I continue to massage my clit as I feel the tip of him, warm and slippery, pressing against my ass. I begin inhaling and exhaling deeply, tilting my head back as his hand cups my face and pulls my mouth towards his.
The second I feel his tongue slip between my lips and begin fucking my mouth with the most delicious and perfect rhythm, I find my body becoming in sync with his. Gently, I rock my hips, as does he, and little by little, he slips inside of me.
He’s only halfway in when my head starts spinning and my screams fill the room. The most intense orgasm tears through my body, making every single inch of me tingle as a rush of euphoria washes over me.
I smile against his lips as a high I crave every time I’m with him consumes my mind and body, making me feel as if I’m floating.
As I come down from my orgasm, Lawson picks up his pace. We spend the next twenty minutes with me screaming out his name and feeling, with each orgasm, my body float farther and farther into oblivion, with no desire to return to the real world anytime soon.
Finally, as his hands massage my breasts and roll my nipples between his thumb and finger, as his mouth continues to explore and sample every inch of my body within mouth’s reach, we climax together. Our voices blend together as one as we cling onto one another with such desperation it’s as if we’re afraid if we loosen our grasp, even a little, we’ll slip through one another’s hands.
As our orgasms fade, we collapse onto the bed in a daze, feeling sated and spent from the most amazing sex ever.
After a few moments, Lawson presses a kiss to my shoulder, whispering, “I love the hell out of you, Emelyn. More and more every single day,” before slowly and cautiously pulling out of me. It stings slightly, but not too badly as his now softened erection leaves my body.
I roll onto my back and smile up at him as he climbs off of the bed and gets to work pulling the condom off and knotting it.
“I love how much you love me. I keep waiting to wake up and discover this has all been one crazy dream. But then, every morning, I wake up and see a sweet text from you, or wake up beside you in bed…and I know for a fact this is real. I have the man I was born to spend forever with back.”
Bending over the bed, he cups my face and beams down at me with a heart-melting smile and graces me with one more toe curling kiss. As he pulls away from my lips, he says, “So do I, baby. I know I don’t deserve your forgiveness or your love, but somehow I became the luckiest man in the world, because you gave me your heart again, even after everything that’s happened between us in the past.”
I lay in bed with a big goofy grin plastered across my face as I watch his fine ass strut around my bed and towards the bathroom. My eyes slowly roam over his body, taking in every inch of him. I didn’t think it was possible, but I feel like he’s even sexier now than he was four years ago. It’s as if he only gets hotter with every year that goes by.
He lets out the sexiest chuckle as he glances over his shoulder and catches me gawking at his body before disappearing into the bathroom.
The second I watch him disappear into the bathroom, an ice-cold panic hits me like a bucket of snow.
“Lawson!” I shout his name as I scramble out of bed and try to get into the bathroom to distract him before he notices the trashcan beside the toilet. I was in such a daze earlier when Delilah was here that I threw the box into the trashcan and put the test inside my medicine cabinet.
As my feet hit the cool tile floor, they freeze in place as my body suddenly collides with Lawson’s large, broad chest.
“Oomph,” I grunt out as I bring my hands up to his chest to steady myself.
Holding my breath, I force my head to tilt up and look at his face. I’m praying over and over that he doesn’t have the box…and my face falls as my eyes meet his. They have a look of confusion mixed with…possibly terror. And beside his face is his right hand holding up the empty box.
“Care to explain to me why this is in your bathroom?” he asks as he follows my retreating body as I back out of the bathroom. My legs hit the mattress and my butt lands on the bed as I drop down to sit.
“Well, funny story…”
Cocking an eyebrow towards the ceiling, he folds his arms across his chest. “I doubt I’ll be laughing at the end of this ‘story’, but please, do tell…” His voice trails off as he sits down on the bed beside me.
I try to ignore the fact we’re sitting on my bed, both completely buck-ass naked, and decide to just spit it out as quickly as possible and let him do as he will with the news.
“I’m late. So Delilah insisted on buying a test today…and well, I took it before you got here and it was positive. In about eight months or so, we’ll be the proud parents of, as Delilah says, her niece or nephew.”
His mouth falls open and then slams back shut. It does this a few times as I stare up at him, waiting for his reaction.
Bringing his hands to his face, he rubs at his eyes before looking back down at me again. He tilts his head to the side slightly and brings his hand up to my bare stomach. His touch is warm as his strong hands, rough from working in a garage, rub my belly. Butterflies invade it as his fingers sprawl out, covering every inch of my front.
The heat radiating out of his hand warms my body to the core and causes me to immediately relax as I watch the corners of his lips twitch into a small smile.
“A baby. Holy shit, Em. This is crazy.”
His eyes are wide with wonder and love as he beams down at me before bringing his attention back to where his hand is resting.
“I know. I had a panic attack and fainted earlier, so at least I can say you’re handling this a lot better than I did, and far better than I expected you would.”
A deep chuckle fills the room as I watch his chest rise and fall and his tongue dart out to wet his lips. “Believe me. I look cool, calm, and collected on the outside—but on the inside, there’s a tsunami going on. This is a lot to take in. Especially when I feel slightly drunk after that hot fuck we just had.”
This time, it’s me who’s laughing.
Only Lawson could talk about a hot fuck and having a baby in the same breath. But I guess it takes one to get the other, so it’s okay, considering the circumstances.
“Is it safe to say you’re happy about this?” I ask quietly as I bring my hands to rest over his.
His eyes lock on our hands and they don’t move as he speaks. “I know it’s unplanned, and we are still trying to work on things—but I can truly say with one hundred percent honesty, yes.” Lifting his eyes to mine and running his free hand lovingly through my hair, he continues, “I am very happy, Emelyn. I’ve dreamt about having babies with you since the day I met you. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t scared shitless right now and really wish I didn’t choose this week to decide to quit smoking for good, but I think planned or unplanned, that feeling is completely normal for both Mom and Dad. I think after it really sinks in and we see him or her for the first time, all those fears will disappear and change to nothing but love and excitement.”
Shifting, I climb up onto the bed, coming to rest on a mountain of pillows, and watch as Lawson does the same. We don’t speak for a few minutes as we just lie in bed together under the blankets, wrapped in each other’s arms. Every once in a while, Lawson’s hand finds my belly and gives it a gentle rub before pulling me back tightly against his chest. As I feel my body drifting off to sleep, Lawson’s voice pulls me out of my daze, “Emelyn?”
“Mm-hm?” I hum in response as I feel sleep fighting harder and harder to take over my body.
His fingers are running up and down my spine, soothing me further, making it hard to keep my eyes open.
“Are you happy about the baby?”
I don’t answer at first. I let the question bounce around my head as I reflect on all the emotions I went through today. Finally, I lift my head slightly to look up at him as I answer. I snuggle farther into his chest, rubbing my fingers through his light chest hair as I speak. “I am. I’m seriou
sly freaking out, which is a lot harder to deal with, but when I look past all the normal fears I have about parenthood, I know deep down I already love this baby with my entire heart, because it’s a part of me and you. Because of that, it’s simply impossible to not be excited to meet him or her when the time finally comes.”
Satisfied with my answer, he murmurs into my hair to go to sleep, before closing his own eyes and willing sleep to take him too. What started out as a complete disaster of a day is now ending as the beginning to a new life for Lawson and me.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
Seven Months Later
February 13th 2014
I’m thirty-five weeks today!
Lawson and I are just leaving my appointment and heading to Coffee & Books to meet with Delilah and Grayson for lunch, so we can tell them about how it went.
The baby has been measuring on the small side, so they had me come in for a stress test and another ultrasound, which I’ve been doing now every two weeks for the last month or so. Its nerve-wracking, but Lawson has been so amazing. I never in a million years could’ve predicted how loving and attentive he would be while I was pregnant.
The last seven months have been a challenge. One thing that has yet to happen that I’ve been waiting for is Lawson finally popping the question. I know we’ve only been back together less than a year, but we have a baby on the way. I was really hoping we’d be married before he or she arrives.
Delilah thinks he’s going to ask me to marry him this weekend, but I told her Valentine’s Day proposals are too cliché. There’s no way he’ll do it then. After hearing me speak the words out loud, she agreed. I told him I feel like he’s trying to not rush me into anything I’m not ready for, but I’m ready to be his wife.
Sure, things aren’t always perfect. But no relationship is. Between my insecurities from our issues in the past to me dealing with new insecurities thanks to my ever-changing body, it has been hard not allowing the demons from our past creep their way into our present, attempting to destroy our future. But I’m trying really, really hard to get back what we once had together, and this time build an even stronger and more loving relationship that will withstand anything thrown our way.
Lawson travels a lot, since he has shops in California, Virginia, and Texas in addition to the one he has here in Alabama. But he is always amazing while he’s away. He texts me and we FaceTime, which helps me with my anxiety. I’d be lying if I said we are perfect and I never get jealous.
The reality of it is when he goes out with his friends back in Tuscaloosa, a small part of me gets anxious. I mean, come on! I feel like a beached whale that wobbles everywhere she goes. There’s beautiful women always flirting with him—which is a given, seeing as he’s insanely gorgeous. But we’re getting through it. He has worked really hard over the last nine months so we’d reconnect and rebuild the trust we had, and I believe in my heart that he will never do anything to jeopardize our happiness ever again.
We hit rock bottom all those years ago and lived through a hell that no person should ever go through. Those years of struggling and all that pain have taught us to appreciate each day we have, and especially cherish our time together.
There’s still one issue between us that has been a big one. Lawson’s life and career is in Tuscaloosa. Mine is here in Lincoln. A small part of me thinks this is the one major reason why he hasn’t proposed to me yet. I think he’s waiting for us to be officially settled into our forever home, where we’ll raise our kids together before he finally asks me.
One thing that man is, is stubborn as a mule.
Sure, I could get a job anywhere, seeing as my nursing degree can be used anywhere in the United States. But my family and my best friend are here.
This town has been my home since I was eight years old. This is where I go to church on Sundays, where I get my daily cup of coffee with my best friend. Most of all, this is where I envision raising my children. The thought of moving away makes me get all hormonal and ends with me crying.
I feel awful, because I see Lawson’s point of view too. He runs a business—a successful one at that—which brings in a lot of money. Like, numbers I never could’ve imagined and still freak me out when I log into our now joint bank account. So I understand his reasoning for wanting to live there. Because, really, who wants to drive over an hour to work every single morning, Monday through Friday?
It is so stressful.
Life was so much easier when we were goofy teenagers in love, planning our lives together, because you could dream as big as you wanted, but you knew you weren’t going to have to make a decision right then and there about what you were going to do with your life.
Lawson even suggested I stop working and raise our baby at home, but I love my job and love the people I work with. The thought of walking away from it breaks my heart.
Thankfully, we have a few more weeks to go before he or she is here, because we need to figure this out sooner rather than later. We don’t even have a nursery ready yet! We plan on having a baby shower after the baby is born to celebrate his or her arrival, since Lawson already started buying everything major that we need. They’re all stacked in boxes in my old bedroom at my parents’ at the moment until we officially decide where we’ll bring the baby home to.
My condo is not an option, since it’s only a one bedroom. So I told Lawson we need to figure out what we’re going to do soon. He keeps bringing up buying a home, but all the houses he’s looked at are, of course, in Tuscaloosa.
It may just drive me insane.
Lawson parks in front of the coffee shop and hurries around the car to open my door for me. He flashes me his melt-my-heart smile as he takes my hand and helps me out. Shutting the door, he turns and laces his hand with mine and walks beside me into the coffee shop. The second the bell chimes, alerting everyone there are new customers, a sea of friendly and familiar faces turn our way. Some greet us with only warm smiles, while others greet us with “Good afternoon” and “How’s the baby doing?”
After making small talk with a few people, we finally make it to our designated table by the large floor-to-ceiling window, where Delilah and Grayson are waiting for us.
“Hey, guys! So, how’s my little niece or nephew doing today?” Delilah asks as we scoot into our seats beside them.
I shift a few times on the chair, trying to get comfortable. My back has officially shifted into the constantly-aching stage. It’s almost impossible to ever be comfortable now.
“Baby is doing good. Still measuring on the small side, but everything else is perfect. We got more pictures.”
Lawson is grinning ear-to-ear as I pull the roll of photos out of my purse.
“So what are your plans for the rest of the day?” I ask Delilah as I watch Grayson and Lawson make their way up to the counter for more coffees and to order lunch.
Leaning onto her forearms, she drops her voice down to a whisper, all the while having the biggest all-teeth smile spread across her face. “We’re going away for the weekend to Grayson’s family’s cabin in the Smokey Mountains for Valentine’s Day! We leave tomorrow and are going to spend three full days doing nothing but enjoy being away in a romantic cabin together. I have the cutest Valentine’s Day gift for him, so I can—you know—tell him we’re going to have a baby.”
Squealing quietly as I try to silently celebrate with her and not draw attention our way, I take her hand and squeeze it while mouthing, “Oh, my God!” to her from across the table.
Before I can get any more info out of her though, Lawson and Grayson reappear at the table baring coffees in hand.
“Our food will be ready in about twenty minutes,” Lawson says, setting my cup down in front of me and pressing a kiss to the top of my head.
I stare at my coffee and then over to his. I find myself daydreaming for a few seconds about stealing his cup and drinking every last drop. But instead, I behave myself and turn my attention back to my own cup.
Ohh, yum…decaf—said n
o one. Ever.
This seriously sucks.
I have one caffeinated cup a day, when I first wake up. After that, I’m all, “Water, milk, or decaf coffee please.” It’s pure torture. These next five weeks cannot fly by fast enough.
Grayson and Delilah have been trying for eight very long months to get pregnant. I hated seeing her heart broken every month when she’d learn they weren’t pregnant. Each month, she got her hopes up, only to be let down again. Finally, last month, she pulled a ‘me’ and texted me, demanding I come straight to her house after work. When I got there, she had a stack of pregnancy tests sitting on her bathroom sink. It only took one for us to know without a doubt she was pregnant. We both cried we were so excited and, of course, me being Miss Hormonal, it doesn’t take much to make me a blubbering mess.
Mine Would Be You Page 16
