“I can’t deny my desire to be with you and keep you in my life but I’m so fucking scared of relying on you emotionally that I feel paralyzed, which is not who I am and that frustrates me,” Zoe said almost angrily.
C J’s urge was to reassure Zoe but he knew better than to interrupt, so he let her finish.
“If we do this and you decide you want out of the relationship, promise me you won’t hang on to spare me emotionally,” Zoe said, her voice shaking.
Before he could catch himself C J reacted strongly, “I am not a damned fool Zoe. I would never lie to you. Truth is I have never felt this way about another woman and it’s unnerving for me, but I am willing to take the chance. There are no guarantees but you are worth the odds.”
Zoe leaned forward, tears welling in her eyes and said, “I already miss you and you haven’t left yet. Being emotionally out of control unnerves me. If it was work I could be rational, but it’s not.”
C J sensed that he needed to force the issue or he risked Zoe’s fears taking control.
“Then right now we make plans and decide when and where we meet next. Is there any chance we can see each other before you leave for Paris?” C J asked.
“Two weeks isn’t much time to rearrange our schedules. You’re in Houston but I’m in Boston next week and then back here with a deadline to meet before I head overseas,” Zoe said, a bit deflated.
“How long are you in Paris?” C J asked.
“Ten days, then off to D.C. for an interview at Georgetown with a Nobel prize candidate,” Zoe said, clearly thinking of their options.
“I will meet you in D.C. and then we’ll head to a romantic spot in Virginia I’ll find. Deal?” C J said.
With more confidence than she felt, Zoe said, “Deal, and if the interview in D.C. gets canceled we can meet in Virginia anyway.”
“We‘ve both figured out harder problems, and distance isn’t keeping me away from you. After all, what good is the corporate jet if I never use it?” C J said, standing to grab a towel.
He reached his hand out to Zoe, steadying her as she stood and then wrapped the towel around her body. When she stepped out of the bathtub, he grabbed a towel and started drying himself before following her out of the bathroom.
“Right now, all I need is to be in that comfortable bed with you in my arms,” C J said with conviction.
In answer Zoe walked to the bed, dropped her towel and started tossing pillows aside. C J dropped his towel where he stood and reached Zoe in two strides. He put his arms around her body and then unexpectedly fell onto the bed and rolled with Zoe still in his arms. She just looked at him and shook her head silently but C J could feel that bit of levity had been a good thing. After getting untangled from the bedding that had ensnared them while rolling across the bed, Zoe moved to lie against C J’s side. He pulled her securely in his embrace and Zoe laid her head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat slow. In a few moments her eyes closed.
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Zoe opened her eyes, and they adjusted to the darkness in the room. She could hear C J’s heartbeat, and her head moved with the rise and fall of his chest as he breathed. She realized he was now the man in her life and that she would not be the same when he was gone. Running her hand over his chest and then down his abdomen, she had expected to encounter a relaxed C J. Instead her hand found his penis erect, and she began to stroke it as she kissed his chest and then took his nipple into her mouth.
C J stayed still but Zoe definitely noticed a change in his breathing. When she moved to lie atop him and then slid her body onto his penis, he sighed and moved to accommodate her weight. Zoe slowly sat up and began to ride his penis in long drawn-out graceful movements. When she reached back with her right hand to cup C J in her palm, he responded by arching his hips and reaching to tease Zoe’s nipples with his fingers. Fighting to keep her slow and easy rhythm, Zoe drew out each stroke of C J’s penis as she moved on his body. Her orgasm began to build and suddenly overtook her, causing Zoe to grab C J’s waist and lean over his body. Zoe’s hands pressed on his abdomen as her body continued to shudder with pleasure. C J came when he felt the contractions of Zoe’s orgasm begin to apply pressure to his penis, as if she was coaxing him to explode within her. Moments later Zoe moved off of C J and laid on her side with her back to him. C J moved behind her and molded his body to hers. Neither one of them said a word.
ℓ
Zoe felt a kiss brush her forehead and saw C J standing by the bed dressed and ready to leave.
“Stay in bed and get some more sleep,” C J whispered, “I’ll call you later today when I get to Houston.” Before she could respond he picked up his bag and was out the door. Zoe squeezed her eyes shut and rolled over in the bed to seize C J’s pillow. It was cool, but his familiar scent lingered on it. Fighting hard not to start sobbing, Zoe mouthed the words “I love you.”
Chapter Twelve
C J headed from the airport to his office and knew that nothing was going to ruin this day for him. He felt elated to know that his life had purpose beyond contracts and negotiations. Distance wasn’t going to be his ally and Zoe’s schedule posed more problems than his did, so he would be flexible and go to her. The security guard at Marshall Petroleum glanced up to see C J enter the building with a huge smile on his face.
“Hello George,” C J said as he walked across the lobby to the bank of elevators. “I’ve just got to grab some paperwork to take home this afternoon.”
C J heard George’s response as he reached the elevators, raised a hand in acknowledgment and pulled his cellphone out of his pocket. Zoe answered on the third ring.
“Just checking to see if your day is going as great as mine is,” C J said immediately after Zoe said hello. “Despite my sleep being disturbed last night, I feel pretty great.”
Zoe laughed and said, “Your disturbed sleep is probably why you feel so great and it’s going to have to last you for almost a month. I’m up to my eyeballs in work to edit, but nothing new there.”
“When you get a chance, email your schedule for Georgetown and I will work on Virginia,” C J said.
“Will do,” Zoe said. “Sorry, but I’ve got to be in a meeting five minutes ago, so I’ll call you later.”
“It’s Sunday,” C J said questioningly.
“Yes, and my edit deadline is tomorrow at noon, so Jeff wants to go over your interview and the Rostanov interview,” Zoe responded.
“Understood,” C J responded as he heard Zoe say goodbye and end the call.
Zoe placed her cellphone on the desk and smiled. It felt good to know C J cared and willingly let her know it. She headed out of her office and down the hall to meet Jeff. She was going to have to tell him about her relationship with C J and hope he didn’t blow it out of proportion.
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A month, C J thought to himself. Hell that’s a long time. Well, I think I’m going to have to shorten that timeframe. The perfect solution is Paris he thought. I’ll fly to Paris for a few days and then meet Zoe in Virginia as planned. Someone in Zoe’s office will know where she’s staying and I’ll surprise her.
Monday morning C J hit the office determined to make the trip to Paris happen.
“Margie, we’re going to be busy today. I’m headed to Paris in two weeks and that means you need to help me move my appointments and meetings once we decide the priorities. First, send out an email to all department heads, letting them know what is up and to contact me with any immediate concerns. Then come into my office and let’s go through paperwork to find out what I can give to Mark to follow up on.”
Margie, used to his relentless work ethic, was left breathless. C J also had her booking flights and finding a hotel on top of rearranging his schedule to get three weeks of meetings crammed into the next two weeks. This was proving difficult considering he was cementing the Hercules sale and negotiating another contract.
C J, growing frustrated with progress, decided to contact Jeff Thompson to get a hotel recommendation, find out
where Zoe was staying and get the lowdown on her schedule. His was typing out the email to Jeff and C J suddenly halted. What the fuck am I doing? Am I a fool to chase her to Paris and show up unannounced for the second time in a month? Does she need space and do I need to cool off? Not used to doubt, C J sighed heavily and then hit the send button. If I go down in flames, it will be spectacular and I will know I followed my heart. Jeff, as C J suspected, had answers for him on all three points. C J took the hotel chore off of Margie’s list, booked his own reservation and in general felt like things were coming together well.
By Wednesday, C J felt Margie had accomplished the impossible. She had either canceled or rescheduled any meeting that was three weeks out. C J was pleased but no less driven. He and Margie were logging some long days, which prompted C J to promise her a week off while he was gone. C J knew Margie was curious about this abrupt trip to Paris but she never asked him for details and he appreciated it.
C J met Jack Dupre for lunch that Friday and was on the verge of talking about his feelings for Zoe but decided to keep his mouth shut. Talking to Matt and any of his other friends about this was also out of the question, so that left his father. C J had never talked seriously about any woman with his father and wasn’t sure what might come of it. What could it hurt? He picked up his phone and called his father.
“Hey, C J, it’s good to hear from you,” his father said.
“Dad, do you have time to talk?” C J asked.
“I have about fifteen minutes before my afternoon appointments begin. What’s on your mind?”
C J briefly outlined what had happened since his interview with Zoe, while leaving out the most private parts. He ended with his plan to surprise Zoe in Paris. Then he waited for a response.
“I can’t say I’m totally in the dark about this woman because I heard your sister mention her to your mother before Logan left for Africa, but I had no idea you felt so strongly about her,” Daniel Fairchild said.
“That’s part of the dilemma, Dad. Not having ever felt this way about a woman, I don’t know if I am acting crazy or on the right track,” C J responded.
“Trust what your heart feels and then use your head to figure out the details; and I mean the head on your shoulders,” C J’s father said.
Momentarily stunned by his father’s comment, C J answered with, “Then you think I’m making sense?”
“As much sense as anyone in love ever does. Be yourself and Zoe will either love you all the more for your bravado or you’ll know she isn’t the woman for you. C J, I’m sorry but I have to start seeing patients or the afternoon will get backlogged. Call your mother and let’s have dinner before you leave town. We would love to hear about Zoe, and I know your mother would welcome your thoughts on Jack Dupre,” he said before he hung up.
C J sat back and smiled inwardly. As usual Dad didn’t tell me what to do, but he did encourage me to trust my instincts and go for it. He wasn’t sure why, but this show of trust by his father was what he needed to face Zoe’s reaction.
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Paris: C J had only been in the city once before and the visit had been brief. He had visited a college girlfriend, who was an exchange student, and they had not explored much beyond her apartment and a few cafes in Montmartre. Now he was in the heart of Paris just blocks from the Eiffel Tower and he had to admit the city was charming and beautiful. C J had learned from Jeff that Zoe was staying with a friend in the St. Germain district of the city near the Musee d’Orsay but all he had was an address and not the name of the friend.
C J dropped his luggage off at his hotel and started walking the streets in search of a café. It was mid-morning, he was starving and nothing was too crowded right now. There was literally a café on every corner it seemed, and C J settled on one near the Ecole Militaire with a view of the Eiffel tower. Sitting at his table, C J picked up the aroma of freshly baked bread and noticed a boulangerie down the street, complete with striped awning over the doorway. The melodic sounds of French being spoken at the table next to him were soothing, and C J started to unwind a bit until the odor of cigarette smoke reached his nostrils; another reminder he was in France. Feeling something brush his leg, C J looked down and saw that a small dog had strayed from its mistress at a nearby table. No worries, he thought, when in France do as the French, who considered furry friends patrons too. C J embraced the French idea that when you took a table it was yours until you decided to leave. No one was going to rush you through your food or make you feel unwelcome after you had finished eating, so he reveled in relaxing as he ate. C J decided to watch the people traffic and ordered a second coffee and sat a bit longer. Zoe was at a conference today, according to Jeff, so C J had time to kill.
To pass the afternoon he decided to visit Napoleon’s tomb but wasn’t interested in lingering to look at the articles of war and weaponry on site. Deciding the weather was gorgeous and walking felt good, C J made his way to the Seine and continued along its banks toward St. Germain. He stopped at one of the bookseller’s kiosks and sifted through the touristy crap only to find all of the books and magazines were in French. At one point, he took the wide stairway down from street level and walked directly along the banks of the Seine, listening to the sounds of the water lapping against the barges and the riverbank. At the next bridge he took the stairway up and knew he was in the St. Germain district. This area was pretty upscale from what C J could see, so he knew Zoe’s friend was no starving artist.
With his energy starting to fade, C J paused in his search for the apartment building, which he knew was near, and sat down at a café to order a coffee and pastry. As he sat contemplating the architecture of the buildings across the street, he marveled that anyone could tell one huge blue door from another. C J’s travel-weary body was not responding to the coffee, when he saw Zoe round the corner of a narrow street opposite where he was sitting. Not knowing exactly where she was headed, C J tossed some Euros on the table and left the café in a rush, trying to catch Zoe before she reached the apartment building. Turning the corner of the street she had entered, he glimpsed her green jacket and then noticed a tall man with dark curly hair greet her affectionately as they both walked through a tall wooden door.
C J was stunned and tried to think logically about what he had witnessed. The man had bent to kiss Zoe’s cheek and take the bags she was carrying from her. Had he witnessed a friendly gesture or one of a couple that was intimately involved? C J figured he had two options; go to the building and find out what was going on or wait to see if Zoe reappeared soon. That decision was never made because moments later Zoe and the man appeared, leaving the building together, involved in an animated discussion. Luckily for C J, they exited the building, turned and moved down the street away from him. He almost lost them as they took the first left and headed toward the Seine. C J spotted Zoe’s green coat crossing the bridge and noticed the glass Pyramid off to the right on the opposite bank of the river.
Zoe and the man walked quickly into the Tuileries Garden but were so caught up in their discussion that they didn’t notice anything around them. C J, still trying to decide if he was witnessing an argument, wasn’t sure how he wanted to approach the couple. At the end of the garden, he almost lost them when they crossed the Rue de Rivoli and made a dash for the entrance to the Concorde Metro station. C J sprinted across the street, barely missing being clipped by an angry driver. He knew if he lost sight of the couple in the Metro station then he was fucked.
Luckily, the green coat was easy to spot in the crowd. C J followed Zoe and the man to the right while swiping his Metro pass at the tunnel entrance. The platform was mildly crowded, and this allowed C J to pass behind Zoe and the man undetected. Waiting for the train, he mapped out a plan to stay close but out of sight, allowing him time to exit when Zoe and the man reached their stop. As the train pulled up, C J felt people brush past him to get on the train. At the last moment he entered the door, making sure he could see into the next car where Zoe and the man now stood.<
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Three stops later, C J exited the train when he saw Zoe and the man get off. Glancing up, he saw they were at the Ecole Militaire; crap back where I started he thought. Working to keep the green coat in sight, C J collided with an old man and had to drop to one knee as Zoe stopped and turned to look behind her. When she started to walk again, C J paused a moment to let the space between them increase. Exiting the station created a new problem, it had started to rain lightly and umbrellas were sprouting up all over the place, making it harder to find the green coat. Finally C J saw Zoe and the man across the street heading up Avenue Bosquet. Daring the cars to hit him, C J ran across the wide intersection to the sound of horns blaring. Shit, don’t let Zoe turn around he thought. No worries, she and the man were so caught up in their conversation that they didn’t even pause to check out the commotion.
The couple took the first right into a narrow avenue that was virtually empty of people. Fucking shit, C J thought, nothing to do but wait until they get to the end of the avenue and then rush to catch up. Doing this he stepped out onto Rue Cler. The wide pedestrian street was filled with people, cafes and shops and no green coat was in sight. C J looked to his right and saw it was a short distance to an intersecting street, so he decided to start his search that direction. Reaching the end of the street and not finding the couple, he started to double back, looking searchingly through every window. Just past the street he had entered Rue Cler on, he spotted the green coat in Café Central. Zoe and the man were sitting right in the middle of the window, still in conversation. C J stood rooted in place not caring if he was spotted. Zoe’s hand was wiping a tear off of her cheek and then the man leaned over about to kiss her. At that instant Zoe turned and stared into C J’s eyes.
After the Interview Page 13
