Chapter Six
Morgan hadn’t planned to talk about his romantic crash and burn. A long time ago he put that unfortunate incident behind him, at least he thought he had. But suddenly the words were coming out of his mouth. One minute he was talking about how cool his mother was, and the next, he was confessing his past and explaining why marriage wasn’t in his plans. All of this on the way to a childbirth class. What was wrong with this picture?
Too many things, but the only one that mattered was Erica. She was going through a tough time without a lot of support and he wouldn’t turn his back on her, too.
“We’re here.” She turned the SUV into the parking lot of the Women’s Health Center and found a space close to the entrance. “It’s not too late to back out, Morgan. Speak now or forever hold your peace.”
He opened the passenger door and the overhead light went on, illuminating the uncertainty in her expression. Every time he looked at her, all he could think about was fixing whatever problem she had. Tonight was no different.
“You can’t get rid of me that easily,” he assured her.
“Okay then.” She retrieved a rolled up mat and pillow from the rear of the SUV. “Let’s go learn something about birthing babies.”
She smiled, and Morgan felt the power of it deep down inside. Fortunately there was no time to analyze his response because he had a feeling he wasn’t going to like the results.
They made their way inside and up to a conference room at the far end of the top floor. When they walked in, the floor-to-ceiling windows revealed a beautiful view of Bronco, lights stretching to the base of the mountains.
The clock on the wall said five minutes to seven and not being late was a relief. Fixing fences had taken longer than anticipated today when he and his father had found more than one calf caught up. Freeing them without injury had taken time, and he didn’t want to let Erica down, especially the first night of class. It was important to prove that she could count on him.
The rectangular room had a large open area at one end and three tables arranged in a U-shape with a lectern set up at the other. A woman in her late twenties stood there flipping through her notes. Three couples were already there, and Erica was looking around, eyes wide.
Morgan put his hand to the small of her back and fought the urge to pull her close. Only for reassurance. As a friend. “We should probably sit.”
She glanced around one last time and nodded. “Right.”
They found chairs at a right angle to a very young couple. The man smiled at him, the kind of look that implied sharing the ups, downs, joys and fears of this adventure, the one called fatherhood. The other two men nodded in his direction with similar expressions. Morgan noticed they were all wearing wedding rings, which made him the odd man out.
He didn’t feel awkward or out of his element as much as he was relieved Erica wasn’t facing this alone. But she wouldn’t be if her baby’s father was here. Up until now Morgan hadn’t been all that curious, but this class highlighted the absence. What was the story?
That question would have to wait, because he had things to deal with now. The other people in this class probably thought he was going to be a father. There was no good reason he could think of to disabuse them of that impression. If it came up, he would let Erica take the lead. This was all about her.
The brunette standing behind the lectern glanced at the clock, then cleared her throat. “Everyone is here so let’s get started. There’s a lot of information to get through and you’re on a deadline.” There was chuckling and she waited a few moments before continuing. “My name is Carla McNicol. I’m a registered nurse and work in Labor and Delivery at the hospital. I’m also a certified childbirth educator. Why don’t we start by quickly introducing ourselves.”
The couple on the far side of the table started with first and last names, adding that this was their second baby. Married, as he’d suspected. The other two couples did the same. Then it was their turn.
“I’m Erica and this is Morgan. First baby,” she said, “and I’m getting nervous.”
“You’ve come to the right place,” Carla assured her. “Knowledge is power. The more you know, the more in control you feel. This may be repetitious for second timers, but reminders never hurt. So, tonight I’m going to talk about things you can do to prevent preterm labor. You’re all within weeks of delivery, but it’s best for baby to stay put until nature takes its course.”
She started with basics and Morgan was a little surprised at how very basic the things were. The importance of prenatal care. No alcohol or smoking. Prevent infections. Maybe use a condom during sex. He couldn’t resist looking at Erica, and her cheeks were bright pink. The RN got as basic as taking care of teeth, keeping gums healthy. Although Carla teased that she was sure couples conscientious enough to take this class already brushed and flossed.
“Believe it or not, stress and avoiding it as much as possible is a very big factor in preventing labor too early,” she pointed out. “If there’s job tension, do what you can to minimize it. People who make your blood pressure spike—and we all have them in our lives—politely but firmly distance yourself as much as possible. Grandparents mean well but they can add to your tension. Do what you need to do to put yourselves first, Moms.”
Carla talked about family-centered maternity care in the hospital, methods for pain management and birth options. She said there would be more information on that presented in upcoming classes.
“And the last thing we’re going to do is go over relaxation techniques. I’ll demonstrate tonight, but I can’t emphasize this enough. Practice makes perfect. The goal is to relax your entire body while one muscle contracts. Your uterus needs to push down and retract the cervix. If other muscles are tight during contractions, you’re wasting energy and oxygen. This technique also helps with stress.”
She directed them to spread their mats on the floor. Erica sat with her legs crisscrossed, knees out, while Morgan knelt behind her. Carla demonstrated deep breaths to fill the lungs, then exhaling while concentrating on relaxing other parts of the body. Doing it daily would help moms-to-be master conditioned responses to a labor coach’s commands.
“I recommend practicing these techniques every night in bed,” Carla said. “And that’s it for tonight. I look forward to seeing everyone next week.”
Erica was thoughtful and quiet as they rolled up the mat, collected the pillow and were the first ones to walk outside to the parking lot. No chatting after class. No awkward questions to be answered. He could feel her tension and remembered what the RN had said about avoiding it. She hit a button on her key fob and the rear hatch of the SUV slowly lifted.
Morgan put the mat and pillow in the car, then held out his hand. “Give me the keys.”
“What?”
“Your keys,” he said again.
“Why? Is this a carjacking?”
“If I was going to rip off a pregnant lady, she’d need to be driving one heck of a fine truck.” They were standing under a light and he met her gaze, bracing for her stubborn streak to kick in and push back. “I’m driving. Take some stress off you.”
She hesitated a moment, then nodded and set the keys in his open palm. “Okay.”
Obviously she was lost in her own thoughts, because there was no conversation until he pulled the SUV into the parking lot of The Daily Grind, a coffee shop at the edge of town.
“Why are we stopping here?” she asked.
“I just thought before going home you might need to talk.”
“Why would you think that?” She didn’t deny it.
“Because you’re not talking at all, and it’s kind of freaking me out.”
She sighed. “Coffee is a nice idea but I’ve already had my ration of caffeine for the day.”
“I think this place has tea, without the kicker. Or water. Until tonight I had no idea you were s
upposed to drink that much.” He looked over at her. “And I bet you wouldn’t say no to dessert. Coach is buying.”
She shook her head. “I should treat you. I had no idea—”
He put a finger to her lips to stop her words. The jolt he got from touching her nearly stopped his heart. “Arguing is stressful. My treat. End of discussion.”
“Okay.”
At the counter she ordered a caffeine-free herbal tea and a pumpkin scone. He got black coffee and paid for everything. They carried their stuff to a table in a far corner and sat.
He blew on his steaming cup. “So, what’s on your mind?”
“I wouldn’t hold it against you if you want to back out.” Her tone said that’s what she expected. “I had no idea this class would be so...” She didn’t finish the thought, but added, “If this experience is too weird for you, I completely understand.”
“If you’re okay, I’m okay.”
“I am more than okay,” she said. “I was very glad you were there. As long as you’re sure—”
“Yes, I’m sure. We’re friends. I feel as if I’ve known you for years.” But he saw that she was still anxious. “What else is bothering you?”
She looked up, her hazel eyes more brown than green and very uneasy. “This class made it all real. There’s only one way out of this. I don’t know if I can do it.”
“You can.”
“Just like that?” she asked.
“Yeah. And there’s the fact that there’s no way out except birth.” He shrugged. “We’ll practice the breathing, go to the classes and you’ll feel prepared.”
“I desperately want to believe you so I’m going to.” She smiled at him. “Thank you.”
“Anytime.”
But he was standing in for another man. That made him curious and a little bothered by the lack of information about her baby’s father. The guy had to be a jerk to not be around for her.
Was she still in love with him? Morgan hoped not and the intensity of that feeling surprised—and worried—him.
* * *
When Morgan stopped at his house, Erica thanked him again for going with her, then headed home to the Ambling A. All the way she kept seeing the questions in his eyes. In class tonight he’d looked perfectly comfortable with all the information, even when she’d blushed to the roots of her hair at the mention of condoms during sex.
But when they stopped for coffee, after he’d reassured her he was her friend and would help her get through this, his expression grew more thoughtful. She knew he was wondering why he was there instead of the baby’s father. Should she tell him?
That rolled around in her mind as she parked her car near the main house. No one had been around earlier when she went to pick up Morgan, so she’d left a note. The front porch light was on but she hoped no one was waiting up for her. Partly because her parents had to get up early to do ranch work. And partly because she knew there would be questions about where she’d been. Talking about anything to do with the baby seemed to create more tension.
Carefully opening the front door, she slipped inside as quietly as possible, then turned to close it. When footsteps sounded behind her, she knew stealth had been futile.
She whirled around. “Mama. I thought you’d be in bed.”
“Your father is. I was watching TV in the other room. Waiting up for you.”
“I’m sorry.” It was sweet but sort of made her feel like a teenager sneaking in after curfew. “You didn’t have to do that.”
“I know.” Angela stifled a yawn and pulled her long sweater more snugly around her. “But it’s a funny thing. When you lived in Denver, I didn’t actively worry about you coming in at night. Now that you’re here, I can’t relax until I know you’re home safe and sound.”
“But I’m a grown woman,” she protested.
“Doesn’t matter. You’ll always be my baby.” Her gaze dropped to Erica’s pregnant belly. “You’ll understand one of these days.”
“I didn’t mean to keep you up.”
“It’s okay.” Her mom smiled. “Are you hungry? How about a cup of tea to warm you up? It’s chilly outside.”
“I’d love one.” This was nice. It reminded Erica of the closeness they’d shared before she’d gone away to college.
They walked into the kitchen together, and her mom filled a teakettle with water and put it on the stove, lighting the burner beneath it. Erica pulled two mugs out of the cupboard and found her mom’s stash of tea bags. Her father and Gabe had no use for anything but coffee, so this ritual was something only she and her mother shared.
Erica chose something decaffeinated that promised peaceful rest. She showed her mother and laughed. “I won’t hold my breath about that since I’ll probably be up peeing half the night.”
“That’s my nightly go-to tea.” Her mom grinned. “But I’ll be racing you to the bathroom.”
Erica laughed. “It’s like old times.”
“I’ve missed this.” Angela’s expression was wistful. “You used to come home at night and tell me about what happened with you and your friends. Your dates. I remember the first time you went out with Jordan Taylor.”
“Yeah. I was pretty stoked that a former high school big man on campus and local legend like him would even notice me, let alone ask me on a date.”
“Do you think you gave him a fair shot?” her mom wondered.
“Mama, we’ve been over this.” A few dates with the son of the wealthiest rancher in town had been part of the parental push to get her to stay home and attend a local college. “He was like a brother. There was no chemistry at all, no lightning strike.”
Not like with Morgan Dalton, she thought. They had declared themselves friends tonight, but her strong feelings for him didn’t fit neatly into that box. Under different circumstances she would be hoping for more, but with the baby coming, a friendship was all they’d ever have.
“Too bad.” The kettle whistled and her mom filled the two mugs. They carried them over to the table and sat, just like in the old days.
Angela blew on the steamy tea. “Your note only said that you were going out. Where were you tonight?”
Suddenly the warm, fuzzy, nostalgic feeling was replaced by wariness. Being able to go home again was an illusion. You could physically be there but emotionally it would never be the same.
The walls went up. “Oh, nowhere special.”
Her mother’s eyes said she didn’t miss the evasive tactic. “What did you do?”
“Oh, you know—” Erica wasn’t prepared to talk about this. She wanted mother-daughter warm and fuzzy, not tension and judgment.
“Actually I don’t know. That’s why I’m asking.” Her tone hinted at hurt feelings. “Did it have something to do with Morgan Dalton?”
“Why would you ask that?”
“Gabe said he was here recently on ranch business and then you took a long walk with him.” She dunked her tea bag with more force than seemed necessary. “And Mel said he offered to take you to the Denim and Diamonds fundraiser next month.”
“That’s true.”
“Which part?” Her mother frowned. “The walk or the asking out?”
“Both, actually.” Erica was not going to say more but decided to add one last thing. “I like him. He’s a good man.”
“You haven’t known him very long.”
“Sometimes you don’t have to know someone a long time. You can just tell.”
“You were with him tonight, weren’t you?”
She had to give the woman something. “I was at a childbirth class tonight.”
“Oh.” That seemed to appease her mother. “How was it?”
“Interesting. I’m a little nervous about the birth.” This woman had been through it twice in addition to emotionally painful miscarriages. She knew how it felt. “Does it hurt, Mama
?”
Angela’s expression turned soft, a combination of sympathy and concern. “I want badly to lie and tell you it doesn’t. But I can’t. Yes, honey, it does hurt. But it’s nothing you can’t handle. And when you see your baby... There’s just no feeling in the world like it. It’s worth everything you go through.”
That’s what Morgan had said. The part where she could handle it. That helped some. “I’m still a little nervous.”
“That’s completely normal. Trust me, by the time this baby comes you’ll be so ready to do whatever it takes to bring him or her into the world. The childbirth class will help with those nerves—” She stopped and her bonding-mom expression was replaced by something more skeptical. “I thought you needed someone to go to those classes with you. A coach.”
“It’s recommended.” Please don’t ask more, she silently begged.
“Do you have one?”
She hesitated and thought about a lie, but this was her mother. And dishonesty never ended well. “Yes, I do.”
“Who?”
Erica sighed. “Morgan.”
Surprise and disappointment battled for dominance in her mother’s eyes. There was no sympathy or concern now. Just more hurt feelings. “Why him?”
“You and Dad and Gabe have made your negative opinion clear. I didn’t feel I could ask you. Mel is a sweetheart, but I don’t want to compromise her relationship with my brother. I don’t know anyone else. Morgan has been there for me since I came home. There was no judgment.” She shrugged. “And he offered.”
“Oh, Erica—” She shook her head. Her mother sighed. “I’m concerned about you and how difficult it will be for you being a single mother.”
“I gave it a lot of thought, believe me. But more than anything I want to be a mother. If I have to do it alone, then so be it. If I’d had anywhere else to go, I would have. As soon as I find a job I’ll move out.”
“Erica, no one is asking you to leave.”
“I know. But I think it would be better if I did.”
“You are more than welcome to stay. This is your home, and we love having you here. But I completely support your decision, whatever that is.” Her mother stared at her, eyes suspiciously bright. She stood, leaving her now-cold tea untouched. “I’m going up to bed. Sleep well, sweetie.”
The Cowboy's Promise Page 8
