Sarah drove directly to Scott’s apartment. After the morning she’d had, she really needed some reassurance that everything was going to be okay. Scott was all she had left now, and she really needed to be with him.
She pulled into the parking lot, and walked up the steps to his apartment. The door was unlocked, so she walked in and headed straight for Scott’s bedroom.
Scott’s voice carried down the hall. “Who’s there?”
Sarah heard mumbling and shuffling in the bedroom as though Scott were talking to someone.
“Hey, it’s me, Scott. I need to talk to you.” Sarah rounded the corner and her breath clogged inside her lungs.
A completely naked man shot past her and into the master bathroom and slammed the door behind him. Scott hopped out of bed and pulled on a pair of jeans.
A knot formed in Sarah’s stomach that made her want to retch. “Oh, my God, Scott! You’ve got to be kidding me.” A massive vise closed around Sarah’s chest. She gasped for a breath.
Gay? My Scott is gay? Scott is cheating on me with a guy? But how? Why?
“What the hell are you doing here?” Scott pulled on a T-shirt, and then pushed her out into the living room.
The room became a good forty degrees warmer as the adrenaline surged through her bloodstream. Her heart beat so hard it thumped inside her throat. She barely rasped out a question of her own. “What am I doing here? What am I doing here?” She pushed hard against his shoulder and he stepped back as she stomped forward into his personal space. “A more appropriate question would be what the hell were you doing in there? What is he doing here?”
Scott raised his hands in front of him. He wouldn’t want to fight, but Sarah was too pissed off to care.
“Sarah, don’t play dumb. You had to know.”
Sarah’s stomach churned with self-doubt. She refused to accept the blame, steeled herself and mustered enough strength to appear very cold and calm. “Did I? We’ve slept togetheroften. All that talk about wanting a future with me was just a bullshit cover wasn’t it?” She didn’t let him answer as she paced back and forth between him and the hallway to the bedroom. Rage burned inside her. “I can’t believe I fell for it. How long were you going to let me believe that everything was fine between us? How long were you going to pretend and keep having sex with me?”
I don’t know who I hate moreyou for deceiving me or myself for being deceived.
There was silence except for the click of the master bathroom door opening.
The thunderous voice that Sarah always reserved for the words “Police! Open up!” suddenly burst from deep within her gut. “Stay in that bathroom, bitch!”
Scott shook his head and practically whimpered. “We were such good friends I thought you’d grow to accept it. I thought we could work out an arrangement.”
The reality of his plan hit her like a bucket of ice water in the face. She gasped for a breath. “Work out an arrangement? Are you fucking kidding me? Do you actually believe I am so unworthy of a relationship with a real man that I would settle for being a fag’s cover?”
Scott reached for a cigarette on the coffee table behind him and lit it as he spoke. “Hey, Sarah, you let yourself go. You used to be pretty hot but you’re not exactly on anyone’s most wanted list any more, if you know what I mean.”
“You bastard.” The vise continued to close around her chest and something finally broke inside. Someone completely unknown to her stood before her. He was hateful, selfish, self-serving and had the blackest of black hearts. Looking at him now made her want to vomit. There was a stink in the air she could no longer stomach. “You know, Scott, I would have moved mountains for you, but whatever you thought I was going to do for you, forget it.”
Scott closed the distance between them and reached out to take her hand.
She flinched away and stiffened, hands fisted at her sides.
Scott puffed nervously on his cigarette.
Yes, it was fear she saw in his eyes.
“Look, we don’t need to tell anybody about this. Right?”
Sarah pushed past Scott, nearly knocking him over, and stormed to the front door. “Your secret and your Air Force career are safefor now. I’m certainly not ready to admit to anyone that my boyfriend cheated on me with a man. Oh, and I’ll be a civilian by this time next week.” The first smile of the day curved her lips. “Who knows, perhaps you will be, too.”
You may have used me, but I own you now.
Sarah got into her Jeep and squealed the tires as she pulled out of the parking lot. The cars and traffic were a haze of colors as she drove across town to the house she shared with several other cops. At the first red light, she pulled a cigarette out of the box and lit it. The adrenaline was wearing off as the claws of reality began climbing up her spine.
I’ve managed to lose everything in less than a day. What the hell do I do now?
Reality hit. Her head throbbed. It would have to be made of Silly Putty to wrap it around everything she’d been through today. Sarah pulled over to the side of the highway as tears flooded her eyes and rolled down her face. She choked on her sobs and her body tried to vomit but there was nothing in her stomach but the twisted train wreck of love, hate, bile and loss.
The same thoughts and questions kept swirling around inside her head as she sobbed.
This isn’t what I wanted when I joined the Air Force. How do I fix all of this? How do I create a life out of this huge pile of shit?
After what seemed like hours, the tears finally stopped. Sarah cleared her raw throat and rinsed it with the last swig of Diet Coke remaining in the can she’d left in the Jeep’s cup holder last night. The warm, flat, sweet liquid did nothing to quench her thirst. Even her taste buds were too exhausted to care anymore. Exhaustion weighed on her body like a lead suit. Her muscles pulled at each other so hard that the simple act of driving became a chore. She was so drained and exhausted she could barely think.
Sarah pushed down on the clutch, slid the gearshift into first and continued the drive home. Fifteen minutes later, she parked the little, white Jeep on the street outside the brown stucco house that looked like every other house on the block.
It wouldn’t be long before she couldn’t afford even the rent on the one lousy bedroom in this cookie-cutter house.
Well, Sarah, you’ve officially hit rock bottom. You’re so obese nobody will hire you for anything but a position as a lunch lady or a housekeeper. Your boyfriend prefers boys. You have no place to live and you have fifteen dollars in your checking account.
Then, a clear voice inside her mind that seemed far too calm to be her own spoke up.
You can either give up completely or you can look for the positive in this situation and make a fresh start.
Okay, it was inventory time.
No place to live, no significant other, no place to go, and as of next week, no job. It didn’t look good.
At least there’s nowhere to go but up!
She could always head back to South Dakota, but the last thing she wanted to do was to move back in with her parents. She had never been terribly close with her family, and when she joined the Air Force during a war, they hadn’t understood the decision, nor did they approve.
The last thing she wanted to do was go crawling back to them and admit she’d failed at something else. She’d never hear the end of it.
Suddenly, the calm voice deep within her was back.
No, you will not give up now.
Life had great adventures in store for her, she knew it deep in her gut. Something good was going to come out of all this and she just had to ride out the shitstorm.
Her fingers nervously fidgeted with a small piece of paper in her non-smoking hand. When she looked down she understood that her options were limitedto one.
Marilyn Manson’s “The Beautiful People” played on the radio.
Yeah. I can be one of them.
That cinched it. She’d call the number on the card. Her first ste
p in getting the life she wanted was to find a way, any way, to lose this weight and gain some control over herself and her life for good.
~~~
“Hey, boss lady! I thought you were processing for the sandbox today?”
Sarah wasn’t expecting Jody to be awake when she arrived home.
“Change in plans.” Sarah reached for the phone and dialed the camp to see if she could get in as soon as she was discharged.
The woman on the other end of the line asked only a few questions.
“Full name, please?”
“Sarah Marie Stevens”
“What base are you currently stationed at, Sarah?”
“Nellis Air Force Base”
“Okay. We’ll call you back within twenty-four hours to let you know if we can take you.” There was a click and then a dial tone.
It was peculiar that they’d want so little information, but she was in no position to question their methods. She just hoped they’d take her.
On Saturday morning, the phone rang at eight.
“Sarah Marie Stevens?”
“Speaking.”
The woman on the other end of the line spoke quickly and didn’t pause long enough for Sarah to ask questions.
“You’ve been accepted into our weight loss program. Pack one bag only. The required uniform is battle dress trousers, black T-shirt and combat boots. You’ll have little need for civis, so don’t bother packing any. Call this number to notify us once you’ve out-processed at Nellis. Then park your vehicle in the long-term parking lot at Las Vegas International Airport and standby there for your ride to the camp. Do you understand these instructions?”
“Uh, yes. Thank you. Thank you very much!” Sarah heard the now familiar click and dial tone.
The whole phone call lasted less than forty-five seconds. Sarah spent the rest of her weekend wondering where her future would lead. The only difference now was the fact that the light at the end of the tunnel wasn’t a speeding locomotive. There was finally a glimmer of hope.
At nine-o-clock Monday morning, Sarah drove to base and reported to the orderly room. They gave her a checklist of things she had to do prior to her out-processing like returning any library books she may have from the base library, attending a three-day class in preparation for her civilian job search and speaking to a military mental health professional just so they could be sure she wouldn’t off herself as soon as she got the boot.
Sarah just rolled with it and did what she was told.
When she reported to work for her last two days in the Air Force, things had changed. Her usually talkative coworkers only spoke to her when they absolutely had to. She had suddenly become invisible to all of them. The people she had thought were her friends now ignored her and spoke around her rather than to her. To them, she had done the equivalent of quitting the Air Force, and they took it personally as though she had quit them.
Sarah smoked a lot of cigarettes that week. She barely ate. There wasn’t room in there for all the butterflies and food too. It was the roughest week of her life, but it would be over soon and her life would be back on track after a stay at the camp.
It was another hot day in Vegas when Sarah was ledlike the prisoners she’d escorted so many times herselfto the military personnel office to sign her discharge paperwork.
The Sergeant who shepherded her to her final appointment had been her peer. They’d worked together for years and had a lot of laughs working as Desk Sergeants. Today he wouldn’t smile or even make eye contact with her. This part of her life was over. She didn’t want to waste her energy feeling loss and disappointment. She cut it loose. She cut them all loose. She felt liberated, light, free and ready to begin her new life.
At three-o-clock, it was finally done. She was a civilian.
She was free, but she had nothing.
Her severance pay would cover eight months of her Jeep and insurance payments. She hoped that boot camp would come through and help her lose weight quickly so she could get her life back on track.
She’d already packed her bag and dumped everything else she owned in storage. Her storage unit was paid up for the rest of the year. After that, she’d need to either pay month to month or pick up her things before the storage company sold them.
Sarah drove out of the Nellis main gate for the last time and pulled into a convenience store just a block away. She bought a can of Diet Coke, a pack of Marlboro Lights and made her phone call at the payphone outside.
Chapter Three
Sarah drove into the long-term parking lot at Las Vegas International airport about a half-hour later. She pulled her duffel bag and Diet Coke out of the Jeep. Then she lifted the soft, canvas top back up over the Jeep and snapped it into place. The soft top wasn’t exactly a theft deterrent, but she locked the Jeep anyway.
As she pocketed her keys, she smiled to herself. Two keys were all she had to show for her thirty years of living. One key started her Jeep Wrangler, and the other opened a small storage unit, no bigger than an outhouse, which contained all her worldly possessions.
Sarah propped her duffel bag against the bumper of the Jeep, lit another cigarette and paced the width of her parking space. Halfway to the filter of her cigarette, a shiny, black Suburban with black tinted windows rolled up next to her.
The electric window lowered and the driver called over the rumble of the engine, “Sarah Stevens?”
Sarah nodded.
The driver tipped his head toward the passenger door, and motioned for her to get in.
Sarah stubbed out her cigarette on the sole of her combat boot and flicked the butt under the Jeep. She moved around to the passenger side of the Suburban, threw her duffel in the back seat and climbed into the front seat.
“I’ve seen these in convoys but never ridden in one. They’re pretty nice.”
He shrugged off her comment. “Yeah, they aren’t bad, but when you’ve got something this shiny in the desert you’re constantly waxing off the sand scratches.”
The driver picked up a radio handset and keyed the mike. “Transporting Stevens to Thunder.”
Sarah peered out the window into the bright Nevada desert as they drove out of town. The driver sat silently as though he’d driven this road a million times.
She kept her eyes on the road and focused on her future. It wasn’t long before they lost sight of Las Vegas and any other signs of civilization.
They drove a series of dusty trails through the desert. Occasionally, a Joshua tree would rise over the horizon or a tumbleweed would roll into view. She was careful to remember the position of the sun, mountains, road and the time of day. If she was left out here, she’d know how to get back.
After about thirty minutes of driving, the Suburban came to a dry riverbed that crossed the trail. The vehicle slowed to a stop and the driver handed Sarah a blindfold. “Put it on. If you don’t know where we’re going, you can’t give away the secret.”
Nervous bubbles rose within her to a light chuckle. “You can’t be serious. Are you afraid that hoards of fat people will rush the gates and demand you take them in?” Sarah grinned at how silly such a scenario would look.
The driver narrowed his eyes and glared at Sarah. “This isn’t a joke. Put on the blindfold or get out and make your own way back to the airport. It makes no difference to me.”
He seemed a little too serious for Sarah’s liking, but she understood his tone. Since she had no intention of walking back to the airport, she tied the blindfold around her head.
I’m alone in the middle of the biggest cemetery in the country with this weirdo. This had better be worth it.
She reached into her right pants cargo pocket and curled her fingers around the handle of the bayonet she had stashed there. Somehow, in this very uncertain time in her life, it gave her a feeling of security to know she was armed.
Dressed to kill.
After more dips and turns through the desert, the driver said, “Okay, you can take off the blindfold now.�
�
Sarah reached behind her head and untied the black cloth. She squinted and blinked back the harsh light of the desert as her eyes adjusted to the light. They were on a hill over a valley that could have been, and likely was, once used for nuclear testing.
A completely desolate desert location devoid of any plant life, the camp consisted of a multitude of metal, round-roofed huts and aircraft hangars.
Every hut and hangar was covered with desert camouflage netting. Several small white picnic tables, black trashcans and red butt cans were scattered around the buildings and shaded with camouflage nets on spreaders.
Well, at least it doesn’t look like smoking is frowned upon here.
A handful of sand-colored, government-issue Hummers were parked near hangars under camouflage netting, but there were no civilian vehicles in sight.
The ride in was a bit bizarre but this suddenly feels right.
Chapter Four
The driver pulled the Suburban in front of one of the rounded huts and shut off the engine. “Get your bag, Stevens. This is where you sign in.”
When she opened the door of the Suburban a blast of hot, dry desert air whipped through the vehicle. Sarah stepped out and retrieved her bag from the back seat before walking into the hut behind the driver.
The driver spoke to the tall, blond woman standing behind the only desk in the small room. “Hey, Mary. This is Stevens, checking in.”
“Okay, Stevens, this is a pretty simple process so let’s not muck it up with a bunch of questions. Have a seat.” Mary motioned to a chair in front of her desk. “First of all, this is a co-ed camp. Any messing around with campers or cadre will get you both a one-way ticket out of here.”
The Path to Freedom (Task Force 125) Page 2
