“Too quickly,” interjected Bill.
The other one grunted in acknowledgment.
“That’s the thing I don’t understand about any of this,” said John. “It was like… first there were riots. I mean, there’ve been riots before, ugly ones. And there’s almost always looting when the power is out for a couple days… But things got crazy too quickly… Too quickly…”
“We’ve talked it to death already,” said Bill. “Basically, it doesn’t make any sense unless you consider that it’s just what we are.”
“What do you mean?” said John. He was feeling better now, with the bread in his stomach, refilling his glycogen stores slowly, and his thirst quenched.
“We were all brought up believing that we’re all civilized humans,” said Bill. “We were brought up believing that all those crazy, horrible things in history were from a long, long time ago, and that we’ve progressed past that. They told us in school how the early humans fought brutal tribal wars, slaughtering each other, how they ate each other, etc. But we always considered our ancestors something completely different from ourselves. We’re the modern humans. But in reality, we’re nothing more than cavemen dressed in suits.”
John laughed, to his own surprise. “That’s what they used to say about us investment guys. Or something like that. That we’re sharks in suits, basically. Savage interior, well-dressed exterior.”
“Exactly,” said Bill. “And once the suits and modern society suddenly drop away, what’s left? Nothing but the primitive savage who’s willing to do anything for his own survival.”
“Or what he considers necessary for his own survival,” said John. “I’ve seen things that made no sense. Things that didn’t benefit anyone.”
“Part of the package,” said Bill.
“So what are you guys doing hiding out here?” said John. He couldn’t exactly put the pieces together of what was going on.
“We’re deserters, basically,” said Bill. “I didn’t like what was going.”
“To put it lightly.”
“We call the organization that’s formed the militia, but it doesn’t really have anything to do with the military. Not the military we once had. And certainly not the police force.”
“They were executing people,” said Bill. “Like some kind of demented martial law in effect. It was horrible.”
John wondered if that was how Bill had lost his wife and child. But still, he didn’t dare ask. And he hated himself for not asking.
“So I imagine they’re not so happy about that, about you deserting?” said John.
“No,” said Bill, shaking his head.
“They want total control of the area,” said the other. “And they’re vicious. They’ll do whatever it takes. Trust me, whatever.”
“It sounds chaotic,” said John.
“Sort of. It’s actually pretty organized. Considering that there’s no real means of communication. They’ve started using runners, though, to send messages through to the other leaders.”
“And what’s the goal of all this?” said John.
“Control? Power? Who knows. The people who lead the militia—maybe they were frustrated with their old lives. Maybe they were always on the bottom of the hierarchy. Now they’ve clawed their way to the top. And they want to punish the others.”
“There’s also the practical aspect of it all. Those at the top get the most food. The water, and the booze.”
“I can’t imagine that’s going to last long,” said John. “Not without any food being shipped here.”
“And don’t forget most of the farms in the US are heavily automated,” said Bill. “Don’t think that those farms out in the Midwest are going to be able to grow corn and wheat like before. Maybe eventually. But not for a long while. And still the food won’t get here.”
“Has the militia started on plans to produce here in the suburbs?” said John.
“Not from what we can tell,” said Bill. “The whole thing is bound to collapse when the food that’s available here runs out. But there’s quite a bit of it, if you consider all the stores that are packed full, and all the food in people’s houses. And it’s not like it’s being divided up equally. Far from it. Those at the top of the hierarchy get the most. They’re the only ones with full stomachs.”
“And what about you guys?” said John. “Are you like the resistance or something?”
Bill and the others laughed.
“I suppose so,” said Bill. “Although I don’t think we’ve ever actually said that.”
“And what are your plans?” said John.
“To get out,” said Bill.
“We can’t take them all on. There’s just no way. We’ve been hiding out in basements and stuff for the last few days. But we won’t last long here.”
There was silence for a moment in the dark basement.
“You want to come with us?” said Bill.
“Yeah,” said John, without hesitating, without even asking where they were going. “When are we leaving?”
“Tonight,” said Bill.
The four of them fell into silence for a while longer. Each of them seemed to be lost in their own thoughts.
John tried to think of the journey ahead, and what it would entail. But he knew in his heart that there was simply no way he could predict the coming dangers and trials. He’d already been through so much. His mind and body weren’t ready for more. But there was no other option. He had to keep going.
The light outside was starting to grow dim as the sun fell lower in the sky. It was late afternoon and it would be dusk soon.
The rumbling truck in the distance hadn’t passed down this street, or they would have heard it for sure. There were no sounds outdoors except the chirping of the birds.
Bill had a small medical kit and he put something on John’s cut. It stung, but John hardly even paid attention to it. There was so much to think about, and so much to avoid thinking about, that he’d completely forgotten about the cut, not to mention his stomach problems. Those were simply the least of his worries.
Clear plastic tubs were stacked along one wall of the basement. They were full of children’s toys, stuffed animals, train tracks, and toy soldiers. Next to the tubs, there was a child’s mountain bike.
This had been someone’s house. A family’s house. Children had lived here and played here. Maybe they’d been old enough to go to school. The parents had gone to work, gone to the grocery store, cooked dinner, watched movies, and made love. Whole lives had been lived in this house.
And now there was nothing left but their possessions, hastily abandoned. What had happened to the family here? What had happened to the children? Had the parents waited like John had, until something awful had happened? Or had the parents hastily packed their children and some essentials into the car, only to get stuck on the roads somewhere? Had they all died on some overcrowded, jam-packed highway? Had their car even started? There was no way to know. And it wasn’t fun to think about.
Suddenly, a sound rang out.
It was someone knocking on the door. Knocking loudly.
Whoever it was, they knocked incessantly. Constantly.
John hadn’t heard anyone approaching. He hadn’t heard any vehicles.
John froze.
In the dim light, he saw Bill and the others reaching for their guns, which they had laid on the floor, or against the walls.
Bill and the others rose slowly to their feet, making gestures at each other.
John rose too, but he didn’t know what to do. He didn’t have a gun. And no one handed him one. In fact, no one even looked at him. And why should they? It wasn’t their job to protect him. It was everyone for themselves.
John searched blindly with his hand for his knife on the ground. He found it, and his hand formed a fist around its handle once again. It was comforting having something in his hand, even if he knew it wouldn’t do much good against a gun. No good at all, really.
But he clutched it anyway
.
John didn’t dare to speak. But he desperately wanted to ask what to do. He wanted some direction. He wanted a plan to follow, something concrete. But he knew that was a ridiculous wish. There were no plans. No certainty. No safety.
Glass shattered on the first floor, the sound coming down loudly to the basement.
Whoever was up there, they’d just broken a window. Soon, they’d be inside the house.
22
Mandy
The bullet had pierced the glass of the passenger window and lodged itself in Max’s headrest. No one was hit. But that was only pure luck. Maybe they wouldn’t be so lucky next time. And there was sure to be a next time. There always was. There was no rest for them, and Mandy wondered if there ever would be.
The right portion of the front bumper had smashed into the person on the side of the road. The body had crumpled underneath the minivan, and they’d felt the sickening bump as the van drove right over the body.
No one looked behind them. No one spoke. But Sadie screamed, and then fell silent.
They had all been through so much that, strangely, getting shot and running over a stranger wasn’t really that big of a deal. What a horrible reality they were living in, thought Mandy.
Looking straight ahead, Max was driving them quickly down the highway, heading west, towards Ohio.
The sky was darkening. The evening was approaching. Soon they’d be facing the night, and who knew what terrible dangers awaited them out on the open road. Mandy couldn’t help but think about how they were even less prepared than they’d been two weeks ago. When she and Max had left the suburbs, they’d had maps. They’d had a plan. They knew where they were going, and they thought they’d be safe there.
Now, their haven had become dangerous, and their eventual fate was a mystery.
Mandy’s mind turned to the Millers and what awaited them. Maybe they were fighting for their lives right in this moment. Maybe the battle had happened quickly, and the Millers had triumphed. Or maybe the Millers had become nothing but bodies lying on the floor, soon to be pushed aside and forgotten. Or maybe nothing had happened at all, the strangers retreating back into the trees, leaving the Millers to live and fight another day.
Mandy looked over at Sadie and James, in the seats next to her. They were both fast asleep. Sadie rested her head on James’s shoulder. Mandy felt a pang in her chest. They were too young to be going through this. They deserved to be living the normal lives of teenagers. They deserved to have the rest of their lives stretched out in front of them, open books that they could do with what they wished.
“Where are we going?” said Mandy, tapping Max on the shoulder. She sat in the seat directly behind him.
“West,” said Max. His voice was tired, and it cracked a little as he spoke.
“We need a plan,” said Mandy.
“I know,” said Max. “But we also need to get out of this area before something else happens.”
“You’re too tired,” said Mandy. “I can hear it in your voice. Let me drive.”
“I’m fine,” said Max.
“No, you’re not. We all need to rest while we can. Who knows what’s going to happen next. And it’d be better for us all if you’re well rested.”
Chad had joined James and Sadie in falling asleep, and Georgia wasn’t far behind. In the passenger’s seat, Mandy could see that her head kept bobbing back and forth as she jerked herself awake every couple minutes. She was probably too worried about her kids to let herself fully fall asleep just yet.
“You’re right,” Max finally admitted. “I’ll pull over soon.”
Max switched the headlights off and continued to drive for another ten minutes in the dusky darkness. He drove more slowly, since there was just enough light to drive by.
Mandy knew that he didn’t want headlights blazing into the woods, alerting anyone who could be nearby of their presence.
Finally, Max pulled off to the side of the road. She noticed that he kept all four wheels on the pavement, probably in case they needed to make a quick get away. After all, who knew where they were or what dangers awaited them here. The road didn’t look much different than it had back by the farmhouse. It was tree lined and peaceful looking. But looks could be deceptive.
“What’s going on?” said Sadie, waking up, her voice full of sleep.
“It’s OK, Sadie,” said Mandy. “I’m going to drive for a while. We’re just changing drivers.”
“Don’t forget the flowers,” said Sadie, speaking as if she was in a dream. She fell back asleep immediately. James and Chad slumbered on, dead to the world. It was a testament to how much they’d all pushed themselves. There was always a limit, and they’d all reached it. The human body was capable of incredible feats, but the rules of biology and physics still applied, no matter what. It was lucky they’d all been able to last as long as they had.
Max had his gun in his hand when he stepped out of the car.
Mandy had to navigate her way through James’s and Sadie’s legs to get out through the sliding side door.
“You sure you’re OK to drive?” said Max, approaching her in the near-darkness.
He stood close to her, and she could viscerally feel his presence near her. She was acutely aware of how close his body was to hers.
Mandy felt a pain in her heart. If things had been different, if the EMP had never happened, maybe something could have happened between Max and her. Sure, they’d never known each other, even as neighbors. But sooner or later, maybe they would have run into each other. Maybe some situation would have forced them to get to know each other. Like a normal power outage, a localized one that lasted only a few hours, forcing Mandy to head next door to see if Max had some candles. A romance could have easily developed between them, and who knew what it could have possibly become.
Countless lives had already been lost. But there were other, subtler things, that had been lost as well. Things and feelings that had been cruelly snuffed out.
“I’m fine,” Mandy finally said. “And you need to sleep.”
Mad nodded. She could see the exhaustion in his eyes, even in the dim light.
“What are we going to do?” said Mandy. “Are we going to just keep driving? Or are we going to camp somewhere?”
“I think we’d better get as far away as possible,” said Max. “We can take shifts driving. There’s no reason to camp. Not now. It just makes us more vulnerable.”
“I guess you’re right,” said Mandy. “There hasn’t been a single other car on the road. I wonder why.”
“Who knows,” said Max.
“I guess it’s better not to worry about these things too much.”
“Well,” said Max. “It’d be helpful if we knew more about what’s going on. That’s what’s so hard about this. It’s hard to make a plan without information.”
“And there’s no way to get that information.”
Max shook his head, agreeing with her.
“What about gas?” said Mandy. “We can’t just drive forever. How much gas do we have?”
“A little more than half a tank,” said Max.
“We’ve already used that much?”
“It’s an older vehicle,” said Max. “And we’re dragging a lot of weight along with us.”
“So how do we get more gas?”
Max shrugged. “We’ll have to get it somewhere,” he said. “Or else we’re back to walking. We can siphon it, provided we find another car. Maybe we’ll get lucky and hit a gas station.”
“You think the gas station would still work?”
“Probably not,” said Max. “But it’s worth a try.”
“Maybe we’d be better off just walking,” said Mandy.
“Why?”
“I feel like we’re out in the open on the road,” said Mandy. “Sooner or later we’re bound to run into trouble. A roadblock, or a town. Or another car. Who knows. Anything could happen. If we were walking, we could cut through the woods, take the routes no one wou
ld hit, where there won’t be anybody.”
“Yeah,” said Max. “I was thinking along the same lines. But the problem is that we don’t have maps of anywhere but Pennsylvania. And I think we’re better off driving out of here. It’ll take us forever to walk across the whole state. And the faster we’re out of here, the better.”
“You think things will be any different in Ohio?”
“I doubt it,” said Max. “It’s pretty populated. It’d be a little better in Indiana. I won’t rest easy until we hit Nebraska or Wyoming, though. And that’s a long, long way to go.”
“You think we’ll make it that far?”
“I don’t know,” said Max.
“Maybe we can find some out of the way place in Ohio,” said Mandy. “Head to the middle of some state park or something.”
“We might have to,” said Max. “The only thing to do right now is to keep going.”
They stood in silence for a moment, facing each other, their bodies close but not touching. Before, there would have been the possibility that they’d kiss. And Mandy felt that possibility viscerally, in her body.
But nothing happened. Neither of them moved. There were too many uncertainties. Too much danger.
“I’m worried about you, Max,” said Mandy, finally.
“I’m fine,” said Max.
“Are you taking your antibiotics for your wound?”
“As often as I can,” said Max. “Don’t worry about me.”
“I do, though. You should be resting.”
“It’s not like that’s really an option.”
“I know, but…” Mandy didn’t have anything to add. It was the start of a sentence that went nowhere. Given their uncertain future, such a sentence somehow felt appropriate.
“I wish we had some painkillers for you. It’d help your leg.”
“They’d just cloud my thinking,” said Max. “The pain keeps me sharp.”
Mandy remembered how Max had insisted on giving Chad’s Vicodin to the dying man. It had only been a couple weeks ago, but it felt almost like a lifetime ago. So much happened. And it wasn’t like their story was over. Not yet. Not for a long while.
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