by David James
“Katherine,” the man said in a deep, coarse rumble of a voice that made my blood slow. Made it burn. “You have returned. And with company. Good.”
“Yes, sir,” was all Kate said, her head and shoulders slouched forward. She was as quiet as the dead. Her body set like stone.
As the man moved closer to us, gliding into focus, I saw his ancient face was wrinkled and his gray hair was long, coming down almost to his waist. On his forehead, the stone spell Kate mentioned earlier reflected what muted light was in the room. It sparkled like a garnet diamond without needing any movement to shine. Surrounding the blood-red jewel were intricate twines of red tattoos, spiraling tribal swirls that circled his black eyes like a mask. And, although they were slanted in a deep smile, his eyes did not feel warm or kind but black and cold and dark.
“You are Calum Wade,” he said without question as he studied me. A low hiss sounded from his mouth. “The son of the Devil.”
I was frozen.
I am not my father. I am not.
He continued, “You are a mystery, Calum. A dangerous mystery.”
My mouth shook with words I knew I should have said: I am no one but myself.
Questions I should have asked: What am I, really? Who are you? What do you want with me?
I opened and closed my mouth, but nothing came.
I was nothing but silent.
The man smiled with his lips closed and, though the smile didn’t reach his eyes, he looked like he was enjoying my misery. “My name is Marcus, though you may not address me at all. I am the leader of this coven.”
He did not blink. He moved closer, lowering his face so that it was in line with mine, and narrowed his eyes.
“We will have to hold a trial for you,” he said slowly, his breath like fire. His teeth were so pointed they looked like fangs. “I am unsure as to whether you are truly the Dreamer, the one who will save us all, or if you are the Destroyer who will side with the Orieno. Or, simply, if you should die and be gone with. As of right now, you know too much to live freely regardless.”
Cold sweat ran down my back. Die?
Then, as if what he had said was as common as hello, he jumped up and walked back toward the shattered door.
“Katherine,” he said, turning to leave the room. “The trial for him will begin in one hour. No more and no less. You were late bringing the boy here, and I have forgiven you, but do not be late for this. You know what will happen if you are.”
A trial? I thought. What had I done wrong?
In my head I felt like screaming.
-Kate-
I was supposed to kill Calum.
I remembered that night, four years ago, as though the cold winter darkness had seeped into that cut in my palm, leaving vivid memories in my veins as the blood spilled out.
That was the one word that always came back when I remembered my oath: Blood. That night there was nothing but blood and this:
“You are significant to this prophecy, Katherine,” Marcus told me. He smiled as though I was important, and in that moment I felt like I was. “You know very well that your parents were traitors to the Order and that it is your job to avenge your family legacy without them. “
I nodded. “But my sisters?”
Marcus waved his hand in the air. “I’ve already said that I would help you find them, but you must do something for me first. You see, in order for me to find your lost family, I need you to take a concern from my mind. I need you to make a blood oath that you will kill a demon.”
“Blood oath?” I cringed. Those two words made me nervous. I had only known Marcus for a year but I trusted him. The sight of blood still made me dizzy, and Marcus was always saying he had been the same way when he was young, so I knew even then the feeling would pass. “Like the blood ceremony the Order will do when the first enchanter returns to help us?”
“This is a little different than that one. Much safer, I promise. This time, I need you to make a blood oath that you will one day kill the demon that is prophecized to destroy the Order,” Marcus said.
I felt my heart run away. Sweat began to drip down my back as I said, “But why me? I- I don’t know if I can kill someone yet. My training isn’t completely done.”
Marcus leaned close. “Your training will be completed in just a week.” His breath smelled like burning leaves. His eyes grew wide with sympathy, and he smiled. “You are everything. I need someone who has a pure heart, so I picked you.” He sighed. “And after what your parents did to the Order, killing all those innocent people, I thought you would want to help us prevent a massacre like that from happening again. Wouldn’t you like that, young Katherine? I thought you wanted to avenge your family name. Don’t you want to save your sisters?”
I looked into Marcus’ eyes and saw what I had always seen: Truth. This was the man who had rescued me from my parents after I found out they were murderers. This was the man who had given me a home.
I owed him my life.
I stood tall. “Yes. I’ll do it. I’ll help. I’ll make the oath. I want to save my sisters.”
“Good,” Marcus said. He reached behind him and, from nowhere, revealed a golden chalice covered in ornate red rubies the color of blood.
“What do I have to do?” I asked. “What is a blood oath, anyway?”
Marcus pulled a silver knife from a hidden pocket in his robes. “It’s simple, really. You only need to cut your hand a tiny bit, and then drip your blood into this chalice. I’ll do the rest.”
I felt my face pale. “I need to cut myself?”
Marcus only smiled. “Don’t worry. I will be here the entire time. I won’t let anything bad happen to you. You can trust me to finish the ceremony if you feel like you can’t. You do trust me, don’t you?”
I nodded. “Yes. Okay.”
He handed me the knife. “Cut your palm deeply.”
My head shot up. “Deeply? I thought you said just a tiny bit?”
Marcus shrugged his shoulders. “I just want to make sure you cut deep enough so that the blood will drip into the chalice. You don’t have to cut deep, I suppose, but don’t be afraid.”
The knife was shaking in my hand. “I can’t-”
“You must,” Marcus said, his voice hard. “I can’t do it for you. The knife must be held by you for this to work. Remember your sisters.”
I breathed in and out. “Okay.”
I felt the cold blade touch the smooth skin of my palm. A tingle of pain shot up my arm and made my face twist in agony, but I dragged the knife across my palm anyway. I stayed quiet.
Then, as fast as lightning, Marcus reached over and pushed down on the knife, hard. Fire burst through me as the knife cut deep.
Red.
All I could see was red.
A question tore out my throat. “Why?”
“You’ve known me for nearly a year, Katherine. You can trust me,” he said. “We don’t have much time, and we need more blood than what you were giving. It will be faster this way. Easier for you.”
Red drifted to black as the edges of my vision began to fade away. Still, I felt the warm trickle of blood down my hand, heard the drip drip drip of it fall into the chalice.
I tried to stay awake.
“How will I know the demon when I see him?” I asked, feeling the energy drain from me as my blood poured out.
Marcus grinned and licked his lips. His eyes were locked on my blood, but he said, “You will know the true demon to kill when the time is right, but for now you must remember to find the Destroyer. You will recognize him by his eyes. He is the son of the Devil, and so his eyes are like his father’s, like the depths of Hell; they will be as blue as though they were filled with cold, dead bodies, as filled with darkness as they are filled with a deceiving light. They are eyes that trick their victims into savage evil.”
I could feel the world slipping away. Dizzy, I whispered, “Blue eyes...”
Marcus’ tongue shot out and in, and his eyes floated back in h
is head. He was breathing heavily. “With this blood oath, you will be the only one with the power to stop the demon’s heart. You will know him, Katherine. You will know in your heart when it is time. You will have to be the one to kill him.”
He took my bleeding hand in his and covered my cut with a red piece of cloth. Then he took the knife I had used on myself and sliced his own palm open. I watched, feeling myself sway left and right, as my blood mixed in the gold chalice with his.
It seemed like forever until he was done bleeding himself, until he began to chant in a language I didn’t understand. I wondered if I had passed out, because suddenly Marcus’ chin was a deep blood red, and the chalice was touching his lips.
He was drinking our blood.
I wanted to cry, but I didn’t have the energy to do anything except open and close my mouth.
Suddenly, Marcus threw his head back and words ran from his mouth. He began to chant faster and faster, and it was as though the words had become alive in the space around us. Lines of red dripped from Marcus’ mouth and down his chin.
“Drink!” he said to me. The blood chalice was tilted to my mouth and, before I could stop it, I felt the warm, metallic taste flowing down my throat.
“It is done!” Marcus shouted. “Now you are bound by the blood in your veins to kill him. If you fail, you will feel the wrath of blood do to you what you could not do to the demon.”
I felt the world tilt and, as I tried to reach a hand to my face to wipe the blood from my chin, I gave myself over to the darkness that had been threatening for so long.
~
I almost told Calum.
When he asked me about my family, about why I needed him so badly, I almost told him that truth.
But then-
Calum’s hand in mine.
His voice. Tell me your story.
-I didn’t know if I could, so I lied.
Calum was stronger than he looked. I could hear it in his voice and see it in his bright eyes, in the way he questioned everything and then took the time to think. To wonder about the possibilities. I could see the way he wanted things: Family, friends, love. I could see the way he looked at me like he knew me. Like he cared.
Like he wasn’t the Destroyer I knew him to be.
He made me want to scream.
Made me want to run.
His hands.
His voice.
His eyes.
I trusted that Marcus thought Calum was the Destroyer, but what if he was the Dreamer instead? What if my lies to Calum were truths I didn’t know just yet?
With Calum, I was beginning to not trust myself and I hated that. Times like this I couldn’t remember who I was now, only who I was before.
Most of all there was this: He is not Adam.
Calum was his father’s son.
I had to kill him.
Chapter Twelve
Forever Damned
-Calum-
I was flying.
Radiant blue sky surrounded me with no sign of stopping. Only white and fluffy clouds, as if snow had been whipped and formed, spotted the sky like beautiful, irregular diseases, and as I rushed through them I could feel beads of dew wet my hair and skin. This entire world, this sky, seemed magical. Every breath I took tasted like freedom. Like life.
Then a voice surrounded me, the same one I’d heard before. “Caeles. Embrace this life.”
“Who are you?” I said, feeling lighter than even the air.
“I am what you were before you forgot. I am so many things, but you may know me now as your brother, the Giant.”
“Brother? I don’t know what you mean. I have no brothers.” I felt my voice grow harsh, and I knew my time must be limited.
The voice sighed. “Look to the stars for guidance. Become the one you are meant to be. Don’t forget that this life is not the only one you will die in; there were others before and there will be others after.
“Can you not feel it when you look at us? Can you not sense your power when you look to the sky? Give in and become who you were always meant to be. Only then will you win the war and learn the truth. It is the only way to cure the hellish curse that you were born with...
“There is no time left. To set us free and save the ones you love, you must find what you lost. See the truth and free us...”
And then I felt myself drop. The breath I wanted to take stolen from me by the surprise. Need flooded through me. I wanted to breathe again. I wanted to taste life. And, even though the next second granted my desire, I knew I’d never get that stolen breath back. All because of that drop, that moment.
It was only a few feet, but I had dropped.
In midair.
How?
And then suddenly I felt hot hands grab me, hold my arms and legs with insatiable fury. Down they pulled, always down.
Down.
In a second I was about to hit the ground.
Down.
Down.
In two, I was beneath it.
Down.
Down.
Down.
In three, the depths of Hell ate me alive, and fire licked at me like the hands of people trying to escape.
~
I woke riddled with agony so vividly real it hurt. Lying against the same rock I’d tripped over near Lake Iris, I opened my eyes, blinked back sweat that was a mask over them, and saw Kate frowning within a tilted world hazed with blue.
“What?” I asked, wiping drool from my lips as the world righted itself. Pins and needles poked at my skin, feeling like tiny fingers prodding. Pulling.
“You were screaming.” She raised an eyebrow. “You were screaming about fire.”
“It was nothing,” I said quickly. “Nothing.
She laughed: Daggers and disbelief. “Right. Still can’t believe you are your father’s son?”
I didn’t answer, but thought of Hell and remembered:
Be careful, Caeles. You must decide
Which is life, and which is death.
Break this prison in a place between.
“You fainted right after Marcus left,” Kate said. She got to her feet, stretched, and ran the hand that branded her leviti through her hair. “Are you... Were you... Marcus said you won’t be able to use any of your demon powers until they remove the binding spell at the trial, so don’t even try.”
“Shut up,” I said. I whispered, “Stop lying.”
Her eyes went wide. “What?”
My skin was on fire, burning as though my dream had been real. And then old wounds from old dreams began to blare in my mind, the memories of pain alive in chills on my skin.
My voice tore my throat in a hundred ways, flying up and out without stopping. “Shut up! I’m not who you think I am! I will never be my father’s son, or the Destroyer, no matter who tells you otherwise. So. Just. Shut. Up!”
My mind screamed, I have a different destiny!
I have to.
I remembered thinking, I am not me, and words I had once written came back:
I am nothing without truth someone more than this.
I am someone.
Am I even alive? Who am I?
Then, the words underneath:
...nothing without truth...
Am I even alive?
I sighed. “I’m sorry, Kate. I really am. But I’m not who you think I am, who everyone seems to think I am, and it’s driving me crazy. And it’s not just that. It’s the fact that I miss everyone: Tyler, my Mom. All this stuff you’re telling me is making me miss my old life and I don’t even know if it was a real life to begin with. How could it have been if I wasn’t who I thought I was? The past seventeen years are just one big lie to me!” I sighed. “And now I know the truth and it’s nothing like I thought it would be. The thing that is really killing me is that I believe you. Or I want to believe you. And I do care! I want to be someone more than who I am right now, but I don’t want to be the Destroyer. I don’t want to be the Dreamer. I don’t even want to be who I was a few
days ago. I don’t know who to be.”
I tried to find her eyes, but she seemed to be looking anywhere but at me, as if my eyes were the one place she wanted more than anything to avoid.
“But you know what?” I continued. “I feel more like me now than I ever did before. More alive. And that, maybe more than anything, makes me wish I didn’t care. Makes me wish I didn’t believe. Because being me now is terrifying.”
Be careful, Caeles. You must decide...
But it wasn’t that easy.
Truth doesn’t set you free, it shifts your world into something else entirely until you’re back to this: Who am I now that I know who I should be?
But I didn’t think hers was the whole truth.
I asked, “Do you believe in past lives?”
Finally, I found her and she said, “The first time I walked into this cave and saw Lake Iris, saw the angel tears falling from nowhere, I knew I needed to leave my old life behind if I ever wanted to have a new one. I believed in what was before me, believed in what Marcus told me about the Order because it was a way for me to avenge my family’s name. To save my sisters. And now that I’ve been in the Order for all these years, I really do believe in it. So, yes, Calum, I believe that we all eventually have a choice to make about who we want to be, and when we make it, our life becomes a series of befores and afters. I made the choice to join the Order and fight for what is good. My past life is something I can never go back to.”
“That’s not what I meant,” I said, my voice unraveling in a quiet, frantic storm. “I keep having these weird dreams and I’m beginning to wonder if I used to be someone else. Had a past life that I don’t know about. There’s this voice that keeps telling me to look to the stars, to what I once was in the past. It keeps calling me Caeles, keeps saying I have this curse, and I think maybe that’s who I was in some past life.”
