He looked at me as he spoke. Heat came to my cheeks. What was he saying? My heart was having a nutty drumming session in my chest, and my lungs tried to breathe, but they didn’t work probably.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t know,” I whispered.
All along I’d thought that he was a stuck-up rich boy, but he’d faced just as much crap as we had. He’d chosen to let it change him for good, instead of bad. He’d been brave enough to actually get off his arse and think good stuff about the world. He’d chosen not to judge me cos I’d gone the other way.
Lifting his hand, he put it under my chin. I didn’t want to look at him, but he pulled my face up. His beautiful blue eyes were glittery in the sun as he smiled at me. It was one of those sexy smiles, where one corner of his lip went higher in his cheek. I had to admit my stomach was like strawberry jelly.
Leaning forward, he rested his forehead against mine. I didn’t pull away as our breath intertwined. The feeling was amazingly amazing. He kept his eyes open as our lips brushed together briefly. My eyes closed as he pulled away for a split second and then came back for more. The kiss deepened, and I couldn’t think no more.
Chapter Sixteen
“Scott and Natalie, sitting in a tree, K I S S I N G…” The singing echoed across the graveyard. We sat on a bench, not in a tree. I jumped back from Scott, recognising Jack’s voice.
“Shut up, will you,” I shouted.
I spun on the bench as Jack and Tiff walked through the cemetery towards us. Jack was on his bike, like always. He was obsessed with the thing.
“See, Jack, don’t you feel inspired by Tiffany? Why don’t you go to try-outs?”
Jack had always talked about doing something with his BMXing, but had never actually gone to try-outs.
“I can’t believe she’s done it. I mean…did she plug something in their ears before she sang?” He stopped in front of us, resting his foot on the ground to steady the bike. Tiff sat next to me and grabbed my hand, squeezing it hard and making a kissing face. I slapped her arm, the cheeky mare! I glanced at Scott, who ignored us as he spoke to Jack.
“I don’t know, mate, I’ve only ever ridden on my own, and this bike ain’t really any good,” Jack said as he puffed on a cigarette.
“You’re awesome at riding and you know it! What’s the worst that could happen? I’m signing up for an art course at college tomorrow.” I smiled at my friend.
Times were changing. I could feel it in my youthful bones.
“Oh, woopie do!” came a familiar voice from behind.
Tommy slowly approached us. He was unsteady on his feet. I hadn’t seen or spoken to him since he’d knifed me. I wasn’t about to sit there and let him ruin our day.
I was about to jump up when Scott took my hand. I looked at him as he smiled. Yeah, yeah, I had a choice not to react to the bastard.
“At least we’re doing something with our lives.” Tiffany stood and put her hands on her skinny hips.
Tommy walked straight up to her and sneered in her face. I was about to go to her rescue when Jack grabbed Tommy’s arm and yanked him away.
“Come on, mate, what you been up to?” he said, offering him a cigarette.
Tommy swayed as he took it. Looking around at us, he laughed. The tosser was off his head. I’d had it with him. Okay, so he might have had a rough time, but so had we all. Didn’t mean we were dicks to our own friends.
His gaze landed on my arm and a flash of something went through his eyes. He looked away and stared straight at Scott. Noticing our joined hands, he snarled.
“You shacked up with the goody-two-shoes? He replacing me, then?” He flicked the lighter a few times before managing to get it lit enough to light his cigarette.
“I could never replace you, mate,” Scott said, before I could tell Tommy to shove his cigarette up his cruel arse and smoke it there.
“Trying to, though, I can tell. We used to be a family, you know? We were solid. We were one. Not any more, though. Not since you got involved. It’s like everyone thinks that life is all fine and bloody dandy, but that ain’t reality. We came from nothing, and we ain’t got a hope of going anywhere. When you lot remember that, you’ll come running back to me.” Tommy gestured with his cigarette.
He stumbled as he gave us his sermon. It was fitting in a place like the graveyard. I actually started to feel a tiny bit sorry for the lost lad. He was going nowhere, and he couldn’t see a way out of the nothingness he was in. I wanted to help him, but I knew that our time as a family had drawn its last breath of life. Sometimes you had to leave people behind. Not cos you didn’t care, but cos it was time for life to move on.
If you’re constantly karate chopping upstream, instead of row, row, rowing your boat downstream, you got stuck. I was sick of being stuck. It was time to leave Tommy to fight his own battles. He didn’t care about us no more. Not enough to change.
“Come on, guys, let’s go.” I stood up.
It was getting late and dark. The rest followed my lead as we walked away from a friendship that had gone sour.
“Wait, let me give you a lift,” Tommy called, running all over the place as he caught up and lead us out of the graveyard.
There was a beat up car parked on the pavement.
“Were did you get that from?” Jack asked Tommy as he glanced at me.
There were several bottles of vodka on the back seat. Two of them were empty.
“I stole it, Bruv,” Tommy laughed as he swayed over to the other side of the car. “Come on, where we going?”
“Tommy, we ain’t getting in the car. What’s the matter with you? Things have gone too far, and we ain’t playing this game no more,” I shouted.
My whole body shook like mad.
“Oh, too good for me, are you? Well, screw you, guys, I’m going home.” Tommy jumped into the driver’s seat and slammed the door.
“Don’t let him drive when he’s like that, he’ll hurt someone,” Tiff called, tugging on Scott’s arm.
Scott released me and opened the passenger door.
“Just leave him, will you.” I tried to pull him away.
When Tommy started the car, Scott jumped in with him.
“Don’t worry, I’m going to stop him.”
As he spoke, he pulled the door closed and winked at me. The smile he gave me made my tummy flip-flop, which annoyed me, considering the situation.
“Scott, seriously-” My sentence was cut off as Tommy started the car and sped off down the road.
We ran into the middle of the street and watched as the car veered all over the place. It just about dodged another car that beeped. A split second later, it veered straight into a massive tree on the side of the road. My hands covered my ears as the ringing of the crash resounded through my head. What the hell had happened?
Jack was already riding towards the car on his bike. Tiff squeezed my hand as she screamed.
I released my head and broke into a run. Smoke started to rise out of the front of the car. It took a minute to reach them, but when we got there, I went straight to the passenger’s side. Jack was pulling Tommy free from the car.
My heart pounded against the inside of my ribs, trying to escape my chest. The front of the car had completely crumpled. When I got to the window, I cringed at the glass all over the floor.
Scott’s airbag hadn’t come out. He still sat in the seat. There was blood all over his face, coming from a massive gash in his forehead. Only a few short minutes before, that skin had been smooth and touching my own.
I tried to open the door, but it was jammed. The rest of the car had melded into it. Tears ran off my face as I pulled and pulled, but I couldn’t get the bloody door to open. I heard my name being whispered and looked at Scott. His beautiful blue eyes watched me. He smiled when our gaze met. Leaning in the window, I took his hand.
“Oh, Scott, thank God! Are you okay?” I couldn’t look away from him.
The love in his eyes was something I had never seen in my life.
“I love you, Natalie, you know that, don’t you?” he whispered, squeezing my hand tight.
I held on to him. I wanted to try and get him out, but he needed me by his side.
“Yeah, I sort of guessed. You’re my stalker, after all.” I laughed at the same time as crying, which was a mission in itself. He laughed before he coughed. I tried not to scream when blood leaked out of his mouth.
“Scott, oh, God.” I tried to pull away.
“Don’t leave me. Listen to me. It’s okay, Nat, I’m fine.”
“How can you say you’re fine?”
I didn’t know what to do. I wanted to get help, but I didn’t want to let him go.
“Just remember what I told you. You have the choice to change and be who you want to be. Look at things better, Babe. Your life’s going to be amazing.” He choked again.
What was he talking about? He couldn’t go anywhere. I’d only just found him.
“No, Scott, please don’t…I love you, too,” I cried.
I tried so hard not to let the tears flow, but I couldn’t stop them. I couldn’t be hard. I couldn’t hold in my emotion. The posh boy had shown me that I could live a great life, but now he was dying in front of me.
I lent further into the car and kissed him. It was a soft kiss, which he returned gently.
“Don’t worry about me, seriously, just make your life great,” he whispered.
I pulled away just as his eyes fluttered closed. I shook my head as his hand went limp in mine. It couldn’t be happening.
Screams escaped as I started to sob. Someone pulled me away from the car. The paramedics tried to get to him, but I knew it was too late. The only person that had ever shown me how to love, had just left me.
Chapter Seventeen
I walked through the door and sat in the stall, looking through the glass screen.
They wheeled him into the room. He had scars over his face, and his hands shook as they gripped the side of the chair. His previously alright looking face was a mess. I felt guilty at how pleased that made me.
They placed him in front of me and then went away. Picking up the phone, I gestured to his. He reached for it, but it took him a few goes to get it to his ear.
“Hello.” I looked straight into his sad eyes.
He couldn’t look at me. I wanted to break his fat neck. I wished it was him, instead of Scott, who had died.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered.
The hard-arsed boy fell apart in front of me, allowing a life time of major pain to come out.
“Really…? I don’t believe you, Tommy,” I spat. “You killed him.”
Tears ran down my cheeks, but I ignored them. Hopefully the bastard would see what he’d done to me.
“I fucked up, I know. I’m seriously sorry. I ain’t ever going to walk again. I deserve it, I know, but still…” Tommy stopped talking as the shaking overtook his body.
The guards rushed forward as he started to slip out of his wheelchair. I put my hand over my mouth as I watched the suffering of the boy I had once loved like a brother. The fits had started after the accident. I closed my eyes as they got him on the floor and into the recovery position. When they asked me to leave the hospital wing, I hesitated before doing as I was told.
Tommy was going to be inside for a long time, but that was the path he’d chosen. He was lucky that he was on the other side of the glass. I would’ve been tempted to kick his arse when he was down.
As I watched him pass out on the floor, I knew that Scott had come into my life to show me that there was another way.
Tommy had chosen to act like a prick. The life he now looked forward to made me shake my head in disgust. He got everything he deserved for killing my boyfriend.
I left the prison and started to walk. I had no idea where I was going, but I needed to clear my jumbled head. Taking deep breaths, I calmed the fire that threatened to make me kill someone.
Jumping onto the bus, I looked out of the window, not seeing London as it passed by. When I got off, I found myself outside the graveyard. My feet took me through the gate and to the resting place of my soulmate. I would never forget how he made me feel. Everything that I did in life was going to be for him.
Life was still unfair, though. Why had they taken him from me? Look at life better, he’d said, but how could I do that? I constantly wanted to kill someone. I wanted to try and get rid of the pain in my still beating heart. I looked down at the fresh earth that covered the man that had tried to get me away from the bastard that had killed him. I knelt on the ground as the tears sky dived off the end of my nose.
“What the bloody hell do I do now?” I whispered to him.
My phone burst out in music. I grabbed it out of my pocket. It was my mother, probably checking to see if I was okay. She’d surprised me with how much she’d been there for me through my loss.
I pressed ignore. The screen saver popped up as her name flashed away. I shook my head at the picture Scott had drawn me. I had taken a photo of it the day before he’d died. He had drawn four words in bright red pen and placed a heart at the end. The four words would stay with me for the rest of my life:
You have a choice.
*
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Authors Note
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Dear Reader,
Thank you so much for taking the time to read Love My Crazy. Did you relate to Natalie’s story? If so, get in contact to let me know!
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Rachel Medhurst
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Copyright
Copyright © 2016 by Rachel Medhurst
All rights reserved. This book or any portion thereof may not be reproduced or used in any manner whatsoever without the express written permission of the publisher except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.
Published in 2016
Author
Rachel Medhurst grew up in Surrey, England. She writes to prove that no matter where you come from, you can be anything you want to be. Your past may shape you but it doesn’t define you. When Rachel isn’t writing, she can be found reading and walking in nature.
www.rachelmedhurst.com
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