If Nick hadn’t dated, it had to have been his choice. He was a gorgeous, successful guy with broad shoulders to lean on and a wicked sense of humor. Or had his dating been curtailed because of Faith? Maybe he’d worried how she would handle the idea or he’d simply been too busy as a single parent. Or were women resistant to the idea of being with a man who came with a ready-made family?
Pam felt herself getting indignant on his behalf. Any woman would be lucky to have Nick and Faith! They … She stopped, wincing at the irony and trying not to lose her breath at the realization of all she’d sacrificed. Today was her first mother-daughter outing with Faith. If Pam hadn’t run twelve years ago, she would have driven her to school and dentist appointments and maybe music lessons. It was a sure bet that, hearing her daughter’s voice, she would have encouraged her to develop that talent.
The thought gave her pause … because she actually believed it. She’d left because she hadn’t loved her own child, but whatever the past had held, Pam knew she could love her now. It was far easier to imagine herself cheering her daughter on than it was to picture herself belittling her or lashing out at her.
“How old were you when I was born?” Faith asked suddenly.
“Uh … How about we listen to some music?” Pam didn’t know how to handle the topic of her and Nick’s romantic history. On the one hand, she was tempted to use her teen pregnancy as a teachable moment, demonstrating why the only real way to be careful was to wait. Then again, she didn’t want to make it sound like anyone regretted Faith’s existence.
“All right.” Faith shot her a knowing look, but turned on the radio. Before long, they were singing together, naturally harmonizing. Pam actually stopped at one point, just to enjoy the way her daughter was belting out the lyrics.
She’s better than I was. Unpolished, sure, but gifted. But Faith hadn’t let that single gift define her. She was a well-rounded girl with varied interests and countless possibilities for the future. Again, Pam thought to herself what a good job Nick had done as a parent. Of course, he’d told her how much Leigh and his mother had helped over the years. Crap. Next time I see Gwendolyn, I’m going to have to be nice to her.
At the first store, Pam steered Faith away from a rack of dresses that, while technically the right size, were completely inappropriate for her age. “Not those.”
Faith laughed. “I know. Dad’s head would explode. Morgan has this insanely convoluted plan for how to get the dress she really wants to wear—which her Mom won’t let her—into her locker at school so that she can slip away from the gymnasium during the dance and change. Tasha and I keep telling her it won’t work. The side hallways are locked during special events so no one can sneak off and get in trouble.”
Pam paused, wondering how much she could safely interfere without alienating Faith. “You and Morgan are pretty good friends?”
Faith nodded promptly. “She was the first person who was nice to me when Dad and I moved here. And she totally knows what it’s like to deal with divorce, not that my problems were as bad as hers. I was never that close to Jenna. Plus, even during the divorce, Jenna and Dad didn’t scream at each other. You should hear Morgan’s parents.”
Pam winced, feeling unwanted sympathy for the Bad Seed. “My mom screamed all the time when I was a kid. That can be rough.”
“Who was your best friend?” Faith wanted to know. “Ms. Lewin?”
Much as Pam liked Dawn, then and now, Pam had never wanted to burden her with the realities of life at the Wilson house. Dawn had spent the night only once, and had watched with wide-eyed shock as Mae staggered drunkenly down the hallway with the cordless phone, arguing loudly with some guy she’d been seeing.
“Actually,” Pam said, “I’d have to say your dad was my best friend. He’s a great guy. Do me a favor? Listen to him. Sometimes it will seem like more fun, or at least cooler, to do what Morgan or someone else tells you to do. But if your father tells you it’s a bad idea or your heart tells you it’s a bad idea, walk away. Especially if alcohol is involved.”
Faith regarded her seriously. “Is that why you used to drink too much, because some friends talked you into it?”
“I drank for a lot of reasons, none of them good. You’re genetically predisposed, so you may need to be even more careful than your friends. And one or two really hateful jerks might even tease you, but that’s preferable to stumbling and breaking your arm. Or wrapping your car around a tree. Got it?”
Faith nodded. “Got it.”
“All right, enough with the after school special. Let’s find you a killer dress.”
MIMOSA WAS ABUZZ with special events related to the homecoming. As far as Pam could tell, the week was crazy busy for everyone. Business at the salon never let up. Faith didn’t have time to practice guitar chords because she was studying for the school year’s first round of major exams. Nick’s construction crews doubled productivity now that they were working in humane temperatures. And Julia took two private orders for jewelry. One was for Faith, who had insisted on paying for a great necklace to go with her dress for the dance. The other order was a bit more substantial—a woman getting ready to take a cruise with her five sisters had commissioned a set of jewelry for each sister, all of similar design but with slightly different colors and stones.
For the first half of the week, Pam enjoyed the whirl of people and activity, but by Friday, she was frazzled. She was in the salon’s laundry room, adding detergent to a load and counting the hours until the end of her shift, when Beth called her to the front.
“Pam, you’ve got a delivery from a florist up here.”
Had Nick sent her flowers again? She wracked her mind, trying to figure out what the occasion was. It was possible he just wanted to say thanks for her help with Faith’s dress, but they’d brought that home days ago. He’d fussed over his daughter, who looked too much like “an elegant young woman—can’t you go in pigtails and overalls instead?” But it was easy to tell he approved of their choice.
Curious, Pam quickly set the dials on the washer and headed to the front desk. Once she saw the long box, she started laughing and couldn’t stop. “Seriously?” she asked no one in particular. “He sent me a homecoming mum?”
It was tradition at the high school for guys to get their girlfriends one of these huge adornments. At the top, a fluffy white mum was centered in ribbons of blue and gold, the high school’s colors. From there, long blue and gold ribbons trailed nearly to the floor, many with letters or decals on them. The sparkling foil letters on one of her ribbons spelled out Mimosa High; another read NS and PJW. Among the ribbons were chains of gold plastic microphones and guitars, as well as gold football helmets. It was incredibly gaudy.
Dawn stopped short when she saw it, wrinkling her nose uncertainly. “That is something, isn’t it? I can’t tell if he’s crazy about you or trying to punish you.”
Pam grinned at the eyesore. “What does it say about me that I kind of love it?”
“That you two are made for each other.”
“YOU ACTUALLY WORE IT.” Nick stood at the front gate of the football stadium, grinning as she approached. Pam had ridden over with Dawn, but Nick had promised to get her home afterward. They would probably take Faith for a milk shake after the game.
“Of course I wore it! I’m just sorry I didn’t have time to make a blue-and-gold arm garter for you.” She’d entertained the idea for a few minutes even as she’d known she didn’t have the time, materials or energy.
Frankly, she wasn’t sure she had the energy for tonight. Part of her had wanted to simply curl up under a comforter and go to bed early. It wasn’t just the hectic week, it was a groundless melancholy that had been growing all evening.
As she walked toward Nick, she had to kick ribbons free as they tried to tangle around her legs. “Fair warning—this thing trips me, I sue.”
He laughed. “I believe you. I know how much you want to buy a dishwasher for that house.”
“Not to mentio
n roof repairs and a ton of stuff for the backyard.”
On her skills and budget, though, she’d come about as far as she could. While she knew that roof repairs would come up during a property inspection, she thought it would be more a point of negotiation for closing costs, not enough to scare away prospective buyers. It wasn’t a half-bad little house. The foundation was solid and the potential was there.
It was time to put it on the market.
“Faith’s already inside,” Nick said. “She and this Bryce kid are sitting a couple of rows in front of us. Enough room that we won’t be eavesdropping on their conversation, but we should be able to see if he tries anything funny. Oh, and I hope you don’t mind, but …”
“Yes?”
“We’re sitting with Leigh and A.J.”
At the mention of his sister, she sighed. “Joy. No, that’s fine, I can get along with anybody for one night.” Especially when she was too drained to be feisty. “I don’t suppose she brought more cookies with her?”
“Sorry, no. If you’re hungry, we can hit the concessions stand.”
“I was kidding about the cookies, but a soft drink sounds pretty good.” Maybe the caffeine would give her the jolt she needed to get pumped up for the game.
It seemed like the entire county had turned out for the football game, and she held Nick’s hand to keep from losing him in the crowd. At one point, a man jostled into her with significant forward momentum. The force of impact separated her from Nick. She staggered slightly but didn’t fall. Meanwhile, rather than stop in the middle of pedestrian traffic, Nick let himself get swept into the crowd. She saw him stop at the side of the walkway a few yards ahead, waiting for her.
“Sorry,” the man said. He had a little girl on his shoulders and was walking with a woman who had an even younger toddler at her hip.
“I’m all right.” Pam did a double take, recognizing him as Jake Stein from AA. She smiled, but he wasn’t really focused on her. His eyes look glazed. “Jake, are you okay?”
He didn’t bother answering. His only response was a puff of air blown through his lips, a not-quite raspberry that made it clear he was annoyed by her question.
“I’m sorry, you are …?” The woman next to him, who must have been Mrs. Stein, darted her gaze from Pam to Jake. “Honey, do you know this woman?”
He gave a shrug that bounced the little girl on his shoulders and made her giggle. “It’s M’mosa. Everyone knows everyone. C’mon, let’s get the girls to the bleachers. She’s heavy.”
Pam stood to the side of the narrow walkway as the family passed. Was it her imagination, or was Jake’s gait unsteady? It was possibly the result of walking with a fifty-pound child on his shoulders, for all she knew. But her misgivings were strong enough that instead of turning toward Nick and getting those soft drinks, she stood planted where she was, unable to take her eyes away from the Stein family. When she’d been a kid, she’d developed a sense of impending doom that always started with the pit of her stomach.
You have an overactive imagination, and you were already in an irrationally bleak mood. She was advising herself to shake it off and get her soda when the man staggered again in the crowd. Pam’s mind registered what was going to happen a split second before her eyes processed it.
Jake pitched forward with enough force that the little girl toppled from his shoulders and fell with a heartrending cry to the pavement below.
Chapter Fifteen
Considering all the people jammed onto the walkway, Pam reached the Stein family pretty quickly. Jake’s wife was trying to assess the shrieking girl’s injuries while also juggling her shrieking younger sister, who was unharmed but startled. Jake wasn’t even attempting to help. Instead he was sitting on the grass nearby, shaking his head and muttering to himself.
When Pam got close enough, she saw that he’d started to cry. She wanted to shake him—his wife had enough to deal with in two crying babies. Mrs. Stein shouldn’t have to cope with her sobbing husband, who, unless Pam was wrong, had caused this accident in the first place.
“Oh, God.” Pam was startled by the amount of blood. It hadn’t been immediately obvious in the dark, but the wailing girl had turned her head in Pam’s direction and one of the overhead lights caught her face. Her cherubic features, lit oddly bluish, were smeared with dark blood. Pam felt faint for a minute but pushed forward.
“Here,” she offered to Mrs. Stein. “Would you like me to hold the little one?”
The girls’ mother, clearly trying not to cry herself, nodded gratefully as she passed over the youngest of the two, freeing her up to examine the thrashing child more carefully. In an attempt to find the silver lining, Pam told herself that, given the rapid motion of the little girl’s limbs, obviously she hadn’t broken an arm or leg.
Pam patted the girl she held on the back, making shushing noises. She was distantly aware of the crowd parting around her as uniformed guards carrying first-aid kits reached the scene. The injured girl’s shrill cries had subsided to a sort of hysterical snuffling, and Pam caught snatches of explanation from the guard. She’d knocked a tooth out on the concrete and apparently all face and head wounds bled terribly. They were advising Mrs. Stein to take her to the E.R. to check for a concussion and possibly for stitches.
During this conversation, Pam glanced over at where Jake sat. He had stopped talking to himself and was guzzling from a water bottle she hadn’t seen before, probably retrieved from inside his jacket. The dark liquid he was belting back wasn’t water.
You bastard. Not that it was uncommon for an alcoholic to relapse. She’d only seen Jake at a couple of meetings, so it wasn’t as if she knew him well. There was no good reason for her to be taking this so personally.
“Hey!” Nick appeared at her side, blocking her view of the other man. “You okay?”
“’Course.” Not remotely. “Just trying to help out.”
“Mamamamama,” the little bundle in her arms chanted. Pam wasn’t sure if it was random phonetic babbling or a specific request. Mrs. Stein had mostly calmed down her other daughter and was helping her to her feet.
The beleaguered mother tried to smile at Pam. “Thank you so much. I’ve got it from here.”
“You sure?”
She nodded.
After she’d passed the child back and wished Mrs. Stein well, Pam went straight to Jake Stein, without stopping for any kind of explanation to Nick. She ripped the bottle out of his hands with enough force that some of the contents sloshed across her sleeves and torpedoed it into a nearby garbage can.
Then, with tears stinging her eyes, she raced for the ladies’ room, hoping she could get there before she made an even bigger scene than the wailing toddlers.
NICK TEXTED HIS SISTER that something had come up and could she please keep an eye on Faith for the rest of the game. Minor medical emerg. in crowd, trying to assist. He just hoped Leigh didn’t come to the ladies’ room or he was going to be stuck trying to explain why he was pacing outside it, refusing to leave until Pam came back and he could make sure she was all right.
What the hell happened?
They’d been going for a couple of colas, she’d been bumped and the next thing he’d known, she was sprinting down the sidewalk toward the family that had just passed and there were tears and blood and she was throwing some guy’s drink.
She’d only been gone a few minutes, but he felt clueless, which was irritating and made the time pass slower. He was reversing direction for another lap when she emerged, red-eyed and sheepish.
“You want to tell me what that was about?” he asked gently. She didn’t look like she needed an impatient interrogation.
“That guy who dropped his daughter? He was drinking. And he shouldn’t have been,” she said.
“Okay.” He supposed that made sense. It surprised him a bit that she’d become so emotional over it, although he had to admit that the sight of blood on that poor little girl’s face had left even him shaken. And he was astute enough to re
alize that Pam’s own personal issues had magnified her response.
She sighed. “I don’t mean to ruin your evening, but do you think you could take me home? I wasn’t feeling that great when I got here, and now …”
“Yeah, okay.” He could probably make it back before the end of the game, but if it looked like he wouldn’t, he’d call his sister. “Guess I’m ready whenever you are.”
She was quiet on the walk through the parking lot, the only sound coming from her the jangling rattle of the charms on that silly mum he’d bought. It had seemed like a cute idea at the time, but now it made him wince. Tonight just didn’t seem like the right venue for silly. In the background, the band led the crowd in the “Charge!” cheer and Nick cast about for something to say.
Halfway to her house, he still hadn’t come up with much. He told her that he was looking forward to meeting Bryce’s parents when they picked up Faith for the dance tomorrow night and that he had narrowed down Faith’s Christmas present to three guitars and would love to get Pam’s opinion before he made his purchase. All of this was met with semiaudible, monosyllabic responses.
Rolling up to the house in the dark, the two of them alone in the car, brought on a serious case of déjà vu. How many times had he brought her home after Friday night football games?
Since she didn’t seem to be in the right frame of mind for nostalgia, he said simply, “I’m worried about you.”
“You and me both.” She ran a hand through her stylishly choppy hair. “I was standing there with one shrieking kid in my arms, staring at another wailing kid smeared in her own blood, and I thought, ‘I need a drink.’”
Was that why the waterworks afterward? “Lots of people would have that same reaction under those circumstances. But you took that bottle away from the guy and tossed it, you didn’t take it from him and start doing shots.”
She made a noncommittal noise and opened her door. He followed her up the sidewalk, wishing he knew what she was thinking. Sometimes he felt like he knew her better than anyone else on the planet; other times she’d shocked him—like when she left.
A Mother's Homecoming Page 17
