by David James
It feels like you’re dying, I thought. To me it is living and breathing death.
Calum shook his head. “But why did they wait all this time to find me? Wouldn’t they have wanted me a long time ago?”
“You would ask that,” I sneered bitterly. “Up until recently the Orieno were too weak to do much of anything. Even if they did try to defeat us, the Order has always been strong. But now, because of my parents, we have little Warrior strength. We’ve been getting weaker, and the Orieno have been getting stronger. We’ve both been looking for you, and because of your Dad’s highly publicized bloodbaths, we found you at last.”
I didn’t say: I’ve been searching for you since I was twelve. We only found you because I did nothing else but look.
In a voice that was hollow, cold, he said, “I still don’t understand why they need me. Why were you both looking for me?”
“That prophecy I told you about? It tells us about a boy, you, but it also shows what we think is the end of the world. The Legend of the Dreamer shows us the way our savior, the Dreamer, will rescue us all. The Order believes it to be true. It’s said that the Orieno have a prophecy that is similar, though it tells them how to end the world with the help of the Destroyer. It’s called the Script of the Hunter. Glimpses of it have appeared throughout history. From these fragments, the Order has discovered that the Orieno need a child born to the Devil himself to fulfill their legend. If we don’t stop them, if we don’t stop you, then the world as we know it will be over. Hell will be the only thing left, and it’s impossible to live in a place so damned.”
“But Kate,” he said. “I would never do that. How can you still think I’m this Dreamer guy? I don’t have any kind of power at all. I never have!”
“You are the Dreamer.” I glared at him. “The Order will explain it to you; a binding spell was put on you so your true self wouldn’t be seen, even by you, until the binds slowly fade away. Marcus believes it was a witch, the old Woman of Prophecy who did it, but he can’t be sure.”
“What do you mean? Shouldn’t he know? Isn’t he in charge?”
I went still. “He is, yes, but he wasn’t the Order member in charge of your safety. Before all the former Elder members were killed, except for Marcus, an Elder named Brigid was in charge. She was a great healer, I’ve been told. She controlled fire and used it to burn away sorrow.”
Calum said, “So then Marcus took her place?”
“Marcus was the only one left,” I spat. Then continued, “Brigid gave two Warriors the responsibility to protect you and hide you so no one but them knew where you were. Those Warriors knew everything about you. They were the ones that took you to the Woman of Prophecy for the binding spell; it was their idea. For safety reasons, no one else knew where you’d been hidden. The whole thing was one big horrible secret. No one even knew about the spell or you until the Order questioned them years ago.”
Calum tilted his head toward me. “So, where are they now? Why wouldn’t they help me?”
“They’re dead,” I said in a voice rough as cracked stone. A feeling took hold of me, as though icy water was dripping slowly down my back. “My parents are dead.”
“I’m sorry,” Calum said after a while.
I shook my head. “It doesn’t matter. But if you were taken by the Orieno, you wouldn’t have a choice if it came to destroying the world. They are more powerful now than you could ever imagine. They are living death. They suck your soul dry until you are nothing.”
I shuddered. “Too many people have died. Too many of us and not enough of them. It’s my job to kill those who stand against us, those who stop us.”
I held up my right hand as though it meant more to me than it did. “I’ve killed many, more than any other Warrior my age. But it’s not enough. It never is. I won’t stop until I have this entire leviti filled with red.”
Calum’s voice was quiet. “And then what?”
I was impassive when I said, “And then nothing. I fight until I die.” I felt the truth of those words sink in, deep into my heart and stick there. Marcus said I had a death wish, but I could always see the pride hiding beneath his cold eyes. Someone needed to fight, why not me?
Calum touched his left hand to his right. I remembered doing the same thing before I got my leviti. I would watch the few older Warriors and wish I was more like them than me.
He paled and whispered, “How do you know who is working for the Orieno and who isn’t? How can you tell?”
“Their eyes,” I said, feeling a chill run down my back. “To me, it looks like a deep, burning fire. It’s terrifying. We call it the Devil’s glow because demons have it too.”
Calum stopped breathing, though I was sure if I listened closely I would hear his heart pounding fast. I remembered his father’s eyes, the blazing fire in them burning like Hell. No doubt Calum was remembering, putting the pieces together in shards of anger, betrayal, and loss.
I remembered doing the same.
Jaw clenched, I whispered, “I am going to find my sisters.”
Calum was facing forward and, like me, he wasn’t moving. Outside the rain poured down. The air in the car was cool, quiet, and smelled like sweat. Other than the rain, darkness and silence became the only constants.
“What will you do when you find them?” Calum asked, and then added sharply, “kill them, too? Like me?”
“I’m not going to kill you right now,” I answered truthfully. “You are safe with me. And when I find my sisters I will do everything I can to protect them.”
“Will they join the Order with you?”
Terror seized me; I thought of that question often. It came every night after I relived my parent’s deaths, after I saw the blood and the betrayal over and over again.
My hands shook. I was certain, more than anything, and my voice burned raw in my throat when I said, “No. I wouldn’t wish this life on anyone.”
Calum didn’t answer me, but nodded his head.
We sat together, surrounded by nothing but the falling rain. Under my breath I started to hum the slow melody to the Order song, its rhythm comforting and familiar.
Drums, drums, all around
Giving hell to all the hounds.
“Kate?” Calum whispered. His hands were folded in a cross on his chest, his shoulders hunched as he looked out the window.
I didn’t answer, but continued to hum.
Warriors, Warriors, raise your hands,
Beat and fight and hurt for man.
“Is my Mom alive?” he asked.
It was the worst possible question.
“I don’t know,” was all I said. “I don’t know.”
For some reason I kept wondering if I should sing my song for Calum. Would he see the truth in it? Would he recognize the good my fellow Warriors and I gave to the world?
“Thank you for saving me today,” Calum whispered so I almost didn’t hear.
Then the song blared louder, extinguishing my thoughts. I felt ashamed I was questioning something I knew was so right.
I pushed all my feelings away and became a wall of stone, impervious to emotion, with only the old Warrior song in my head.
“Kate?”
I felt my throat close around lost smiles.
They are gone now, but not forever.
I need my sisters back.
I will get them back.
There is nothing more important.
Nothing.
-Calum-
I stared straight ahead, not knowing what to do, or what to think. Moments passed between us like long hours instead of minutes, giving the illusion that time was moving slowly.
The pattering of rain. Only it and nothing else.
Silence between us.
I thought: Dad That man did it for me, that’s what he said. All those people dead-
the writing on the wall-
for me.
Dad He is possessed.
Dad.
Dad.
Dad.
<
br /> Dad is I am responsible.
I said Kate’s name once more, remembering how she said the entire town of Lakewood Hollow was gone, burning, but got nothing in response. I knew she was gone again, and now that I knew she was a Warrior it made sense. I didn’t hate her anymore, not really. I was feeling something much stronger toward her, something I couldn’t exactly name, and because I couldn’t name it, I found myself afraid.
Things are so scary when they can’t be named.
Maybe it was understanding; she lost her parents, and I might have lost mine. She was part of this war and, apparently, so was I.
Maybe it was something more.
But how could I be someone I knew I wasn’t? How could I be this Dreamer?
I couldn’t deny what I had seen back at Lakewood. Death. My father was death. Never before was I so afraid at what I might become.
Am I guilty? Am I so like him now?
Kate.
My fingers trembled, so did hers.
Together, we were alone.
There was a sadness in her eyes, one I knew she tried to keep hidden, that made me believe she was right about everything. I didn’t think even she knew it, but Kate was haunted by just as much sadness as me.
Maybe more.
“Kate?” I asked. “Do all Warriors have violet eyes like yours?”
“No,” she whispered. “No one does. I’ve never met anyone with eyes like mine. It’s a genetic thing, I guess.”
Then, as a song of silence floated swiftly in the air, I felt myself slip into the darkness of night and knew I would be asleep in minutes.
He did it for me.
I have to find a way to make this right.
“Kate?” I whispered again. “Is this my fault?”
Still, her violet eyes were impassive.
-Kate-
I told myself I didn’t care.
Calum.
As sleep settled over Calum, I couldn’t help but notice that he turned and hugged himself until he was pushed so close to the door I couldn’t touch him if I wanted to.
I couldn’t care.
Adam.
“What are you doing?” I asked Adam through the darkness. We were in a secret place in the forest, one we’d found several months ago, with only the stars for light.
“I’m glad you snuck out tonight,” he whispered. “And I’m sleeping.”
I laughed. “Okay, I know that. But why are you sleeping all weird like that? Why are you hugging yourself?”
Even in the dark I could see his grin. “Because you won’t.”
The night was cold, late September air beating around us, but I felt my cheeks warm and burst into flame.
He laughed, “Come here.”
I shook my head but said, “Okay.”
I inched closer, nervous.
He moved closer too, and put his arms around me and squeezed. I could feel his nose tickle my neck, feel him breathe in and out and in. He smelled like soap and leaves and burning air.
“What are you doing?” I asked.
His arms pressed against me.
“I’m holding you,” he said.
Now, I felt the coldness of the autumn night fall tightly around me. I pressed my arms around myself, safe in the darkness, but it didn’t feel the same. The coldness, the bitter loneliness, was as sure as death around me.
I couldn’t care.
He was not Adam.
Only my sisters mattered now.
Chapter Eleven
Angel Tears
-Calum-
Night bled into morning and back again, though I slept through most of both. I didn’t speak for hours, only to accept a few meal bars from Kate because I had to. I wanted to sleep, to hide and forget and disappear, but the moment between dreams and reality was too much to bear. I would hear a voice sounding like a song, so quiet I could barely make out the words. So quiet it was all I thought of. So quiet it screamed, every note shaking with urgency. So afflicted with need I couldn’t ignore it.
Touched by life and death.
He’ll pluck them one by one,
Watching as they fall to the ground.
Be careful, Caeles. You must decide
Which is life and which is death.
Break this prison in a place between.
Wake! You are our only hope.
More than once I tried to fall back to sleep in hopes the voice would give me answers, but it was only those few lines repeated more quietly each time. After they had faded completely, I dreamt of Tyler, my Mom and Dad; drops of course salt on open wounds.
Still, I continued to wonder about the voice. Who did it belong to, and who was Caeles? Who was counting on me for hope?
I gripped the sides of my seat, digging my nails deep into the padding. A low howl of whispered wind made its way through the windows. I thought of my dream of the woods, of the birds falling like bombs. Of hearts drifting down. Had they been symbols for this war Kate spoke of? She said I was the Dreamer. Were my dreams warnings?
Hide beneath the rising sun.
Follow the light road.
I thought, Impossible.
Even my dreams, if they were truly warnings, were hopeless. Now, in this cold autumn, there was no sun, and it was too dark to find the light. The wind never stopped blowing, the rain never stopped falling. Chills crawled over my body, like always, and I thought of Tyler.
Next to me I heard Kate mutter to herself, “Not him. Not him.” I’d asked her about the voice, but she didn’t answer.
I was too tired to care.
We drove past cities and towns, the smooth road growing like a winding vine. The buildings and polluted air slowly turned into mountains and wispy clouds, spoiled only by the normal gray of the season. The cold shadows of dusk were just beginning to brush the bottoms of trees. Like running through a painting of a ghost story, everything was a blur of muted color. The falling sun hit the trees and their branches made apparitions appear in the gray: Tyler, Dad, Mom.
“Are we still in Colorado?” I asked Kate, turning away from the ghosts.
She nodded. “Further up in the mountains now. Far away. No one ever goes up here except Order members that live in the town near Lake Iris.”
This area was different; I didn’t remember Colorado ever looking so terrifying, so deadly. It had changed.
Or I had.
I swallowed a gulp of air but couldn’t exhale.
Then suddenly, because the thought had been on my mind for hours, I asked “Do I have powers?”
My chest slammed against the seat belt as Kate tapped the breaks hard.
“Why would you say that?” she asked in a voice that was as much a whisper as a scream.
I rubbed my neck. “Well, you said that the Order members all have powers over the elements. And you said that I’m the Dreamer from some legend. So, I thought maybe there was something else you weren’t telling me. Is there?”
She was silent, forever. Until, “We’ll find out when we get to Lake Iris.”
Kate drove us through the shadows, their ghostly waves flooding over the car in rapid washes of light and dark. Dense fog was billowing off the mountains, crawling onto the road. It was getting difficult to see, but Kate seemed to know exactly where she was going. With the fog came the slow darkness of night, and before I knew it the air was kissed by the blue lips of twilight.
I ran my fingers through my hair. “Kate? Do you know anyone named Caeles?”
“No,” she said. “I’ve never heard that name before.” She raised an eyebrow. “Another voice in your head?”
“No,” I lied, frowning. “So what is Lake Iris, exactly?”
Lake Iris, I thought. Whenever Kate mentioned Lake Iris, I felt a rush of panic run through my veins like a fire trying to burn.
Like fire burning too quickly-
faster and faster until it died.
Too fast.
Always too fast.
Kate cracked her neck from side to side, and when she spok
e it was as if her voice had cracked too; it was as dark as the night, as deeply filled with mystery as her eyes. “Lake Iris is my home. It’s the Order’s training complex and coven headquarters; the biggest one in North America.” She gritted her teeth. “We’re still second to the one in the Atlantic Ocean, but they’re pretty reclusive. Lake Iris is home to Warriors, lesser Order members, and the Elder Council for this location. It’s where, as Warriors, we train, and where the Elder members can watch over any Orieno attacks in this area.”
Kate spoke of her world in fear and respect, an icy undertone always present in her voice. Her world, to me, seemed as luminous in its magic as it was terrifying in its power to unravel what I’d always known. And I wasn’t even sure I believed.
She paused, as if she wanted to say more but the words stuck in her throat. It was then that I noticed the way her eyes flashed, sad as if she were always remembering someone she missed.
Her family, I thought, because when I looked in the mirror earlier that’s what I saw in myself; that same sadness was in my eyes because of family.
“Stop looking at me like that,” she snapped.
“Like what?” I asked.
“Like you know me.” She stomped on the brakes and shoved the Jeep in park; it squealed, metal against metal, in protest. “Now get out. We can’t let Marcus wait too long. He’ll already know we’re here.”
My eyes searched. “And where are we?”
Kate grabbed the steering wheel with both hands and let her head fall between them. Waves of curled brown made her eyes invisible; I didn’t know why, but in that moment I missed them. She sighed. “We. Are. At. Lake. Iris. Seriously, I feel like I’m speaking to a child.”
“Funny, I feel like I just got kidnapped by a lunatic.”
“Funny, I feel like I saved your life.”
I turned away, and then back and said, “Funny, it feels like you took it away.”
