“You still set her off, I see.”
“It’s a gift,” he said, trying for a grin, hoping to hide the hurt that squeezed his insides.
Martha smiled. “It’s because she loves you. Besides, women always get emotional around little ones. She’s upset because the baby is gone.”
“Baby?” Panic raced through Jed’s bloodstream. Had he missed something?
“Your daughter,” she said slapping his arm. “You two haven’t been together long enough for her to know if she is expecting.”
Instead of relief, Jed felt a strange sadness followed by a totally insane thought. If Chaney were to become pregnant, maybe he could convince her to stay married. Maybe he could teach her to love him again. Because it was becoming painfully clear to him, he still loved her. Of course, unless he had managed to already circumvent whatever birth control Chaney was using, the way things were right now, the possibility of a baby was doubtful.
“Don’t worry, I’m sure I’ll have a houseful of miniature Sampson’s to chase out of my kitchen soon enough.”
Martha’s words brought back happy memories, but they didn’t lighten Jed’s mood.
“I wouldn’t hold your breath for that one, Martha,” he told her before turning his gaze back toward the road where the limo had driven away. “Right now it seems I’m destined for more negatives than positives. I just hope I don’t take Chaney down with me.”
“Jed, the two of you together can do anything.”
He truly appreciated her supportive motherly tone, but he just couldn’t believe. “Yeah, well, I’m not sure how together we are,” he said then walked down the porch steps. “I think I’ll go for a ride to clear my head.”
Jed’s anger increased in intensity with every step he took toward the horse barn. When he stepped through the entrance the young hand that usually saddled horses and took care of them looked scared when he looked up.
“Do you have a horse I can take out?” Jed asked.
“Yes, yes sir. I’ll get one saddled right--”
Jed held up his hand. “I’ll take care of it, just tell me which horse.”
The boy led him to the corral and pointed out a filly. She stood near the monster stallion Jed knew was Chaney’s favorite. When the boy clapped his hands, both horses raised their heads and looked over. The filly walked toward them. The stallion just watched. Talking to the filly as he looked her over, and waited for the saddle the hand went to get, Jed kept one eye on the stallion. He hadn’t made a move, but the animal watched him closely. Jed got the feeling he was taking the stallion’s girl away. He would have rather taken the stallion knowing how fast the animal could go, but didn’t need to give Chaney any more ammunition.
“You ready for a little exercise, girl?” Jed asked, throwing the blanket then the saddle over her back.
“She’s fast, sir. If you let her, she’ll fly like the wind,” the boy said.
“Good, I feel like flying,” Jed said, offering the boy a grin. “Thanks for your help.”
Before the boy could say anything else, Jed mounted, crossed the corral, and sailed over the fence as if it wasn’t even there. Leaning forward he patted the filly’s neck and whispered, “Go for it, girl.”
The boy had been right. The filly was fast. The wind her speed caused burned his skin and eyes as if standing in front of a sandblaster. Jed simply squinted his eyes near closed and held on. He let her run full out for ten minutes hoping they could out run his demons. Knowing she would run like that until he stopped her or she dropped, he eased her to a slower pace sooner than he liked. It wasn’t her fault he couldn’t escape the problems he’d brought on himself. He’d never been the kind of man to make others pay for his faults. He wasn’t going to start now.
At a walking pace, they rode for another ten minutes. When he realized where he was, he dismounted. After walking the horse to a nearby waterhole, he tied her to a branch in a stand of old scrub oak. He walked a short distance away and sat on the ground. Snatching a piece of dried wheat, he stuck the end in his mouth. He grinned thinking he wished it were a cigarette. Then he shook his head.
He hadn’t craved a smoke since a couple of months after he quit two years ago. Now, in the space of weeks he’d found himself wanting them twice. At least that was one issue he didn’t have to worry about. Ashley, even at only three, had made such a big deal about him quitting that he would never give into that temptation again.
Just thinking about his daughter had tears burning his eyes. What would he do if he couldn’t see her anymore? What would she do? Would she hate him and blame him? Think he abandoned her? Like Chaney does?
Jed spit out the wheat, grabbed a handful of pebbles, and threw them.
The horse whinnied at the noise and angry movements. You’re even scaring animals now. Disgusted with himself and his lack of control, Jed fell backwards. His arms and legs spread wide, he let the sun bake into him. Maybe if he got a good old-fashioned sunburn the physical pain would distract him from all the emotional landmines he seemed to be stumbling into so easily.
A loud neigh brought Jed to a sitting position.
“What the hell?” He looked around him. He had obviously fallen asleep. Glancing up he saw the once clear sky was quickly darkening to an angry gray. He heard the horse neigh again. Jumping up, he jogged over to where he had tied her. Thunder boomed and lightning cracked as he mounted. He knew it would be too dangerous to try to get back to the barn with lightning that close. There was only one choice available.
What else is new? When do I ever have a real choice?
“Well, girl,” he said, patting her shoulder, “I hope that old cabin is still there.”
He was about to turn toward the cabin when he noticed movement in his peripheral vision, a horse and rider if he didn’t miss his guess. As they got closer, the anger that had dissipated with his nap returned tenfold.
“What the hell are you doing out here?” he yelled as Chaney pulled up beside him. Before she could answer, the heavens opened. Rain as hard as any hail he had ever known pelted down on them. He pointed in the direction he had been about to go. “Ride!”
Five rain-soaked minutes later, they pulled up under the overhang on the old cabin. Jed jumped off his mount and grabbed Chaney’s reins. “Get inside. I’ll take care of the horses.”
“I can take--”
“Damn it, Chaney, get inside!”
Jed wrapped the reins of both horses loosely around the post. Then he took the saddle off the filly. Not that he needed to, the horses would be fine for a while if he left them on. He did it because he needed time to calm the fear that had burned in his gut since recognizing Chaney riding through a lightning storm.
It didn’t take a rocket scientist to realize the horses had picked up on his foul mood. The way the stallion kept sidestepping to get away from him, Jed understood. The filly was less wary, but still nervous. He stroked her neck and shoulders and kept up a quiet one-sided dialogue with her. Talking to the horse helped calm him as much as the animal. For a minute, he stood with his head against hers. When the stallion nudged him with his muzzle, Jed grinned.
“Okay, pal,” he said, moving to the stallion’s saddle. Obviously, the monster had decided if the filly would let him close, he was safe.
Having stalled as long as he could, he made a dash for the front door. It opened as he stepped on the small front porch and all his anger came rushing back.
“What the hell did you think you were doing riding out in a lightning storm?” he yelled stepping inside and slamming the door closed.
“Looking for you,” she shouted back.
“Why? I’m not a child you need to worry about,” he said, turning and walking toward the woodstove. Thankful someone had thought to leave some wood inside; he prepared and lit a fire. When Chaney still hadn’t said more he turned back to face her.
Her stance was tight. Something was wrong. Something she didn’t want to tell him. Oh, shit. He took the few steps to stand in front of
her and grasped her arms. Panic clogged his throat but he forced the words from his throat. “Did something happen to Ashley?”
Chaney started to fight his hold until he spoke. The fear in his eyes and hoarse timber of his voice stopped her. She cupped his cheek with her hand. “No, oh no, Jed. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you like that. As far as I know Ashley is fine.”
“Then what’s wrong? What don’t you want to tell me? Wait. Is it Steve? Did something happen to my cousin?”
She shook her head. “No. It was you.”
His brow furrowed as his eyebrows dipped. He tipped his head in obvious confusion. “Me? Nothing happened to me.”
Chaney knew he didn’t understand, but she knew something had happened to him. Her. She had kicked him when he was down. Turned her back on his pain.
“Martha said you--”
He released her and held his hand up as he stepped back. “I get it. I said something that made her suspicious and now you’re worried she knows the marriage is a sham and you’re going to lose the ranch. I’ll straighten it out. You didn’t need to ride out in the middle of a storm to read me the riot act.”
A second before she tossed out a sarcastic comeback, she realized she probably deserved that.
“That’s not what I was going to say,” she said. “When you didn’t come in for lunch and the storm started rolling in, Martha said you mentioned going for a ride. The stable hand said you had left an hour or so earlier and looked . . .” she grinned and raised her eyebrows, “scary.”
He blew out a loud breath and plowed his hands through his wet hair. “Yeah, sorry, I didn’t mean to terrorize your hired hand.”
Now Chaney did walk over to him. “You didn’t. He said you looked scary, but the way you handled the filly went a long way toward winning him over. I got the feeling he was a little worried about you, when you didn’t come back before the storm.” Reaching out, she took one of his hands in hers. “And so was I.”
“Right.”
“I guess I deserve that. I threw your offers to help as well as your concern for me back in your face earlier. My only defense is, no actually, there is no defense for how I treated you. It was obvious you were devastated watching Ash leave. She’s not my daughter and I was devastated. I guess I just wasn’t prepared for your concern in regard to me.” She looked away then forced herself to meet his gaze. “It’s been a long time since anyone--”
Jed pulled on her halting her words.
“Martha and Belle would do anything for you. So would any of your hands.”
She smiled, shaking her head. “Totally different thing and this isn’t about me. It’s about you. When we were young, you never talked about your parents, so I never realized how much you missed them. You’ve already lost so much. I see it in your eyes even now. I can only guess how terrifying it is to face the possibility you might lose your daughter as well.”
He yanked his hand from hers. His eyes glared down at her.
“Don’t you dare pity me. I won’t accept that from anyone and definitely not someone who hates me.”
Chaney held herself still against his anger, but inside she cringed. It was one thing to say she hated him herself; it was another to have those words turned back on her. She could understand his anger. Continuing this pretense was stupid and tiring. She didn’t love Jed anymore, but she had to admit, she didn’t hate him either.
As she stood there meeting his hot angry gaze and listened to the storm raging outside, a delicious thought came to her. Actually, memories of the two of them waiting out a storm in this cabin washed over her. She reached a hand to his face again and stroked her fingers along his jaw.
“I don’t hate you, Jed,” she said. Going up on tiptoe, she brushed her lips over his. His hands grasped her hips and pushed her a hair’s breadth away.
“You’ve made it abundantly clear these past two weeks you do; and, that you aren’t interested in us being together anymore. I might not be brilliant, but I’m not stupid either. I’m also not a glutton for punishment. Don’t worry. I’ll keep up the charade. We both need the marriage to look real.”
Chaney held his gaze through his entire speech. She even agreed with most of what he said. She knew she was playing with fire. If she got pregnant now, her heart would break when he fought her for custody. However, the pain she’d seen in his eyes when Ash had left, the pain she’d added with her hateful words, and her fear for him when the storm rolled in had changed something inside her. Now, between the rain on the roof, the fire in the stove, and the fire building low in her belly, she didn’t want to keep her distance. She wanted Jed. She might not want him forever, but a quick trip down memory lane in this cabin? She couldn’t resist.
She wrapped her hands around his neck, pulling him close again. “Jed, sometimes you talk too much.”
To keep him from arguing she kissed him. This time she didn’t waste time with a brush of her lips to his. She leaned into him fully and gave it everything she had.
It took a moment or two, but he did respond in kind. In fact, he took control and Chaney gladly let him. They might not be meant for each other, but one thing they knew was how to please each other physically. When they broke the kiss, his fingers were already trying to open her shirt. Chaney pushed his hands away and smiled. She couldn’t let him tear it open in his haste. Riding back to the house without a shirt wouldn’t be a very good idea. While she worked the buttons on her shirt, she smiled watching him pull the T-shirt he wore over his head. His hands moved quickly to his belt.
Oh yeah, this was going to be good.
That was the last clear thought she had as his body stole her breath.
Jed tried to tell himself no. The connection between his hands and his brain seemed to have short-circuited as he kept stripping away pieces of clothing. As soon as they finished with his own, they moved back to Chaney’s body. Damn. Why couldn’t she wear plain cotton underwear for work? These colored lace things he had quickly learned she preferred were so contrary to her regular clothing choices they drove him insane.
As her wet shirt dropped to the floor, he grabbed her around the waist and bent his head to take a breast through the teal colored lace covering it. The rougher texture of the lace contrasted the soft skin he knew lay beneath it feeding his hunger for her even more. He stopped fighting his desire. At the moment, he didn’t even care if this was pity sex. He wouldn’t deny himself this gift.
Lifting her slightly, he took a few steps and backed her up against the wall freeing his other hand from bracing her. While he paid homage to her other breast, his hands moved to the waist of her jeans. It took little time to open them, but sliding wet jeans down her legs proved another thing altogether. He lifted her over his shoulder causing her to screech in surprise.
“Jed! What are you . . . doing?” She finished her question as he deposited her on the cot across the room.
Holding her feet in the air, he worked her boots off one at a time. His gaze never left her body. With her jeans and panties bunched around her knees and her bra still on she was a half-wrapped candy he was having a hard time waiting to devour. Throwing the second boot across the room, he grabbed her pant legs and pulled them off in a whoosh letting her legs fall to the cot. He stood over her admiring her body. When his gaze reached her eyes, he smiled.
“Take off your bra,” he said.
When she did as he asked his mouth went dry. It had been forever since he had seen her like this. Though they had been together several times, she never let him look at her like this. She made sure it was dark, or they came together fast. This was an unexpected treat. Their first night together, his hand had felt a scar along her leg, though the distraction of actually being with her again had diverted his attention. The next morning in the barn, her rush to cover herself had confused him again and made him almost ask. Her sudden change in mood had again distracted him. After that, he decided they didn’t need to add any more friction between them and didn’t even think about it. Now,
he figured either she thought the darkness caused by the storm, or the light from the stove weren’t enough for him to see her clearly. But damn, what he could see was better than he could have ever imagined. Scar or not, Chaney was a beautiful woman.
Chaney had developed into the perfect mix of soft and toned. Since the woman never took time to lie in the sun there were no distracting tan lines. Her skin was pure white temptation with the dark tips of her breasts enticing him to near bursting. Nevertheless, he forced himself to go slow. There was no doubt in his mind this might be their last time together. He wanted to make sure it was a damned fine memory.
Starting at the foot of the cot, he kissed her toes. He had to hold her foot since she was extremely ticklish. The memory made him smile as he continued kissing his way up over her ankle and strong toned calf. Flicking his tongue across the sensitive skin behind her knee had her trying to jerk away again. He held on and continued his way up her inner thigh. The woman had amazingly sensitive skin. It quivered under his touch.
“Jed, please.”
Her whispered plea fueled his desire. He couldn’t continue the same lingering pace, especially reaching the juncture of her thighs. The scent of her sex made him pulse with need. Pulling himself up further, he licked and nipped his way over her taut belly to her breasts. Savoring their softness for a quick moment, he moved up and took her mouth in a hungry kiss.
He nearly went over the edge when she rubbed her pelvis against him. Breaking the kiss, he inhaled deeply as he stared down at the passion radiant on her face. He braced himself on his forearm while he reached down with his other hand to stroke her again. The way her body immediately lifted into his palm and her quick breaths told him she was close. As much as he loved watching her come, this time, he wanted them to come together. Just once, he wanted to remember the wonder of that again.
Using his knees, he pushed her thighs even further apart, and then positioned himself to enter her. He looked deep into her eyes, gave her a quick hard kiss, then thrust himself to the hilt. His fingers curled into the thin mat on the cot as she wrapped her legs around his hips and amazingly pulled him even deeper.
A Daring Proposal Page 10
