the night. The wind picks up. I take the steps two at a time and take center stage. My voice is rough from being outside. It’s exactly the sound that the crowd responds to. It happens by accident but it is the best sound we get. I can see Mia in the front row, dancing with Della, Oksana and Laney. It’s like a dream, having the woman I’m crazy for enjoying my music just feet away from me.
“We’ve got a little something we’ve been working on.” The end of my sentence is drowned out by screams. “We’re gonna try it out for you tonight. You ready to get dirty?”
I can’t help but chuckle. I never knew what the word swoon actually meant. Now, I know and I can’t believe that people do it over me and the rest of these bastards that are up on this stage.
On your knees, your mouth is home
Your body, your mind, your soul I own
you moan, you soar, you writhe, you scream
This is real. A hot, wet dream.
You’ll call me sir as you shatter on cue
A flick of my tongue, I’ll own you
We wrote the lyrics on the tour bus two nights ago. It was effortless and fell together easier than anything we’ve ever written. Our usual lyrics are dark, cold. This song, shit. It’s Mia. I want to own her. I want to own every single inch of her.
Our set is over before I know it. The crowd is spent, sweating, turned on. It’s exactly how I like to leave them. The lights go dark, security is on stage rushing us off. There are no encores tonight. I need to get to Mia. My body is on fire and she’s the only thing to put out the flames.
I see Joshua out of the corner of my eye. He’s pushing Oksana, Laney and Mia toward our holding area backstage. There aren’t any press conferences scheduled tonight. It’s a small miracle and I couldn’t be more thankful. Oksana is at my side before I know it. She’s waving to the crowd that has gathered outside the tent. Max is ahead of us, pulling Mia by the hand. She’s flushed and smiling and I want to scream. My heart is so torn. It’s like I’m having to choose the band or Mia. I don’t know why I can’t have both.
“Come with me.” Harley grabs me and Oksana and heads out the side of the tent at a run. Max and Mia are right behind us. They want to get us out of the spotlight as quickly as possible.
Something has changed. Joshua stays behind with security, holding the cameras at bay. Della is being pushed onto the tour bus by the head of security. Chance is pushing Laney through the door as he yells at the few people that have gathered around the bus. Oksana trips, sending the three of us head first into the pavement. Harley’s hands are quick, grabbing her before impact. I’m not so lucky. I feel the concrete rip my jeans, my arm scrapes against the rocks. The sting is instant but welcoming. I am usually so numb after a show and this snaps life back into focus.
“Go.” I wave Harley off as he throws Oksana over his shoulder and sprints the rest of the way to the bus. Getting him to Della is more important than having him help me up. Max and Mia stop. She kneels next to me and brushes the loose pavement off my arm. Her eyes are concerned as she takes in the scrape. It hits me like a ton of bricks. I’m in love with her. Not just questioning if this is love. Not just wondering if this
is what it should feel like. Not just worrying about getting it wrong. I can’t fucking breathe. I grab at my t-shirt, trying to catch my breath. I’m being suffocated. I rip it over my head, gulping for air. “Holy shit.”
“What hurts?” She puts her hands on my shoulders. “Are you ok?”
“I love you.”
Her eyes are wide. She looks around and locks eyes with Max. He’s pinching the bridge of his nose and shaking his head. When she looks back at me, her eyes are filled with tears. “What?” Her voice is a whisper.
Max pulls me to my feet and points between the busses. “Through there. Go. My driver is waiting. I’ll go with the bus. No one can see you. Do you understand me?”
I don’t have to be told twice. I pull Mia through the line of buses into the edge of the woods. It’s dark and quiet. The black Town Car is waiting and I realize I’m almost at a full sprint when Mia starts laughing. She’s windblown, flushed, out of breath. I need her. I can’t wait any longer.
I practically dive into the back seat, pulling her into my lap so she’s straddling me. Her hair spills around us. My lips are on her neck, her jaw, her ear. I’m frantic. “Fuck me, Mia.”
“The driver.” Her fear is instantly forgotten when I run my fingers into her dress and find her core. She tenses and her eyes widen but slam shut when I dip into her. She moans and lets her head fall back. Her hips roll against my hand. She’s ready and I can’t wait another second.
“Give me your cell phone.” I yell up to the driver. He throws it over the seat to me. He’s about to get a show and it isn’t one I want recorded. The car starts to roll forward. We have about ten minutes.
Mia’s hands fumble with my jeans. I pull a condom out of my back pocket and hand it to her before pulling my jeans down to my knees. I’m sheathed and ready. When she slides down me, my eyes cross. This is home.
Chapter 14
I don’t know what’s happening to me. I’ve always been a private person. I just can’t help myself around Damien. I’d probably crawl on stage and drop my clothes if he asked me to. Last time, it was a dressing room. Hearing Chance having sex was such a turn on. Now I’m in the back seat of a car, a stranger driving us back to a hotel. I don’t care. If I don’t get Damien inside of me, I feel like I won’t survive.
He hands me a condom and I rip it open with my teeth. After I roll it on, I slide down his shaft. I’m soaked. I circle my hips and his eyes close. I grip his shoulders and pull myself against him harder. Fuck, this feels good. Every part of his body fits perfectly against mine.
I need him deeper. I arch my back, gripping his knees with my hands. I ride him hard, every part of my body consumed by pleasure. His cock rubs against my G-spot, over and over and over. I’m chanting something incoherent. I can hear the driver’s breathing change. I know he’s turned on and that just intensifies this for me. Electricity shoots up my legs, coils in my belly and I explode, my body crumbling against Damien as wave after wave of pleasure grips his cock, milking him, begging him for release.
Damien grabs my hips, driving his shaft into me as far as he can go. Sweat beads on his forehead. His hips piston, his cock drives into me faster and faster. My body clenches around him. “This pussy is mine. You can walk around with Max at your side and be all smiles. But this is mine. Tell me, Mia. Who owns you?”
He pinches my clit and I scream. “You do.” I can’t breathe. The pleasure is too much. My toes curl and my body tightens. I watch him as he pulls his fingers from between us and sucks them into his mouth. His eyes close as he moans. My orgasm is just out of reach. He knows it and he’s taunting me.
“You want to come, Mia?” He smirks and I want to cry. The pleasure is building and I can’t control my body. “Get ready.”
He licks his finger, reaches around behind me and inserts it into my ass. The sensation is too much. I shatter into pieces, screaming, riding his finger and his cock. The orgasm is fierce, the strongest I have ever had. I can’t hear anything, I can’t open my eyes. All I can do is feel.
Damien growls low in his throat. It’s so sexy and sends me into another orgasm. My body is on fire. I collapse against him and feel him swell before emptying himself into the condom. We’re both soaked, panting, sated.
His grip loosens from my hips and he pulls me into a hug. “I fucking love you, Mia.” He bites my shoulder then licks away the sting.
“I love you, too,” I whisper against his chest as we pull up in back of the hotel. The sudden truth of what we’ve done in front of the driver hits me. I blush and bury my head against his shoulder. “I can’t believe we just did that.”
“My Mia is a little bit of an exhibitionist.” He rolls me off of him and toward the door. “It’s sexy as hell.”
He reaches across me and opens the door. Max is standing against the back wall with his arms crossed. He smirks when he catches my eye. Busted. I go from being completely fearless to giggling with nerves. I feel like I’ve just been caught doing something I shouldn’t. When he sees my blush, he laughs and helps pull me from the car.
Damien stays behind, talking to the driver. I’m so glad I’m not part of that conversation. I duck under Max’s arm, feeling safe. He chuckles and shakes his head. He’d lay his life down for Damien. It makes him honorable. It also makes him amazing and I know that I will spend forever making sure he knows I would do the same for him. “Laney is down with Della and Griff.”
I laugh as I fumble with my keycard. “I feel a little dirty.”
I’ve definitely caught him off guard. His laugh is contagious. “What?”
“I feel like I just had a fling with someone and now I’ve met back up with my boyfriend.” I sigh as I throw the key on the dresser and collapse onto the bed. “Now I sound crazy.”
I feel the bed dip and Max lies down next to me. He laughs as he pushes the hair behind my ear. “It’s easy to get caught up in all the hype. Don’t get lost in the bullshit.”
I hear the door click closed and Damien is glaring at the bed. “What’s this?”
Max and I laugh. Damien’s glare softens. “Calm your shit, D. We’re just waiting for you.” Max gets up and slaps him in the stomach. “Enjoy my girlfriend.”
Damien laughs and grabs for him but Max is faster and gets out of the door before he can touch him. I smile as his attention turns back to me. His blue eyes memorize me. Just a few hours ago I was worried I wasn’t strong enough to get involved in a relationship with him. Now, I know that I couldn’t give him up if I tried.
He kneels on the floor next to me and pulls me to him. “Hi,” he whispers in my ear and goose bumps form all over my skin.
“Hi.” I whisper back.
“We’ve only got a couple hours left. Can I just hold you?” He climbs onto the bed and wraps his arms around me. I can’t help but melt into him. “We’re back in two weeks. It’s only for a weekend but I want to spend it with you if you’ll have me. Maybe you can meet Xander?”
“Of course. I’d love that.” My eyes burn. Before I know it, the tour will be over and he’ll be home. Della handles all of this with such grace. I’ve decided to take a chapter from her book and not curl up and wait for him to come home. I’m going to enjoy my life until he comes back into it. It’s then that I’ll truly live. I’m looking forward to that day.
His thumbs caress my face. “You’re everything, Mia. I don’t ever want to lose us.”
My heart hammers in my chest. “I’ll be waiting for you.”
He kisses my forehead. “I’ll get through the next few cities then Joshua will have to end this charade with Oksana. I don’t want to hide you. You’re not my secret. You’re my life.”
Tears fill my eyes and all I can do is nod. I know the day we stop hiding will be the best day of my life.
Della takes my hand and smiles at me. I’ve been dreading the flight home. “It gets easier. I promise. And then before you know it, they’re back and you miss your freedom.”
“Promise?” Jesus, this woman is gorgeous. I
t’s hard to look away once you’ve made eye contact.
“You’re still in the honeymoon phase. Once it wears off and you realize you can’t even breathe when he’s home and bored, you’ll miss these times. The first tour was hard for me. This one is easier. I guess that it helps we’re settled and I have a permanent home in LA.” She squeezes my hand before letting go. “When they’re home and they aren’t recording, they have a hard time being alone. At least Griffin does. He usually has Damien over and they both stare at me like I hold the key to what they’re supposed to do with their time off. I’m glad you’re around now. Maybe they can both stare at you for awhile.”
“It must be such a hardship to have two hot, rock gods staring at you,” Laney laughs. “Next time it happens, how about invite a sister over? I need a little more hottie in my life.”
“Trust me, it’s not glamorous. Both of them in sweatpants, not showered, scratching and groping themselves like they love to do. Add Chance to the mix and it’s way too much testosterone in one room. I can feel the hair growing on my chest.” Della smiles. “Max is usually my savior. He’ll get them out and doing something.”
Laney gets the stare down and I can’t help but laugh as she squirms. “What?”
“I have an idea.” Della claps her hands. “How about asking Max out on a date? He’s adorable, Lane. He’s a little shy but women like a mysterious man.”
“I was thinking the same thing.” I beam at her.
“Max is great. But he’s not dirty enough for me. I feel like I’d scare him to death.” Laney shakes her head no. “What if he’s a virgin? I like my boys to be men.”
Della chokes on her water. “He’s not a virgin. He’s had sex with Oksana. I know that for sure. I’m sure they are lots more. But he’s not one to kiss and tell.” She’s quiet for a minute. “He doesn’t really ever say much, does he?”
“Oksana sure gets around, doesn’t she?” Laney turns back to me. “Where is she?”
“She’s walking in some fashion show in New York.” Della just shakes her head. “She means well. She’s just lost. I just hope someone can find her.”
