“No, I wish it were that simple.” K sighed. “I need take the block Jaron gave you into myself.”
“Why not go to Jaron and let him give you your own? You know, he’s been searching everywhere trying to find you.” Citera turned, looking over her shoulder at K, but she refused to meet her gaze.
“I can’t yet,” K sighed, staring down at the ground. “He’s the reason I lost control to begin with. I’m frightened that if I see him again, and the feelings return, I won’t be able to restrain myself like I did the last time.”
“Restrain?” Citera gasped. “K, you nearly—”
“I know!” K snapped angrily. Citera flinched, but remained seated. K once again closed her eyes and took a few deep breaths to calm down, before speaking calmly again, “I know, which is why I can’t see him yet.” K turned to face her. “I don’t want to hurt him, I need him. And I need you, too. That’s why I have waited so long for this opportunity to be alone with you.”
Citera’s hands clenched her growling stomach. She didn’t want the emotions to come back again, today was the first day that she had felt somewhat of a resemblance of normalcy. “But if you take my block, won’t the nightmares return and my appetite disappear?”
“Temporarily, maybe. However, with the help of the block I can regain control of my own emotions so you won’t be forced to feel them, much like before. Then, once everything is back to normal, I can start teaching you how to create your own blocks so that when something like this happens again, you will be better prepared.”
It did not escape Citera’s notice that K had said when, not if. “Do things like this happen often?”
With a solemn expression, K turned her attention back to the field. “I try not to let it happen, but I would be lying to you if I said it wouldn’t happen again. What you have been feeling is just a fraction of what I keep inside all the time. Without any form of release it builds up little by little until it becomes more than I can handle. I knew this was coming, it was one of the reasons I had been spending so much time in the Pit, but in the end, even that wasn’t enough.”
Citera didn’t care to think about anything like this ever happening again. But it wasn’t something she could ignore as long as she was linked with K, which apparently was going to be for a long time. “Well, okay,” Citera sighed. “How do we do this?”
K grinned slightly, then turned cross legged to face her. “Just give me your hands and relax.”
Citera spun her body around so she was facing K with her legs crossed, then put her hands palms up on her knees. Placing her palms into Citera’s, K began to explain the process.
“It is going to feel strange, like I am taking a piece of you. But whatever you do, don’t panic. Fear is the worst emotion to have around me. It feeds the darkest part of my nature and awakens a primal urge to hunt and kill.”
Citera nodded weakly and closed her eyes as K’s voice called to her, “Okay, here we go.”
For the second time in only a span of hours, Citera had someone creeping around inside of her. But unlike the sensation she had experienced with Jaron, who had blanketed her in warmth when he placed the block within her, whatever K was doing was icy cold. She could feel her skin prickling from the frigid sensation creeping up her arms before it divided in half, part going up toward her head, the other creeping down into her gut. But when K’s frigid power reached the warmth of Jaron’s block, a struggle ensued as Jaron’s block resisted its removal. With the two powers warring against each other inside her, Citera doubled over in pain and moaned.
“Hang in there,” K comforted while shoving more of her power into Citera. Her fingers and hands were the first to go numb as Citera’s entire body was overwhelmed by the freezing power surging inside of her. Unable to suppress her body’s response to the drastic drop in its temperature, Citera was soon shivering uncontrollably.
“Just a moment longer,” K said, unable to mask the strain in her voice.
Citera nodded, though she was no longer able to feel her fingers and hands. She struggled to suppress the urge to break the connection, knowing K needed her to stay strong. Perhaps sensing she wouldn’t be able to take it much longer, K sent another massive surge of power through her body, managing to overwhelm the block and forcing it to snap free. Citera fought down a scream as K’s frigid powers latched on and dragged Jaron’s warmth back into herself, before releasing Citera. Opening her eyes, Citera focused on K sitting in front of her with her eyes closed and both hands pressed against her chest.
A faint dark aura surrounded K as she appeared to be struggling to force the block inside her own body. Citera watched the aura grow darker and darker, as K grimaced, breaking out in a light sheen of perspiration. After a few more moments, the aura faded away and K exhaled a deep breath.
“Are you all right?” Citera asked quietly.
K opened her eyes to see the young girl staring at her wide-eyed and questioning. “I am fine. His powers have a tendency to resist me, much like Jaron himself.” K winked playfully at Citera. “But in the end, I always get my way. How about you, are you all right?”
Citera smiled; K looked and sounded like herself again. Feeling relieved, she pushed down the urge to reach out and hug her, and settled instead on clasping her hands together in her lap. “I feel great.” she yawned. “But suddenly I’m really sleepy.” Frowning, Citera looked at K. “You aren’t doing to me what you did to Dirik, are you? Please tell me you’re not.”
K’s lips turned up at the edges slightly. “I wouldn’t think of it, it’s just a side effect of the block being removed. Why don’t you lie down and rest? I’ll stay here with you until Dirik wakes up, then we can all go back to camp.”
Citera yawned again. “You’re going to come back, too?” Unable to fight the exhaustion, Citera curled up on the grass next to K, who reached over and ran her hand lovingly through her hair.
“Yes, I will come back with you. I can’t very well hide from Jaron forever, if nothing else he is persistent.”
“It’s because he cares about you, maybe even loves you.” As soon as she spoke the words, Citera immediately wished she could take them back. Instead, she closed her eyes, enjoying K’s hand grazing the length of her hair. “Sorry, K, I shouldn’t have said that, it’s none of my business.”
“It’s all right,” K’s voice soothed as she drifted off to sleep. “Rest, and when you wake up everything will be back as it was.”
Chapter 10
Maya trudged down the barren dirt road several feet behind Jarod. She was exhausted, hungry, and frustrated, wanting nothing more than to sit down and rest for a while. But sit down where? All around them vast agricultural fields stretched for as far as the eye could see. Endless fields of green that filled the air they breathed with a toxic mixture of fertilizer and chemicals, which burned her nostrils and forced her to breathe through her mouth. Looking out over the never-ending expanse, with no sign of shade in any form within sight, Maya heaved a heavy sigh. Her only hope was that they would soon come across an orchard, or maybe an old barn, so that she could try to persuade him to stop and rest for a little while.
They had been traveling for days, walking and occasionally running from one small farming village to another. Their mission simple—gather information regarding who was behind the rebellion propaganda circulating through the area, then put an end to it. In the beginning, the idea of being outside the Tower in the open air had sounded so enticing. But after several days of traveling down dirt roads completely exposed to the unforgiving rays of the sun, the only thing she now desired was a soft bed and a hot shower. Her mind drifted back to the Tower and the massive bed that awaited her there, and before she could stop it, another deep sigh escaped her lungs, this time loud enough for Jarod to hear. Cutting his eyes her direction, he frowned.
But he could give her the evil eye all he wanted. She couldn’t care less. Unlike him, she needed to sleep, and there was no way he was going to make her feel bad about it. Maya felt she ha
d been a fairly good sport about all this so far, however three days walking in the blazing sun, with hardly any sleep to speak of, had really tested her resolve. Heck, she hadn’t even complained when he forced her to spend that one night in a bug infested, drainage pipe that reeked of mildew and manure. So was it really too much to ask for one night, indoors in a comfortable bed? No, she didn’t think so. Crossing her arms over her chest, she met his frown with a scowl of her own, making it clear she wasn’t going to be intimidated.
With a frustrated grunt, Jarod returned his attention to the road ahead, leaving her glowering at his back. Shaking her head, Maya rolled her eyes and relaxed her posture, continuing to follow silently along behind him. Distant and silent, it was how things had been since they left the Tower. Neither she nor Jarod had spoken more than a few words to the other since they had begun their journey. In truth, the most communication either of them had had with the other, came in the form of Jarod barking orders at her. At each village they went to investigate, he insisted she wait on the outskirts while he went in alone to question the villagers. Though she was not pleased at being cast aside, she decided it was probably best not to argue with him … a decision she was happy she had made after he returned from a few of the villages with his clothing splattered with blood.
Though it disturbed her to think of what he had done, Maya knew better than to ask. And she respected him enough not to. Truth be told, she probably should be afraid of him, maybe even hate him, for the things he had done and would continue to do in the Shadows’ name, the rest of Vanteria did. But she couldn’t, unlike the rest of them, she had seen the man underneath the visage of the Enforcer and had witnessed firsthand the torment he was forced to endure on a regular basis. And thanks to the many years of physical and mental abuse she had suffered at the hands of her own father, Maya understood all too well what years of manipulation could do to a person. How it could strip someone of their very soul.
Maya’s own father had used fear and violence to control and isolate her. But that was nothing more than a drop in a lake compared to the fifty years of physical and mental torment Jarod had suffered at the hands of the Shadows. And their half century of mind games and abuse had served their purposes well. In the end, they had created the perfect henchman. A man so damaged, he was unable to connect emotionally to the people surrounding him. A man who had suffered for so long it had rendered him incapable of compassion, because he simply had no idea what it was.
It had taken her six exhausting months to just scratch the surface and get a glimpse of the man she knew was hiding underneath the shroud of darkness. And once she had, it had been all she had hoped for. Even now, as they trudged through the endless miles of farming fields in the sweltering heat, memories of him laughing as they sat side by side on the couch, kept her going. And let’s not forget about that kiss, Maya swooned just thinking about how his strong hands had grabbed her and pulled her into him, pressing his lips firmly against hers. Just the thought of those wonderful moments brought a smile to her face and had her heart rate doubling in her chest. It was like being in a dream you wished you wouldn’t wake up from out of fear that once you did all the wonderful moments would be lost. Well she had woken up, and though she hadn’t forgotten what had passed between them, it seemed Jarod had.
And yet she couldn’t help but feel it was her fault. From the moment she withdrew from his attempt to comfort her, she had noticed him returning to his old habits. That very next morning she awoke, once again, to find herself alone in the room. And the trend continued even out here. Of course he always returned to her within minutes—somehow always seeming to know when she had awakened—but his demeanor toward her, no matter how hard she tried to rekindle those moments together, remained distant and cold.
Was he still angry with her for not telling him what happened that day in the throne room? Or worse, did he not believe her when she told him that Kai had not forced himself on her? Could it be the thought of being with her after Kai repulsed him? If she had to be honest with herself, everything from her ripped dress, to her behavior with him afterword, pointed to the unthinkable happening. And it probably didn’t help matters that she still refused to tell him exactly what had happened. But she just couldn’t, not yet.
She needed more time to sort through the events on her own, to come to terms with her role in what had happened. Never would she have imagined herself as the type of person who would willingly sacrifice the life of another to save her own. Yet that was exactly what she had done. She had doomed a girl who had been guilty of nothing more than making foolish decisions. It certainly hadn’t warranted the punishment she and her fiancé had been dealt. But even that didn’t bother Maya as much as the fact that she felt no guilt whatsoever for what she had done. In all actuality, she felt nothing but emptiness.
Thankfully, Jarod had not pushed her for more information after that night. Being a man burdened by many secrets of his own, he understood better than anyone the need she felt to deal with this in her own way. However, as she watched him lumber down the road in front of her, silent and brooding, she couldn’t help but wonder if her silence wasn’t feeding into his already volatile temper. Choosing to not harp on the thought too much, especially since there was nothing she could do about it at the moment, she instead focused her attention on the distance ahead.
Clearing the top of a hill she could make out a village coming into view a short distance ahead. Another sigh escaped her as she imagined the atrocities he would unleash on the poor, unsuspecting souls below. Cutting his gaze back toward her again, Jarod heaved a heavy sigh of his own before refocusing his attention on the surrounding scenery, most likely trying to locate a place to stash her.
Unfortunately, they were surrounded by nothing but open land. In the other villages they had visited, there had been a barn or at the very least a tree where she could rest and escape the summer’s unforgiving heat. But here there was nothing. The frown hardened on Jarod’s face as he reached in his pocket and pulled out a rag and handed it to her. Gratefully she took it and wiped the sweat from her forehead, while she studied his cool demeanor. He was dressed from head to toe in his heavy black attire, complete with coat and gloves, yet he looked as cool and relaxed as he would if they were strolling down the road on a brisk autumn day.
She, on the other hand, had already shed multiple layers of the clothing Gaia had insisted she wear. A solid grey outfit, designed for fighting yet feminine enough to keep Gaia pleased. The dress, which fell to her knees, had large splits in both sides to allow her unrestricted movement of her legs. It was built from a sturdy but lightweight material, and was beautifully embroidered with silver vines that twisted and turned over the fabric, highlighting each curve of her petite frame. Underneath the dress, she wore a pair of thick leggings and knee high leather boots. The Shadows had also provided her with a matching long grey coat and gloves, much like Jarod’s black ones. But after the second day of walking in the heat she had quickly removed them both in favor of the short sleeves of the dress.
Letting out a deep breath, he turned toward her, stuffing his rag back into his pocket. “You will have to come with me this time. There is no shelter out here, and these fields are far from safe.”
Turning her attention from him back to the road ahead she nodded. The fields didn’t seem all that dangerous, but she wasn’t going to argue. Perhaps if this town had an inn she could persuade him to stop for the night.
“No matter how you saw yourself before all this,” he continued, his voice taking on a stern tone, “you are now a representative of the Shadows’ forces. And while that alone will make most respect and fear you, for many others that makes you a target.”
Maya’s heart rate doubled with anxiety. Deep down she had known this day would come, the day when she would be seen and presented for the first time as Jarod’s partner. Maybe waiting on the outside of the villages hadn’t been such a bad idea. Once this village saw her with him, by his side, word would spread like w
ild fire that the Enforcer had a new partner. Then her troubles would truly begin. Pretty soon all the vigilantes that had focused their attention on him would begin targeting her as well. And she was a much easier target.
“I’ll stay out of your way,” she said quietly swallowing her fears.
Without a word, Jarod resumed walking in the direction of the village, with Maya following a few steps behind. Before long she was overwhelmed with a sense of unease, like there was someone or something out there watching her. Turning her attention to the fields, in an attempt to locate the source of her anxiety, Maya was taken aback by what she saw.
Men, women, and children, many no older than thirteen, worked tending, hoeing, and picking row after endless row of vegetables, fruits, and melons. Produce meant to fill the bellies of Terrians all over Vanteria, while they themselves continued to starve laboring in the scorching sun. But none of them were paying her any mind; actually, it felt as if they were all purposely avoiding looking in their direction. And after a few more minutes of studying the surrounding landscape, without being able to locate the source of her unease, Maya shirked it off as nothing more than nerves, and returned her attention to the encroaching village ahead.
In just a matter of minutes they found themselves on the edge of town, staring down a narrow road banked by small stores and shops. Without hesitation, they pushed forward, quickly snagging the attention of every Full-blood and Terrian in town. While they did move off the street, clearing a path for them to travel, no one ran away and hid like Maya had expected. Instead, they stood lining both sides of the road, watching as they passed with unyielding stares. And in only a matter of minutes the entire town had ground to a standstill; with every resident watching the pair as they continued by. It was an intimidating and nerve-wracking sight, which caused Maya to quicken her pace so that she was walking in unison with Jarod.
Feeling more comfortable now that she was closer to the massive figure, Maya began studying the line of down trodden faces watching them with wide eyes. She had never known just how lucky she, and the other Full-bloods living in the city, had been until this moment. These people were filthy and malnourished. Many looked so bad, Maya was sure it would take nothing more than a strong breeze to knock them right off their bony legs. But more than that, it was the look in their eyes, the complete exhaustion and utter hopelessness that stared back at her, that wrenched Maya’s heart inside her chest.
Linked (The Shadow Chronicles Book 2) Page 22
