“Engaged in the commission of an illegal forced marriage against you both?” James Cary suggested.
Daisy frowned. “Yes, that.”
“You know,” James pointed out, “you should have told me this happened, Colin. I would have looked into it for you. There was no need for such drama.”
Colin shrugged. “We decided to go along with it. My wife and I… we may not have chosen to wed how and when we did, but… we have no regrets.”
“None except that we're not married at all. Right Reverend Cary, what can we do? I believed our marriage was legal so long as we didn't protest it. Grounds for annulment is not a requirement to annul, correct? I mean, we're not related to one another. The marriage being forced meant we could protest it, not that we must?”
The bishop nodded.
“So, we've been living as husband and wife for half a year because we decided we wanted to. We thought it was legal so long as neither of us objected.”
“Yes, I understand the problem. I believe, under the circumstances, no one would blame you.”
“They'd gossip enough,” Daisy muttered.
“It's lucky then that you two are not often among high society enough to hear it. Listen, there's nothing I can do about that particular aspect except to say—to anyone who might ask—that you acted in good faith, not realizing your clergyman had lost his wits and failed to file your paperwork properly. The question is, children, what you want to do now.”
Daisy looked at Colin, biting her lip. This is his chance. He may have made peace with our union, given that I gave him no choice, but the fact remains that this is not what he wanted or planned. He could walk away and face nothing worse than a scowl. Meanwhile, my reputation will never recover.
Colin stared at her face with an unreadable expression for a long, long moment and then turned back to the bishop. “While I have appreciated my marriage, more than I expected to…”
He paused, and Daisy's heart began to pound.
“The wedding itself was a frightening and unpleasant event, and what followed in the last half-year was nightmarish. I would like, if my wife should agree, to start over. Would you be willing to provide a special license? I'd like to marry Daisy, but because it's what we've chosen. What we want. No force. No gun. No crackpot minister messing about with the paperwork. I would like a proper wedding, at a church, with my friend officiating…” He turned to Cary. “Would you do that for us, James?”
“I'd be honored,” Cary replied, “and I promise to file the paperwork properly.”
Colin grinned.
“I'd like to invite my mother, stepfather and sisters. The elder and younger Bennetts. A wedding is a celebration, not a threat, and I'd like to create that memory this time around, surrounded by friends and loved ones.” He turned to Daisy. “What do you say, love? Shall we try again? The right way this time?”
Daisy bit her lip as a tear streaked down her cheek. Words battered against her throat but could not escape, so she simply nodded.
“Would you like to invite your sisters?”
She nodded again.
“I assume your father will not be on the guest list.”
A rusty laugh that had more than a hint of a sob about it escaped Daisy's chest.
“So, I'll take that as a no. Right Reverend Cary?”
“Why do you need a special license?” The bishop asked. “Read the banns. Do the whole thing properly?”
Colin raised one eyebrow. “I've been bedding this woman for half a year. Do you think I want to spend weeks or months apart while we wait? Besides, there's still the danger of her father and his idiot lapdog trying to intervene. We've undergone enough drama. I don't have any interest in inviting more.”
Understanding dawned on Bishop Cary's face. “I agree to this entire course of action, and I'll be happy to do my part, provided I may attend the ceremony?” He raised dark, bushy eyebrows at the couple.
“Not only are you invited, but I'll buy you a pint afterward,” Colin promised.
Daisy nodded again, squeezing Colin's hand.
Chapter 15
“What a lovely wedding,” a blond woman in her mid-thirties cooed happily. Her dress, though attractive, was crumpled under the knees of a tiny girl with golden hair, who clung to her hip.
“Thank you, ma'am,” Colin replied softly. Though he felt a bit overwhelmed, not only with having just completed the wedding they'd spent the last whirlwind week planning, organizing, sending telegrams and messengers… and sleeping apart from Daisy. He also felt the weight of his decision, of their vow, resting heavily on him. The weight was not one of pain or even discomfort but rather the solemn seriousness of the marriage vows. Thank God for Daisy. No one else could have suited me so well, slipped under all my stings and shields, and taken up residence in my heart. She's a gift from heaven.
The old melancholia tried to rise, tried to bring his sense of his own unworthiness up into his awareness, but Daisy's warm hand rested in his, and a broad smile spread across her face. Her radiant, joyous smile banished the shadows. They lurked there, not gone entirely, but greatly diminished in power. I have to watch out for them. They lie so badly. I cannot let them play a role in my thoughts anymore.
“Colin,” Daisy said, breaking into his ruminations, “this is my sister, Rose Miller, and her daughter, Violet. Her husband, Jim, is over there.” She gestured with their joined hands to a table where a tall, brooding man sat, clad in a wild, dandyish suit. “Jim is in shipping and imports.” She turned to her sister. “I'm so glad you could make it! If only Iris could have come too.”
“Your other sister?” Colin guessed.
Daisy nodded. “She lives in Scotland. It's too far to come on a whim.”
“I know she'll send you a lovely card,” Rose said. Turning to Colin, she added, “Iris is famous for her lovely, illustrated notes.”
Daisy smiled. “I can't wait it add it to my treasures box. Rose, this is my husband, Colin.”
“Pleased to meet you, sir,” she said, shifting her daughter so she could extend a hand.
“My lord,” Daisy corrected.
“I beg your pardon?”
“He's Colin Butler, Viscount Gelroy,” Daisy informed her sister.
Rose's blue eyes bugged out. She dropped into and off-balance curtsey.
Colin compressed his lips. “Love, was that really necessary?”
Daisy smirked.
“How on earth did you bag a Viscount?” Rose blurted. Her graceless comment drew several eyes their direction from all around the overcrowded parlor of the elder Bennetts' home. Colin also paused to admire the hasty but attractive decorations: two small tables with skirts housed luscious arrangements of ribbons and summer flowers. The open doors admitted a waft of breeze, unfortunately scented with stale London street.
A sideboard groaned under the weight of meats, cheeses, fresh fruit, bread and glasses of champagne, along with several bouquets of pink flowers in crystal vases.
The gas-lit chandelier also hung with ribbons and flowers, a cheerful, pink knot over the central table. Daisy and Colin stood near the door in an impromptu receiving line, waiting for everyone who'd been at the church in celebration of their nuptials to arrive and greet them.
“Bagged, Mrs. Miller?” Colin asked, raising one eyebrow and ignoring Daisy's squeeze on his hand. “We were ill-met by moonlight.”
Rose's face crumped in confusion.
“It's Shakespeare, Rose,” Daisy pointed out drily, “and it's not true.”
“Well, maybe not,” Colin admitted, “but you, Titania, are most assuredly my fairy queen.”
Daisy beamed. “Then you must be my lord,” she paraphrased.
“I see you met your true match then,” Rose said. “No one else could have as much Shakespeare memorized as you.” Nodding to Colin and giving her sister an uncomfortable, one-armed hug, she crossed the room to join her husband. He laid a hand on her back and scooped their daughter into his lap, his intense gaze affectionat
e as it fell on his family.
Colin, seeing no further guests were coming, urged Daisy to a seat, so the celebration of their wedding—their real, legal wedding—could begin.
Epilogue
“Come along, you two.” Beth Turner stepped through the open doors onto the balcony, where she found Colin and Daisy in a passionate embrace. The winter chill meant nothing to them, not when they had generated such heat with their passion. “I'm delighted to see how you've turned your marriage into something beautiful, but you can snuggle any time. Right now, Katerina has settled her babies and she's offering to play Christmas carols on the harpsichord so we can all sing.”
Daisy beamed. “That sounds lovely. Colin, shall we?”
Colin grinned. “One moment.” He tugged Daisy back into his arms and laid a lush, wet kiss on her lips, unworried about his mother's presence.
Daisy blushed but offered no protest as he escorted her back through the open door into the parlor.
“My goodness, son, you're looking well!” Beth Turner exclaimed. “Have things gone so very right then?”
“So much righter than I would have believed possible,” he replied. “The lambs and geese did wonderfully at market, and I've bred Pesadilla twice. He rather loves the ladies, silly horse. From my portion of the sales and from the stud fees, I have enough set aside for next year's taxes. We should have no trouble raising our payments as well. Though I'm down a man, we're managing. It will be so busy in the summer, though.”
“Your eyes are sparkling at the prospect,” his mother pointed out.
Colin just shrugged.
“I hope you're not too busy to hang some wallpaper this winter,” Mrs. Turner added. “So many of my friends have admired the work you did in the parlor of my home, they all want to talk to you about custom designs.”
Daisy beamed.
“Come on, you three!” Mrs. Bennett called from the other side of the room. “The babies won't sit with me forever, more's the pity, and I want to sing before they begin fussing for their mother.”
“ 'We will sing and bless this place,' ” Daisy murmured, quoting their favorite play once again as they made their way to the seating area.
Colin winked at her. “ 'Consecrate…and every chamber bless…with sweet peace.' ”
The elder Bennetts, their sons, daughters-in-law and children perched on settees and sofas around the room. Their guests, the entire Turner family and Christopher's friend Vicar James Cary, with his wife Eliza and their seven-year-old son Ralph had joined them.
Hanging swags of greenery adorned with red bows decorated the room. A huge kissing bough of mistletoe and ribbons hung from the ceiling. A bushy evergreen, daintily dressed in glowing candles released its spicy fragrance into the evening air.
Julia Bennett, the benevolent matriarch of her family, looked radiant with her upswept red hair and vibrant green dress. She sat enthroned on an embroidered armchair, and Katerina's twins, now eight months old with drooly grins and wild wisps of dark hair, smiled on her lap.
Their mother, beaming despite the heavy fatigue crumpling her face, ran her fingers lightly over the harpsichord keys, playing a lilting tune to set the mood.
Her tension eased and a look of tired peace spread across her features.
Christopher and their daughter Sophia sat together on the sofa, with his brother Devin beside them. His dark-haired, olive-skinned wife, Harita—nicknamed Harry—sprawled on a chaise with their baby, who was closer to a year old, cuddled against her. The child squirmed wildly. As Daisy watched, the young mother released her toddler, setting her on the floor, where she stood clinging to the furniture and stroking her hand over the soft fabric. Harry ruffled her daughter's hair and smiled.
Mrs. Turner dropped into a seat beside her husband on the sofa. Their three daughters sat beside them; a tight fit, but they drew close without rancor, despite the youngest driving a teasing elbow into her sister's ribs.
Colin drew Daisy to the last unoccupied loveseat, and they perched there, indiscreetly close. She leaned her head against his shoulder.
“What carol shall we start with?” Katerina asked.
“I like 'Good Christian Men Rejoice,' ” her husband suggested.
Katerina played a tricky prelude and then led into the hymn, starting the singing in her clear, sweet soprano. Christopher, his voice a husky, raspy bass, joined in, though most of his notes hit a bit south of expectations.
His brother joined in, more tuneful but higher, despite his towering size. His wife also sang, harmonizing in a minor key that Daisy had not expected. It sounded foreign and lovely. The three Turner girls joined in with practiced harmony, anchored by their parents who, while not professionals like Katerina, sounded good enough for the gathering.
Colin and Daisy also began to sing as well, and soon the entire room rang with music.
What a lovely family I've married into, Daisy reflected as one carol blended into another. Both my husband's blood relations and his friends, who in their own way are no less our kin. So much nicer than my brute of a father and his stupid friend. I'm actually… happy, and I never knew I wasn't before. Life feels so vibrant. So bright. I have a home. Meaningful work. Friends. Family. This is real life.
“Mother,” Colin whispered, leaning over the arm of the seat, “I have to say…”
She turned to face him, pausing in her singing.
“I'm most disappointed. That tea you told Daisy to drink… it's failed already.”
Mrs. Turner's eyebrows drew together. She looked confused for a moment, and then a stunned expression dropped her jaw and raised her eyes. “Do you mean… what? When?”
“I don't know when,” he whispered back, “but Daisy's predicting a midsummer delivery. Will you be available?”
Mrs. Turner focused on Daisy.
She nodded, beaming.
“If Daisy wants me to attend, I will make time,” she murmured. Then her face turned worried. “Are you… all right about this, son? It's a big change.”
Colin's lips curled upwards. “Yes, Mother. We're quite happy. I've learned in the last half-year that change isn't necessarily a bad thing. When it involves Daisy, change might be surprising, but it's usually lovely.”
Smiles all around, the three returning to their hymn singing just as Katerina launched into a majestic intro for “Hark, the Harald Angels Sing!” then “O Come, O Come Emmanuel” and last, “Silent Night.”
Once the carol singing ended, and the group turned to confer.
“Dinner won't be for a couple more hours,” Julia informed her guests. “Would anyone like to play a game?”
“I like hide and seek,” Marjorie Turner girl offered.
Her sisters chorused agreement and little Sophia bounced to her feet, her black curls and the ribbons on her dress bouncing with excitement.
Katerina shuddered.
“Say it,” her husband encouraged.
“Um, I've had a bad experience playing hide and seek and I've quite lost my taste for it, though you are all welcome to play if it's what you prefer. I'll stay here.”
“I'll play!” Mrs. Cary offered. “In fact, I'll be 'it' this round. Off you dash!” She covered her eyes with her hands. “One, two, three.”
The three adolescent Turners, Sophia and Ralph Cary raced for the door and disappeared into the Bennetts' spacious townhouse.
Devin Bennett and his wife glanced at each other.
“I'll watch over Maya,” Mrs. Turner offered, “if you want to play.”
That sufficed. Giggling like children, they ran for the door.
The two eldest couples regarded the remainder of the guests.
“I'll stay,” Daisy said. “I'm not feeling all that well.” She laid her hand on her belly, swallowing against the mild queasiness that overtook her from time to time. “Colin, you may go if you want. I won't feel neglected.”
He shook his head. “I may not be as gloomy as I once was, but I lost my taste for childish frivolity long ago.
I'll remain with you.”
One of the twins began to fuss in his grandmother's lap. Katerina rose from the piano bench and retrieved the squalling boy, settling onto the settee and boosting him to her shoulder. He laid his head on her and settled instantly.
Daisy smiled at such a tender display of motherhood.
Christopher retrieved their other son and joined her, tugging her against his side.
“I'm so glad,” Katerina said, turning to Colin, “that things have turned around for you.”
“I'm certain your prayers played a role, Mrs. Bennett,” he replied. “Thank you.”
She smiled shyly.
Cary moved away from his spot and joined the new grouping of young adults. “How things have changed for us all. Remember when we all sat in my townhouse, drinking brandy and reading poetry, three single men with no thought of the future? Now, here we all are, married, fathers or soon-to-be fathers, and all our careers have fallen into place. We've been blessed, haven't we.”
“That we have,” Colin agreed.
In the Bennetts' comfortable home, surrounded by new friends and family, the man she loved, who had risked his life to protect her and who had pledged that life—willingly at last—to her, the tiny spark of life they'd created in love growing within her, Daisy couldn't wipe the smile from her face. Sweet peace, to be sure. Heavenly peace.
Author's note
Dear Readers,
Melancholia, called depression today, is one of the most insidious and prevalent of all mental illnesses. Characterized by sadness, loss of interest, insomnia or excessive sleep, appetite problems, intrusive thoughts and low self-esteem, depression can ruin lives. It's a major contributing factor to suicide. Depression can be chemical (caused by faulty 'wiring' if you will, in the brain) or it can be situational, caused by painful life events.
In Colin's case, he has mild hormonal depression, but the majority of his melancholia is caused by habitual sadness and stress. His father's abuse contributed to his intrusive thoughts, but just as Colin discovered, depression lies. To the sufferer, those lies feel absolutely true and real, and it's difficult to convince one's self that they're not. Replacing depression's lies with reality is one important step toward recovery for many people.
Colin's Conundrum: A Steamy 19th Century Romance (The Victorians Book 3) Page 22
