“He does,” Jackson said. “I’m a dumb guy, but I know that much.”
“You have the chance to spend a few weeks with him,” Maggie said. “Get to know him. Show him the real you. You never know what could happen.”
“I’m not in the same space I was four days ago,” Lisa said.
“Then you’ll have a friend to keep you company,” Maggie said.
Pepper patted her knee. “The truth is, honey, you’re about this close to needing a bodyguard for real. Raven’s going to make you a household name. Rafael’s a pro. He’ll keep you safe this trip and help us find someone for you going forward.”
“I feel like a damsel in distress,” Lisa said. “I’m not strong like you two.”
“This has nothing to do with strength.” Jackson stroked his chin like an actor playing a doctor on television. Only he is a doctor, and this is real life. “And everything to do with witnessing innocent people being gunned down all around you.”
“It doesn’t mean you’re weak just because you need a little help,” Maggie said.
Lisa sucked in a long breath before answering. “Fine. Tell them yes.”
The next day, Lisa was packing when her cell phone rang. Mom.
“Honey, it’s your mom. How are you?”
“I’m okay.”
Mom hissed an audible sigh that came through loud and clear from Iowa to California. “We can’t come out for the premiere.”
“I know.” I didn’t ask you to.
“We’d love to. Of course we would, but it’s a terrible time. David needs us to look after the kids. His wife’s increasingly busy doing God knows what. He didn’t say but I think she’s out of town on another one of those ‘girls’ trips.’ Back in my day, we didn’t have the need to traipse off with a gaggle of neurotic women and a trunkful of wine every time there’s a full moon. The children have to be my priority right now.” Her mother, the martyr. Lois Perry had perfected the role of martyr meets disapproving mother-in-law by delivering each word with the same flat, Midwestern note.
“Mom, I understand. It’s fine.” David always has been and always will be the priority. A mass shooting shouldn’t change that.
“I’m worried about you, though. Will Maggie and Pepper be able to attend?”
“Not this time. We’re all busy,” Lisa said. “But my friends have arranged for the Mullens’ bodyguard to come with me. He’ll keep me company and make me feel safe.”
“You hired a bodyguard?”
“Yes, a bodyguard,” Lisa said.
Lisa waited. It would come, given a few seconds.
“A bodyguard?”
“That’s correct,” Lisa said.
“That does not sound like the actions of a well woman.” Mommy Martyr now spoke in a slightly higher pitch. “You should cancel the entire trip and come home for a rest.” There she was—the concerned mother of a fragile girl with mental health issues.
“I can’t. I’m under contract.”
“Contract? To go to parties?” A dash of incredulous and several tablespoons of sarcasm conveyed her mother’s disdain of Hollywood.
“It’s part of the promotional agreement. When you agree to do a film, this is part of the—”
Her mother interrupted. “Your father’s beside himself. He feels helpless.”
That seemed unlikely. Did he even know she was in a movie? Had Mom told him about the shooting when he came in from his workshop for a sandwich? Now that he was retired, he rarely stepped out of his shop. He made items out of wood in there, day after day. The last one had been a dollhouse for Laine.
Mom charged onward, her speech rapid now. “We don’t understand anything about this world you’ve been sucked into. Have you been attending church out there?” Out there sounded like an expletive.
“Yes, Maggie and I go every Sunday.” Not every Sunday, but close enough.
“Honey, I’m your mother. I know you. You’re not a strong person. All this attention coupled with the tragedy could send you spiraling into the bad place. Do you remember what it was like before the meds?”
“Yes, I remember.” The psych ward at the hospital had smelled of antiseptic and despair. Ironically, it had been the first place she’d felt she’d belonged. The staff understood her. They knew what to do to help her.
“A few years ago, you were home, having given up all this acting nonsense, and now I can’t pick up a magazine without seeing something about you or that show or the movie. It’s too much too fast.”
The muscles in her stomach knotted. She hunched over as she answered. “I’m hardly an overnight success. I’ve been working at this for thirteen years.”
“It’s nice you’ve finally found some acting work, but I’m afraid you can’t handle it. In New York, Maggie and Pepper always took care of you. Now you’re all alone and your world’s exploding and at the same time you’re dealing with the trauma of the concert. Even a mentally stable person would find that overwhelming. That’s all I’m saying.”
“That’s all I’m saying.” That’s quite a lot to say.
“Acting was the thing that got me out of the depression,” Lisa said. “Have you forgotten that part?”
“That and some good drugs.”
Lisa took in a deep breath and attempted to keep her voice steady, but the tears crept in anyway. “Mom, I’m handling everything. Don’t worry about it. I have a whole team of people out here looking out for me.”
“Strangers. People who only want a piece of you now that you’re rich and famous. You don’t know these people. They’re not Maggie and Pepper.”
“I know that, Mom. But the girls are just a phone call away. They’ve never let me down.”
“That is not the same as being home with me.”
“Listen, I need to go. I have to pack and get ready.”
“Call me in the morning.”
“Sure. Goodbye, Mom.”
Not a strong person.
Lisa stood over Lily’s crib and breathed in the sweet scent of baby powder. Dressed in a onesie scattered with hearts, Lily slept with her arms flung over her head. A pink flush graced her chubby cheeks. The mobile that hung over the bed swayed in the breeze from the ceiling fan and cast shadows over the sleeping baby. Occasionally, one note escaped from the music box inside the farm animal mobile.
It had been a gift from Lisa when Lily was first born. Over the last few weeks when she kissed Lily good-night, they named each animal and what sound they made. Lily loved the black-and-white cow the best. Lisa loved the way Lily’s rosebud mouth puckered when she imitated a cow’s moo.
“Don’t grow up too much while we’re apart,” Lisa whispered. “I’ll see you soon.”
Please, God, keep her safe while they’re traveling.
She didn’t dare kiss her for fear of waking Lily. Maggie would not appreciate an interrupted nap. She tiptoed from the nursery and ambled down the hall. Family photos hung on the wall: Lily’s namesake, Jackson’s mother, when she was a young woman; Jackson and Maggie at their wedding; a newborn Lily; a photo of Jackson and Maggie with their group of friends at Zane and Honor’s wedding.
She stopped at a photo of herself with Maggie and Pepper at their college graduation. How young they looked. How naive.
I have to go.
She wished she could stay in this house that smelled of baby and bacon and love.
Lisa gave herself stern directions.
Today you have to be a grown-up. Prove Mom wrong. You are strong.
Back in her room, she rolled both of her suitcases into the hallway and stuffed her phone into her oversize purse. She took a quick look at herself in the full-length mirror. Dressed in a loose sundress and wedge sandals, she would be comfortable in the car and on the airplane. Her hair hung in loose waves at shoulder level. She swiped a lipstick across her mouth and adjusted the straps on her sundress.
Maggie tapped on the door to let her know Rafael had arrived.
“I’m ready,” Lisa said. I’m not read
y.
“Great.” Maggie flashed her gentle smile. “You’re going to be all right. I know you will be. Think of everything we’ve been through. You’re tough as nails under that pretty face.”
They embraced. Lisa lingered a few seconds, taking in the familiar scent of her friend’s perfume. “I’ll meet you back here in a month,” Maggie whispered.
Lisa withdrew and looked into her friend’s eyes. “When I think of all the years you spent writing the songs that the world will now know, it’s impossible to capture the depth of my pride and admiration.”
“Stop. You’re going to make me cry,” Maggie said. “And I just put on my mascara.”
“You’ll be careful, right?” Lisa asked. “Stay alert. Watchful.”
“Jackson was born alert,” Maggie said. “He has the worry gene like you.”
“It’s always the stuff you don’t worry about that gets you,” Lisa said.
Maggie’s brows came together in a worried frown. “Try not to worry and just enjoy people celebrating your craft and talent.”
“I’ll try.” Her voice cracked, betraying her.
“Do you remember what we said when we started on this journey? Art matters.”
Lisa nodded. “It’s a reflection of the human condition.”
“Without it we have no way to frame our experiences. Art helps us understand ourselves and those around us.”
“And express our deepest emotions,” Lisa said, finishing their mantra.
Maggie gave her one more hug before letting her go. “You have to go now, or you’ll be late for the plane. Rafael will keep a close watch on you.” She stepped toward the door.
“I feel weird about Rafael,” Lisa said. “Like really high-maintenance.”
“You’re not high-maintenance. You’ve never been.”
Lisa continued to stall. “I never thought through this part. It was always about the work, not fame.”
“I know,” Maggie said. “But this is part of the whole picture. You’ll do what they want you to do and then you can come back here and recharge.”
Pepper appeared in the doorway. “Hot Bodyguard is waiting.”
Lisa strode over to the bedside table and retrieved her e-book reader. “Almost forgot this.”
Pepper drifted about the room, restless as a cat during a full moon. She darted over to the dresser and moved a vase two inches to the left.
“Pepper, come give Lisa a hug,” Maggie said.
Pepper fanned her face with her hands as her dark eyes filled with tears. “I can’t do this. Not again. I can’t say goodbye.”
“It’s not forever,” Lisa said. “We’ll be back here soon in our new apartment.”
Pepper grabbed her in a python-like grip. “If we’d lost you, I don’t know what I would’ve done. I should’ve been with you. Then you wouldn’t be going through this alone.”
“I’m not alone. You guys are here.” Lisa shook loose to look into Pepper’s eyes. “I’ve been thanking God every second since it happened that you weren’t there.” She took both of her hands. “You would’ve been right next to me. It could have been you that was hit.”
Pepper placed her cool fingertips on the sides of Lisa’s face. “You call us if you need anything, okay?”
“I always do,” Lisa said.
“And whatever you do, don’t sleep with the bodyguard on the first night,” Pepper said.
Lisa rolled her eyes. “That’s the last thing I need.”
“Sleeping with the bodyguard isn’t usually a good idea,” Maggie said. “But in this case, I think an exception could be made.”
“Just be careful. You do not need another jackass screwing around with your head,” Pepper said. “I should know.”
“Why do you say he’s a jackass?” Maggie asked. “Kara thinks a lot of him, and she’s a good judge of character.”
“They’re all jackasses,” Pepper said. “Except for Jackson. But the guys we like? They’re always jerks in the end.”
“She has a point.” Lisa smiled as they fell into their familiar riffs.
Pepper scampered over to the window and pulled back the curtain. “There he is. All good-looking and full of himself. Keep your guard up.”
“Pepper, you don’t know anything about him,” Maggie said. “He’s an American hero.”
“Don’t you say that to me.” Pepper’s gaze darted around the room as if she were following a fast-moving insect. “Just because he wore a uniform does not mean he’s a good guy.”
“I know that,” Maggie said. “But it doesn’t mean he’s a bad guy. Kyle’s brother either, for that matter.”
“What does that pompous ass have to do with anything?” Pepper clenched her teeth together and growled deep in her throat. Lisa almost laughed at the sound. “Stone Hickman…is…is…the worst of all of them.”
“Pepper, honestly, you’re acting irrationally.” Maggie tugged her long braid over one shoulder and held it between her thumb and index finger like a whip.
“Let’s not fight,” Lisa said. “I have to go.”
“No, we’ve been tiptoeing around this for a year,” Maggie said. “I can tell Stone has it bad for you. Do you know how many times he’s asked about you? What’s your problem? You were immediately drawn to him—to a nice guy for once instead of the idiots you usually choose.”
“Stone Hickman is another testosterone-driven, violent marine,” Pepper said. “He hides it well, but that’s all he is. They’re all the same. The minute he had any one of us alone, we’d have no chance.”
“You need help,” Maggie said.
“What did you say?” Pepper asked.
Maggie dropped her braid. She placed her hands on her hips and spread her feet shoulder-width apart in the fighting stance of a kid on the playground. “You need professional help. This has gone on long enough. You’ve never dealt with what happened to you, and until you do, you’re never going to get over it, which means you’ll never have a successful relationship with a man.”
Pepper’s shoulders rose several inches before she went completely still. Only her hair moved from the air that flowed from the ceiling vent, until she spoke through clenched teeth. “You take that back.”
“I will not.” Maggie crossed her arms over her chest and glared right back at her.
The muscles in Lisa’s stomach constricted. Smooth this over. Think of something to say. Get them off this track. The three of them didn’t fight. Maggie didn’t push like this. Pepper never went completely still. “This is silly. If you don’t like him, that’s fine.” Lisa looked from one to the other. “Please, don’t fight.”
“That’s exactly the opposite of what’s going on here.” Maggie had turned pale under her freckles. “I saw you at the party the other night. Your eyes followed him everywhere he went.”
“That’s a lie.” Pepper’s shout reverberated against the walls.
Lisa jumped. Her heart beat faster. “You’ll wake the baby,” she whispered.
“Maggie Keene, you don’t know every single thing in the world,” Pepper said.
“I know you have daddy issues, and I know you’ve never dealt with the night on the subway,” Maggie said.
“My dad is Dack. End of story,” Pepper said. “My bio dad is dead to me.”
“Come on, let’s be real.” Maggie’s voice softened. “What your dad did, the rejection—it influences everything you do. Don’t you think I know? Look at my dad. Look at what he did to me and Jackson, not to mention Zane and Sophie. I get it.”
Maggie’s father had kept terrible secrets from her, including the existence of her half sister, Sophie. She and Zane, although close childhood friends, had never known that her mother and his father had an affair that produced Sophie. They’d discovered the truth only a few years ago. Sophie had been adopted by Micky and Rhona Woods. Wonderful people, as far as Lisa could see. But still, Maggie’s father had deprived them all of years together.
Pepper’s shoulders dropped from where they’d
hovered just below her ears. “What good would come from seeing someone? It won’t change the past.”
Lisa moved closer to Pepper. “No, but it might change you.”
“We want you to be happy,” Maggie said.
“It’s complicated, you know, being happy,” Pepper said. “Both of you are in the big leagues now, and I’m going to film some awful horror movie.”
Lisa stared at her. Was she jealous? Feeling left behind? “You’ve never said anything about that.”
Pepper buried her face in her hands for a second before looking back at them. “I’m ashamed I feel this way. I am. But I feel alone for the first time since I met you girls. You’ve been my sisters, and now you’re leaving me. People change when they get famous. We’ve seen it before.”
“But not us,” Maggie said. “Our friendship goes beyond all that stuff. What have we always said? If it happens for one of us, we’ll bring the others along.”
“That was just naive talk,” Pepper said. “Stuff like that doesn’t happen in real life.”
“It does for us,” Lisa said. “I’ll make it happen.” For the first time since the concert, she remembered that her purpose was bigger than just herself. She had to be a success these next few weeks so she could help Pepper. She needed power or money or both. Once she had them, Pepper would get the break she needed.
Lisa brushed Pepper’s hair away from her forehead. “Let me tell you something. I’m going to go kick butt. When I come home we’re going to line up some projects to do together. We’ll be like Tina Fey and Amy Poehler.”
Maggie beamed at her. “See there? This is just the beginning.”
“Now make up, because I have to go,” Lisa said.
Pepper held out her arms, and she and Maggie embraced.
“I’m sorry if I pushed too hard,” Maggie said.
“No, everything you said is true,” Pepper said. “I just don’t want to deal with any of it.”
“I’m always here if you want to talk,” Maggie said.
Missed: Rafael and Lisa (Cliffside Bay Book 6) Page 7
